Nudniks

Petey Pubestache And Axl Foreclosure Say They’re Suing TB For Hate Speech Because Desk Girl Sexually Harassed Him And Outed Him For Being In The Autistic Gay Mafia

 

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After publishing the blog about Petey Pubestache’s pathetic and contradictory whining about Dunkins forcing employees to work without hazard pay while also complaining that they’re not open late enough to get a lemon water, Petey Pubes spent the entire day posting about Turtleboy, commenting on our page, and making videos that made it clear he was NOT fucking around.

“ill factual”

“I hope someone beats the shit out of you because you fucking deserve it dude for picking on a mentally disabled autistic gay bro. And outing me on your article with my rainbow thing on my picture. You literally outed me in my article. Nobody needs to fucking know that I’m gay. Like, nobody. And you put that picture on your article.”

“You better shut the fuck up before thumb buddy beaths yo ath.”

It’s not every day you get threatened in a lisp by an unemployed suddenly autistic gay man (don’t worry, he’s not really autistic so it’s OK to mock him for that). No one had any idea he was a bum bandit prior to that video. Where would I ever get that idea from?

He did a follow up too.

“So you better watch you ath man cuz you’re picking on someone who has autism so you better fucking watch it dude. Because…I’m telling you, watch yo back because there’s more of us than you, so you better watch it.”

Oh snap!! Now I got the entire autistic gay mafia after me.

For the record, he literally started at Dunkins less than two weeks ago and was already whining that they weren’t giving him sick days or hazard pay.

Oh, and somehow during that time he’s admitted to spitting in multiple people’s drinks, including his principal from Grafton High School.

He also wants $1,000 a month since he had to register for the draft when he turned 16.

As usual, I offered to let him come on the live show, share his side of the story, express his grievances, call me a kiddie diddling asshole, or whatever ratchets usually do. This is an open platform and all are invited. But he was too much of a bitch ath to come on so his boy Alex Cohen offered too represent him.

 

He came on the live show last night at the 37:30 mark in a vain attempt to make sense and failed miserably.

Axl Foreclose here is apparently in a band or something.

Which is what white losers from the burbs do when it does’t make sense to pursue a rap career. His music is exactly as awful as you imagined it would be.

Anyway, my conversation with Petey Pubestache lasted the entire day and as you will see in our messages he never ended up coming on for the following reasons:

  • He wanted $4,000
  • He accused me of outing him even though he’s openly gay and has gay pride stuff all over his page
  • He doesn’t have any money but he’s hiring an attorney to sue me for hate speech
  • He’s filing a report with the AG
  • He’s upset that I routinely use words that I never use, like fudge packer
  • He’s all of a sudden autistic
  • He wants me to come on his podcast instead
  • I am to blame for mean comments left by anonymous shitposters
  • He said I’m homophobic even though my good friend Matty Mo is gay
  • He might get beat up for being gay
  • This is all Trump’s fault
  • I’m a “breeder” which is a term for heterosexual people since we possess the capacity to reproduce and butt play does not
  • He’s oppressed and making a documentary about it
  • He feels unsafe in his house and has armed himself for turtle rider invasion
  • Even though he’s not working and has nothing to do his “time is money”
  • He has a “becheler’s of science” but can’t keep a job at Dunkins
  • Abi sexually harassed him by telling him he was cute when he messaged the Turtle Boy Sports Forever Facebook page

   

Just another day in the life of the turtle.

 

This episode of The Turtleboy Live show is brought to you by our friends at APC Roofing in Charlton. Like APC Roofing in Charlton on Facebook by clicking here, and be automatically entered to win a pair of Red Sox tickets! There’s nothing they like more than helping their customers protect their home with a quality roof installation.

 

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67 Comment(s)
  • KP
    May 28, 2020 at 7:53 am

    I can’t believe you made it through this entire post without commenting on Petey’s eyebrows. They’re otherworldly.

