Turtleboy Investigates

Reader Email: Here’s The Real Story Behind The Lazy Panhandler Who The Turtlegram Sympathized With Today

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The Turtlegram tried to guilt its few remaining subscribers into feeling bad for panhandlers today when noted Twitter egg Mark Sullivan wrote this puff piece which completely failed in its attempt to humanize lazy people who refuse to get jobs:

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Basically it’s the story of four homeless people (two couples), all under the age of 31. They hold signs during the day and they sleep under the bridge at the end of Plymouth Street which doubles as an unofficial skate park called Worcide during the day. We did a thing on this place last year. Read it here.

Anyway, the long and short of the Turtlegram article is that these four homeless people are victims. They all desperately wanna work but no one will hire them. None of them do drugs either. But a turtle rider who is very familiar with Ryan Matthews, the shirtless cover boy for this fantastic piece of fiction, wrote to us and let us know the REAL story about this winner:

Front page of the T and G today was this sad sap story about this kid Ryan Matthews and how he is living under the bridge near Green Street. Talking about how he’s been homeless for 6 years. Cant find a job because he recently has a criminal history. He is getting married to some homeless woman who is pregnant and is having her 4th baby.

Our company used to employee this kid. At the time he was living at his baby mama’s parent’s house. Nice neighborhood in Worcester, food paid for, all that good stuff. Then he got kicked out before the kid was born. I don’t remember if it was just because he was a piece of shit or if he was cheating on her or what. At some point we fired him because he was told a million times how to do something and he wouldn’t listen, no respect for authority, and he was so annoying that nobody could stand working with him.

So then we got real short handed at end of the summer and he had just been fired by another company we know so we brought him back on and we said you better up your game. Same shit, different day. Super loud and annoying. Just a bum. Constantly missing work, bumming cigarettes off of guys. And the best part was this time he was living with another girlfriend and she lent him a car.

We eventually fired him again for being shitty. But he stayed in contact for some reason. Turns out he got kicked out of that girlfriend’s place, then he was a “property manager” at a multifamily and got fired from there and lost his free housing he had there. Then he worked for an auto auction place, got canned, and a few other places. Last I knew he was living at a place that looked like a crackhouse.


Then my buddy who has done some work at Worcide skate park which is a really awesome project said he came up to him with needle marks in his arm and was begging for his job back.

So you have this article talking about how sad it is and how no one will give him a chance. Meanwhile he had 2 girlfriends he could have lived free of charge with. Had multiple jobs he got fired from for being a lazy shitbag. He says he keeps people from doing drugs under the bridge meanwhile he smokes cigs, drinks, smokes weed and may now be into heroin. He tried blaming us when we fired him, meanwhile he sucked at the job and acted like he was the shit and whined all of the time. It’s not breaking news or anything but you constantly have all of these people saying “its too bad for these people, you dont know what they’ve been through” meanwhile this kid has had every chance to make a living but has screwed up every damn time.


None of that is the least bit surprising. First of all, they have Facebook pages which they regularly update. If you can do that but you can’t find a job or an apartment, then your priorities are all fucked up. Turtleboy has zero sympathy for any able bodied 25 year old man in the United States of America. This is the land of the free and the home of money. If you can’t make money in America then you’re a fucking douchebag. And this guy is clearly a douchebag. End of story.

Here’s some highlights of the Turtlegram’s article that illustrate everything that is wrong with panhandling right now:

Three weeks ago, Ms. Peters gave birth to a baby boy they named Gage, after a demonic child in the Stephen King horror story “Pet Sematary.” Two nights ago, on Saturday night, state child-welfare authorities took the infant, she says. Today, she is back out here, sitting under the bridge. The baby is her fourth child, she says. An older son, under her mother’s guardianship, is 5. A pair of daughters, in state care, are 2 and 1.

Oh good, she’s 23 and homeless and she decided it would be a good idea to get pregnant. For the fourth time!! And she named her latest child after a Stephen King horror story. Because that’s a perfectly normal thing for a mother to do. Here’s my question – how the hell was she allowed to leave the hospital with that baby? Turtleboy has been through the baby thing before. They don’t let you leave without checking for the carseat. So what dooshnozzle picked her up and drove her ass home? Because I know it wasn’t her deadbeat sperm donor “husband.”

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Poor kid. DCF only took the baby away because a good samaritan saw him living under the piss filled Green Street bridge. Awful. 

Mr. Matthews said he is originally from North Adams and was homeless “for a good five years out there.” Worcester, he said, “gives a little more towards the homeless, but it’s still rough, because Saturdays and Sundays, there’s nowhere to go and get free meals.”

