Our boy Benny Boy Allbright claimed he was hacked by the Russians today. I shit you not this really happened:

Just to be clear – 99% of people who claim they were hacked are lying. Don’t take my word for it, just ask Benny Boy.

I honestly can’t stop laughing at this.

He (probably) wrote a bunch of shit in Russian, pretending to be the guy who hacked his account (probably), disputed his own IT expertise (probably), called himself a pathological liar (probably), and ransomed the account back to himself (probably). Magically it was restored within a couple hours and he announced that he had deleted a bunch of tweets.

Statement:

I've deleted nearly my entire tweet history.

This was me doing it, it wasn't due to account compromise earlier. Honestly, I've been a pretty terrible person over the years. Trolling Flat-Earthers & moon fake conspiracy guys w/ obvious nonsense, brow-beating people

— Benjamin Allbright (@AllbrightNFL) August 22, 2019

Basically everyone’s starting to realize what a psychotic pathological liar this dickwad is, and a lot of his old tweets are coming back to bite him in the ass, so he went into cleanup mode. Unfortunately for him screenshots are forever. (probably) Let’s relive his top 10 greatest hits.

10. Lived in Chicago 3 years “during Jordan,” even though “during Jordan” clearly implies the 90’s, and he wouldn’t have been old enough to remember and appreciate Jordan when he says he lived there.

9. Grandfather was involved in moon landing.

8. Scored high 140’s on MENSA.

7. Grandma was 100% Native American, yet he’s 1/4 Jewish and 3/4 German.

Our historians have found documented evidence of his ancestors on the Trail of Tears.

6. Great Uncle was a speechwriter for Rockefeller.

5. Speaks tons of languages, including Greek, Latin, Hebrew, Arabic, and English.

4. Majored in pretty much everything.

3. All his family (except his 100% Native American grandmother) is from Europe and changed their name from Olbrecht. His great uncle, who was killed by a firing squad, was one of the masterminds behind the Valkyrie plot.

2. He’s from the mean streets of Chicago, East St. Louis, Kansas City, Little Rick, Tampa, and now Denver.

Fact check – true.

1. His great Uncle Ollbrecht tried to kill Hitler in the Valkyrie plot, so the rest of his family fled the Nazis after bravely hiding Jews (even though 25% of them were also Jewish and/or Native Americans living in Europe).

But let’s be honest – he’s being modest. He hasn’t even mentioned his time leading the Continental Army.

Or the fact that he was chosen by Dick Cheney and George W. Bush (albeit reluctantly, since he’s such a loose canon) to lead the invasion to get Sadaam.

He fought valiantly at D-Day.

Iwo Jima

And Nam.

He was injured by in the line of duty and luckily was bunked up with his favorite Lt.

For his courage under fire he received awards from three Presidents in a row.

He made appearances on late night TV shows.

And being the noble, principled, whistle blower that he is, he also participated in the vets against the Vietnam War march in Washington.

And while he was there he attended and ruined a Black Panther party.

Finally he went to go visit the whore who used him for sperm so she could give birth before dying of AIDS.

And coming soon to a runway near you….

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