  • Captain Trips
    March 30, 2020 at 3:58 pm

    The band should be renamed “The Evicted”

    Give it up dude. The 1990’s Satanic screams thing is so over

  • Happy Super Positive TB Comment Guy
    March 30, 2020 at 11:08 am

    Hey Alex Cohen, your band is pretty good – really good musicianship. If I could offer a suggestion, though, break outside your genre, because that’s a dead end street. Check out All Them Witches…

    • Let me google that for you
      March 30, 2020 at 11:15 am

      “All OF Them Witches”

  • "Progressive Libertarian"
    March 30, 2020 at 11:02 am

    There is no such thing.

  • Lee Ho
    March 30, 2020 at 7:56 am

    He doesn’t like being called “fudge packer”.

    I’m going to comply with his wishes, and at the same time be politically correct, for the first time in my life.

    I will now refer to it as a “Vagina Challenged” individual.

  • Dick Scratcher
    March 30, 2020 at 4:10 am

    My fucking eyes!

    This whiny cunt never, ever shuts the fuck up for one second.

    Just desperate to be the fucking victim and blame the whole world for his own bone idleness and the fact he simply doesn’t want to work and makes excuses for his own pathetic failings.

    Petey, off you fuck, you whiny little dickhead.

    DS

  • Jewmerica
    March 30, 2020 at 2:30 am

    He sounds like Turtleboy, wow.

  • Silencio Dogood
    March 29, 2020 at 11:00 pm

    Uncl Tirtlebpy simply pointed out the pathetic nature underlying this child’s perpetual victim status as a Jew, a Gay and phlegm dispenser (his counterpart in China responsible for a pandemic). Be that as it may, Tirtlbpy has some soul searching to do before that simp’s lapdog, Cohen, is sicced on him.

  • Sprinkle Pig
    March 29, 2020 at 10:38 pm

    Jesus Christ I can’t stand these people and by “these people” I mean you’re average gay DD employee of 2 weeks that has no sick days and has the covid 19 that blames everything on Trump for his shitty life with fake autism who doesn’t have any money and expects everyone else to pay so he can sit at home and do nothing kind of people. That’s what I mean by “those people”. Fuck they’re the worst. Hey Forrest grow up kid and take responsibility for your actions cause life is about to get real hard for you. (That’s what she said or he said or ZE said lol) until then fuck right off kid.

  • Hoping Chuck Schumer has a massive stroke
    March 29, 2020 at 10:26 pm

    Forrest,
    I really don’t care that you are gay. You like to gargle the goo?? Good for you! You like to get your hairy little starfish pounded into jello? Outstanding!
    But, what you are is a simpering, whiny, useless excuse for an “adult”.
    How’s about growing a pair, stop your incessant nattering and get a real job.
    That requires putting down the PlayStation, sucking a few less cocks and putting in some effort into something other than hide-the-bologna.
    At that goes for your friend, the long-haired, unwashed,stinky looking Chosenite !
    Get fucked !

  • Hugh Mungous
    March 29, 2020 at 10:24 pm

    Amy Bednarz, Woonsocket teacher willing to pay anyone with coronavirus to cough on President Trump boasting she is a teacher. Uncle needs to take this fucking cunt down big time. Woonsocket once again proving it is the bleached asshole of New England.

  • Wstch It Bro
    March 29, 2020 at 10:08 pm

    I thought being a sodomite was a good thing. The left firces this down our throats everyday.
    Mahty still hasnt cancelled the gay parade so why is this fuckstick concerned about being gay. He acts gay talks gay and looks gay. Hard to imagine that TB outed him.

  • Forrest Foreskin
    March 29, 2020 at 9:54 pm

    I took a school field trip to the Necco candy factory when I was a kid. They employed perhaps 100 “Fudgepackers”, if I remember right they were all women. Forrest if you’re reading this, “Go Fist Yourself”.

  • Harvey Milkme
    March 29, 2020 at 9:50 pm

    Jesus, Forrest is a fucknut! Instead of making a coherent argument about anything he rambles on and on. First he has two projects working, then he has nothing, then he whines about god only knows what. Hey Forrest, shut the fuck up, your not special. Your a lazy piece of shit trying to do the bare minimum to get by and whining when you don’t get your way. Fucktard.

