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If you didn’t see the Auburn-Alabama football match on Saturday, it’s not a big deal. You only missed the greatest game ever. Let me start by saying that College Football is a giant waste of time to become invested in until there’s a playoff system. Unless the team you root for goes undefeated or is named Alabama (or MAYBE another SEC school), then they have zero chance of playing for a National Championship in the postseason. Zero. Point. Zero.

So what exactly are you hoping for at the end of the season? Oh yea, the BOWL GAME. There is no bigger scam that has ever been pulled on the American public that has been effective as the bowl game scam. One bowl is for the championship, and the others are for…….money? pride? quarries? babes? Let’s say you make the Cotton Bowl and then you win. Cool story bro. Where does that get you? On a list of other Cotton Bowl winners? And this is supposed to make you happy? Seems like it’s basically a way for millionaires to make more money off of dingleberries who like to watch football. These poor schmucks just want to see meaningful football so badly that they’re easily convinced that it matters if they make and win the Buffalo Wild Wings Bowl.

One of the reasons I liked Obama in 2008 was because he said he wanted to see a college playoff. That’s a man right there who means business. If Obama is President when the playoff system starts then he’s a Top 5 President in history. If not then he’s just some chump that made my buy government healthcare and took all my guns away. His legacy entirely rests on whether or not this gets done. End of story.

With that being said, until there is a playoff my goal is for the BCS system to blow up every year. The worst case scenario is if two quality programs go undefeated and meet in the title game. It makes the system seem like it works. Luckily that hardly ever happens. Alabama won the last two national titles after losing games earlier in the season. Two years ago they lost to LSU during the regular season, and then beat them in the title game, which of course meant there was no reason for them to try at all in the first game.

Thus I’m looking for as much controversy as possible. Auburn came into the game with one loss and was ranked fourth. Alabama was undefeated and ranked first. If Bama won they would be on a showdown for a title matchup with undefeated Florida State. But if they lost? Oh boy, that would be fun. It would create an absolute clusterhump and some good old fashioned yelling.

Luckily this is exactly what happened. Bama smacked them around in the 2nd quarter, but Auburn kept it close, scored in the final minute to tie it, and then let Bama get one final shot with less than a minute to go. Bama looked like they ran out of time after getting out of bounds on the Auburn 40 yard line, but the play was reviewed and it was determined that there was 1 second left. This one second probably cost them the championship, because Nick Saban, in his infinite wisdom, decided that his idiot kicker could nail a 57 yard field goal. The problem was that the first nudnik kicker already missed three field goals that weren’t close at all. So he brought in the crappy kicker’s backup, who actually kicked it pretty straight. If you haven’t seen it yet, here’s the video, accompanied by the Auburn play by play call.

Sweet, delicious pandaemonium. I could care less about Auburn or Alabama, but that was pretty fantastic. I kind of went bonkers in my living room. Imagine how people reacted who actually had a vested interest in the outcome of the game. Luckily the internet machine can just show us how they reacted.

Love everything about the reactions. Loved seeing the friendship between the Auburn girl and Alabama girl come crashing down. Loved seeing the Auburn father physically assault his sleeping child in the pure ecstasy of victory. Loved seeing those little boys watch their undefeated season coming crashing down in 15 seconds. I like little kids and all, but little Alabama fans needed this. They win every year. They need to learn that losing is part of life. They need to cry themselves to sleep and realize that there are bigger problems out there – like the fact that they live in Alabama. Oh yea, and this one was entirely on your moronic coach who decided that putting 10 fat guys and a kicker who can’t kick on the field for the final play of the game was a good idea. The reactions from around the web were fantastic..

And the following people are so Alabama it hurts…

And don’t feel bad for AJ McCarron either. Remember, win or lose he gets to go home to this –

As for the Auburn fans, it was nice to see them all fired up for 15 seconds of joy. Very touching. But in the end, did it really matter if they won that game? So now they get to go to a different bowl where they won’t be playing for the National Championship? Sweet. At least Alabama won’t be winning it this year right?

Or will they?

This is where the fun starts. Ohio State has moved up to number two, even though they’ve only beaten a bunch of ragtags. Auburn is ranked third, followed by Alabama, and Missouri. And just so you know the controversy is coming, two members of the AP poll voted Auburn #1. Missouri is pretty nasty too. They have one loss, in double OT to South Carolina. Bama has one loss, but it was on the road against Auburn.

So when Missouri plays Auburn next weekend for the SEC title, one of those teams is going to win the game. That’s when the fun gets kicked up a notch. That’s when a lot more than two people vote for the winner of that game. Because anyone who has watched any football this year knows that if Ohio State plays any of those SEC teams…..well, ask Notre Dame how that story ends. Or how about Alabama? If Missouri beats Auburn, who should be ranked higher – Bama or Mizzou?

The fact that this will be decided in blogs like this and arguments amongst writers is what makes college football the biggest joke going. The winner isn’t decided on the field. It’s decided at the bar. So on that note the Auburn win was awesome for the following reasons:

1. Alabama’s biggest hope of winning another title is having Jameis Winston just admit that he raped the girl who is accusing him of doing such. Preferably this week before the Duke game, and then having Florida State lose that game because Winston gets suspended.

2. There’s a chance Urban Meyer’s undefeated Buckeyes won’t be in the National Championship game even if they’re undefeated. This will lead to him crying and whining about how unfair it is. Kind of like when he was playing a bunch murderers and thugs at Florida and hid them behind the mask of Tim Tebow and Jesus.

3. Auburn went undefeated in 2005 and didn’t get to play in the title game because Ohio State and Texas were also undefeated. Now they can possibly leapfrog Ohio State even though they have a loss this time around, and OSU is undefeated.

4. Alabama has to hope that whatever scandals are currently being swept under the rug at Ohio State come to light immediately after Jameis Winston admits to rape, so that Meyer is exposed BEFORE he skips town from Columbus.

5. In it’s final year the BCS completely failed, reminding how much we’re not going to miss it at all.

Feel free to share your thoughts to keep the conversation going.

Follow us on Twitter and on Facebook

If you like what you read then please SHARE this with other people who want an alternative to the mindless drivel from blogging outlets.

To follow via email just click on “Follow” on the upper right hand of the column, where it says “follow via email.”