Pat Mahomes’ Stupid, Attention Starved Girlfriend Made Her Sick UPS Driver Come Into Work To Deliver Her A Package Because She Couldn’t Wait Until 8 PM


Pat Mahomes stupid, attention craving “influencer” girlfriend Brittany Matthews lied for attention after claiming that she was harassed by Patriots fans two weeks ago in Foxboro.

Now she’s lying about other things.


I don’t know what’s worse – if she’s lying, or if she’s telling the truth.

If she’s lying then it’s just another standard, “look at me” post from a woman who’s only claim to fame is dating a professional athlete.

If she’s telling the truth it means she’s so entitled that she calls up her UPS driver, knowing that he’s home sick, because she has shit to do and doesn’t wanna wait for the package.

Actually, the latter is way worse.

Of course if she had a job she’d know what a shitty thing that is to do, but instead she posts her pyramid scheme bullshit and pretends like everything she has isn’t 100% because of the fact that she’s dating the reigning NFL MVP.



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83 Comment(s)
  • GetOffTheStage
    December 25, 2019 at 2:02 pm

    Why are you the only one posting stories? Did the rest of your staff quit or get paying jobs?

  • Ronald Mac
    December 25, 2019 at 6:42 am

    Blacks live to date white douchebags
    No matter how ugly fat skinny ugly as sin
    Makes no difference
    Looky here I got me a white bitch

    • Cold as Ice
      December 25, 2019 at 1:12 pm

      Sounds like Eldridge Cleaver’s infamous book “Soul on Ice” (1998). Seeing your comment, I’ve decided to re-read it again after many years.

      • Correx
        December 25, 2019 at 3:09 pm

        Correction: Soul on Ice was published in 1968, written in 1965.

  • Finn
    December 24, 2019 at 9:01 pm

    I’d fuck her if I wasn’t into black dicks

    • Who cares ???
      December 25, 2019 at 3:22 am

      i don’t know what’s worse the article talking about this junk or the ratchet tuna flap entitle bitch this article about her is trash just as much as she is who cares sheesh

  • Deformed Skull
    December 24, 2019 at 8:25 pm

    BIRD FACED BITCH and Skeleton stunt double. She looks like a crack head with a hooker jacket Bony Ass Bitch with a deformed head.

  • Where's the Tow Truck Girl?
    December 24, 2019 at 6:43 pm

    For that matter, what happened to the Tow Truck Girl and her pimp? Are they in the slammer for the holidays? I thought Rachel Rollins closed the jails and prisons for the holidays and hopes to close them all permanently.

  • ?
    December 24, 2019 at 5:51 pm

    What happened to all of the Turtle girls who used to write stories?

  • Cheesmo
    December 24, 2019 at 5:22 pm

    I would say she’s to ugly to fuck but what do I know I love cock.

    • Dick Puller
      December 25, 2019 at 6:28 am

      fucking homo

  • Your uncle lost his job
    December 24, 2019 at 5:06 pm

    Poor girl had to be among the many pedojew’s in jew England. TB included.

  • Cheesemo
    December 24, 2019 at 4:28 pm

    She brings up a good point
    I’m going to get my trash pickup mans cell number
    That way if they’re late I can call and say get the fuck over here

    What a phony cunt

  • Vinnie T
    December 24, 2019 at 4:24 pm

    I’ll bet she’s stealing the negroes money
    I’ll bet she’s a beard
    He looks like a queer

  • Cheesmo
    December 24, 2019 at 4:21 pm

    I’d fuck her up the ass then never call her again
    An ugly cunt

  • randiguy2006
    December 24, 2019 at 2:37 pm

    Slow news day?

  • Rex Ryan
    December 24, 2019 at 1:29 pm

    Would love to see what shes packing under those leopard
    Doc Martens.

    December 24, 2019 at 12:09 pm


  • Vinnie T
    December 24, 2019 at 11:30 am

    Big nose small tits
    But she’s got a big mouth that could blow a fire hydrant

  • I am Nubian
    December 24, 2019 at 10:24 am

    She just loves herself some Nubian.

    • My Name Is Marty And I Am An Alcoholic
      December 24, 2019 at 11:43 pm

      Undercover Mahty likes nubian dick too.