  • Legalize Hunger Games
    March 29, 2020 at 9:33 pm

    There’s so much backwards fucking bullshit from this pube-stached peestain and his friends that I can feel a brain tumor growing just trying to read it. For just ONE thing, why is he posting links that have a rainbow Gadsden flag? Contradictory much? Are you an uphill gardener or a minuteman? Secondly, that Alex Cohen is a hypocritical piece of shit. Talks himself in circles like a cowardly little bitch, claims to be morally outraged and then doesn’t realize how retarded he looks by saying “in three hours, he won’t care anymore”. Can we just ship people that ignorant off to another planet now? And then he has the presence of mind to refer to TB’s discussions as a “sausage circle”? Homophobic and disparaging to male genitals much? FUCK. YOUR. BULLSHIT, Alex.

  • Zidaru
    March 29, 2020 at 9:16 pm

    At least we know he wasn’t sending all those messages while he was at work!

  • Ugh
    March 29, 2020 at 8:50 pm

    TB is a fucking wanker, we all know that. But hey, free speech.

    • Alex DeLarge
      March 29, 2020 at 10:37 pm

      Yet here you are…
      Get the dick out of your mouth faggot

      • Ugh
        March 31, 2020 at 7:16 pm

        Aww. A little white knight. So cute

  • Dick Gzinnia
    March 29, 2020 at 8:40 pm

    Was readin, couldn’t tell if it was gonna go on for 3 or 33 more minutes so I bailed. Something about the kid was a queer, and a broke loser, and butt hurt but I started drifting away….

  • Liawatha
    March 29, 2020 at 7:39 pm

    You”re picking on a mentally disabled autistic gay! He has a rainbow flag! C’mon! for God’s sake!

    • Hiawatha
      March 30, 2020 at 8:01 am

      Why don’t you adopt him, you flamer.

  • Oh Look, Another One
    March 29, 2020 at 7:14 pm

    Waaa….us gays are discriminated against. Waaaa the LGBTQ community is a target. Waaaaa I can’t coax the gerbil out of my lower intestine. Waaaa….. it’s ALL TRUMP’S FAULT!!
    OMFG!! Seriously, shut the fuck up, take some personal responsibility and stop blaming all your imaginary issues on everyone/everything else. It’s 2020, nobody’s attacking anybody and give me an example where gays are ‘discriminated’ against. You can’t. NOBODY GIVES A SHIT!!

    • Sil O. Cyben
      March 29, 2020 at 9:47 pm

      Agreed. It’s been FOUR goddamn years, and people are still chittering about the ‘evil orange man’ who makes them feel bad in their coochies. If nothing else, he’s done sane people a favor by lighting up how many psychopathic toddlers there are in the US. I really hope some of these shitflutes have the spine to tear up the check, given that he isn’t THEIR president, and it’s not THEIR government.

  • Jordis
    March 29, 2020 at 6:56 pm

    Forest, go on YouTube and type in
    Key and Peele Office Homophobe

    At the end, the character has a self awareness moment. Let this please inspire you to have the very same moment.

  • What goes around....
    March 29, 2020 at 6:26 pm

    TB, if you ever find yourself in distress, good luck. You are on your own, by yourself in the middle of the Sahara Desert on a hot afternoon with no water and no MBTA trains willing to stop or even slow down for you. Karma closed your account a long time ago.

    • Turdchomper
      March 29, 2020 at 7:35 pm

      Oh such hate. If TB is in the shit he will be fine. We have Turtleboy back.
      You on the other hand…just keep pitting out GoFundMe and shitty videos.

      • ...comes around
        March 29, 2020 at 9:51 pm

        Hey hungry guy/gal, no hate here. Merely pointing out that while it may be great fun to TB to pile on people who are obviously in various forms of distress, at some point in time the bell will toll for him. And you claim when that happens you will have his back? Given your chosen occupation, I doubt you’ll be around to help.

        P.S. “pitting out GoFundMe and shitty videos” = ? I didn’t understand that. Better not to try to talk when your mouth is so full.

