Mainstream Media Fails

Old Balls Can’t Stop Talking About How He Married A Black Woman And Probably Wants A Cookie

Want to have your business advert seen by over 500,000 people per month? Email us at for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

Follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook




I have to admit, I’ve actually reached the point where I get slightly aroused when I see that Carlo “Old Balls” Baldino. Today was classic OB. He entitled it, “How can you tell if you’re racist?,” so you knew it was going to be good. The delusional thoughts of Sutton’s favorite geriatric are italicized and Turtleboy’s rational thoughts are bolded.

“Conservatives insist there are no racial problems in Worcester, that there’s nothing to discuss, and that it’s only a small group of Black radicals with an “agenda” who are responsible for all the fuss. They maintain the police department is just fine, there’s no racial profiling, no police brutality, and that the police treat Blacks and Latinos exactly the same way they treat white folks. To them there’s no injustice in the justice system.

The Worcester school department is fine, too, and the fact the student population is 70% Black, Latino, and Asian while the teachers are vastly and disproportionately white makes no difference. If the city could rid itself of the Black school superintendent all would be well, so long as there could be a cop in every classroom to maintain order and control those non-white, thuggish students.”

Screen Shot 2015-05-25 at 12.01.53 PM

It’s official – the only way Old Balls can ever spit together a rational statement is when he’s being sarcastic. Everything he said was true, right up until the final sentence. Worcester’s a great place to live if you’re into diversity and loving everyone. We’re big into that at Turtleboy Sports, which is why we like the Woo. 

The police department is fine. There is no racial profiling. There is no injustice in the justice system. The schools are great, asides from the occasional dooshnozzle who brings a gun to school. The racial makeup of the teachers in comparison to the racial makeup of their students is obviously irrelevant, so long as the teacher’s show up every day to teach and the kids show up to learn. 

If the city could get rid of the superintendent, the schools could be even greater. He’s right about that. The fact that she’s black of course doesn’t matter. After all, Old Balls is the one who seems to be obsessed with her race. We on the other hand see her as an equal, and thus we judge her based on her merit. And even a blind hamster could tell you that she’s basically as bad as you get. 

Oh, and the cops at North High have worked out GREAT. Obviously we don’t need one in every classroom, but the violent incidents at North High have magically stopped happening now that police officers patrol the hallways. On top of that students at all these schools are developing positive relationships with the police, instead of learning to hate them like the Circlejerk directs them to. Weird how that happens. 

But man, Old Balls sure gets a little racist in that last sentence doesn’t he? “Control the non-white thuggish students?” Newsflash OB – white kids act like thugs too. The cops are there to maintain order and develop long-lasting relationships with the community. Doesn’t matter the color of the students they’re helping and protecting. Doesn’t matter the color of the students they’re keeping under control. Only a racist would focus on stuff like that. 

Screen Shot 2015-05-25 at 12.02.21 PM

Then he threw this gem in there:

“Here’s your litmus test: if you would object to your white son or daughter marrying a person of color—Black, Latino, Asian, any variation of non-white—then you’re a racist, pure and simple, because you think being white is superior.”

LOL. You will never, ever see someone so proud to have married a person of color than Old Balls. Seriously though, does Joyce McNickles ever get sick of this? It’s like if you married a heavy woman, and you constantly went around talking about how you’re not noble unless you marry a heavy hitter too. Who would want that kind of attention constantly drawn to them by their delusional spouse?

Newsflash Old Balls – no one gives a shit about interracial marriage. Turtleboy Jr. can marry whoever he wants. I really could care less, so long as she’s a groovy chick who will take care of my precious Turtleboy III.

We get it though. You married a black woman. Cool story bro. You want a cookie?

It got better:

“You’re still a racist unless you accept someone who’s not white into your family.”

Oh I see. Now you’re racist if you don’t have someone in your family who is black. I don’t know if you guys got the memo, but Old Balls married a black woman, so he’s passed the “I’m not a racist test” with flying colors. Even ask him. The only way to join him is to go and grab yourself a partner of color and head on down to the chapel of love. Otherwise you’re a racist. 

Screen Shot 2015-05-25 at 12.02.07 PM


The best part of the Old Balls columns are when he starts making up imaginary stories and anecdotes that never happened:

My family, friends, and teaching colleagues went crazy 25 years ago when they found out I was simply dating someone not white. One teacher told me she didn’t “go for this interracial stuff. People should stick to their own kind.” A close friend said I was “ruining my life.”

