Sports WTF

Chinese Guy Jumps Seven Floors To His Death To Get Out Of Shopping With Girlfriend

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A man who was fed up with his girlfriend’s incessant Christmas shopping responded to her request for one more look around a mall shoe store by leaping seven floors to his death.

The 38-year-old, identified as Tao Hsiao, had been shopping with his girlfriend at the Golden Eagle International Shopping Center in Xuzhou, China, when she asked to check out one last shoe store.

Having been inside the mall for five hours, Tao had reached his limit, and reportedly insisted that they leave immediately.

“He told her she already had enough shoes, more shoes that she could wear in a lifetime and it was pointless buying any more,” an eyewitness was quoted as saying. “She started shouting at him accusing him of being a skinflint and of spoiling Christmas, it was a really heated argument.”

Surveillance footage shows Tao angrily hurling the shopping bags and jumping over the railing onto the cosmetics section below.

A spokesman for the shopping center says no one below was injured in December 7 incident, and that the man died instantly upon impact.

“This is a tragic incident, but this time of year can be very stressful for many people,” the spokesman said.

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Jumping seven floors at the mall? What does this guy think he’s Jackie Chan? Stick the landing brotha.

Until I read this, I had no idea that they even had malls in China. To my knowledge Red China is a communist country. I was under the impression that communism sucks – thus the whole Cold War thing. Call me close-minded but when I think of China I think of thousands of people working in close quarters in an Apple factory. Then I think of that big ass wall, and then a bunch of farms. And of course I picture the military just taking all your money so that you can’t get rich.

And they celebrate Christmas in China? Blew my mind right there too. Christmas is a Christian holiday right? So China is a Christian nation now? I was under the impression that you weren’t allowed to freely practice religion in China. Although my understanding of Chinese culture largely comes from Forrest Gump: “In the land of China, they never go to Church.”

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But if they have giant malls like this, and Chinese women shop till they drop just like American women, then I guess I’m kind of confused why they get such a bad rap. Either way, this guy just gave new meaning to the phrase “shop till you drop.” And if I told you that some poor schmuck threw himself to his death by jumping off a seventh floor balcony in order to get away from his shopaholic girlfriend, what country would you guess it happened in? Guarantee nine out of ten people say China. As crazy and messed up as Americans can be, we’re simply no match for the Chinese. This is why they would defecate on us in a war. You think this guy’s nuts for killing himself in order to get out of a shopping spree? LOL. Plenty more where that came from…..Americans.

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The bottom line is that this guy had a few different options when his annoying girlfriend couldn’t help herself from buying yet another pair of shoes that she will never wear:

1) Go to the bar, get drunk and pass out in the car while your girlfriend shops.

2) Dump the girlfriend, move on with his life, and meet someone else.

3) Throw HER off the balcony.

4) Get in the car and leave her there to shop, and then walk her ass home.

5) Kill yourself by jumping off ledge.

Option #5 seems to be the worst possible choice. In all honesty though, I totally feel this guys pain and so does every other man who has ever been in a relationship. The obsession women have with shopping is something I will never understand. They have ZERO PROBLEM with spending five hours going into stores, looking at stuff, trying on stuff, and then buying nothing. That’s a great day right there. When guys shop, it’s an in and out situation. Go there to get what you need, and if it’s not on sale then go to Marshalls. This poor fella was in a seven story mall. That alone is ground for suicide.

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The bottom line is that men and women just shouldn’t be around each other when they shop. That’s like asking your wife to sit with you and your buddies in a room for five hours while you talk about your fantasy football teams. BORING. Women like to shop, and I totally get that. Just keep it a female endeavor and leave the menfolk at home. Coming from someone who got kicked out of his own wedding registry after 20 minutes, I can assure you this is better for all parties involved. As for this newly single woman, her next shopping spree will apparently be for caskets. Never change China. Never change.

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2 Comment(s)
  • woah.....
    October 13, 2015 at 11:43 pm

    cmon?!?!?!?!!!

  • Blong
    December 13, 2013 at 4:21 am

    B-

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