This Week Just Keeps Getting Better – Police Academy Reject Constables Are In Deep Doo-Doo With The RMV For Their Creepy Cop Impersonation

Turtleriders, I have a serious question – what the fuck did I do to deserve such amazing karma this week? Honestly. I don’t want to jinx it because my generally shitty demeanor is most likely not worthy of such karmic bliss bestowed upon me by the Universe – but apparently I slipped into a loophole somehow and here we are. Josh Abrams got taken down to the ground by some fed up Boston cops who had no time for his bullshit that day, 35 Antifa terrorists were arrested, and American hero and badass judicial American hero Justice Richard Sinnott refused to let any of it slide for social justice’s sake, because we’re sliding downhill into a lawless jungle and he has no time for that shit, either.


Then Josh Abrams and his sloppy sidekick set their own YouTube channel on fire, we unmasked another Antifa terrorist who just happens to be a middle school teacher, and now – this:



“The Massachusetts Registry of Motor Vehicles is taking action after they recently received reports that Massachusetts Constable’s Office cars cars had blue lights, excessive window tint and markings not allowed on passenger vehicles.

The RMV determined the constables cars don’t qualify for blue lights and scheduled a hearing.

The RMV said the Massachusetts Constable’s Office missed the hearing and as a result, the RMV revoked the registration for one vehicle and ordered them to remove the lights.

You could see the blue lights in the body camera video provided to 5 Investigates by the Massachusetts Constable’s Office.

The lights were turned on as part of a pursuit that ended with a man wanted on a criminal warrant being shocked with a stun gun in Lowell while he was lying on the ground.

The attorney for Darryl Hines, who found the Massachusetts Constable’s Office, told 5 Investigates Hines is appealing the ruling.

The attorney called the action a continued pattern of harassment against Hines, pointing out a jury cleared Hines of firearms charges filed by Massachusetts State Police in 2017, all related to whether Hines and his constables are in fact law enforcement.

5 Investigates first started looking into the powers of constables in Massachusetts three years ago, after an unaffiliated constable shot two Boston police officers.

Our reporting revealed that laws about constables haven’t been updated since Colonial times and, as a result, constables have powers to make both criminal and civil arrests with no oversight or training required.

The Massachusetts Chiefs of Police Association crafted a bill to restrict constables to civil work such as serving divorce papers and eviction notices, which is what most constables in Massachusetts currently do.

That bill has remained stuck in a committee on Beacon Hill until now.

After seeing the recent body camera video and 5 Investigates latest reporting, leaders in the state House and Senate are promising a hearing this fall.

There are also questions about pictures showing blue license plates on Massachusetts Constable’s Office vehicles

The RMV says it ordered the Massachusetts Constables Office to surrender those plates two years ago, which under current law. Constables argue they are allowed to do.”

HAHAHA. Fuck you, fake cop wannabes. No, you can’t have cars that look like police cars – because you’re not police, no matter how hard you try.


You’re not a cop,

And you’re not a cop,

And you’re not a cop,

And this….


is patently absurd.


No sir, I will not. Unless you’re serving me divorce papers or a small claims summons, get a real cop and leave me the fuck alone.

I love this. Shortly after they got ambushed by a media that refused to play into their LEO hero delusions, their website changed quite a bit too. No mention of “criminal warrant apprehension”, no flashy photo slide of clowns dressed up as police, no stupid blog with weak justifications for their elaborate game of dress-up cops and robbers. Looks like someone’s running scared, Officer-Principal-Mayor-Chief of Nothing Hines.

How do you suggest touch boobies without my flashy lights? Roofies? A personality more enjoyable than an inflamed hemorrhoid? Only one of those things is legal, and I’m only willing to try two. You guess.


WCVB absolutely killed it with this story – I have so much respect for what they uncovered. I do want to point out that one little detail of this new development belongs to us, though –

The blue plates. That idiot held on to them for for two years. How does one become so pathetically desperate to be a police officer with exactly no skills, qualification or merit? Seriously, Darryl, who hurt you and turned you into such a self-important megalomaniac? It’s creepy AF, bruh. You are creepy as fuck.


This is bullshit. I completed my required 45 hours of GTA 5 and an addition 20 hours of Law and Order Reruns.


The only thing that would have made this better, honestly, is if we were able to have a fake cop v. cop block showdown. Clown vs. Clown, police impersonator vs. pretend activists with a paypal account.

