Pat Mahomes Stupid Self-Important Girlfriend And Brother Made Up A Story About Being Moved By Gillette Security For Her Safety Because Patriots Fans Were Mean To Her


Everyone who knows anything about anything knows that the Patriots got hosed on Sunday. This is what it takes to beat us in Foxboro:

They made so many bad calls that we ran out of challenges, even though one of our two challenges was overturned. So basically the refs can fuck up an infinite amount of times, but you can only overturn the first two. This is a system that makes sense. But whatever, shit happens. We’re on to Cincinnati, we’re not losing to the same team twice in one year, and it took al those calls for them to beat us. There is no doubt in my mind we win easily in a rematch against the Ravens, Chiefs, or Texans. Eventually Brady will be too old to do this and the dynasty will collapse in flames, but this ain’t the year. God loves us more.

Anyway, Patrick Mahomes apparently has a stupid girlfriend who gets a blue checkmark for dating someone who’s good at throwing a football. And last night she self-victimized herself with the fakest “Boston fans are mean” tweets since Adam Jones made up a lie that he was called the n word at Fenway Park.

Yea, that’s what happened.

“Attention Patriots fans – let’s all come together to collectively harass this random blonde woman, who is obviously so famous that I recognize her as the opposing quarterback’s girlfriend, and his goofus brother.”

Anyone who’s ever been to Gillette stadium or Fenway Park knows how milquetoast the crowd is. These are people who sing Sweet Caroline when the Red Sox are losing by 10 runs. There is a 0.0% chance that ever happened. No one in New England has any clue who she is, nor do they care. She just made it up because victimizing yourself at Boston sports events is all the rage these days. I’m honestly shocked she didn’t play the race card.

No one in that stadium knew who she was before she came in. Literally not a soul. But she’s one of these chicks who makes it know why you should know who she is based on her outfit.

I’m embarrassed for him.

In other words, she came in there telling Patriots fans that she’s his girlfriend, they told her he sucked, and she whined about it on social media. Don’t worry though, no one ever does that to opposing fans at Arrowhead.

She whine tweeted the entire game.

Oh, you mean a fan of the visiting team was told to sit down by angry fans of the home town who were losing the entire game? That’s so out of the ordinary!!

Then she said that Patriots fans threatened to call security on them.

I’ll take things that never happened for $500 Alex.

Then there was this lie.

Oh right, Gillette security was watching you on surveillance video and saw that fans were giving you the business, so they swooped in to save you and move you to new seats. That’s what they do.

Before the game even started she was pre-empting all of this drama by posting “I’m here and these fans will NEVER keep me away.”

As if anyone in New England gives a flying fuck about you to try to keep you away. Again, we have no idea who you are.

She’s one of those chicks who instead of watching the game she’s on her phone the entire time.

She’s a girl AND she likes sports!! Best girlfriend ever!!

Then there was quite possibly the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard out of a blonde woman.

Yea, because winning 6 Super Bowls by the age of 42 is something all good quarterbacks do. Like Aaron Rodgers, Peyton Manning, and Drew Brees, who have a combined 4. Imagine your idiotic girlfriend who doesn’t know when to shut up made a guarantee that you would win as many Super Bowls as Tom Brady? Looks like his goofus brother agreed.

Yea, it’s a new era/decade. Tom Brady was so last decade. Oh wait, he won last year, and two years before that, and two years before that. Meanwhile Pat Mahomes has never made a Super Bowl because he can’t get through Tom Brady.

The amount of pleasure these amateurs are taking in a regular season win is so Kansas City it hurts.

One game. They won one game.

Seriously, I used to think Pat Mahomes was going to win multiple Super Bowls after Brady retires, but based on his choice in women I’m starting to doubt that now. People who pose for pictures like this on IG don’t win Super Bowls.


Were you at the game? Did you witness any of this alleged harassment or lack thereof? If so feel free to shoot me an email at

P.S. Does she know professional athletes have women who throw themselves at them in every city they go to? Or is that why he brings her along for road trips? Girlfriends don’t get half, she better marry him soon.



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44 Comment(s)
  • FALcons4LifE
    January 21, 2020 at 9:52 pm

    How do you believe the author of this article. He does not have evidence or anything that proves she lied. And just cause a patriots fan say something different from what she said, it doesn’t me he is right either. So don’t call her or his brother stupid.

  • soxrock191
    December 12, 2019 at 1:23 am

    -she is illiterate
    -she has no idea how to dress
    -she’s got a face only a mother could love
    -she is delusional
    -she is possessed. Or possessive.