Oh good. This guy moved to Worcester from Berkshire freaking County, two and a half hours from here, because he heard that business was better here for panhandlers. Ya got that? The word has spread all around Massachusetts – if you’re lazy and you have no intention of working, then get your ass to Worcester because people there are dumbasses and will give you money. Oh yea, and this mythological creature known as Tracy Novick will sue the city if they try to stop you from getting cash-money. 

Mr. Matthews said, “I want to at least have a one-bedroom or two-bedroom apartment where I can raise my family, be happy, not have to struggle every day. I work these little dead-end jobs all the time and am not making ends meet. I make more money signing in a day than I do working a job.”

Bullshit. Because as you can see, we spoke to his former employer, and he was making more money while he was actually working than he was holding a sign. And those jobs were not “dead end jobs” by definition. They were dead ends because he made them dead ends by not doing his job very well. But why blame yourself when you can blame other people, right? The Turtlegram will buy into and make you some sort of Dickensian protagonist. 

“A lot of jobs don’t want to take me because of that (criminal record),” he said. “Other than that, there’s no reason I can’t get a job. It’s just battling to get these jobs from the college kids, from the people who already have these jobs.”

Oh yea, I’m sure it’s really hard to compete with a college kid. What kind of employer isn’t looking to hire a seasonal employee who will leave them when school starts in September? That makes TONS of sense. 

He said Emily and her fiance, Mr. Robertson, fixtures under the Green Street bridge, “make a boatload because they’ve been in this spot for a while. They’ve got a bunch of regulars that come by.”

Oh good. The veterans make more money, so they never leave the profession. That’s just swell!!!

Emily stressed she is no longer homeless. After living on the streets in Worcester for five years, she now does have a place to stay, a room in Spencer. She takes the bus here each day to help Mr. Robertson. “I sign with my fiance to help him make money,” she said. “I’m a girl and can get more money.”

Wait…..she lives in Spencer (of course) and she takes a bus every day to Worcester so she can hold a sign because girls get more money? Hey idiot, why not take the bus to Worcester to get an actual job? Nah, that requires too much pride and personal responsibility. 

Anyway, this is just so typical of the Turtlegram. This is what they do. They highlight everything that is wrong with this city, and then they find a way to blame it on society, or institutional racism, or some other bullshit, instead of holding people accountable. If this were a real newspaper the Turtlegram would’ve found people who knew these idiots before they became homeless so they could find out the REAL story. But as usual they left that up to Turtleboy. 


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40 Comment(s)
  • Being Homeless is not a Destiny
    August 25, 2016 at 9:11 am

    This is where FEMA Camps need to come in play already.. she is also on welfare or some type of Government assistance. I just can’t believe it took that girl years to do the right thing and stop sleeping on the street. People who don’t want to work or get the serious hope they need need to get ran out of town. Worcester has a lot of programs and a ton of help for homeless and attics.

  • Michelle
    August 24, 2016 at 5:01 pm

    They act all nice but don’t trust them. They smoked all of my crack rocks and then spent all of my food stamps on Cheese Doodles.

    • Michelle
      September 18, 2016 at 11:03 am

      Wow thats not me. Someone posting under my name. Anyways i dont smoke crack and yeah im not a huge fan of cheese doodles. Cheesey poofs and then were talking! The medicine they stole for pain and one is for anxiety. Sooooooooooooo yea not crack. I kick crackheads off of our property all tbe time

  • Michelle
    August 24, 2016 at 4:31 pm

    I know them personally i can tell you even more horrible stuff. They are both pieces of shit. I am the one he assaulted. Ryan and Tracy are liars and thiefs. Ryan even stole my prescription medication. We gave them a temporary free place to stay and they fucked it up. They put on a nice face. But once you get to know them you regret ever meeting them.

    • Ron
      August 24, 2016 at 5:28 pm

      I HAVEN’T met them and I regret it.

      • FiestyLawyerLady
        August 24, 2016 at 5:49 pm

        No filter?

  • Mama38
    August 24, 2016 at 8:58 am

    Some people need to get their lives in check. It’s one thing to be homeless because you have no choice it’s another thing to be homeless cause your lazy and can’t keep a job. What mother in their right mind would subject their children to this kind of lifestyle not only has she had her newborn taken from her but she got her 3 other kids taken away from her and had dcyf called on her on several different occasions. People like that don’t need children.

  • August 22, 2016 at 9:05 pm

    Kevin your mother is a fat lazy slob!

