Pipepolishing Con-Artist “Plumber” Owes Over $100K in Judgements And Fines, Somehow Still Living Better Than The Rest Of Us, Might Be Doing Business In A City Near You

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Let me introduce you to this scrawny, slimy little rodent. Better yet, let this lady do it for me –

Dennis G. Burns, aptly enough, in addition to possessing a face that makes the words “consensual intercourse” dubious and a shitsmear for a pubestache, has been burning homeowners and contractors since at least 2013. He’s also clearly a card carrying member of the Chubchasers Lounge. Dennis once worked for a reputable plumbing company in Wrentham, MA, but was let go after a pattern of stealing from the company and customers to buy hillbilly heroin, lying, and general being shady and unlikable emerged. Armed with a plumbing license, rudimentary work skills, and absolutely no self awareness or shame, Burns Plumbing and Heating of Cumberland, RI was born. A quick run of his name through the google machine shows that business permanently closed, and a couple of businesses associated with his name:



Not suspicious at all. Lots of reputable business owners go through 2 or 3 different business names in a 5 year span, right?? Get shut down, just change the name around, and keep the good times rolling!

Dennis attended to his work as a plumber with the same level of low skill, poor follow through and unfounded confidence he has while attempting to the caulk the crack with the lowest standards during last call on dollar draft Tuesday at the local swillhole.

Just check out the glowing reviews from Mr. Burns satisfied customers.


I imagine his dates have similar feedback.

“He went to the bank and within 10 minutes cashed the check”.

“He has destroyed my old boiler and now I have no furnace at all….this $7,000 contract was paid in full.”

“Dennis Burns took my money and never did the job”.

Sounds like an honest, hardworking, quality business man to me!

Surely Dennis the Menace has some sort of valid reason why he had time to pick up the checks, cash the checks, but never do the work. Oh, look,  another thrilled “customer”:


But on the topic of his divorce…. Spoiler alert: He just becomes more and more of a human septage receptacle. No divorce is every easy, but the dissolution of the Burns union was a spectacular dumpster fire that highlights the astounding moral fiber of this Grundlesmear Gingertrap:


Shockingly enough, his wife didn’t want to keep a thieving, lying, scam artist violent felon with a penchant for beating her around.

Shitsandwich supreme Burns gets bonus points in the Scumfuck Olympics, because according to sources close to him, he TOTALLY put his kids in the middle of his divorce. Because why even have the little fucktrophies, if they can’t be used to hurt your enemies and keep pesky questions like “When are you going to finish the work I paid you for?” at bay?

Some highlights include when, according to several independent sources, he allegedly purposely allowed the family home’s oil tank to go empty while visiting the children to file child neglect on his ex wife. There’s also him coaching his daughter during a video taped accusation against the mother’s new boyfriend of, you guessed it, diddling his kiddies. I’m not going to publish the video, because, duh it’s a kid. But I have seen it and can confirm, 100% as blood boiling as you can imagine. Scumbag logic says, “I can cheat on my wife with any SeaWorld attraction I so chose, but my wife is never allowed to move on.” And presuming Dennis can read and write, he probably wrote the syllabus for scumfuckery 101.

Several of this cockslobbering clogged pipe’s theft victims have made fruitless attempts to recover their funds through the courts. There are at least 12 open complaints in courthouses spanning at least 9 different jurisdictions. It’s not that anyone seems to be having much trouble winning a judgement against this shitstain – but finding him is proving to be a lot more difficult. Despite several bench warrants out for his apprehension, this slimy oil slick just keep sliding through the cracks.

So where have Dennis’ victims hard earned, easily scammed funds been going? Well, I personally couldn’t answer for sure, and I doubt this thieving twatwaffle would be forthright if asked. Unfortunately for him, public record doesn’t lie, and is, well….public. So let me tell you where it hasn’t been going:

Hasn’t been going to rent! Somehow this sackless shitbag supreme and his side of cheesehog have managed to get evicted not once, not twice, but three times in the last 2 ½ years!  As soon as you come in to contact with these two, you are guaranteed going to lose money. It would be wiser to engage in business with the toothless sweaty flapjacks begging you for a ten spot to “catch a cab home after work” on the lunch shift at the fuzzy grape. At least you might wind up with a gummy blowjob for your troubles. Dennis will suck you dry in an even less enjoyable manner.

