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So our expose on the the Spencer woman who has been running GoFundMe scams and using her kid to swindle money out of people, has led to allegations that Turtleboy is not a “real journalist.” Whatever that means. Let’s look at what the Telegram and Gazette’s newest intern, an Assumption student journalist named Katie Severance, has to say about this on the Facebook machine:

HAHAHHAHA. Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you the next Samantha Allen:

Might be the funniest thing we’ve seen all year!! Let’s go over all the dumb things she just wrote:

• We get all of our information second hand. Right. Kind of like the Telegram and Gazette and every other media outlet. Pay no attention to the fact that the Telegram is 90% AP stories and 5% New York Times and other Gatehouse media stories!!!
• We get a lot of our information right from the source themselves, often times because they post something they shouldn’t have on social media. Other times we interview people directly or find out information that only we have access to because people come specifically to US with news now.
• “Wait for the Telegram and Gazette to break a story so you know it’s verified.” Newsflash – the Telegram gets their stories from Turtleboy. Here’s a link to the many, many times Samantha Allen has blatantly taken our work and not credited us. We caught a road race cheater with documented evidence that only we had access to. Three days later she wrote the same exact story. We wrote a story about the 15 best cut through streets in Worcester. She wrote this in the comments section:

• Five days later she wrote the same exact story. But please, tell me more about why we should wait for the Telegram to report on a story. After all, they do such a bang up job and have such hard hitting reporters as Samantha Allen on the payroll.
• My favorite part is when she says “those of us professionals, such as myself.” Newsflash – interns are not professionals:

• Speaking of interns, if you are a college student in the New England area and are interested in getting some blogging in under your belt, send us an email or message us on Facebook. College campuses are gold mines for hippie nonsense. If you ever wanna get something off your chest anonymously about what is going on on your campus, this is the outlet to do it. If you’re good then we can keep you on staff and compensate you for your time. You too could be Turtleboy!!
• Blogging is the future. People like Katie Severance are entering a dying industry and they’re butthurt that everyone on their Facebook page is sharing Turtleboy blogs and not the Telegram’s drivel. They can’t come to terms with it, and they certainly can’t handle the truth, so this is how they lash out. A Turtleboy Sports internship is a million times more valuable than an internship at a newspaper that won’t exist in 20 years.

• The Telegram and Gazette has lost almost all of their best reporters over the last couple of years. Some of them formed the Worcester Sun, others work at Masslive. Because at the end of the day it’s cheaper to pay Sam Allen or some other inexperienced nobody, than it is to give a raise to the guy who has been there for 30 years. Everyone’s a whore for page views in this industry. Everyone.

Katie really is a perfect fit for the Telegram though. After all, she’s a self-proclaimed hippie:

So you know where her allegiances lie. Plus she’s doing stuff like this:

Poor Katie. It’s just such a bad look when you’re literally begging people to share your articles and vote on your Twitter poll. If people are interested they’ll click on it, read it, and share it. That’s how this industry works. Talk to your coworker Spanky McFarlane. He is the KING of clickbait. Just last month he said that when Councilor Michael Gaffney uses the gavel at City Hall it will sound like a “slave master’s whip cracking” to black citizens. That’s how you get page views when you’re working at a rag like the Telegram. Just make shit up.

Then there’s this genius:

LOL. Here we go again with the “I figured out who Turtleboy is” hilarity. Who was the source for that anyway? Oh yea, the ever reputable “Buffalo Bruises.” A website whose owner is being sued for defaming a Bills charity group, has had their content removed per a court order, and is currently in contempt of court and facing jail time. Newsflash – you’ll never know who writes this stuff because there are too many of us. That and the fact that nobody cares who writes for Turtleboy. People just want the truth and people who pen under the nom de plume “Turtleboy” deliver it to them time and time again.

But please, tell me more about how you need a degree in journalism to be a legitimate news source. Sure, Ariana Huffington, David Portnoy, Will Leitch, and basically everyone else who runs a successful blog in 2015 doesn’t have a degree in journalism. But that’s what you are SUPPOSED to do!!! You’re SUPPOSED to get a journalism degree and everyone else who doesn’t isn’t a real reporter!!!!

Meanwhile you can just ignore all the facts we provided about the GoFundMe scams, because we got our information directly off of Sammie Holland’s Facebook page. Cue the imaginary Internet lawsuits!!

So many strong points being made there. Every time I see an Internet lawsuit I get a little Atticus Finch in my pants and this song immediately starts playing in my brain:

Hey Jenny Davio, come on down!! You’re the next moron of the week on Turtleboy Sports!!! Because at the end of the day it’s laughable that anyone would think that you could be brought charged with defamation for simply taking screenshots of what other people put on a publicly viewable Facebook page.

P.S. Sammie Holland may or may not be a huge Turtleboy fan:

We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages.

Want to have your business advert seen by over 1.2 million people per month? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

Follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook

Click on the image to get your Turtleboy Sports Revolution hoodie or browse other merchandise from the Turtleboy store.