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Warning to female turtle riders in the Leominster area – there is a guy dropping PCP in unsuspecting women’s drinks at a local tavern.

This definitely happened exactly how she said it did. And posting that you were at a bar and drinking alcohol right before you got in a car and crashed it is definitely a smart thing to do. There’s no way a schlong wrangler would ever get drunk on her own and crash her car into a house.

The first thing you should do when you see a post like this is instinctively believe her and ask how you can share it.

Then share your thoughts and prayers and tell her to demand a full CSI investigation.

Whatever you do, DO NOT express any sort of doubt that knob jockey like this could possibly just have been sloshed.

Because she was drug tested at the scene of the crash, which is how they found out it was PCP.

FACKS!!! Everyone knows that police administer drug tests at the scene of the crash and the results are given almost instantaneously. This comment only further validates her already believable story.

Oh, and when the EMTs got there she was blacked out and had to be revived with smelling salts in the ambulance (after she was tested for PCP of course).

Except EMTs don’t use smelling salts to wake drug addicts up from their slopqueef slumbers. Regardless, she’s probably just confused since she’s been through such a traumatic event.

Don’t worry though – the cops are on it.

I’m sure they’ll just ignore the fact that she’s a well known junkbox who just so happened to crash her car at 5 AM, hours after the bar closed.

And the fact that her Facebook page has since been shut down totally doesn’t make this a million times more shady.

Sadly for Victoria the bartender at Miranda’s got wind of the post and disputed it on the Leominster Unites Facebook page (which she’ll likely be kicked out of shortly after their Gestapo admin Nicole sees it).

I dunno y’all, I think I still believe her. No one has ever made up a viral lie for attention on Facebook. White chicks in their 20’s never do that. Ever. Plus, she’s a junkie and junkies are like George Washington – they cannot tell a lie.