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Apparently there’s a group called the “Parents Television Council” that polices the boob-tube to make sure that nothing is ever offensive. They’re a “Christian” group that spends all day hating everything that’s funny. Because it’s not enough for them to just switch the channel and watch something that doesn’t make them butthurt. They have to make sure everyone else doesn’t have a good time while they’re at it. Most recently they’ve demanded that AMC do something about the legendary season opening episode of The Walking Dead:

If you didn’t see it, Negan kills Abraham, then when he gets punched in the face by Daryl he also kills Glenn as punishment. And although these were two of the best characters on the show, it was amazing:

Of course these are just actors and their brains weren’t really bashed in. Because TV isn’t real. Adults know that. Adults also know that kids aren’t supposed to watch shows like that. Obviously. Just don’t tell that to Tim Winter and the Parents Television Council, who crafted this statement:

“Last night’s season premiere of The Walking Dead was one of the most graphically violent shows we’ve ever seen on television, comparable to the most violent of programs found on premium cable networks,” PTC president Tim Winter said Monday. “It’s not enough to ‘change the channel,’ as some people like to advocate, because cable subscribers — regardless of whether they want AMC or watch its programming — are still forced to subsidize violent content. This brutally explicit show is a powerful demonstration of why families should have greater control over the TV networks they purchase from their cable and satellite providers.”

Newsflash morons – if your kids are watching The Walking Dead with you, then your parenting skills need work. Because it’s not a show for kids. Everyone knows that.

This is Tim Winter:

That right there is the face of an oppressed man who watches a lot of porn. These guys always end up being the kinkiest mother fuckers in the room. You simply cannot go through life enforcing these rules if you don’t secretly love breaking them.

“It’s not enough to change the channel.”

That quote right there says it all. Why should he watch one of the hundreds of other channels? He wants to watch this one. Everyone else should adjust what they’re doing, not him. He won’t rest until everyone else is as miserable as he is.

Here’s the funny part. According to the Parents Television Council’s Wikipedia page they rate shows on a scale of one to offensive. All the good shows are on their naughty list. All of the shows on the good list suck, except for Sunday Night Football. Ya got that? A game in which real, live, grown men violently smash their bodies into each other at full speed, and thus shorten their lifespans and drastically increase their chances for horrific injuries, is on their approved list. But a show that features actors pretending to be involved in graphic and violent situations is not approved. Makes sense.

The scary part is that they actually have influence. Their organized campaign of complaints harassment have directly led to TV stations being fined hundreds of millions of dollars by the FCC since 2004. The PC police is ruining America, and it’s time to stand our ground. I want my TV as raunchy and offensive as possible. The Walking Dead is the arguably the best show on TV right now. I will not let these assholes take it from me.

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