So the Telegram and Gazette hasn’t reported this yet, largely because they’re run by hacks like Jim Normandin, who aren’t very good at their jobs. But they fired veteran political cartoonist David Hitch yesterday, and consequently Chris Sinacola, the editor of the editorial board got pissed off, walked out the door and quit. Both have been there since the beginning of time. Naturally when the Telegram makes cuts they DO NOT get rid of Clive “Spanky” McFarlane.
It’s too bad too, because David Hitch cartoons and Diane Williamson columns were probably the only worthwhile contributions left at that rag. The dude actually did satire on local stories, and unlike Clive, he seems to understand the pulse of the city. Take this cartoon for instance:
It’s funny because it’s “bring your gun to school month” in the Worcester Public Schools. Of course you can infer while looking at this cartoon that Mr. Hitch favors police officers and cameras in the school, largely because the teacher looks so on edge.
So when Jim Normandin went to go make his cuts he could either cut – a) a race-baiting, no talent hack, who got into an ongoing pissing match with a local blog that is actively stealing advertisers, and inadvertantly increased the blog’s audience by thousands, or b) a talented cartoonist who most seem to enjoy. Of course he chose the latter.
Clive likes to bitch and whine about racism a lot, but let’s be blunt about this – why do you think Spanky still has a job? It’s certainly not because of his merits. Last I checked he is the only writer for the Telegram who has a #noclicksforclive campaign against him. The elephant in the room is what we’ve all known for quite some time now – the Telegram could NEVER fire Spanky because it would lead to an investigation by the Circlejerk and Justice Department, and Al Sharpton would be here by Thursday.
The ultimate proof that we’re winning is in Clive’s physical appearance. Just look at how gray Spanky has gotten ever since Turtleboy started owning his brain:
We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again – the Turtleboy Sports Revolution is a REAL revolution. It’s a revolution in how the news is reported and consumed. When’s the last time the Telegram announced a hiring spree? Oh yea, never. But they are ALWAYS cutting people. That’s because the Telegram is part of a dying industry. They’re losing revenue for three main reasons:
1) You have to pay money to read their online articles, while the rest of the world consumes free news.
2) No one reads the paper anymore.
3) They’re losing revenue because the Telegram charges such OUTRAGEOUS prices for digital advertisements.
For instance, Turtleboy Sports has average rougly 600,000 page views for the past two months. Our advertisers are all seen on every single article we write. Our prices are Spags-esque. Meanwhile here’s what the Telegram charges for 445,000 page views (155,000 less than Turtleboy):
$3,501 per month. That’s fucking INSANE. Only a complete moron would spend money like that and expect any sort of return on their investment. But they HAVE to charge this much. After all, Clive McFarlane drives a BMW convertible and writes two columns a week. Someone has to pay for his health insurance and gas money.
Meanwhile when you advertise with Turtleboy, this is what our loyal turtle riders do:
That right there is a media and marketing revolution, the likes of which the world has never seen.
Naturally, we’ve stolen a bunch of advertisers from the Telegram, and we’re going to continue to do so in the future. Because Turtleboy is a superior form of media. Our takes are hotter. Our writers are better. Our readership isn’t the same five guys (atomicrob, traveller, honiaku) arguing in the comments about Obama being a Muslim.
Naturally the Telegram hasn’t made this announcement yet, because they’re a bunch of gutless cowards on a sinking ship, too afraid to show the world that their product is failing. But we all know it is. And our ship never sinks. That’s why you ride the turtle.