The Turtlegram tried to guilt its few remaining subscribers into feeling bad for panhandlers today when noted Twitter egg Mark Sullivan wrote this puff piece which completely failed in its attempt to humanize lazy people who refuse to get jobs:
Basically it’s the story of four homeless people (two couples), all under the age of 31. They hold signs during the day and they sleep under the bridge at the end of Plymouth Street which doubles as an unofficial skate park called Worcide during the day. We did a thing on this place last year. Read it here.
Anyway, the long and short of the Turtlegram article is that these four homeless people are victims. They all desperately wanna work but no one will hire them. None of them do drugs either. But a turtle rider who is very familiar with Ryan Matthews, the shirtless cover boy for this fantastic piece of fiction, wrote to us and let us know the REAL story about this winner:
Front page of the T and G today was this sad sap story about this kid Ryan Matthews and how he is living under the bridge near Green Street. Talking about how he’s been homeless for 6 years. Cant find a job because he recently has a criminal history. He is getting married to some homeless woman who is pregnant and is having her 4th baby.
Our company used to employee this kid. At the time he was living at his baby mama’s parent’s house. Nice neighborhood in Worcester, food paid for, all that good stuff. Then he got kicked out before the kid was born. I don’t remember if it was just because he was a piece of shit or if he was cheating on her or what. At some point we fired him because he was told a million times how to do something and he wouldn’t listen, no respect for authority, and he was so annoying that nobody could stand working with him.
So then we got real short handed at end of the summer and he had just been fired by another company we know so we brought him back on and we said you better up your game. Same shit, different day. Super loud and annoying. Just a bum. Constantly missing work, bumming cigarettes off of guys. And the best part was this time he was living with another girlfriend and she lent him a car.
We eventually fired him again for being shitty. But he stayed in contact for some reason. Turns out he got kicked out of that girlfriend’s place, then he was a “property manager” at a multifamily and got fired from there and lost his free housing he had there. Then he worked for an auto auction place, got canned, and a few other places. Last I knew he was living at a place that looked like a crackhouse.
Then my buddy who has done some work at Worcide skate park which is a really awesome project said he came up to him with needle marks in his arm and was begging for his job back.
So you have this article talking about how sad it is and how no one will give him a chance. Meanwhile he had 2 girlfriends he could have lived free of charge with. Had multiple jobs he got fired from for being a lazy shitbag. He says he keeps people from doing drugs under the bridge meanwhile he smokes cigs, drinks, smokes weed and may now be into heroin. He tried blaming us when we fired him, meanwhile he sucked at the job and acted like he was the shit and whined all of the time. It’s not breaking news or anything but you constantly have all of these people saying “its too bad for these people, you dont know what they’ve been through” meanwhile this kid has had every chance to make a living but has screwed up every damn time.
None of that is the least bit surprising. First of all, they have Facebook pages which they regularly update. If you can do that but you can’t find a job or an apartment, then your priorities are all fucked up. Turtleboy has zero sympathy for any able bodied 25 year old man in the United States of America. This is the land of the free and the home of money. If you can’t make money in America then you’re a fucking douchebag. And this guy is clearly a douchebag. End of story.
Here’s some highlights of the Turtlegram’s article that illustrate everything that is wrong with panhandling right now:
Three weeks ago, Ms. Peters gave birth to a baby boy they named Gage, after a demonic child in the Stephen King horror story “Pet Sematary.” Two nights ago, on Saturday night, state child-welfare authorities took the infant, she says. Today, she is back out here, sitting under the bridge. The baby is her fourth child, she says. An older son, under her mother’s guardianship, is 5. A pair of daughters, in state care, are 2 and 1.
Oh good, she’s 23 and homeless and she decided it would be a good idea to get pregnant. For the fourth time!! And she named her latest child after a Stephen King horror story. Because that’s a perfectly normal thing for a mother to do. Here’s my question – how the hell was she allowed to leave the hospital with that baby? Turtleboy has been through the baby thing before. They don’t let you leave without checking for the carseat. So what dooshnozzle picked her up and drove her ass home? Because I know it wasn’t her deadbeat sperm donor “husband.”
Poor kid. DCF only took the baby away because a good samaritan saw him living under the piss filled Green Street bridge. Awful.
Mr. Matthews said he is originally from North Adams and was homeless “for a good five years out there.” Worcester, he said, “gives a little more towards the homeless, but it’s still rough, because Saturdays and Sundays, there’s nowhere to go and get free meals.”
Oh good. This guy moved to Worcester from Berkshire freaking County, two and a half hours from here, because he heard that business was better here for panhandlers. Ya got that? The word has spread all around Massachusetts – if you’re lazy and you have no intention of working, then get your ass to Worcester because people there are dumbasses and will give you money. Oh yea, and this mythological creature known as Tracy Novick will sue the city if they try to stop you from getting cash-money.
Mr. Matthews said, “I want to at least have a one-bedroom or two-bedroom apartment where I can raise my family, be happy, not have to struggle every day. I work these little dead-end jobs all the time and am not making ends meet. I make more money signing in a day than I do working a job.”
Bullshit. Because as you can see, we spoke to his former employer, and he was making more money while he was actually working than he was holding a sign. And those jobs were not “dead end jobs” by definition. They were dead ends because he made them dead ends by not doing his job very well. But why blame yourself when you can blame other people, right? The Turtlegram will buy into and make you some sort of Dickensian protagonist.
“A lot of jobs don’t want to take me because of that (criminal record),” he said. “Other than that, there’s no reason I can’t get a job. It’s just battling to get these jobs from the college kids, from the people who already have these jobs.”
Oh yea, I’m sure it’s really hard to compete with a college kid. What kind of employer isn’t looking to hire a seasonal employee who will leave them when school starts in September? That makes TONS of sense.
He said Emily and her fiance, Mr. Robertson, fixtures under the Green Street bridge, “make a boatload because they’ve been in this spot for a while. They’ve got a bunch of regulars that come by.”
Oh good. The veterans make more money, so they never leave the profession. That’s just swell!!!
Emily stressed she is no longer homeless. After living on the streets in Worcester for five years, she now does have a place to stay, a room in Spencer. She takes the bus here each day to help Mr. Robertson. “I sign with my fiance to help him make money,” she said. “I’m a girl and can get more money.”
Wait…..she lives in Spencer (of course) and she takes a bus every day to Worcester so she can hold a sign because girls get more money? Hey idiot, why not take the bus to Worcester to get an actual job? Nah, that requires too much pride and personal responsibility.
Anyway, this is just so typical of the Turtlegram. This is what they do. They highlight everything that is wrong with this city, and then they find a way to blame it on society, or institutional racism, or some other bullshit, instead of holding people accountable. If this were a real newspaper the Turtlegram would’ve found people who knew these idiots before they became homeless so they could find out the REAL story. But as usual they left that up to Turtleboy.
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