    The only thing you hear from her is

    kEVIN get me more Twinkies

    Your mother is. A fat lazy POS

  • Crazy
    August 22, 2016 at 8:38 pm

    Out of boredom I read the original article on him and his posse, and there goes 5 minutes I’ll never get back. The article was insane. Literally. Like a mentally ill person speaking. His wife, who’s not really his wife, had her first wedding at city hall, so Ryan would like to put something nice together, so their homeless friends can come and eat and celebrate. Sounds legit. Have you guys checked out the Worcester country club? Or maybe the Beechwood Inn. YOU ARE LIVING UNDER A BRIDGE!! You are a ninja turtle on smack right now, pump the brakes on wedding planning. And the bride to be, was also homeless with her ex husband. So that’s her type? Forget handsome, good job, education. You are currently homeless living on the streets, well I’m your girl!

    • Larry the Infidel
      August 23, 2016 at 1:12 am

      Paper, yet again, was duped. We don’t use drugs – yeah right. Then why are you under a bridge??

  • Jimmy
    August 22, 2016 at 4:42 pm

    Total contradictions in the t and g story they don’t address. No one uses drugs down here. APW gives us Narcan and clean needles. Why would they do that, why would you need them if no ones using?

  • Joe Max
    August 22, 2016 at 12:55 pm

    Guaranteed they’re on government assistance too. Comes with the territory and am sure they know every scam that goes along with it. The begging money is tax-free of course, add the EBT card cash and the other benefits. Not bad, for not working for a living !

    • Michelle Spooner
      September 18, 2016 at 10:55 am

      Yes she is collecting wic and cash assistance for a baby she doesnt have!

  • Mediocrity
    August 22, 2016 at 8:18 am

    —- No respect for authority, annoying, constantly missing work, multiple jobs he got fired from, criminal record. —-
    Question: Logic would be for them to just wise-up and get a job. However, some have been living this same pattern for many years. Are there any programs available to help/reform these types of people? I realize they would need to WANT to change (much like an alcoholic/drug addict). But if he does not want to change for the better, then he will be homeless for a long time.
    If this person is a drug addict, then there are MANY more just like him. And the drug addiction problem just grows rapidly. The state & government will need to provide funding for reform programs in the near future. Would society rather pay for reform or enabling?

  • Reddog
    August 22, 2016 at 2:21 am

    I wish the w.r.t. a would shut the bus line to Spencer down. Is usually almost empty anyway. Keep the riff raff out.

    • Hill Billy
      August 22, 2016 at 7:19 am

      Run that route from Spensa to webta.

      • Wabbitt
        August 22, 2016 at 7:42 pm

        Uh no… Webster is full up on heroin addicts. We don’t need to import more from Spencer.

    • Al Pine
      August 23, 2016 at 6:02 am

      Every line on the WRTA is empty. They run these huge busses around all day everywhere, and a minivan would suffice to transport the handful of riders.

  • Kevin Lynch
    August 22, 2016 at 12:28 am

    This is what your mother wants from her son? Belittling and character assassinating people who are already down on their luck?

    Well first it is apparent that your mother threw out all the Bibles. You spoiled little bitch who never had to earn a fucking thing.

    You spend your time harrassing homeless people. Your mother must be proud of you, you pure pos coward.

    Karma will find you sleeping under a bridge someday you spoil puke. Leave the homeless alone already.

    Aiden, it is obvious that your bullying didn’t come from slapping people around as you had a way with words which you used to make fun of others as your peers chuckled.

    • Kevins 9 iron
      August 22, 2016 at 1:00 am

      Is your rectum is a little sore? Maybe we can take a break tonight and gently glide me in handle side first instead. Take a deep breath, it always helps.

      • Turd Burglestein
        August 22, 2016 at 8:05 pm

        I knew it!!! I knew he liked that 9 iron up the ass. Just make sure you poke that dangling hemmroid back up in there so he doesn’t trip over it when he does his walk of shame later.

    • Kevin Lynch's Mom
      August 22, 2016 at 1:13 am

      Kevin! I’m going to turn your bum red after using language like that! And then you’re going to dump your seed inside me because I’m your mother and I told you to!

      • Kevins 9 iron
        August 22, 2016 at 1:16 am

        Any way I can slide into this picture? I’m staying away from heads, unless their attached to the tip of a Kevins smegma crusted cock.

        • Kevins 9 iron
          August 22, 2016 at 1:22 am

          They are*

          My goodness gracious. You would think after all of the “head” I have had, I could have the “brains” to know the difference!!

          Did I set myself up for this joke? Absolutely!

          • Sal Monella
            August 22, 2016 at 7:31 am

            Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Even Kevin.

            Me too.

            Kevin, may I offer you one of my extra pairs of bolt cutters? There are several National Grid substations in the area with huge amounts of copper in them that you can take and give to this young deserving couple. They can sell for cash. National Grid won’t miss a few feet. Don’t worry, it’s safe to take.