  • Stinky the Finger
    December 10, 2019 at 4:24 pm

    It looks like someone used this woman’s face as shield in a shit fight.

  • Bill Clinton
    December 10, 2019 at 1:02 pm

    tough face but has a nice body that could be entertaining to indulge in for a couple of weeks before its time to move on to something else. guess it depends on how much effort she’s willing to put into it. I’d definitely like to watch her try to squeeze her little quivering balloon knot nice and tight while she carries my protein enema to the ladies room for processing.

  • Jewoven
    December 10, 2019 at 12:24 pm

    The patriots are owned by a diddling Jew oh yeah it’s TB he has the same issue.

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    December 10, 2019 at 10:36 am

    Check out her Facebook page. It mentions a college but no work history to be found

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    December 10, 2019 at 10:30 am

    This chick has probably never done anything useful in her life and makes a living fucking sports stars and celebrities and thinks because she’s dating one that she is important too.

    Love to see her resume. Other than a high school Dunkin Donuts gig, it’s probably blank

  • Hank Himmler
    December 10, 2019 at 10:28 am

    Is Mahomes a black fella? I’m really not sure.

    In any event, that Sideshow Bob hair is a touch silly.

  • Dees nutz
    December 10, 2019 at 9:28 am

    Anyone else notice she’s a white chick with a black women’s gums?! All I’m saying

  • What's more gay
    December 10, 2019 at 9:26 am

    What’s more gay? The 23 year old girlfriend of a quarterback wearing a homemade jean jacket with her boyfriends name on the back and glitter stars or a 35 year old guy from Dorchester who wears a Brady jersey and Patriots sweat pants every day?

      December 10, 2019 at 9:44 am

      That jacket is SO fucking corney. Horse mouth deserves a kick in the cunt for wearing it in public.

  • Rockets Redglare
    December 10, 2019 at 8:59 am

    Another day another Barstool rip off. Given without credit no less.
    The officials stole this game! Funny coming from a team that gets more BS calls than all other teams combined. Tom Brady, aka the “Porcelain Princess” cries if a defender is within 3 feet of him.
    As for why the Pat’s lost, start with your quarterback whose stats put him in the bottom half of all NFL QB’s.
    ” God loves us more” unless your playing a team with mobile, two threat QB’s.
    I’d love to see Jizzell seating in the stands in Philly rooting for Tommy boy…

    • Richard Sherman
      December 10, 2019 at 9:29 am

      You Mad Bro?

  • They're just Kids
    December 10, 2019 at 8:10 am

    You do realize they are just kids right?
    She’s a goofy college aged girl behaving like one and I say good for them, I can’t imagine what it’s like to be as talented and wealthy as Mahomes at such a young age and he seems like an all around nice enough kid.
    p.s. Hey buddy, any chance some of the old writers will be coming back? What happened to the girls that used to write here?

  • Hart Ford
    December 10, 2019 at 5:22 am

    Gold digger mudshark
    Nuff said

  • ChipChipperson
    December 10, 2019 at 12:57 am

    “dating an accomplished man means I’m accomplished too! Tee hee!”

  • Luke Fondleberg (Deez/Doze)
    Luke Fondleberg
    December 10, 2019 at 12:31 am

    Guy I work with pointed this out: Mahomes sounds exactly like Kermit the Frog. Close your eyes and listen when his terrible commercial comes on. It’s a blast back to childhood watching PBS.

    • Uncle hitler
      December 10, 2019 at 12:48 am

      The rapetriots are owned by a Jewish diddler so he’s smart. Must of been a lot of pedojew’s and maybe a TB there. Smart guy never trust a gas headed Jew.

  • Ginzu Cracker
    December 9, 2019 at 11:19 pm

    I’ve lost all respect for Pat Mahomes. If I was he and saw a “QB of the QB” team shirt worn by this zit, I would have done a Kareem hunt on her ass and been banging cheerleaders 2 x 2 by midnight. Also, lmao, if she thinks this dude isn’t gettin pussy at all away games and probably some home games, she’s retarded. Either that, or he’s actually Patrick MaHomo.

  • AngryWhiteDad
    December 9, 2019 at 11:18 pm

    This girl is barely a 6. I have literally fucked hotter girls and I’m no prize.

    Why would Mahomes even waste his time with such a plain white girl? She’s ugly and her body lacks a favorable asset other than being skinny.

    She sounds like an annoying bitch and doesn’t have the physical features to make that tolerable. Something’s not right here…..


