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Back in the day we would respond to every single email and Facebook message we got at Turtleboy Sports. But since we’ve grown, this has become impossible. We literally get hundreds of messages a week, many of which are recommendations for potential stories to write about. And we love it because it saves us a lot of time scouring the Internet for stuff to write about. So please, keep em coming. But at the same time, understand that if we don’t get back to you, it’s nothing personal. We just don’t have a secretary and we’re working on getting an intern.
With that said, we wanna show you an example of what NOT to do when pitching a story. On December 2, 2015, we got this hot tip from a turtle rider, about a story he considered blogworthy from Algonquin Regional High School in Northboro:
STOP THE FIGHT!!! You’re telling me that a suburban high school is charging kids $100 for a parking spot, and an assistant principal at the school is trying to collect that money?? Holy freaking shit!! What a story!!!
I remember reading this message and the second I read this, “disseminating child pornography when the 2 streakers ran out at the football game when he showed it to other students from his personal phone in an attempt to identify them,” I stopped taking him seriously. We reported this story about 2 Algonquin seniors who streaked during a football game while wearing Obama masks. We even included the video. Guess that means that Turtleboy is disseminating child pornography too. Or it could just mean that a vice principal was trying to do his job and find out who ran across a high school football field naked. HUGE STORY!!!
And how about all those undocumented, unproven anecdotes!!! Man, he sure gave us a lot to go on there. The assistant principal is trying to break into student’s cars!! Must be true because some random guy on the Internet who doesn’t go to school there says it is.
And if that’s not convincing enough, the student newspaper tried to get answers and they were “strong armed” by the bully of an assistant principal!!! How dare he not answer the hard hitting questions from the student newspaper.
Then there’s the fact that the principal has allowed his vice principal to “cart blanche” do as he pleases. Can you believe that? Delegating responsibility to a subordinate? Madness in the halls of Northboro I tell ya!!
What people don’t realize is that the David Prouty, and the Vernon Hill Elementary stories didn’t just happen on their own. They took, hours, and hours, and hours of research. More importantly, we were able to write those stories because we got a lot of confirmed and documented stories from primary source witnesses. We pick and choose what we write, and the two things we’re looking most for are, 1) juicy stories that people would be interested in reading, and 2) credible sources who give us documented information.
The fact of the matter is that people are interested in a story about a tyrant principal who forced 10 of her 19 teachers to leave the building. And lots of people would like to know about an entire school district that has reached such chaos that students were forced to walk out of class and occupy the gym all day. But no one gives a shit about an assistant principal at Northboro who is trying to collect $100 for parking fees.
Anyway, we didn’t respond. Because we only respond to 10-20% of messages at this point. It’s nothing personal, we just don’t have the time or resources to get back to everyone. This guy was SHOCKED that we didn’t take him up on his hot tip though. So he sent this message to us on December 30, which we ignored out of spite:
No dude. We’re not. Especially since you can’t spell pursue. You should’ve taken the hint when we didn’t write back to you. We thought we’d heard the last from him, but then we got this today:
I mean, how mad is this guy that we didn’t write his stupid story? How can anyone NOT write about this amazing scandal about $100 parking fees from Algonquin Regional High School? Who out there wouldn’t wanna know more about that?? How dare we not respond to his emails.
You know who this guy is? This is the guy who never understood when a hot girl wasn’t interested in him growing up. The guy who couldn’t take a hint. The guy who finally forced the hot girl to yell, “LEAVE ME ALONE,” because being nice was getting her nowhere. That’s Turtleboy. Turtleboy is the hot girl. And we finally reached our breaking point with him. We let him know that we get hundreds of messages, so he copy and pasted his original message again.
That was the POLITE way of saying, “your story sucked, your idea was terrible, and we never even remotely considered doing anything with it because we have a million other things to do that are more important.” But apparently he didn’t care for it:
We haven’t and we never will. You’re just not one of them, so get over yourself. You got us here? Were you reading Turtleboy before Busgate? You buy a hoodie for Christmas? No? Then you did nothing to help us get where we are. Literally nothing. You clicked on a few blogs while you were on the can. But please, keep giving yourself all the credit for the Turtleboy Sports Revolution. Tons of other people have pitched ideas to us which we haven’t followed up on, but you’re the only asshole who couldn’t let it go when we didn’t take you up on it.
More than anything, it’s about being polite. We didn’t care for this guy’s tone. He was too demanding about us writing this story. The women who sent us stuff about Laughlin Kennel and Spencer-East Brookfield were really nice. And we didn’t get back to them the first time either. But they were persistent in a nice way. They didn’t act like we owed them something. They just kept hounding us and saying, “You guys have done good stuff before and I really think you could help out here too.” We appreciated their diplomacy and took them up on their stories, and we’re glad we did.
But he just kept on going:
See what I’m saying? It “NEEDS” to be told and investigated. So we have to drop everything we’re doing to investigate his pile of unproven anecdotes. He literally has given us NOTHING except for a bunch of unproven “facts” about child porn and opening female car doors. Newsflash dude – turtle riders would MUCH rather read a blog about our ongoing war with Colrain than they would about your personal vendetta with your kid’s vice principal. It’s not getting old. People dig it. And there will be new Colrain’s coming in the future because making people butthurt is what we do best at TBS. So we let him know this:
This forced him to take his ball and go home:
Newsflash – you’re not going anywhere. There’s a hundred a fifty percent chance you’re reading this blog right now, because even the people who supposedly hate Turtleboy Sports still read it every day. Just ask Old Balls. That man has reptile on the brain!! Don’t worry though, we didn’t include your name because it’s just too embarrassing. Plus we know you’ll be back and commenting in no time, and we didn’t want you to be too humiliated to use your real name. Because even though you’re a little butthurt right now, you’re still welcome back abroad the turtle once you get over this stupid non-story that no one cares about.
P.S. How long until this guy starts posting Buffalo Bruises and Spanky McFarlane while opining about the “real identity” of Turtleboy?
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Want to have your business advert seen by over 1 million people per month? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.