  • pigfucker
    December 24, 2019 at 10:09 am


  • Cheesemo
    December 24, 2019 at 8:54 am

    This is total bullshit
    How would you have the UPS drivers phone number
    Plus UPS doesn’t not deliver a package because a driver didn’t show up

    • BFF
      December 24, 2019 at 9:19 am

      I have my UPS drivers’ phone number. It’s not impossible to get. Just have to have a friendship with the driver. Get on good terms, tip them at Christmas time, throw them a scratch ticket once in awhile, and they will give it to you. Treat them like they are your personal courier you will never get it.

      • Cheesmo
        December 24, 2019 at 11:33 am

        BFF your totally full of shit
        But while I’ve got you please thank your mother for eating out my asshole last night

        • BFF
          December 24, 2019 at 3:53 pm

          What a loser comment. Should try some new material. My mother died a few years ago so she definitely didn’t eat anything of yours last night. Nor would she ever consider you as a potential butt munch.

          • nick Hearse
            December 26, 2019 at 7:35 pm

            post pictures of her corpse , cause I don’t believe you.
            dirty slut

  • better than you lowlifes from masshole
    December 24, 2019 at 2:44 am

    lots of negativity on this one,like all you guys here all have a 10 for girlfriend,look in the mirror dirtbags

    • Go to bed Patrick.
      December 24, 2019 at 3:02 am

      You can do better.

    • dowen0895
      Dick Scratcher
      December 24, 2019 at 4:27 am

      No. She’s a swanky, entitled slag.
      And a 7 at best.
      Still would, of course.

      Now, off you fuck. The adults are talking.

      • hartf811
        Hart Ford
        December 24, 2019 at 7:21 am

        7? Dick you’ve been scratching too hard.

    • You know, you're right
      December 24, 2019 at 10:43 am

      Your mama is my girlfriend and she is only a 4.

  • Pro Rape
    December 24, 2019 at 2:16 am

    Would! Just weighed myself before and after and it’s official… I emptied six pounds of cum out of my body staring at this chick! WOULD!

    • Pro Rape
      December 24, 2019 at 7:28 am

      I also want to add, my Mom is going to be giving blowies, compliments of the holidays, today behind the dumpsters at the Auburn Mall, if any guys would like to swing by after shopping.

      The blacker the better.

      Just my way of saying thanks this time of year.

    • Pro Rape
      December 25, 2019 at 12:05 am


  • ChipChipperson
    December 24, 2019 at 1:15 am

    Like most people, I have home phone numbers for all service workers I interact with.

  • Ted Bundys VW
    December 24, 2019 at 1:03 am


  • Calm WhiteDad
    December 23, 2019 at 11:28 pm

    Maybe Pat is AFRAID to break up with her? With her personality disorder, anything is possible. She’s not going to go away quietly and he’s just putting it off.

    By all accounts, she’s the least attractive skinny 24 year old blond I’ve seen. There is no reason for him to keep this girl. Her personality/type it’s just gross.

    And ya, he’s definitely gay.

  • Terrell Suggs
    December 23, 2019 at 11:13 pm

    She gave me a great rusty trombone.
    So I poured bleach on her.

  • Girth Brooks
    December 23, 2019 at 9:31 pm

    Jesus, she even looks like an unbearable cunt trumpet. Mahomes looks like a kid compared to her, and she looks middle aged by comparison.

  • Where all da white women at
    December 23, 2019 at 8:27 pm

    I mean you know Mahomes just got with her so he could add a white girl notch to his bedpost…..dude your famous and gonna be rich soon…..there are millions of white girls who will do you now…..

    You don’t have to be stuck with this one

  • Stunt Penis
    December 23, 2019 at 8:21 pm

    Tough face, but decent body…. gotta admit, I’d probably hit it.

    • Ted Kennedy
      December 23, 2019 at 9:32 pm

      Body like a little kid. Skinny to the point of junkie looking with negative tits and ass. That’s a hard no from me Even if I didn’t have to drive her home over that troublesome bridge.