No they didn’t. That definitely never happened. If it did he’d put someone’s name to it. Ya see, anyone can just make up racist anecdotes in order to try to perpetuate the myth that racism is still running strong in the Woo. But if this is something that really happened to you then you’d mention the person’s name. After all, Old Balls has no problem calling people out by name in his columns. But yet for this story, it’s an unnamed person. Nice try Old Balls. 

Because a short time ago I gave a guest lecture in a business class at Assumption College called “Diversity in the Workplace.” A wide range of issues was covered, and I told some pretty funny stories about the reactions of the white folks in my life to my relationship with a Black woman.

No you didn’t. You never lectured a class at Assumption College. That never actually happened. I’m sure it did in your head. After all, the progressive anti-racist white guy who lectures a classroom full of privileged white kids at an expensive private school about diversity gets Old Balls aroused like no pill ever could. But there’s just no way any college, while looking for a guest speaker, would call up a delusional ginger from Sutton.

Of course the dead giveaway that it never happened was that he said he told some “funny stories.” Picture being a 19 year old kid in a guest lecture by a 75 year old man who keeps talking about the old days when the Smothers Brothers were cracking wisecracks about the establishment. There’s no way a single kid in this imaginary class would be able to stay awake for more than five minutes. 

It gets better:

The class was composed of junior and seniors, and the professor had them each write a letter to me at the beginning of the next class giving their opinions of my talk. One young woman wrote that she was “shocked” that I would marry someone Black. She said that like me she was Italian, and that she would NEVER do something like that. “I wasn’t raised that way,” she said.

LOL, yea I’m sure that happened in real life. A college student, who just so happens to be Italian, wasn’t afraid to put her name on a piece of paper and admit that she’s petrified of black men. That stuff happens all the time. Because every Italian girl in America is being raised by Tony Soprano. There’s nothing offensive about perpetuating the stereotype that Italian people are all racist with a fabricated story. Nothing at all. 

Screen Shot 2015-05-25 at 12.02.34 PM

But another wrote “I’m so glad you spoke to our class. Before you came I thought I had done something wrong, but now I know I didn’t. Last year I dated a Black boy who’s a student here, and my parents threw me out of the house.”

No they didn’t. Besides the obvious, that no one would ever tell Old Balls that they were happy that he spoke to their class, this tall tale has some gaping holes to it. For starters, what kind of girl would ever write that she “thought I had done something wrong” by dating a “black boy?” No college-aged girl would ever say that.

But you gotta love how Old Balls pats himself on the back by claiming that she said, “but now I know I didn’t do anything wrong.” Thanks for teaching me that my parents are racist Old Balls!!!

Oh yea, and if the girl was thrown out of her house for dating a “black boy” then how is she still going to college? So you’re telling me that Mommy and Daddy tossed their princess out on the streets but yet they’re still paying for her to go to a $40,000 per year college? Right. That makes TONS of sense. 

Then there’s just the blatant historical lies:

The average newspaper reader is 55 years old. Until 1977 (38 years ago) interracial marriage was still against the law in 13 states. It took a Supreme Court decision (Loving v. Virginia) to overturn those laws.

He’s right about the fact that only the elderly read the newspaper. But Loving vs. Virginia was actually a 1967 decision, which would make it 48 years ago. 

My question is, how long is the Telegram going to continue to employ this adorable old man? At what point does the Telegram say, “This is just mean”? I mean, Jim Normandin and crew down on Front Street know damn well that they’re using a senile elderly person for page views. I get it. We’re in the page views business too. But they might as well go down to the PIP shelter, find some poor schmuck who lost his marbles in NAM, and give him a typewriter. Sure, his ramblings would make no sense and it’s mean spiritied to use someone like this for page views, but it would get clicks. That’s what the Telegram is now doing with Old Balls.

Want to have your business advert seen by over 500,000 people per month? Email us at for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

Follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook







40 Comment(s)
  • RSoxGuy
    May 26, 2015 at 3:52 pm

    SO, has Joyce’s family accepted (NOT TOLERATED, that would be racist) Carlo and his hate speech %100 into their family? If there is any hold outs does that mean her family is racist? Funny the intellectual coward/hypocrite that Carlo is never brought up that aspect of his ignorant and extremely egocentric “test”….

    • Steve Gambone
      June 1, 2015 at 8:11 pm

      Well RSoxGuy Carlo’s hypocrisy might have just got him in trouble at the Telegram. His comments have disappeared from view. His latest post is gone along with his comments on other stuff.