Unfortunately, Abrams is in jail, his circlejerk of idiots is on fire, and the wannabe chief and his merry band of costumed idiots have to give up their Tonka truck cop car accessories. All in all, it’s been a great fucking week, though. I guess we can just do a showdown like this:

Who’s mugshot is better?




30 Comment(s)
  • john
    September 9, 2019 at 12:21 am

    Ya know…Its funny how people come on the internet behind a keyboard and say the un informed Crap they say.

    Guys Seriously if your going to Lambast someone at least do it without ignorance at least be informed or have an open mind to the subject matter.

    Look I have watched this Channel 5 Story from beginning to current and it doesn’t take a a lot to see thru the BS……here. Cmon the News station is not your friend, never has been Never will Be. its all about what is sensational, nothing more nothing less, cmon guys can’t you see that.

    This Constable like it or not Didn’t do anything wrong as the law would have it. What he did do wrong and to his detriment is he exploited current laws and loop holes, nothing more nothing less. Thats all

    And some ( Mass Major Chiefs of Police Brian Keyes) and the like do not like it.

    Understandable So, but at the end of the day what he did is Mild…Fuckin Mild compared to what some cops have done ( Natick/Framingham police search warrant that happened within days of the Constables Attempted Arrest).

    Look if your an LE or involved in LE in any sort of way you get it. The media is NOT your Friend, never has been Never will be, your know this ( if your smart enough).

    Hines may have done himself in and for what? for free? Yup seems that way. But he wasn’t wrong in what he did. He exercised his Authority ( which hasn’t been used in 100 Years) and Now look he’s been lambasted and shit talked and his character has been Shot to shit.

    For what? For an act that he was duly authorized to do and at his expense the Major Mass Chiefs of Police are going to exploit the Shit out of him.

    You have to ask yourself Why….Most Constables could careless about Criminal Warrants, seriously Most don’t give a Shit, But its the Criminal Authority that allows them to Do Gas Shut offs for the gas Company, Its the same authority that gives Powers of Arrest for evictions and Seizing property.

    Logistically If you take those powers away they got nothing, they become process servers, maybe that what you want and that’s OK but what about the Mass Sheriffs? There authority Mirrors Constables with the exception of dollar amount served per case and Jurisdiction ( which Constables get around by rule of 4C )To date Constables have fewer issues than all the Mass Chiefs of police Combined as far discipline and criminal activity.

    Look read between the lines here Why is the “Major Mass Chiefs Of Police Association” Even exists? why is Chief Brian Keyes pushing hard for this? Ive read post he claimed he doesn’t and that it channel 5’s option to run there Storie as they see fit. I Call BS, because Channel 5 actually contradicted Chief Keyes is say the Mass Major Chiefs Support the Hill to Eliminate Constables.

    Chief Keyes is inline for the Director Of EOPSS cmon seriously don’t be so naive here.there are political moves being made and everyone is Up in Arms over this Constables Hines who did nothing but Expose and Exploit the weakness’s of our Magna Carta and laws.

    99.9 % of Constables do not go over the edge but the current laws in effect whether they be old and antiquated or not is what gives them authority to do what they do.

    What should change here is there over sight and what should come of this is just that absolute OVERSIGHT…ie like that of Private investigators, its just that simple. This isn’t that complicated Nor does it have to be.

    Ask a Constable that is actually functioning and making money in the field and what he’ll tell is you is you have to get rid of the Shit. And he’s right get rid or weed out the Shit Heads.

    Hines exposed something the Chiefs of police didn’t want exposed, And that is Law Enforcement Councils, he found a way to do the very same thing the Mass Chiefs Of Police Do, Create an LE Council and you now have a Private Police Dept.Under the control of the Chiefs of Police.

    Thats a lot of Power for a few people to have don’t you think?

    Especially when the MSP already has those Teams in place…Very well trained and Supplied.

    Look is this really about blue lights and Police Plates?

    Who gives a shit about Police Plates? technically the Sheriffs Shouldn’t have them either. They should only be for regular Municipal police..end of story!

    But again C268A S1 paragraph G Hines exploited and a couple other MGLs as well. should it be corrected? Absolutely

    But so should the LECS as well and why should the Sheriff be the only warrant grabbing/process Server in the State?

    Private organization like MIT, Harvard,BU,BC and the like all have commercial plates, so why do the Chiefs gets police plates under the LECS?????? They shouldn’t and you cops out there know it.

    This is not a one sided deal, but the Chiefs and channel 5 and those friendly with the state rep who filed the law think it should be.