I have it on good authority from several sources that Dennis has never served in the military, in any capacity. So how he managed to get the “Soldier and Sailors Relief Act” is beyond me. This fucking guy is like a shitdick savant. It’s like he sat down, thought really long and hard about every single action and quality that makes a scumbag a scumbag, and said to himself “Yep, that’ll do. All of it.”

They even used her last name so he could fraudulently sign another lease they never were going to honor. Violent felon, wife beater, career scam artist criminal, infidelity, multiple evictions, using his kids as tiny little human shields, the “disease” of addiction he likes to blame every single last fuck up on when he exhausts all other excuses his flea brain can churn out….Holy shit, you guys!! Have we found Ratchet Jesus??!!

He’s been hiding from bench warrants this whole time! The deadbeat father, the shameful son, and the holey bedsheets!

Now, don’t spit out your tea, Turtleriders, but it appears he hasn’t been scamming people to pay his child support, either.

A quick look at his Facebook Page, and Megan’s, does give us a little bit of a list as what they’ve been up to while the people he’s ripped off have had to pay double for someone to come in to actually do the work he pulled an Irish Dad on and said he’d be right back to complete, but never did……

Riding motorcycles.

Traveling to expensive destinations.

Getting all dolled up and getting their Pigparty on!

Purchasing totes adorbs couples themed adult costumes.

Taking his High Maintenance Hogpiece to expensive restaraunts,

And purchasing new vehicles.

And of course, amusement parks!

I think you get the gist.

His civil court records could be published as a new children’s book entitled, “Where in the World is Dennis Scamdiego?”

Not Attleboro, where he’s been ordered to pay back $6,344.91



Or Chelsea, where he’s ordered to pay back $4,257.98.


Not Marlboro, where he owes $447.37


And I won’t take Wrentham, for $8,682.20, Alex…


Or Taunton, for $442.28….


Probably not in Waltham, either, he owes $360.60 over there….


Maybe Dudley, where they can’t even serve him?….doubt it.

Not pictured are cases in Brockton, Framingham, Newton and Quincy, because, we just don’t have all day to trace back Dennis Burns-everyone’s map to Thefttown. Hopefully, someone out there reading this might be able to. I’m pretty sure all these people are dying to see him. That’s one reunion this piece of stir fried semen should be forced to attend. Hope you like cuffs, Denny!

So, one destination that this pubestached plumbing hack and his scramette may have traveled to recently, is the city of dreams itself, Worcester, MA.

Where he not only owes yet another judgement for $7,449.39….

…but also most recently of all, a $61,750.00 fine to MassDEP.

I have it on some authority that Dennis and his scumbaggette are either hiding across the border in Rhode Island, or back living with her mother in Wrentham. If you come across them, for the love of God, just hide your valuables and don’t make eye contact. The full extent of burning that Burns has done is still unknown – if you’ve been scammed or robbed by this fraud, reach out, let us know. It doesn’t look like he’s going to see the error of his ways any time soon, and not only does no one else deserve to be ripped off by this rodent…….

……..there’s a long line of folk who just want to talk to you, dickweed.

33 Comment(s)
  • Sitting at the bar
    October 16, 2018 at 8:25 pm

    Ummm… I hate to rehash old news but…… Breaking News!!!!! UPDATE….
    Some How this couple who is “no longer together” managed to manipulate a landlord into a new apartment. With their 7 ignored cats. And also left her mother at home alone with MS after supporting them. Her neighbors now have to help with daily tasks. Febreze please. Spreading gonorrhea one day at a time.

  • Sitting at the bar
    October 16, 2018 at 8:23 pm

    Ummm… I hate to rehash old news but…… Breaking News!!!!! UPDATE….
    Some How this couple who is “no longer together” managed to manipulate a landlord into a new apartment. With their 7 ignored cats. And also left her mother at home alone with MS after supporting them. Her neighbors now have to help with daily tasks. Febreze please

  • glauber
    September 26, 2018 at 4:55 pm

    I got scammed last year by Dennis. Anyone has his address so I can take him to small claims court.

