WTF

Old Guy Who Crashes Into Easter Service In Reading Because What Time Is Matlock On?

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Boston.com:An 85-year-old man suffered minor injuries after he drove into a Reading church during its Easter services Sunday morning. No one else was harmed.

Reading Police Sgt. John McKenna told Boston.com that the motorist told authorities he accidentally hit the gas while arriving at The First Baptist Church of Reading. The car drove over the parking curb and hit the corner of the church, damaging one of the building’s drain spouts.

McKenna said the driver was transported to an area hospital with injuries that “did not appear to be serious.”

A church employee who declined to give her name said about 300 people were in the church at the time of the crash.

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Here’s my question – where was Carlo Baldino at this time? Reading isn’t exactly Sutton, but I think it’s entirely plausible that he somehow ended up there on his way to Sunday afternoon Bingo. The thought of Old Balls operating a motor vehicle should put the fear of God in everyone.

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Old people driving is a touchy issue. On the one hand, old people are at best a nuisance, and at worst a menace while behind the wheel. On the other hand, we’re all gonna be old one day. It’s the ultimate conundrum. Like, if you wanna start making it harder for old people to drive, you’re kind of just fucking yourself over later on. Not having a car blows. Not having a car and barely being able to walk probably blows a lot more.

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I’m sorry, but if you don’t know the difference between the brake pedal and the accelerator, then your ass should be taking the bus.

Here’s my take on driving. It should be a routine experience that requires exerting no effort at all. Literally, you should feel relaxed and comfortable at all times. If you’re not, then you shouldn’t be driving. For some people, driving looks genuinely hard. Driving should only be allowed for people who find driving to be a non-laborious task. Like, if it takes a concerted effort for you to turn the steering wheel, you shouldn’t be driving. You shouldn’t be like a fat guy trying to run a 5K when you’re behind the wheel. That’s all I’m saying.

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7 Comment(s)
  • Steven Stover
    April 7, 2015 at 9:16 pm

    The racist atheist blogger did not even know it was Easter. Otherwise in Sunday’s T&G he would have tried his hardest to deny solace and comfort to those who believe in a Higher Power. Nothing sucks worse than a Jehovah Witness in a suit knocking at your door except a jerk like the racist blogger trying to force his shit down everyone’s throat.

  • Nanny
    April 7, 2015 at 7:00 pm

    Manual transmissions. They require thought. This is good. YMMV.

  • RSoxGuy
    April 6, 2015 at 3:14 pm

    Maybe Carlo just forgot his meds again. Alzheimer’s is a serious disease that affects many of us in different ways. Some afflicted with the disease think they have some how changed their ethnic family history (old white men who think they are old black men). Some think they are more popular than they are (Carlo thinks his 30k per yr hits are better than TB’s 100k in the last 45 days).

  • Jafreese
    April 6, 2015 at 9:34 am

    Everyone should need to go back to driving school for a couple days every 5 years or so, regardless of age. So many dangerous and clueless drivers out there, would do good to give reminders of little things, like if you’re too close to the car in front of you it may be physically impossible for you to avoid hitting them if they slam on the brakes. Or how about not blocking intersections and screwing up traffic. Some motorcycle safety would be nice too even for people who never want to ride. Totally changes your perspective of driving.

  • Buntanyo
    April 6, 2015 at 8:38 am

    Both sets of my grandparents lost their licenses while in their late 70’s for creating extremely dangerous driving situations, not the least of was driving the wrong way up and exit ramp. Another was trying to make 3 point U turn on a 4 lane main street, got shook up so bad that he could not navigate his way from the middle of the street. Another simply had a stroke while cruising for Wendys, and damaged several vehicles.

    I would like to think that older generations will have better “old driving skills” than the current or previous generations of 70-80 years olds. When they started driving in the 40’s, I don’t even think “traffic” existed. And the changes in driving over that time have happened exponentially. They simply haven’t been able to keep up from what they learned as a kid to where we are now.

    Driving in the last 20 years hasn’t changed as much; a kid learning to drive in the 80s-90’s, knew from the start about traffic and all the crazy drivers. Not necessarily a good thing, but I think it will make them much more comfortable driving when they are older, assuming the damn google car hasn’t taken over.

    I think when you hit “senior” status, the testing needs to happen every couple of years, and in a way that is specifically geared to old people. The regular old driving test isn’t enough.

  • O the humanities
    April 6, 2015 at 4:58 am

    quite frankly, I suck behind the wheel and I know it. I blame the fact that I got my license later than most, which makes a person keenly aware of death. The elderly on the highway are the scariest. They freeze up when they encounter ramps with merging traffic .
    I think anyone over 75 should have to retest every two years.

  • Maggie the Cat
    April 6, 2015 at 4:35 am

    There are some 40-something drivers in my neighborhood who are incredibly dangerous drivers, so much so that their driving has become a topic of discussion by the neighbors. Some people have changed their routes to work/school because of these people. They are much more dangerous than old people. Some day, I swear, one of these 40-somethings is going to kill somebody.

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