        • Hey Dickhead
          March 30, 2020 at 2:54 am

          You must be new here or just a complete fucking imbecile. That is LITERALLY the point of the whole blog, to shit on people and call them out for doing shitty things. And yes, begging for money on the internet when you are perfectly able bodied is shitty.
          You fucking “kArmA wIlL GeT yOu!” clowns have been crying in the comment section for years and guess what becomes of it……NOTHING. Tb provides a much needed service and if you’re too goddamn stupid to recognize what that service is, then you may be next.

  • U.B. Rimmin
    March 29, 2020 at 6:13 pm

    The weirdo works part time at a donut shop and then complains about being broke. I can’t believe the president is going to send this knob gobbler a check. If this pillow biter gets a check I’ll never pay taxes again.

  • This kid has it going on
    March 29, 2020 at 6:02 pm

    Forrest is my new favorite person. You rock Forest. Keep making your videos Bro. Crack this pos turtle shell. You make me smile. No joke about it. You make better video’s than turtledick does in 1: 44.03 minutes. His average BORING rants. You captivate an audience in less than 5 minutes. I am your newest fan.

    • Anybody home, McFly?
      March 29, 2020 at 9:36 pm

      You just admitted to admiring lying, dishonest, fascist pieces of shit. Nice job.

  • Wayyyy too long
    March 29, 2020 at 5:53 pm

    TL;DR

    ya gotta find a way of shortening these things up

  • Hartford
    March 29, 2020 at 5:38 pm

    You fucking whiny simp. You think you have a target on your back. It is only in your demented head. Only you can see it. You flap about like a gay chicken screaming that you have a gaydar target on your back that only you can see. You paint yourself like a homo that draws attention to you imaginary target .. that only you could see.
    We are experiencing a global pandemic for the first time in 102 years. Nobody has time for your made up drama. Just kill yourself. Make better documentaries in the next life.

  • Fox News
    March 29, 2020 at 5:35 pm

    These are literally the least interesting articles. Let’s switch it up TB. We get it, another one wants to sue you. Whoop dee la doo.
    Let’s get some of that real investigative reporting going on, not this “he sed dis to me!” bullshit.

    • Just want to see HTTG degrading herself more.self
      March 29, 2020 at 5:47 pm

      Link Video links to a high httg doing black men for money at the Encore? Just asking.

  • Being gay isnt an excuse to not work
    March 29, 2020 at 5:27 pm

    There are millions of gay people who lead productive, meaningful lives who aren’t leeches on society. Sadly this lazy asshole isn’t one of them. He will go thru life using his “gay” discrimination excuse as a crutch. No doubt we have yet another useless , demented pos to support for the next half a century. Fuck him.

    • Jordis
      March 29, 2020 at 7:00 pm

      Well said. Those looking for an excuse will always find one. He obviously sees himself as being gay the same as a handicap. He does worse for ‘his cause’ by lacking any fortitude and playing the victim.
      Like someone who has a “Jesus is my copilot” bumper sticker and cuts you off.

      Forest isnt a pathetic leech because he’s gay. He’s a pathetic, self absorbed leech because he’s a weak entitled asshole.

  • Leroy
    March 29, 2020 at 5:16 pm

    I don’t like them putting chemicals in the water that turn the friggin’ frogs gay!

  • Amanda Sawyer
    March 29, 2020 at 5:16 pm

    I am in contact with Forrest of course.

    • Turdchomper
      March 29, 2020 at 7:38 pm

      You still aren’t going to get any dick you ugly cunt. Keep trying

  • Alex Cohens Hog Ring
    March 29, 2020 at 5:03 pm

    Come on the live show.

    • ALEX COHEN
      March 29, 2020 at 8:34 pm

      I love black cock and all things kosher

  • Hate Fags
    March 29, 2020 at 4:56 pm

    Oh cool, he’s a fag and a retard. Shove him in an oven.

  • Greg Louganis
    March 29, 2020 at 4:42 pm

    I wonder where all these down votes are coming from?

    • Greg LooseAnus
      March 29, 2020 at 7:49 pm

      GERBILS!

  • Grafton Police Dept
    March 29, 2020 at 4:39 pm

    Pretty sure spitting in someones drink is an arrestable offense and a felony at this point.

    • Fuck these people
      March 29, 2020 at 9:38 pm

      THANK YOU! Openly admits to it and has the nerve to act oppressed.