  • Basic Becky At Best
    December 23, 2019 at 7:52 pm

    Her instagram page is hilarious. She poses at the gym and looks like a little pre pubescent boy. She is very impressed with herself and is an embarrassment to her boyfriend. She should quietly go away

  • Who Flung Cum
    December 23, 2019 at 6:46 pm

    Probably her gingivitis cream, or maybe her industrial-size water pic.

    My money is Mahomes queer. Aaron Hernandez had his HS Slampig at home too. Turns out he was gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys..

  • Fred Knessl
    December 23, 2019 at 6:37 pm

    Gawd, what a Vapid Cunt

  • Daniel Crowell
    Lance Bolt
    December 23, 2019 at 6:35 pm

    Skinny girls have big pussies…

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    December 23, 2019 at 6:19 pm

    Imagine being so hollow and soulless that you have to glom on to someone famous to feel like you are someone?

    Not to mention she probably has no work experience or skills, so when this all falls apart she’ll be giving gum jobs behind a dumpster to stay alive.

    Enjoy it now sweetie. It’ll burn out like a spark in the wind…..

  • Couch Fart
    December 23, 2019 at 6:12 pm

    Run Patrick Run

  • TB 12 Wouldn’t Bang That
    December 23, 2019 at 6:06 pm

    I hate gummy toothy bitches. She could kill a hard on quick.

  • Debbie McCallister
    December 23, 2019 at 5:43 pm

    Brittany is the oldest looking 24 year old I’ve ever seen! Slow down on the whorish looking make-up and eat a damn cheeseburger! Mahomes your girlfriend, WOOF!

    • Mahomes May Trade Ip If He Ever Wins A SUPER BOWL
      December 23, 2019 at 7:31 pm

      Bitch has mojor neck wrinkles already plus crows feet already starting. As the late great John Silber said for most women its all down hill after 25. This girl looks late 30s in face already.

      • SRM
        December 24, 2019 at 9:24 am

        The key to staying Wrinkle free is Stay out of the sun,drink plenty of water, and layoff the alcohol.
        Most importantly be kind,humble and considerate of others.
        This chick will be dust in the wind in 2 years at the rate she’s going.
        Sad she should be advancing his career by doing charity work in his name and giving gifts to children at Christmas Not promoting herself.
        She could learn a lot from from Framingham PD.

  • Dam she ugly
    December 23, 2019 at 5:41 pm

    Damn Patrick…’s really time to trade up man….you’re the reigning MVP of the NFL and your walking around with this buttaface….have some respect dude

    • Here’s A Salt Lick
      December 23, 2019 at 8:36 pm

      Seriously! A Spensah 5. A Fall Rivah 6. Tops. Whatcha doin’ with that, Pat?

      • hartf811
        December 24, 2019 at 7:24 am

        At least she is not a beaner with no eyebrows and a big caboose.

  • I am Small and I hate it!
    December 23, 2019 at 4:55 pm

    There is NO way Unc’s wife even looks close to this horse faced good digger. Come on, Unc’s wife has gotta be a piece of work. What type of woman is attracted to small, repugnant, and insecure pud who has assumed the identity of a loser? Looks into the mirror as he assesses his micro wee wee “You even wrote a book about it…..I am Turtle Boy!” Haaaa!

    • Well?
      December 23, 2019 at 5:01 pm

      Which story was about you. We want to read it again

    • Vape Vag
      December 23, 2019 at 5:07 pm

      Probably Amanda again.

  • r0b
    December 23, 2019 at 4:53 pm


  • Rosie O'Donnells Stunt Penis
    December 23, 2019 at 4:23 pm


  • Have a Sandwich
    December 23, 2019 at 4:13 pm

    She should post something about her eating disorder and unquenchable desire for attention. I’m sure her boyfriend isn’t fucking any other broads that are actually attractive either
    Where does she find those awful outfits she wears? Is she blind too?

  • Sy
    December 23, 2019 at 4:06 pm

    If she’s all THAT important, she shouldn’t be sailing so close to the wind ordering cheap shit to wear to dinner galas off the internet.

  • Bed Bath and way beyond
    December 23, 2019 at 3:58 pm

    I was wondering who stole my pink bathroom mat.

