Nudniks

Telegram Intern Says Stop Sharing Turtleboy Stories Because Only Professionals Like Her Can Report The News

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So our expose on the the Spencer woman who has been running GoFundMe scams and using her kid to swindle money out of people, has led to allegations that Turtleboy is not a “real journalist.” Whatever that means. Let’s look at what the Telegram and Gazette’s newest intern, an Assumption student journalist named Katie Severance, has to say about this on the Facebook machine:

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HAHAHHAHA. Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you the next Samantha Allen:

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Might be the funniest thing we’ve seen all year!! Let’s go over all the dumb things she just wrote:

  • We get all of our information second hand. Right. Kind of like the Telegram and Gazette and every other media outlet. Pay no attention to the fact that the Telegram is 90% AP stories and 5% New York Times and other Gatehouse media stories!!!
  • We get a lot of our information right from the source themselves, often times because they post something they shouldn’t have on social media. Other times we interview people directly or find out information that only we have access to because people come specifically to US with news now.
  • “Wait for the Telegram and Gazette to break a story so you know it’s verified.” Newsflash – the Telegram gets their stories from Turtleboy. Here’s a link to the many, many times Samantha Allen has blatantly taken our work and not credited us. We caught a road race cheater with documented evidence that only we had access to. Three days later she wrote the same exact story. We wrote a story about the 15 best cut through streets in Worcester. She wrote this in the comments section:

  • Five days later she wrote the same exact story. But please, tell me more about why we should wait for the Telegram to report on a story. After all, they do such a bang up job and have such hard hitting reporters as Samantha Allen on the payroll.
  • My favorite part is when she says “those of us professionals, such as myself.” Newsflash – interns are not professionals:

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  • Speaking of interns, if you are a college student in the New England area and are interested in getting some blogging in under your belt, send us an email or message us on Facebook. College campuses are gold mines for hippie nonsense. If you ever wanna get something off your chest anonymously about what is going on on your campus, this is the outlet to do it. If you’re good then we can keep you on staff and compensate you for your time. You too could be Turtleboy!!
  • Blogging is the future. People like Katie Severance are entering a dying industry and they’re butthurt that everyone on their Facebook page is sharing Turtleboy blogs and not the Telegram’s drivel. They can’t come to terms with it, and they certainly can’t handle the truth, so this is how they lash out. A Turtleboy Sports internship is a million times more valuable than an internship at a newspaper that won’t exist in 20 years.

  • The Telegram and Gazette has lost almost all of their best reporters over the last couple of years. Some of them formed the Worcester Sun, others work at Masslive. Because at the end of the day it’s cheaper to pay Sam Allen or some other inexperienced nobody, than it is to give a raise to the guy who has been there for 30 years. Everyone’s a whore for page views in this industry. Everyone.

Katie really is a perfect fit for the Telegram though. After all, she’s a self-proclaimed hippie:

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So you know where her allegiances lie. Plus she’s doing stuff like this:

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Poor Katie. It’s just such a bad look when you’re literally begging people to share your articles and vote on your Twitter poll. If people are interested they’ll click on it, read it, and share it. That’s how this industry works. Talk to your coworker Spanky McFarlane. He is the KING of clickbait. Just last month he said that when Councilor Michael Gaffney uses the gavel at City Hall it will sound like a “slave master’s whip cracking” to black citizens. That’s how you get page views when you’re working at a rag like the Telegram. Just make shit up.

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Then there’s this genius:

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LOL. Here we go again with the “I figured out who Turtleboy is” hilarity. Who was the source for that anyway? Oh yea, the ever reputable “Buffalo Bruises.” A website whose owner is being sued for defaming a Bills charity group, has had their content removed per a court order, and is currently in contempt of court and facing jail time. Newsflash – you’ll never know who writes this stuff because there are too many of us. That and the fact that nobody cares who writes for Turtleboy. People just want the truth and people who pen under the nom de plume “Turtleboy” deliver it to them time and time again.

But please, tell me more about how you need a degree in journalism to be a legitimate news source. Sure, Ariana Huffington, David Portnoy, Will Leitch, and basically everyone else who runs a successful blog in 2015 doesn’t have a degree in journalism. But that’s what you are SUPPOSED to do!!! You’re SUPPOSED to get a journalism degree and everyone else who doesn’t isn’t a real reporter!!!!