  • Burnt by Burns No More
    September 24, 2018 at 5:29 pm

    What a story! That I’ve heard over and over and over about these “contractors”. Here’s a tip… Dennis… He is the brother of Bob Burns- who owns Burns Mechanical in Waltham, MA. He hires some real winners over there… for a reputable HVAC company … his roster of employees include weed smoking, pill popping, drinking on the job, cunt sniffing and whore hopping on the job, cocaine snorting townie kids/men children. He hires Dennis’ friends, his other brother’s friends, his own friends and trickles down from there. Great HR department- probably doesn’t even do screening or an interview! What a family! Last I heard, some of the HVAC guys are too busy smoking weed and crack all day, driving around posting on social media pretending to live there, stealing from clients, doing side work and stealing from THOSE clients…grade A toolbags! It must be a family affair! Bob should look into his own roster of employees- Dennis used to work for him you see how that played out! Turtle Boy cracks down again and again again! Moral of the story: DO YOUR JOB!

  • Sitting at the bar
    September 13, 2018 at 2:39 pm

    Just to add to the mix. Turtle boy missed one amazing valid fact. The two of them also contracted gonorrhea from a stripper at the doll house. So classy gets classier.

  • Grim reaper
    September 13, 2018 at 1:06 pm

    Dennis coulda stopped all this over a year ago… He was warned as was SHE.. Their behavior didnt stop they made no attempts to pay anyone back so the hammer fucking falls..

    Ask dennis abt him telling his friend at a party he was hitting that (referring to Megan). Party happened to be in Worcester the home of the turtle at that.

  • JLB123
    September 13, 2018 at 12:22 pm

    Oh yeah…she’s a wonderful person with a heart of gold. That’s why she was banging Denny Boy behind her friends, his wife’s, back . Wonderful girl!!!!! She was made aware of his scheming a long time ago and said she didn’t want to be involved. Turning a blind eye to the truth and calling the person who is telling it to you a asshole and immature, doesn’t make you a good person, or a victim. Nice attempt sticking up for the hussy though.

    • Grim reaper
      September 13, 2018 at 12:53 pm

      I mean they were all living at her moms house in wrentham 2 nighys ago….just saying?

    • Grim reaps
      September 13, 2018 at 1:39 pm

      Sounds like a familiar routine.

  • Shannon
    September 13, 2018 at 8:00 am

    I don’t know why Megan is brought into this. She has her own job as a nurse, and has always been a hard worker. They haven’t been together for some time. It’s a shame that with the diligent research and purported “commitment to truth” that Turtleboy espouses, you would irresponsibly cast aspersions on someone with no personal blame. A lot of people who may be insecure or naive end up with con artists. He was obviously as good at fooling her as his myriad customers.

    • Not So Much, Piggy
      September 13, 2018 at 9:38 am

      Lol Nice try, her facebook profile picture was the two of them, up until this article was published.

    • Just Saying
      September 13, 2018 at 10:05 am

      The fact that she’s now claiming to have “not been with him” for “some time” despite evidence to the contrary, suggests some guilt on her part.

    • Cowards
      September 13, 2018 at 10:40 am

      Funny how nobody will defend them in Facebook comments, only here where there’s no face on it. Nice try, miss piggy!!

    • Yeah Right
      September 13, 2018 at 11:02 am

      bahahaha on September 5th her Facebook said in a relationship with Dennis G Burns you lying cow. Use your real name, Megan. Fatty Mc scumpussy! Innocent people don’t lie

    • Grim reaper
      September 13, 2018 at 12:54 pm

      Shhhhh you’re only making yourself look very foolish!

  • N
    September 13, 2018 at 12:26 am

    First of all, his girlfriend is an ex girlfriend. With not much knowledge of what happened and HIM using her name without permission. Second of all, you are all scumbags with the only thing you go after is her weight, while your probably some overweight or shallow guy who sits at a computer not knowing the correct facts. Megan is a beautiful human being and has a heart of gold. Her weight is irrelevant. The article is about HIM and HIM only. So don’t attack a women espically her weight. This is the type of stuff that makes people want to kill themselves. Talk about him not her

    • Liar Liar Pants on Fire
      September 13, 2018 at 9:42 am

      Ex Girlfriend?? That picture of them on a boat is from June, nice try though. She had him all over her Facebook, until the blog went up. She knew what he was doing, and she benefited from it and was complicit in it. That’s why she’s here. As far as her weight, a treadmill might work. Nothing is gonna fix that face though. How does one become so fat, doing cocaine?

