People Are Pissed At Charlton Police Department For Satirical Form For Drug Dealers

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The level of stupidity that exists in our society never ceases to amaze Turtleboy. The other day the Charlton Police Department put this form on their Facebook pageurging drug dealers to come forward to report competitor drug dealers who are cutting into their profits:


Ahhh yes, I get it. Very amusing. Now any normal person looks at this and realizes that it’s obviously “tongue in cheek.” Clearly the Charlton Police Department does not expect to be flooded with forms from drug dealers hoping to drive their competitors out of business.

First of all, towns like Charlton have their fair share of drug problems, but they’re not exactly the drug dealers you see in all the movies. Mostly it’s kids going through their parents medicine cabinets and taking those pills you never finished when you had a hernia surgery back in 98. That’s how it starts until they get over their fear of the needle and realize that heroin does the exact same thing except for a much more reasonable price than the kid in your 6th period English class is charging for his parents painkillers.

But it’s a funny, harmless little form that MAYBE, just MAYBE some dumbass out there will be foolish enough to fill out. Probably not, but what the heck? Even if it doesn’t work at least it’s good fodder.

I assumed we all understood what the purpose of this was, but I forgot that unfortunately America is filled with brilliant scholars who can’t help but express themselves on the Internet. First there were the people who don’t understand blatant satire:

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Yea, that’s exactly what they’re gonna do. When someone fills out one of these forms on your grandmother, they’re gonna send the SWAT Team in there, no questions asked. That’s what’s gonna happen. Hopefully they will reconsider now that you’ve brought this up.

Then there was the “why are we helping the police” crowd:

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The only thing funnier than some genius on the Internet who thinks “God forsakes” is a thing people say, is when 15 people like it. You gotta love these people’s view of reality. Cops should magically fight crime without any help from the community. If you see something, don’t tell the cops. They should have to figure it out on their own like it’s a level 5 sudoku. In the meantime criminals can run wild. Because….fuck the police!!

Then there was the “this could have dangerous consequences” crowd:

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Ummmm, yea. Have you lovely ladies ever been to Charlton? The biggest drug dealer in C-Town is CVS. It’s pretty much impossible to live in Charlton and be a legitimate bad ass. Yes, people do own guns in Charlton, but those who do have licenses to carry, don’t hold their guns sideways, and use them for killing deer, not other drug dealers. Just like any small town there are suburban kids in these communities who fancy themselves “gangstas” because they loosely use the “n” word on social media. They pose no immediate threat to the community though and are only here for our amusement.

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Then there was this guy:

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Yea…..that’s the joke Hess – they’re hoping someone is dumb enough to fill out this form. SMH. Poor guy.

Then there were the ones who don’t think police should double as entertainers:

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She sounds like she’s fun to be around at parties. Don’t tell her about the Bridgewater Police Twitter page!!

And I’m not quite sure what the hell my girl Jeanne is talking about:

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Oh snap!!! She’s right. The Charlton Police clearly meant for this form to be kept hidden and secretive. That’s why they shared it on their Facebook page. Because no one ever goes on Facebook.


And now for something completely different:

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OK then.

The bottom line is, props to the Charlton Police Department for having a sense of humor. Turtleboy thought it was funny, even if Internet blowhards didn’t. The only thing that would be funnier is if people actually started filling these things out. Until then, good luck trying to find out who burned down that wine farm.

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18 Comment(s)
  • nany chang
    August 7, 2015 at 10:27 am

    I think this was very funny. Maybe drug dealers won’t use it to rat but i think they should use it for everyday citizens who are aware of drug dealers. Sometimes cops can’t catch onto everything.. like the drug dealers who builds a 450,000 house with no job…. what about the ones who change their cars every few months… but are taking money from the state. Citizens could actually help. Snitch or not we need to start keeping our communities safe.

  • sandman
    August 6, 2015 at 2:32 pm

    The people that get their panties in a bunch over this (freaking obviously) satire so need to get a grip, I mean really? !