Meanwhile you can just ignore all the facts we provided about the GoFundMe scams, because we got our information directly off of Sammie Holland’s Facebook page. Cue the imaginary Internet lawsuits!!

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So many strong points being made there. Every time I see an Internet lawsuit I get a little Atticus Finch in my pants and this song immediately starts playing in my brain:

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Hey Jenny Davio, come on down!! You’re the next moron of the week on Turtleboy Sports!!! Because at the end of the day it’s laughable that anyone would think that you could be brought charged with defamation for simply taking screenshots of what other people put on a publicly viewable Facebook page.

P.S. Sammie Holland may or may not be a huge Turtleboy fan:

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Want to have your business advert seen by over 1.2 million people per month? Email us at [email protected] for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

Follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook

Click on the image to get your Turtleboy Sports Revolution hoodie or browse other merchandise from the Turtleboy store.

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42 Comment(s)
  • Sad yet Profoundly Determined Detractor
    February 4, 2016 at 3:36 pm

    I’m so upset. I’m suing you!! I went to journalism school so I know the ins and outs of slander and first amendment rights better than you!! I screenshot everything!! I worked really really hard being super serious at school writing about ALL the dances and ALL the new bubblers at school newspapers and then EVEN HARDER wearing fake pearls and pantsuits and bringing the old editors with their inappropriate comments about my “future here wink wink” coffee for four months and I DESERVE to be listened to way more than a fake journalist. A fake turtle person who steals all the ideas in Worcester it’s no fair!!! My daddy told me if I went to college it’d make me successful however I want and I did everything! WHY why aren’t people interested in MY stories??! Stop!! STOP WORSHIPPING TIRTLEBOI HE ISNT LICENSED LIKE I AM ITS NOT FAIR LIKE MEEE HES A MAVERICK SPOUTING NON NEWS ALL WILLY NILLY PLEASE LIKEEE MEEE WHIMPER

  • Jake from State Farm
    December 31, 2015 at 8:21 am

    Katie, you got to admit TB just made you look like a fool. BTW, traditional media like major newspapers and network news is dying because of liberal bias. Or sad differently, no journalistic integrity.

    TB has taught you a valuable lesson though …..

  • Jafreese
    December 30, 2015 at 11:09 pm

    So you’re telling me that someone who is in school for journalism and has an internship position needs to be told that blogs are not the same as a news organization, and doesn’t require a degree? That really is some mind blowing stuff right there. Almost as ironic as Jenny trying to “inform” us that you don’t have a journalism degree. Thanks for the newsflash, toots, but we kind of already knew that and don’t care.

  • Alicia Aguilar
    December 30, 2015 at 9:57 pm

    I friggin love Turtleboy!!

  • Deeznutz
    December 30, 2015 at 10:01 am

    Dear Turtleboy,
    Long time reader, never even glance at the comments section. I HAD to leave one today, though! The freakin turtle costume and the fact that Ms. Severance obviously needs social media to get ahead in life and needs turtle boy’s articles to plagiarize from. She couldn’t survive at her PROFESSIONAL INTERN JOURNALISM job without you! Sadly she also needs shitty people like Sammie Holland who she obviously knows through school or they might even live near each other and bump into each other at parties and the local wal mart. Great writing, I love a good blog!
    D

  • Quincy
    December 30, 2015 at 7:06 am

    Yep….new flash to that lady…most people who work in the journalism “industry”, don’t even have journalism degrees. I have quite a few friends who write for national newspapers, magazines and high profile job….want to know what they have in common…not a single one has a journalism degree. Most have degrees in English, or Political Science.

    People need to except the fact that blogs and online sources are REAL NEWS from real people, without an agenda. Can’t say the same for all the tv and news stations, owned by the same 4 families.

  • Publius
    December 29, 2015 at 11:00 pm

    However, anyone who gets there “news” exclusively from a blog defines dooshnozzle. Blogs are news? LMFAO. Same goes for the precious little ones, precocious really, who would repeal 1stAmendment because of offensive comments or worse, hurt feelings.

  • Publius
    December 29, 2015 at 10:47 pm

    TB fills the void and does the job the T&G is unwilling or unable to do. Expose malfeasance and corruption in City government and elsewhere. TB drives the news. Just look at the hits coming from City Hall network.

