Nudniks

Schlong Wrangler Gets Roofied With PCP At Leominster Bar, Crashes Hours Later, Says She Wasn’t Drunk And Drug Tests Administered At Scene Prove Innocence

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Warning to female turtle riders in the Leominster area – there is a guy dropping PCP in unsuspecting women’s drinks at a local tavern.

This definitely happened exactly how she said it did. And posting that you were at a bar and drinking alcohol right before you got in a car and crashed it is definitely a smart thing to do. There’s no way a schlong wrangler would ever get drunk on her own and crash her car into a house.

The first thing you should do when you see a post like this is instinctively believe her and ask how you can share it.

Then share your thoughts and prayers and tell her to demand a full CSI investigation.

Whatever you do, DO NOT express any sort of doubt that knob jockey like this could possibly just have been sloshed.

Because she was drug tested at the scene of the crash, which is how they found out it was PCP.

FACKS!!! Everyone knows that police administer drug tests at the scene of the crash and the results are given almost instantaneously. This comment only further validates her already believable story.

Oh, and when the EMTs got there she was blacked out and had to be revived with smelling salts in the ambulance (after she was tested for PCP of course).

Except EMTs don’t use smelling salts to wake drug addicts up from their slopqueef slumbers. Regardless, she’s probably just confused since she’s been through such a traumatic event.

Don’t worry though – the cops are on it.

I’m sure they’ll just ignore the fact that she’s a well known junkbox who just so happened to crash her car at 5 AM, hours after the bar closed.

And the fact that her Facebook page has since been shut down totally doesn’t make this a million times more shady.

Sadly for Victoria the bartender at Miranda’s got wind of the post and disputed it on the Leominster Unites Facebook page (which she’ll likely be kicked out of shortly after their Gestapo admin Nicole sees it).

I dunno y’all, I think I still believe her. No one has ever made up a viral lie for attention on Facebook. White chicks in their 20’s never do that. Ever. Plus, she’s a junkie and junkies are like George Washington – they cannot tell a lie.

18 Comment(s)
  • Judge. Dread
    November 14, 2018 at 4:46 am

    Alright first off I’d u get dusted you don’t get roofied. You’re not roofied. This bitch has to get her drugs straight. You get roofied by I dunno roofies like GHB. If u get dusted the first thing your gonna is get naked and fight cops.

    Pcp doesn’t roofie you. News flash angel dust is the same. Either this stupid bitch never smoked a soppy or she is just reading shit on Wikipedia to get Internet likes.
    Neither does ketamine (another dissociative) so hands down the story is bullshit.

    Yet another stupid idiot on FB.

    • Judge dread
      November 14, 2018 at 4:52 am

      This kinda shit pisses me off because it’s super super rare to find pcp

      • Judge dread
        November 14, 2018 at 4:58 am

        It’s really really rare to find phencyclidine. Chances are if they’re smoking this shit is because it’s embalming fluid.

        • Judge dread
          November 14, 2018 at 5:03 am

          I’m just saying phencyclidine is one of the hardest drugs to find. Hands down.

  • November 13, 2018 at 12:16 pm

    Anyone notice that barnicle she tried so hard to hide with lipstick, on the right side of her bottom lip?

    Story is totally true! I was told by a guy, who’s friends with a guy, who know’s a guy named guy, who knows this other guy. that guy said its true because he knows a guy, that was told by another guy, that some guy knows a guy who knows this other guy who knows her.

    Total bullshit. The police do not administer drug tests on the side of the road. Shit they dont even test drugs when they find them in someone’ car.

    They used magic wake up ammonia viles to wake up a person who was passed out on the side of the road. Yeah, no, just no. You’re definitely not passing out if you were given pcp. Yeah totally believable! She should have came up with a better lie than pcp. Now if she said ghb, flunitrazepam I might believe her, but pcp lol no.

    Why are people so fucking insane? Why is it everyone wants to play the victim card? Is playing the victim and making you self look oppressed the new fad or something? I genuinely want to know, I dont understand it. Can someone please explain to me why people do such idiotic shit like this?

    I’m starting to think alot of these people are sniffing ajax. If not, maybe they need to start.

  • Bill Cosby
    November 13, 2018 at 7:49 am

    I’d hit it.

    Wasn’t me, though. I have an alibi from midnight to 6am though.

  • Quay Lude
    November 12, 2018 at 9:22 pm

    True story. Years ago I was in Daytona Beach during spring break. Chatting with a girl in a bar I went to the restroom, came back and finished my drink. Then boom! I was legless. She helped me back to my hotel room, took off my clothes and violated me! Did I complain? Fuck no it was awesome…

  • NPCindy
    November 12, 2018 at 6:25 pm

    Believe all wahmen

  • Clitty Litter
    November 12, 2018 at 3:56 pm

    Know how I know she’s fibbing?
    She finds it hard to believe there’s PCP in Leominster.
    That’s where they grow it.
    Ever here of Johnny AngelDustSeed?
    Guy pimp walks the area sprinkling the shit everywhere.
    Damn Leominster legend.

  • Jimmy Toot Toot
    November 12, 2018 at 11:16 am

    Junkie or not, id smash

    • vicx1
      November 12, 2018 at 12:08 pm

      I would roofie that in a flash

  • Turtz McGurtz
    November 12, 2018 at 10:50 am

    Welp, getting roofied is closely associated with sexual assault, and we gots to believe victims of sexual assault, so i believe Victoria. I don’t see any other choice.

  • Dick Kurtz
    November 12, 2018 at 10:38 am

    What are the odds that she has at least one of the following tattoos: 1) dream catcher 2) some biblical verse or maxim on her rib cage 3) birds flying away from the word “Believe”

  • Smokey
    November 12, 2018 at 10:02 am

    Girl needs to work on a better story. She would’ve ended up in Deebo’s pigeon coop, not in a car wreck.

  • Alonzo Harris
    November 12, 2018 at 9:56 am

    Yeah, I know you got secrets. Everybody got secrets. Didn’t know you liked to get wet, dog.

  • Cliff Huxtable's Alter Ego
    November 12, 2018 at 9:42 am

    Don’t look at me, folks……I”m currently incarcerated and incapable of “pudding” drugs in any young girls drinks.

    • The Ghost of Arnold
      November 12, 2018 at 10:13 am

      You ain’t getting any of that ”huggy buggy” shit with PCP. Unless you want a bitch jumping out the third story window and punching through windshields this probably wouldn’t have been your weapon of choice.

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