    So in the end Ok get rid of Constables the state will survive because in addition to being the biggest drug deal in the commonwealth they will also be the biggest controller of the other assets as well.

    If your a Cops cops and your here do make a difference then you’ll agree, But if your of the mindset that the state should control everything……Well move to China and that should work for you.

    Other than you guy need to read between the lines here, this is not about Constables but more about a power Grab.

    OK my personal disclaimer here if my spelling is wrong and my grammar sucks forgive me I was typing super fast and more than likely to some degree I may sound like a 3rd grader,LOL forgive for I have Sinned.LMAO

    • Real_Finn
      September 9, 2019 at 9:27 am

      John (definitely your occupation),

      You “Look is this really about blue lights and Police Plates?”

      No, you dumb twat – constables leave the heavy lifting to the the police. According to their own page : “[when it comes to criminal matters] we mainly leave those other functions to the local Police Departments unless authorized to engage once we have notified them.”

      That’s right – they don’t serve like the police do (i.e. put themselves in danger). They’re excellent at serving warrants, evictions, summons.
      Constables also do NOT need any training to be a constable. However, anyone seeing a blue plate assumes they are police. You know your splitting hairs.

      Get Fucked,

      p.s. no one is going to read your wordy “essay” about why you think you should be have blue plates.

    • Taxpayer...
      September 9, 2019 at 10:08 am

      “Look is this really about blue lights and Police Plates?”

      And several thousand dollars in unpaid fees & taxes for each vehicle.
      The irony of those who chase down deadbeats being deadbeats themselves…

      “And that is Law Enforcement Councils, he found a way to do the very same thing the Mass Chiefs Of Police Do, Create an LE Council and you now have a Private Police Dept.Under the control of the Chiefs of Police.”

      That’s an issue that the State Ethics Commission is going to have to deal with sooner or later, if the US Attorney doesn’t first, but it’s a *different* issue.

  • Deputy Dawg
    September 7, 2019 at 6:38 am

    There are more out there, though. I still wonder what insurance company these “fake cops” use for their fake cruisers. Does Geico offer a special “pursuit package policy?”

    • Dr. Ed
      September 8, 2019 at 8:31 pm

      Are they even insured? Most municipalities “self-insure” which means they just pay the claim out of general revenue or (if large) their general liability insurance.

      Hence the RMV wouldn’t say anything about them not having insurance.

      It’s another aspect of the blue plates needing to be investigated.
      As an aside — Lifeline Ambulances do NOT have blue plates — they have white ones.
      As should these clowns, if they were real cops, as their vehicles are privately owned.

  • Silencio Dogood
    September 7, 2019 at 3:08 am

    a nice baby blue plate for these feigning pee-boys may be better, with Constable Hines himself sporting an emasculated pink tag, as the incredible shrinking man of his own myth, who has less authority and jurisdiction than Abrams in the lockup shower.

  • Kmart Blue Light Special
    September 6, 2019 at 4:08 pm

    Da RMV aint shit muthafucka. My girl Rachel gonna fix all dis shit.
    We be oppressed reppressed and depressed and we aint gonna take it no more. Its our time our streets our interpretation of da law and most importantly our culture.

  • JoeMomma
    September 6, 2019 at 2:13 pm

    Halloween is right around the corner, they will get to wear the costumes one last time.

  • LEC me!
    September 6, 2019 at 1:56 pm

    The Constable Law Enforcement Council sometimes called “ConstabLEC,” is a regional mutual aid facilitator formed by 45 police agencies in the area near Boston, Massachusetts. It pools resources to provide SWAT, canine, hostage negotiation, computer crimes, motorcycle and other units throughout the area.

    • Not Smart Enough For a Witty Name
      September 6, 2019 at 2:32 pm

      Negative, Ghost Rider. Perhaps you’re thinking of the real LECs, ie. NEMLEC, MetroLEC, SEMLEC, etc… Those are comprised of (real) full-time police officers who are assigned by their respective departments.

      • Taxpayer
        September 9, 2019 at 10:18 am

        But at least one of those told the ACLU that it was a *private* organization — which is the ethics violation, public resources (men & equipment, private entity). That’s gonna get messy.

  • Dindu cops
    September 6, 2019 at 1:44 pm

    Thats the real joke along with judges how many leos were kept from jobs for these affirmative action clows.

  • randiguy2006
    September 6, 2019 at 1:16 pm

    Wait…now we LIKE the RMV?

    So fucking confusing around here.

    • The Vorlon
      Kosh Naranek
      September 6, 2019 at 2:05 pm

      Even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while….