      Of course it could be Carlo just vaporized himself by accident with his blogging powers.

  • Steve Gambone
    May 26, 2015 at 11:26 am

    The Head Turtle needs to get called out on some of his blunders in this anti-Carlo rant. Carlo is actually being sensible (or maybe just looking sensible) when he doesn’t provide the names of the people in his little anecdotes. You aren’t supposed to actually name the folks in that situation, it’s a commonly accepted American practice. Of course with Carlo he might not remember the names, but even if he did and had written authorization from the people in his stories he’s not supposed to reveal that stuff in most situations.

    When Turtleboy uses the “if you knew you’d tell” argument it’s childish and silly. The fact that he played in an Afghanistan sandbox for a while doesn’t entitle the lead Turtle to change the rules of the game back here in America. You got outed Turtleboy and you’re still ticked off over it. Don’t demand that all others must be outed too. Rise above your anger and side with the American team on this one.

    And stop trashing all the over 55 set when you go on an anti-Carlo rant Tutrleboy. You kids have no idea how this internet society stuff works. You know about using the technology but you don’t have the decades of experience needed to know how to use that technology in a truly social way.

    Smarten up Turtleboy and up your blogging game.

    • BobnMic
      May 26, 2015 at 12:30 pm

      WOW – Large and in charge huh?! Holy Schnikes!

    • TurtleBoySpurts
      May 26, 2015 at 12:44 pm

      That’s right, TB, Stevie Hambone knows better and more than anybody else, so you’d best listen to him, you young whippersnapper. Stevie’s a genius, just ask him. ROFL

      • BobnMic
        May 26, 2015 at 1:12 pm

        I enthusiastically adhere to the ultimate and virtuous wisdom of his eminence Stevie Hambone. For without your exceedingly profuse knowledge and intellect where would such a rat like me be? In despair…

        • Steve Gambone
          May 26, 2015 at 6:59 pm

          It’s just the rules of the American game BobnMic. Every once in a while Carlo stumbles into doing something right, even if it’s for the wrong reasons. He shouldn’t blab the names of the people in his stories so there’s no point saying he should.

          As for Turtleboy… trashing Vietnam veterans to get at Carlo is bad tactics and so is trashing the over 55 set. He needs more allies at this point in his blogging career. The old Telegram is gone and Carlo is a Gatehouse Media blogger now. A different enemy requires different tactics. Turtleboy needs to up his game to expand his blogging business and take on the Gatehouse folks.

          It’s not a new problem, lots of businesses need to adapt as they grow. The right set of old-timers would make better business mentors for the Turtle, more experience in the human factors. Better technology and the skills in using that technology only take you so far.

          As for my title, I’m the ‘Wormtown Star’. The last time I checked Google agreed.

          • BobnMic
            May 26, 2015 at 10:10 pm

            Seriously? Brown star at best.

          • BobnMic
            May 26, 2015 at 11:03 pm

            Did TB really do this?: Your statement: ” As for Turtleboy… trashing Vietnam veterans to get at Carlo is bad tactics and so is trashing the over 55 set.” My response: I do not recall Turtleboy ever saying this. Correct me please.

          • TurtleBoySpurts
            May 27, 2015 at 5:16 am

            Aw, Stevie Hambone, even the Turtles, whom you’re clearly desperately trying to align with, don’t like you. I remember the same for the T&G, where both libs and cons found you tedious, annoying, and arrogant far beyond what befits a human of your standing.

        • Steve Gambone
          May 27, 2015 at 7:14 am

          Here’s the Turtleboy quote you’re looking for BobnMic. It plays on an anti-Vietnam veteran stereotype. Those veterans didn’t get the parade and the “thank you for your service” message. They got spat on, called baby killers and as veterans they got stereotyped as crazy people living among us. It was unnecessary for Turtleboy to include that kind of reference in an anti-Carlo rant.

          “But they might as well go down to the PIP shelter, find some poor schmuck who lost his marbles in NAM, and give him a typewriter. Sure, his ramblings would make no sense and it’s mean spiritied to use someone like this for page views…”

      • RSoxGuy
        May 26, 2015 at 3:53 pm

        Still changing names into 3rd grade insults? Stay classy!

  • Nanny
    May 26, 2015 at 9:31 am

    I dated a biracial woman 25 years ago. When do I get my trophy?