  • Jack
    August 6, 2015 at 9:56 am

    Saw it online and thought it was dumb. Small townish and only in Charlton. Not even funny one percent !

  • strata
    August 6, 2015 at 9:55 am

    I love social media … it gives people a forum to show their true colors. And I especially like white boys that dress gangsta. we’ve gone from Greatest GENERATION to the “Most self centered, self absorbed, entitlement-minded, not too bright but arrogant just the same” GENERATION.

  • Nanny
    August 6, 2015 at 8:53 am

    Been on this planet for nearly 43 years. Human beings’ capacity for stupidity never ceases to amaze.

  • Adam
    August 6, 2015 at 8:40 am

    The term cop is actually an acronym which stands for “Citizen On Patrol.” This was described to me by the officer who guest lectured at driver’s ed class, 16 years ago. There shouldn’t be a solid and defined line between citizens and police, it is a community effort to keep a community safe. That’s the whole point. The “fuck the police” attitude is what created the “blue line,” not the other way around. It’s time for people to remember exactly what the police are there for and how to be a proactive member of a community.

    • MS
      August 6, 2015 at 10:48 am

      Wrong, they were originally called coppers due to copper buttons on jackets and it got shortened to cop

      • oneopinion
        August 6, 2015 at 9:10 pm

        The word “cop” came out before the Police Academy movies? Now I know.

  • Spankster
    August 6, 2015 at 8:32 am

    What bothers me the most is the improper verbiage, piss-poor syntax and general ignorance of the English language. In other words. What a bunch of dumb asses

  • WormtownorBust
    August 6, 2015 at 7:42 am

    Charlton PD are good guys.

  • Areyouserious?
    August 6, 2015 at 7:40 am

    You should fill it out 20 times for the top 20 hippies. Use the Mosaic address and contact info.

  • WTF.. Worcester
    August 6, 2015 at 7:29 am

    Two things:

    1) This form of “snitching” works in NYC. Street dealers do work with cops to snitch out their competition. Not on a high level (pun intended), but little no names. Cops give that person a break and arrest the other dealers. Usually it is small time snitching, but sometimes leads to high level arrests.

    2) I live in Webster. Webster posted this to their Webster Residents Forum Facebook and everyone, literally everyone in Webster took this form serously. THEY WANTED WEBSTER TO FOLLOW CHARLTON! They wanted Webster PD to take the form and use it too! It was hilarious how many subburban white men in their 50s-60s and suburban white moms in their 40s-50s want this form to work!

    Nice blog, it points out the obvious! Sometimes people are just dumb asses. Keep riding!

    • Wabbitt
      August 6, 2015 at 10:07 am

      Little do those oblivious Websterites realize – if drug dealers start snitching on each other, half of their kids are getting arrested.

  • Thornton Melon
    August 6, 2015 at 7:25 am

    To the guy with the doctor Facebook post… that IS what happens in other professions. They advertise and you call them for their service. Does this kid live in a world where doctors come to his house and stick a thermometer up his ass just for the hell of it?

  • Frogshit
    August 6, 2015 at 6:02 am

    When Isaw it yesterday I thought, “Okay, let’s see what kind of freakism this brings.”. Shazammmmm!

  • Noob
    August 6, 2015 at 5:58 am

    Out, out you demon’s of stupidity!

  • Warren Memlib
    August 6, 2015 at 3:24 am


  • Jaime
    August 6, 2015 at 12:51 am

    LOL! I thought it was really funny when it was all over the news this morning. With everything else going on in this state, Country & World we all needed a giggle like this. It’s really sad when people couldn’t even see the humor in the form. If someone actually filled the form out and the Charlton police did happen to nab a big time dealer from it KUDDOs to them for posting it! Now if people would just start relaxing a little and laughing when something is meant as a joke maybe just MAYBE we wouldn’t live in such a cruel world! Laugh a little people, I promise it won’t kill you!

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