  • Lake Flaccid
    December 23, 2019 at 3:53 pm

    I can’t wait to watch her BBC gangbang porno clip after Mahomes kicks her ass to the curb next year.

  • Deval Patricks Scrotum
    December 23, 2019 at 3:35 pm

    Mahomes will lose this attention starved,self absorbed nitwit
    sooner than later.It wont end well for her.I predict she will OD
    on bath salts and be arrested for cannibalizing Johnny Manziels
    lifeless corpse in a Des Moines Iowa Motel 6.

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    December 23, 2019 at 3:30 pm

    “If I could work my will, every idiot who goes about with ‘Merry Christmas’ on his lips should be boiled with his own pudding and buried with a stake of holly through his heart.”

  • Crispy C
    December 23, 2019 at 3:21 pm

    A UPS driver just went viral the other day. She needed to pile on to the heap for attention.

    The worst part of these social media influencers is that they are so goddamn unoriginal. They just find the latest hashtag or viral thing and try to make it relevant to themselves. This bitch can’t drink Draino fast enough.

    • Clusters boy toy
      December 24, 2019 at 4:19 pm

      Leave Liz warren out of this,
      Tho she’d be a better match for the chief boy bumper.

  • Gruntled
    December 23, 2019 at 2:48 pm

    What kind of package would she need before 8pm? I’m guessing the event is made up, the package is made up, and everything about her is made up. Fake ass ho.

    • Choochoo
      December 25, 2019 at 2:56 pm

      She needed fresh hair extensions to try and cover up her fugly.

  • Garcia Vega
    December 23, 2019 at 2:25 pm

    Never happened, first, unless she’s sleeping with the guy, there’s no way she has his number. Second, UPS would discipline the shit out of this guy for doing that. It’s a bullshit story. Wish UPS called her out on it. Even worse, if they look up the regular driver, they will hang him for something he didn’t do. The big loser here is the regular driver…

  • She Sucks
    December 23, 2019 at 2:21 pm

    She has zero sex appeal and doesn’t even look like someone that’s fun to be around. There’s a reason she has all those pictures oh herself alone.

  • Spic Tormentor
    December 23, 2019 at 2:03 pm

    She isn’t even attractive. I used to fuck Lanky sluts like her with gums like jersey barriers.

    Mahomes looks like someone used their own shit to draw a portrait of sideshow Bob.

  • Turtlefund
    December 23, 2019 at 2:03 pm

    “Of course if she had a job she’d know what a shitty thing that is to do, but instead she posts her pyramid scheme bullshit”

    Donate to the Turtle Free Speech Fund for more quality weekday content like this.

  • eugene
    December 23, 2019 at 1:53 pm

    UPS driver isn’t going to go clock in to deliver one package,UPS won’t allow that to be done.How does she have his phone number at home? Whole story is BS.

    • Lipstickhippie
      Quid Pro Quo
      December 23, 2019 at 2:07 pm

      I’m about 1000% sure this lying skank made it worth his while. Suck job, anyone?

  • Reverend Al Poverty Pimp Sharpton
    December 23, 2019 at 1:51 pm

    I am OUTRAGED! Where is my cut!

  • ace
    December 23, 2019 at 1:45 pm

    Turtle Dude, don’t you realize what a petty little jealous bitch you look like by blogging about this kind of crap? Guess not…

    • UPS Driver
      December 23, 2019 at 2:46 pm

      This is real news that people want. Calling out these dykes is what this site was built on. No way this happened because first of all that package would have been on a truck somewhere out for delivery and no way a driver would go into another drivers truck and even find a package that wasn’t near the delivery time. Also, if he was out sick, then he wouldn’t be working (union bullshite) but UPS drivers often use up sick days even when they aren’t sick. If it’s Brown, flush it down. UPS sucks anyway.

  • Joe Blow
    December 23, 2019 at 1:44 pm

    She probably sucked him off or something, no way I would be delivering a package on my day off unless I knew I would be jamming my cock down her throat.

  • Planet Of The Apes
    December 23, 2019 at 1:44 pm

    Filthy Mudshark

  • Michael S Goodman
    December 23, 2019 at 1:43 pm

    How can anyone put up with these useless high-maintenance bitches?

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