    • Hugh-Bo Mont
      September 6, 2019 at 2:40 pm

      The RMV has a huge spotlight on it now. But don’t worry, the RMV “inner circle” will slide by unscathed.

  • no spam
    September 6, 2019 at 1:08 pm

    Remember you heard it from me on a previous story comment WRT the blue light permit required by MA RMV for having blue lights on personal cars and motorcycles. Lots of people have blue lights installed in their personal vehicles, but if you get bagged and can not produce the permit ( it looks just like a car registration BTW) you are going to get a CH 90 ticket for the display of blue lights at the least, or an impersonating an officer charge at worst.

  • Stunt Penis
    September 6, 2019 at 1:07 pm

    the website still does mention arrests, you have to look for it on one of the sub-pages.

  • Today's Movie Episode
    September 6, 2019 at 12:56 pm

    The RMV’s secret and deadly serious assignment is to do whatever it takes to enable illegal immigrants to vote. The strategy includes issuing phony driver licenses and ignoring reported driving violations that might reveal the falsity of the phony licenses issued. Going after these weirdo constables gives the public the false impression that RMV is taking its real job seriously, while in reality RMV is simply taking out a fringe group whose actions might actually cause an illegal immigrant to lose his or her illegal driving, er, voting, privileges.

    Another Cinerama event brought to you by the Massachusetts chapter of the national Democrat hackerama.

  • Special Elite Constable SWAT Rescue Unit
    September 6, 2019 at 12:41 pm

    I wonder if the Boston Police called these guys for backup on Saturday. They would shit their pants if they were there or they would have started shooting. No training = bad outcomes

  • Two Patch Crappy Jack
    September 6, 2019 at 12:33 pm

    And it gets even better! Jazzy Jasiel was just arrested! What a week!

  • Real_Finn
    September 6, 2019 at 12:26 pm

    Am I the only one that gets incredible douche chills just looking at those assholes posing like they’re they police? I had to look away.

    Police without the academy!

    That’s like signing up for 10k race and opting for the 1 mile “fun run”.

    Get Fucked,

    • Realestatepup
      September 6, 2019 at 1:10 pm

      OMG I was totally thinking the same thing. I was hoping TBS would already have blogged about it.
      How can this guy not learn to lay low is beyond me.

  • Dr. Ed
    September 6, 2019 at 12:18 pm

    You missed the best part — Blue (Municipal) plates are FREE.
    Free because they are Municipal, not cop.

    No registration fee, no excise tax, no sales tax — because municipalities are tax-exempt.
    Follow that one — he owes some $$$

    • Hubert
      September 6, 2019 at 1:04 pm

      You are partially correct Dr
      But there are municipal plates and there are police plates. Both have no fees attached to them other that required state inspection every year just like regular cars. There are also fire plates and plates assigned to every state agency.

      • Dr. Ed
        September 6, 2019 at 2:53 pm

        No — get some town/city cop to show you the vehicle registration. It’s Municipal, with a TYPE of “police” but still “municipal” because the vehicle is owned by a municipality. Whom the cop works for…..

        This is why MSP don’t have blue plates…

        And Id love to know what the state ethics commission has to say about blue plates on peivate vehicles…

        • Hubert
          September 6, 2019 at 10:58 pm

          It’s municipal police Dr. if you were to run the plate like you run every other plate you put MP in front of the other characters. At least that’s what I was told

          • Dr. Ed
            September 7, 2019 at 3:29 am

            Correct, but college police (who I believe are “Special State Troopers” or something) have PAN plates on their cruisers — they are allowed to have blue lights, but not Municipal Plates (of any type). It’s who owns the vehicle, not who’s driving it.

            My point has to do with the “Municipal” aspect of this and not the “Police” aspect of it — the RMV screwed up badly issuing Muni plates (of any type) to a PRIVATELY-OWNED vehicle, with them being MP plates only making it worse.

            In other words, even IF they had a legitimate right to call themselves “police” and put blue lightbars on the roof, they STILL couldn’t put a blue plate (of any type) on any vehicle not owned by a municipality. That’s fraud — criminal fraud.

  • Well Done Uncle
    September 6, 2019 at 12:11 pm

    All good news and all brought to light by TBS.

  • Make it happen!
    September 6, 2019 at 11:51 am

    That’s a brilliant idea for a debate!

  • z
    September 6, 2019 at 11:41 am

    Better mugshot? Left side.
    He’s doing his best Ben Stiller Zoolander impression. It’s not great but he’s trying.

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