  • DP
    September 12, 2018 at 8:56 pm

    Holy shit does Turtleboy do their research! I can vouch for the video with his kid, but only a few people knew about that! When he asked her “where did he touch you” the kid goes something like “idk, my head?” And he goes, “Stop playing around!” Real sick shit, and the girlfriend is a fat cokehead piece of garbage too! She used to be friends with his ex wife and babysit the kids!! Cheesehog moozilla

  • Jenny ❤️
    September 11, 2018 at 11:57 pm

    I ❤️ Turtleboysports!

  • He's a victim of big Pharma
    September 11, 2018 at 8:49 pm

    Have him meet you at an abandoned house, talk about the work you would like him to do in dilapidated property… the options are yours. Give him a fake check printed off your computer, lock him in a porta-john and tip it, get him to put in a days work in a condemned crack house and buy his own materials, scam the scammer… whatever it could be a fun time.

  • Chubchaser
    September 11, 2018 at 5:49 pm

    Fat girls are like mopeds. Fun to ride as long as your friends don’t know you’re riding it!

    • bigdaddy
      September 11, 2018 at 6:04 pm

      nothing wrong with being a chubby chaser They are easier to catch

  • Kevin Lynch
    September 11, 2018 at 5:41 pm

    I gave Dennis $10 to snake my pipes. He did leave them quite clogged. But I am a VERY satisfied customer.

  • Bruce wayne
    September 11, 2018 at 3:53 pm

    Holy shit its Batman and fatgirl

  • Dick N. Vulva III
    September 11, 2018 at 3:38 pm

    Any Momo who hands a reject like that a deposit check over $50 deserves to have every cent of it disappear forever. What in the Hell is wrong with people who agree to hand some half-assed gypsy plumber a check thinking there’s gonna be a happy ending to the transaction? Probably the same people who give money on GoFundMe to total strangers, that’s who….

  • Christina
    September 11, 2018 at 2:53 pm

    As a former friend of dennis and Shamu
    I can Honestly say he does not pay nor give his ex-wife any money towards the thousands of dollars he owes in back child support. She fully supports those 3 kids on her own without him. He maybe see’s he children 2 times a month but sometimes always has an excuse for him not to see them. He needs to go to jail for everything he has done to so called clients and his ex-wife. I hope people reading this will share this around so other people don’t get scammed.

    • inquiring minds
      September 11, 2018 at 3:17 pm

      What about all the coke they both do? And she’s a nurse??!

  • M
    September 11, 2018 at 1:19 pm

    How did he qualify for a car loan with all those creditors? Unless he conned someone else to put it in their name.
    It looks like he sees his kids, at least sometimes. I say, everyone should be waiting for him next time he picks up or drops them off.

    • Bobby Finstock
      September 11, 2018 at 1:30 pm

      Car loans are a joke. The only requirement is a pulse.

  • I'm Back
    September 11, 2018 at 1:07 pm

    I would do her in all 3 openings. While he is locked in the closet…

    • CE
      September 11, 2018 at 5:25 pm

      She’d be welcome at my chubchaser lounge, however I would not be parading her around as some trophy.

  • Realestatepup
    September 11, 2018 at 12:43 pm

    Turtleboy, the Soldier’s and Sailor’s Relief act is something all banks must file when they start a foreclosure proceeding against anyone. It’s notice to the person getting foreclosed on that they have the right to file a delay if they are active duty servicepeople. We all know Burns is not, but by law the banks have to file it to stay in compliance. On a side note, EVERYONE in the real estate biz pretty much has heard of this guy. His name has been well known for years for scam work, no work, shitty work, code violations, you name it.

    • Flynn
      September 12, 2018 at 9:40 pm

      But that looks like an eviction, not a foreclosure?

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