  • Ace
    March 29, 2020 at 4:21 pm

    You have to be an idiot to read through this entire shit blog. Get a fuckin life dudes

  • Fred Knessl
    March 29, 2020 at 4:18 pm

    What the FUCK DID I Just try to read?

    • Eugen Ics
      March 29, 2020 at 9:41 pm

      More involved articles weed out the simple-minded.

  • Elton Johns Husband
    March 29, 2020 at 4:10 pm

    What a jizz rag this kid is.

  • Don Lemon
    March 29, 2020 at 4:08 pm

    I have never heard a gay man whine this much before.

  • Mayor Martini Walsh
    March 29, 2020 at 4:02 pm

    Mayor Martini Walsh here.. I mean Mawty Walsh.
    Firstly I want all of you to know IAM AN ALCOHOLIC and that 2 months ago when all the scientist people said get ready for a global pandemic I couldn’t imagine it happening because I only imagine dicks and men’s sweaty hairy asses and testicles.

    Uhm what were we talking about? Yeah I’m Mawty Walsh and IM AN ALCOHOLIC and lately the stress has been too much so I been relapsing with bottle and having unprotected sex in a Back Bay parkin garage…. so… I need everyone’s support at this time.

    Uhm.. what was we suppose to be talking about again? Oh yeah… uhm.. nobody briefed me or told me what to do about a disease. I can’t even go online to read a brochure about it cuz my computers all have viruses from downloading porn.. so.. what was we talking about again? Oh yeah President Trump is bad and…… hold on that’s my sponsor calling… oh no… it’s my Chinese take out order. I gotta go pick it up at a parking garage in the Back Bay… is it me or is it really hot outside I feel all sweaty..

    • Knob Barley
      March 29, 2020 at 7:04 pm

      These are the type of creative comments I come back here for, whether I agree with anything being expressed or not. Bravo

  • Dunkin Corporate Office
    March 29, 2020 at 3:57 pm

    Stop fondling the chocolate crullers and making
    the Boston Cremes ejaculate.

    Thank you

  • John Wayne Gacy
    March 29, 2020 at 3:53 pm

    Forrest,do you know how to use a Sawzall?

    • John Wayne Gacy
      March 29, 2020 at 9:39 pm

      Also, do you know how to get blood and cum out of a cashmere silk clown suit? Asking for a friend…

  • Sandusky Breath
    March 29, 2020 at 3:49 pm

    Hit the showers Forrest.

    • Sandusky Breath
      March 29, 2020 at 9:50 pm

      And make sure you get that ass all good and clean, ‘cuz I’ll be up after you to check!

  • Lydon
    March 29, 2020 at 3:47 pm

    Dude you got on Turtleboy because your a douchebag. You wanna make it worse apparently. If you end up on tb then you should look
    In the mirror. The problem is you

    • Casino Scum
      March 29, 2020 at 7:41 pm

      History proves time and time again that fighting back against the Turtle only makes matters worse, much worse. Best policy for getting Turtle shamed is to accept the exposure, hope that most of your friends and family didn’t catch wind of it and do a little ( or a lot) of soul searching.
      Than gracefully fade away from Turtle memory and never get mentioned again….But NOOOO most ratchets cant go down with out justifying their scumminess and getting the last word in or threatening deformation suits with their imaginary lawyers. I know you’re reading this silly boy Forest..do yourself a huge favor and cease and desist or itll get much worse. haha

    • DL Fag
      April 23, 2020 at 10:04 am

      I’m not a douchebag lol… most people knew that

  • Trevor Noah
    March 29, 2020 at 3:46 pm

    I would love to turn his large intestine into a Habitrail.

  • whatevuh
    March 29, 2020 at 3:44 pm

    If you didn’t know what severe mental illness looked like before, you sure do now ! That kid is fucked up beyond belief

    • Done with this shit
      March 29, 2020 at 9:43 pm

      The fact that sociopaths like this kid get so much rabid support from other people who don’t see what a piece of shit he is, means the mental health crisis in this country is far past unsolvable. And they bitch about “safe spaces”. If only normal people could be granted sanctuary from THEM.

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