  • DPHS Senior
    December 29, 2015 at 9:23 pm

    If it makes you feel better, just say that this is only a blog and not real journalism ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

  • JayC
    December 29, 2015 at 6:31 pm

    “Wait for the Telegram and Gazette to break the story so that you know what your reading is verified, COMPLETELY TRUE, and that the source you are getting your news from has spoken to someone associated with the case.”

    T&G… “Completely True” reporting… Hahahahaha!! What type of indoctrination is going on at Assumption that she thinks the T&G reports any resemblance of truth? Their reporters are second rate at best and columnists are blatantly full of shit. Not only does the T&G lack journalistic integrity, they aren’t even remotely objective with their lefty liberal slant. Is it any wonder the papers best use is as a fire starter.

    It’s not too late for Katie to get some fake ones and switch to broadcast media. When NBC bails from Channel 7 they maybe looking for some fresh blonde haired, blue eyed bimbos to save keep some viewership.

    • Wabbitt
      wabbitt
      December 29, 2015 at 6:40 pm

      Why would NBC ditch channel 7? Short of starting up a new station, there aren’t exactly a lot of unaffiliated stations left in the Boston market.

      • JayC
        December 30, 2015 at 2:12 am

        There were a stories in the Boston Herald, a newspaper with decent reporters not afraid to ruffle feathers and do some digging, and Boston Globe, only marginally better than the T&G after Meteorologist Pete Bouchard jumped ship to NECN, a cable station owned by NBC. Looks like NBC will own and operate their own station, WNEU 60. So when Channel 7 is left the CW network and barely anyone interested in its product, Katie can move to TV and know what it’s like having worked at the lackluster T&G.

  • Steve Bloom
    December 29, 2015 at 6:04 pm

    Turtleboy is shock reporting that’s it, very little value to the community! Who the F$%K would wear one of those stupid sweatshirts? Can’t say Ive ever seen anyone with one, so that should answer that question………DUH!

  • Matt from CT
    December 29, 2015 at 5:55 pm

    Journalism School was one of the downfalls of the newspaper industry (along with a number of others.)

    It used to be reporters were hired out of high school to report on their hometown or maybe, just maybe when they returned home with a liberal arts degree and were taught how to report by senior reporters and editors. I knew some still left at the T&G in the early 2000s who were, hired on well before Woodward & Bernstein made it a fad occupation.

    They knew BS, and they knew their communities.

    With J-school, you almost inevitably have to go work in a community you don’t know, where you have no friends or contacts or family history to get the story. You know, “sources.” They came by the early 1990s to rely on press releases from public information officers who they lacked the skills and abilities in most cases to question and determine the validity of what they were told. It’s just the nature of J-school — your hometown paper is unlikely to need a reporter the year you graduate so you had to move to make a living.

    It was ridiculous to listen the Boston Globe wring their hands internally how hard it was to find people of color in J-school to hire to report on Dorchester and Mattapan. Because God Forbid you couldn’t go to Roxbury Community College and post an ad that said you were looking for folks interested in becoming reporters who you would train (you know, actual interns learning a craft instead of the faux interns doing gopher boy work we have running rampant in society today). If they weren’t Journalism school graduates and they weren’t capable of being reporters.

  • Angela
    December 29, 2015 at 4:22 pm

    I absolutely despise turtleboy sports the only “news” they report is completely idiotic. They call people names and think its journalism. You all should be ashamed of attacking a girl trying to be something in this world. So what if she said you dont verify stories. Grow up and do a story on how you do verify your sources.

    • Skeptical
      December 29, 2015 at 4:57 pm

      TB doesn’t verify most of his sources. Just googling “fact checking turtle boy sports” and you’ll get tons of results that link to accurate information totally contradicting claims made in the referenced TBS article.

      But that’s none of my business.

      • Deeznutz
        December 30, 2015 at 10:04 am

        Yeah because googling only gives you fact-based information… Idiot

  • Young Townie
    December 29, 2015 at 2:59 pm

    I know a girl who is living in the Twilight Zone. She graduated high school in 2003. At that time she lived in her parents’ house, drove a 2003 Honda Civic and worked at Starbucks. Now that is 2015, she has a BA in English and an MBA in journalism. She has spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on education. Today she still lives in her parent’s house, drives a 2003 Honda Civic and works at Starbucks.