          • Kevin Lynch
            August 22, 2016 at 8:25 am

            Vanessa, I cannot believe it is you hun.

            You seem so different in person.

            Where does your hatred of gay people come from?

        • Turd Burglestein
          August 22, 2016 at 8:07 pm

          You’d figure it wouldn’t have so much smegma on it after he pounds it i the ball washer.

    • Andrew McDonough
      August 22, 2016 at 10:18 am

      I wish I could live under a bridge… I wish I could live anywhere at all. But, Kevin Lynch killed me. I’m in the ground and Kevin walks around every day. Just doesn’t seem fair… 🙁

      Why did you kill me Kevin? I just want to live!

      I guess you didn’t have any Bibles either… Or Torahs… Thou shalt not kill Kevin!!

    • Wabbitt
      August 22, 2016 at 7:39 pm

      You’re REALLY going to mention the Bible? Doesn’t “thou shall not kill” show up pretty early on?

      Though I suppose, like most bible thumper, you pick and choose which passages you’ll follow.

      • BobnMic
        August 23, 2016 at 1:21 am

        And this is our Fiesty Ghetto Rat under fake name number freakin’ 18 obsessing over the top over someone yet again. Unreal. Imagine her world? Yikes.

        • BobnMic
          August 23, 2016 at 1:35 am

          She has an awesome 1994 Kia Sephia though. The thing looks mint even with turds from her little rat dog…

        • Wabbitt
          August 23, 2016 at 11:50 am

          No, that was me – the resident left leaning, atheist Turtle rider from Webster.

          It isn’t all a grand conspiracy, Bob.

    • A1
      August 22, 2016 at 8:19 pm

      When someone lives under a bridge and begs for cash to buy drugs, what character is exactly left to assassinate…..

    • Luke
      August 23, 2016 at 1:05 am

      Named a child after a satanic character. Stop right there. Next time you’re getting breakfast at St. John’s, try heading into the church. You may be amazed how He can change your life for the better. Honestly, what do you have to lose?

      • Luke
        August 23, 2016 at 5:57 am

        BTW, St.John’s also has a noontime Narcotics Anonymous meeting every day in church basement.

        • Mike
          March 27, 2017 at 8:35 pm

          ya luke lets catch a noonah!

    • Michelle
      August 24, 2016 at 4:27 pm

      I know them. They are deadbeats. They stayed here rent free and said the streets were better than here. I have so much personal knowledge of these two. Im the one ryan matthews assaulted. He is violent and hits her too. Many have witnessed it. She wont do anything about it. They borrow money from people and never pay them back. He just recently left his job at autozone. What this person who wrote it says is correct. I can verify it.

    • Michelle Spooner
      September 18, 2016 at 10:53 am

      i know these 2 ppl personally. We gave them a free place to stay. Them and the baby. But a few weeks before the baby was born, they expressed how they would rather be on the streets. He had a job at autozone (which he quit by the way). We told them to stay with us until they can save up enough to get on their feet. They didnt save a dime, stole prescription drugs from me. Because of their ungreatfullness and rudness i told them they can pack their stuff and get out. However, Ryan and Tracy didn’t like that very much. Tracy got in my face and acted like she was going to hit me, knowing i wouldn’t hit her because she was pregnant. Then ryan and her grabbed their stuff to leave after i threatened to call the police several times. Then finally they went to go walkout the apartment door when i followed behind to lock the outside door after them. Well they didnt like that. Ryan held the apartment door shut so i couldnt get out. All while yelling that we can come out when they leave… Ummm no this is our house and we have the right to make sure they don’t steal anymore stuff and leave the property and lock the door behind them. I was able to wedge my way in between the door and door casing. Ryan gave up holding the door shut and proceeded to grab part of a pac n play and throw it at my face. I called the police and pressed charges. Noone is saying all homless are bad. But the t&g picked the wrong people to do a story on. I know so much about these two that i will never ever feel sorry for them again!

    • Mike
      March 27, 2017 at 8:34 pm

      why do you read then kevin lynch?

    • I know them
      March 27, 2017 at 10:33 pm

      Here is the thing. I personally have nothing against homeless people. As i have been there myself. But i did something about it. The couple ryan and tracy who are featured in this article i know personally. We even gave them a FREE place to stay while they were to save money and get on their feet. They were ungreatful and when he would get his little checks from barely showing up for work..they would spend their money on stupid shit like monsters and redbull. Constantly ordering out. Never put any money into their baby. Was only looking for handouts. He assaults her all the time. When he assaulted me that was it. This article is true. He has been through so many jobs its not funny. Ryan and tracy give homeless people a bad name. This article was deserving.

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