  • Rod Ramsey
    December 9, 2019 at 10:56 pm

    reminds me of a certain fraud we’re all familiar with…

  • Lake Flaccid
    December 9, 2019 at 10:39 pm

    Another attention seeking cum guzzling whore. Mahomes will be upgrading his ‘tang once he signs his next contract.

  • Jeff J
    Fugly Mofos
    December 9, 2019 at 10:23 pm

    1st of all she looks like an anorexic meth addict. Geesh…. with the sunken face and all. Secondly, good thing he can play professional sports because otherwise that ugly fuck would be shacked up with the neighborhood cheesehog only. They’re both pretty hard to look at. Finally, Unc, you can take that “god loves us more” bullshit and shove it straight up your ass. You kept saying that stupid line when the Bruins were “gonna win it all” and we all know how that worked out.

  • Got her!
    December 9, 2019 at 10:11 pm

    Yes you are right. Her life must suck. She’ll never have any advantages.

  • Spic Tormentor
    December 9, 2019 at 10:11 pm

    Now that suggs is out of the league, mahomes is by far the ugliest mother fucker in the league. So it’s no surprise that his girl is busted.

    I used to fuck ugly sluts like her and then tell them their gash smelled and to never call me.

    • Batman
      December 10, 2019 at 7:30 am

      Suggs is employed by the Arizona cardinals, sadly. Biggest pos in the league.

  • Her Hair Dresser
    December 9, 2019 at 9:59 pm

    I hope she never gets caught in a rainstorm in public. She will look like a drowned rat

  • Biggest Gums Ever
    December 9, 2019 at 9:56 pm

    With all the money he’s making you’d think he would feed that skinny, big gummed and terrible hair extensions wearing twat. Her parents must be so very proud.

  • Tony Romo
    December 9, 2019 at 9:43 pm

    I’ll take a spin after he’s done with her.

  • The Dahminator
    December 9, 2019 at 9:36 pm

    Let’s go Blues!!! Let’s watch a rematch of the fantastic Blues Bruins game 7. St. Louis here. Love your blog Turtleboy. I wish we had the same to deal with our corrupt St. Louis city government. They’d all be in prison by the time you got done with them. Wanna franchise?

    • Y
      December 9, 2019 at 9:42 pm

      Next time, split up your comment.
      Dog on the Bs, then beg for admission.
      Until then, STL can go fuck itself.

    • Said Nobody
      December 9, 2019 at 10:02 pm

      St Louis area is beautiful, especially around Ferguson

      • Hate Dindus
        December 10, 2019 at 4:57 am

        Best place to be a cop. They let you hunt blacks. Just walk into the street and start shooting them. 100% legal.

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    Old Tom Morris
    December 9, 2019 at 9:32 pm

    Brittany’s emoji game is tight.

    • Y
      December 9, 2019 at 9:44 pm

      Brittany’s a giant cunt.

    • Mudshark Emojis and Blonde Dreadlocks
      December 9, 2019 at 9:51 pm

      Why does the whitest whitey white-girl I’ve ever seen have “black” hand clapping emojis ? I wonder where she’ll be ten years from now after she’s long been used up, banged out, beaten up, dumped and tossed down into the dog-fighting pit that is his homeboy’s posse?

      • Pornhub Community Standards Team
        December 9, 2019 at 10:37 pm

        Porn. She’ll be doing porn.

      • Hate Dindus
        December 10, 2019 at 4:59 am


  • Who Flung Cum
    December 9, 2019 at 9:30 pm

    You want to know what blows my mind? Young talented athletes getting into relationships and/or marriage before they’re 30. Where’s this guys drunk uncle to explain how EPIC it would be to crush pussy all over the planet while making millions? Joe Namath, buy his book. Read it. Jesus…

  • Clemmy
    December 9, 2019 at 9:29 pm

    Oh bull fuck! I was just starting to take a shine to Mahomes before this as well. By the looks of them, they can BOTH do better. I hope she gets showed up to be the lying, basic, airhead white bitch she is. And all those shitty calls? They hate us ’cause they ain’t us!

  • Unkle Buck
    December 9, 2019 at 9:16 pm

    Patriot fans are assholes! Drunk, obnoxious and worse when they all get together.

    • Shut Up Annoying Girlfriend
      December 9, 2019 at 9:30 pm

      Jets fan? Or any other team for than matter. She is annoying as shit and not attractive in the least. I hope Patrick had a broad in every city he plays in that he bangs the shit out of because she is lame and looks like she is 11 years old

    • Y
      December 9, 2019 at 9:44 pm

      Uncle Buck hasn’t seen his dick since his 16th birthday, and here’s a quarter, fuck face.

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