    • Steve Gambone
      May 26, 2015 at 10:21 am

      Well Nanny you only dated her so you might still be a racist because you haven’t met your minority family member quota. If she was half white and half black then your “I’m not a Racist” trophy hangs in the balance. If you stopped dating her because you didn’t like her whiteness or her white views then you might get a little Carlo Trophy. However, if you did not condemn her white ancestors or you didn’t worship and adore her black ancestry then NO TROPHY FOR YOU from the Carlo trophy Nazis.

  • colleen
    May 26, 2015 at 7:25 am

    It’s dumbfounding that the T&G lost Sinacola and about to get rid of Hitch….yet this moron is allowed to write his usual racist crap twice a week….along with Clive.
    The editorial page is now a joke….the editorials are long, boring and irrelevant to the politics of the day. The letters are sidelined, as if an afterthought.
    I just wrote a LTE complaining….let’s see if they publish it.
    Someone wrote a letter the other day saying they like the changes at the T&G and they ran it two days in a row! How desperate.
    I wish more people would complain- basically no political news will reach the readers without Sinacola and Hitch.

    • Devils Mouthpiece
      May 26, 2015 at 8:24 am

      Collen, just cancel your subscription and let them know its Carlo and Clive that compelled you to do so. Most the junk is still accessible on their site and you can get just all the information for free on wicked local. I canceled mine a month ago and don’t miss it one bit. The added bonus are the mailers they send with discounts to re-subscribe, but I just look at them as savings on toilet paper.

      • Steve Gambone
        May 26, 2015 at 10:00 am

        Just an FYI Devils M. You aren’t free from supporting Gatehouse Media when you go to Wicked Local. The Telegram and the Wicked Local sites are all Gatehouse Media owned and controlled.

        Cancelling a Telegram subscription does save you cash and telling them why you cancelled is a good idea. However you’re still supporting the folks who wrecked the Telegram by using Wicked Local. It’s gotta be close to a newspaper monopoly in the Wormtown area at this point so there may not be much choice.

        • Devils Mouthpiece
          May 26, 2015 at 12:00 pm

          I had forgotten they were under the same organization. Sure, they get money from clicks, but I don’t click on ANY advertisers they post. If I do see something of interest, I go directly to the vendor so they don’t get the click through revenue or ratings. The other clicks are unavoidable unless you want to live in a vacuum. In addition, I only go there for the headline news. No more do I read the columnists, blogs, etc. I used to like to read some of the amusing comments and comment on occasion, but now they only support facebook so I’m out. I have absolutely no use for any of that social media crap that puts your life on public display. Outside of the woo, the tv outlets have decent websites.

    • StickinToMyOpinion
      May 26, 2015 at 9:39 am

      Hi Colleen- They didn’t publish mine.

    • Steve Gambone
      May 27, 2015 at 7:23 am

      Collen the Telegram just repeated another LTE. Before a letter writer was restricted to one letter every 3 months. Then it dropped to one every 6 weeks. Now one letter gets repeated in the same week.

      In a comment to today’s repeat I nominated Baldino to be the official letter writer of the week where his letter gets reprinted every day.

      Good humor is always worth rereading.

  • O the humanities
    May 26, 2015 at 5:04 am

    If Carlo is the best the T&G can do for a blogger, they should be mortified. The guy is as laughably dry of ideas as Hitch. Hopefully they will both disappear this summer. PS Carlo: rent some Pam Grier VCR tapes and take a blue pill.

  • Carlo's Daddy
    May 25, 2015 at 9:22 pm

    Old Balls carlo is better than the comic strip….Carlo, tell us that great story again about how you converted your Christian dad who went to Mount Caramel every Sunday into an atheist on his deathbed…..

    carlo, please tell us all that heart warming story again!!!

    You can’t make this stuff up!!!!

    • StickinToMyOpinion
      May 25, 2015 at 9:48 pm

      Carlo can make it up. All his blogs are fabricated. He’s so disturbed he believes them. Remember the beautiful Christian funeral and Burial Carlo threw for his father? What was that song Carlo was tapping his foot to? Oh yeah:
      Gonna go to the spirit in the sky,
      That’s where I’m gonna go when I die,
      When I die and they lay me to rest,
      I’m gonna go to the place that’s the best….

      I still say the only way anything like Baldino could have possibly come from was 2 parents who had to be first cousins.

  • Frogshit
    May 25, 2015 at 5:51 pm

    Problem is… Old Balls STILL ain’t never hit a Black chick… Oh well. Whatta’ ya gonna’ do… Penis Pump to the rescue!