    Traditional journalism is dead.

  • Mandy
    December 29, 2015 at 2:42 pm

    I use the telegram to let my puppies piss and shit on it to train them … I thought that’s why they gave it to me in the mail for free … :-/ anyways it works great for that 🙂

    • GFY
      December 30, 2015 at 8:13 am

      Your house must smell good, try putting them outside to shit

    • GFY
      December 30, 2015 at 8:13 am

      Your house must smell good, try putting them outside to shit

  • Do unto others
    December 29, 2015 at 2:27 pm

    I cannot stand the Telegram. They never get the stories right. I have watched reporters take down the information first hand, and then still get it wrong later. Honestly the Landmark reporters do 10x better. Katie Pippi Longstocking Severance is getting a hard dose of reality. Time to grow up my dear, you are leaving the womb of college and facing the real world.

    • Angela
      December 29, 2015 at 4:27 pm

      Wow way to jump on the bandwagon. And your name really?? Do unto others that was totally lost on you wasnt it

  • juror seven
    December 29, 2015 at 2:26 pm

    It’s fucking Spencer, the inbreeding capital of Worcester County. What do you expect.

  • Elaine
    December 29, 2015 at 1:39 pm

    Great, just what this world needs…another hippie “journalist”.

  • Nagaga
    December 29, 2015 at 1:35 pm

    Turtleboy please stop. If you don’t, these townie shills will kill themselves

  • Ngyft
    December 29, 2015 at 1:30 pm

    Turtleboy please stop. These townie shills are going to kill themselves if you continue

  • Ngyft
    December 29, 2015 at 1:30 pm

    Turtleboy please stop. These townie shills are going to kill themselves if you continue

  • eva ohop
    December 29, 2015 at 1:28 pm

    after years of buying the telegram I have stopped because most of the stories and news they post I have already seen on the internet!!

  • Ugh
    December 29, 2015 at 1:19 pm

    Please stop being inaccurate.

    • Barak OTurtle
      December 29, 2015 at 10:36 pm

      How was he inaccurate?

  • WormtownorBust
    December 29, 2015 at 1:04 pm

    Katie deserves junior smokeshow status.

    • Wabbitt
      wabbitt
      December 29, 2015 at 6:32 pm

      Not into blondes, but she looks like she’s got a little cushion for the pushin. So I can dig it.

  • Frogshit
    December 29, 2015 at 12:41 pm

    I AM TURTLEBOY!

  • Turtle fan
    December 29, 2015 at 12:40 pm

    I love turtleboy. Since the very first article I read I have been a fan and check in daily. As far as the telegram, Half the time telegram posts incorrect information. I have seen quite a few of there articles edited after they provided incorrect info.
    As for this Sammie Holland girl, she should just crawl back under the rock she came out of to take that license photo. Brush your hair!!! Holy crap! And really defamation of character. She obviously doesn’t realize how social media works. You post something and anyone can do or say anything they want about. It’s called free speech. As long as ur not directly threatening her life. She will look like an even bigger asshole than she already does trying to get this into the worcester courthouse.

  • BlackandWhite
    December 29, 2015 at 12:26 pm

    twat waffle

    I’m LMAO!

  • December 29, 2015 at 12:22 pm

    Bad life decisions, nobody under 60 reads the telegram. Shes young, hopefully she can rebound and doesn’t get sucked into the telegram vortex. If not look me up on sugardaddymeet.com

  • Maggie the Cat
    December 29, 2015 at 12:13 pm

    Poor Katie Margaret is living in the past. Newspapers will always be somewhat useful, but blogs are the wave of the future. Many people no longer trust “professional” news to tell them the truth. Blogs fill the gap left by publishing the truth (except for Old Balls’ blog, of course).

    • Wabbitt
      wabbitt
      December 29, 2015 at 6:30 pm

      Well, Fox News and CNN are supposedly professional journalists, and look at all of the stupid shit they churn out.

      CNN thought a flag covered in cock caricatures was an ISIS flag, for fucks sake!

  • ninja turtleboy
    December 29, 2015 at 11:52 am

    literally lol’ing @ Sammie in her turtleboy costume

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