    • TurtleBoySpurts
      May 25, 2015 at 7:06 pm

      Hahaha… Guys like you are exactly the reason Carlo and his wife make a boatload of money doing diversity training. You should post your address so they can send a “thank you” card”. All I can say is, they must be laughing so fucking hard inside every time they stand in front of a group of you mindless, ignorant motherfuckers who’ve been referred for mandated correction. Cha-ching!!!

      • StickinToMyOpinion
        May 25, 2015 at 9:25 pm

        Psycho Carlo still ruminating over getting real names and addresses I see. Can’t fix stupid. Will always be known as the top blogger and commenter with the most negative feedback. The only likes and agrees he could muster, was from his own multiple personalities! Pathetic. Only old balls would send out thank you cards for that, and be able to laugh about it.

      • RSoxGuy
        May 26, 2015 at 3:49 pm

        Psssttt…. You just threw Carlo under the bus you tool. He (lies) and says they dont make anything off of it and only do it to educate the masses and free the (B)lack man from the oppression that is the white man’s privileged.

        So which is it? Carlo is a lying piece of racist shit (as we all know) or you dont have a clue what you are talking about like a typical troll?

  • Chris From Georgia
    May 25, 2015 at 5:25 pm

    Turtleboysports is being way too kind to Carlos.

    • Steve Gambone
      May 25, 2015 at 7:24 pm

      Well hello there Chris from Georgia. Did you get banned from the Telegram months ago? I recall some Britomartis “R.I.P. Chris from Georgia” cackling little comment. The Telegram sheriff and deputies tombstoned lots of comments before they finally wiped out all the anonymous folks with the Facebook switch.

    • StickinToMyOpinion
      May 25, 2015 at 9:15 pm

      Hello Chris from Georgia!! Good to see you here!

  • O the humanities
    May 25, 2015 at 4:55 pm

    Shouldn’t Joyce be embarrassed to be married to an old white arsehole? And why does he capitalize the words “black” and “latino” but not white? What self-loathing does he suffer from? He clearly has no other subject matter in his crumbling noggin. Like Clive, he’s a one- note Johnny.

  • Maggie the Cat
    May 25, 2015 at 3:05 pm

    I don’t think Old Balls is “in the employ” of the Telegram. He’s just a blogger, and I don’t think the Telegram pays any of their bloggers. They see they can get some “content” for nothing, and they take it for what it’s worth (literally). There are a couple of worthwhile blogs, but the majority of the writers are using blogging on the Telegram to feed their egos and/or as therapy exercises. Old Balls falls in the latter category.

    The Telegram did get themselves in a bind, though, by accepting Carlo’s blog. The only way to get rid of him is to get rid of all the blogs, because if they singled him out for removal he’d sue the paper for…discrimination! I choose to ignore him, like some crazy guy standing on a street corner screaming that the end of the world is coming.

    • StickinToMyOpinion
      May 25, 2015 at 4:32 pm

      Maggie the Cat: The Telegram could toss him out with that other blogger, the one that uses a picture of a guy on a motorcycle when commenting, but his blog photo proves he’s the crazy guy standing on a street corner screaming that the end of the world is coming.

    • Frogshit
      May 25, 2015 at 5:54 pm

      No Maggie… They can boot his ass at will. He gets “clicks” though….

  • fuck old balls
    May 25, 2015 at 12:15 pm

    I hate race traders! I can’t stand when people have mixed kids!

    • jafreese
      May 25, 2015 at 12:59 pm

      Everyone knows mixed race kids are the cutest

    • Danus
      May 25, 2015 at 1:01 pm

      Race trader? A play on words, but is describes Joyce well. It is her bread and butter after all

      • TurtleBoySpurts
        May 25, 2015 at 1:26 pm

        A play on words? ROFL More like typical Turtlebot language shortcomings. Nice attempt at spinning away jaw-dropping ignorance, though.

        • Danus
          May 25, 2015 at 4:02 pm

          I know a snake oil merchant, and she fits the definition

        • StickinToMyOpinion
          May 25, 2015 at 4:20 pm

          “TurtleBoySpurts” another play on words? ROFL more like typical Baldino babbling. You’re a psychopath, and so is your trophy wife.

Comment on this Post


Boston Globe Covers 4-11 Boston College, But Not 12-1, #22 UMass
Boston Globe Apparently Will Run Any Article As Long As It Shits On Good Things Like The Ice Bucket Challenge
Boston Globe Writer Calls Dedham, Brookline, Walpole, Everett Football Coaches And Players Intolerant Homophobes, So Patriots Should Sign Michael Sam