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Fitchburg has a lot of problems it needs to work on. The roads suck. People kill each other. No one speaks English. The schools are falling apart. Espressos marinara sauce tastes like Ecto Cooler.

But a local resident has discovered an issue so shocking it may require federal intervention…..

Silly ratchet, Trixi is a skid!!

I thought I’ve seen everything you could possibly be outraged by already. But every day the Internet gives me something like this and I go right back to work.

First of all, “D is for Dollar General” is the most phonetically Fitchburg thing ever.

Secondly, this is a really cool way for kids to learn. It helps them associate letters with things they see in their environment. I never heard of Zaxby’s before, but I would imagine that’s not the easiest letter to come up with.

Thirdly, there’s nothing wrong with consumerism. Do you make your kids close their eyes when you drive down the John Fitch Highway? Consumerism brings us quality products at a fair price and employs millions of people. Everyone consumes shit every day. No one is buying your fake self righteous indignation.

Her boy toy Zach showed up to defend her honor in the comments, as she was rightfully being mocked….

Oh yea, Market Basket and Marshall’s are totally NOT consumerism. Great point genius.

“I’d rather the kids learn car than Cumberlands.”

Yea, good thing Ford doesn’t make any cars.

I thought we were getting trolled once these comments started showing up….

Surely no one could be this dumb.

But then I remembered I was on the Discussing Fitchburg Now Facebook page so anything was possible….

“If it ain’t broken, don’t fix it.”

Have you seen the people from Fitchburg who end up on our blog? I assure you it’s broken.

She continued….

Books, cars, apples – good thing none of those are consumer products.

As it turns out this was actually a project that kids put together last year…..

And teachers, who unlike Trixi is a skid, actually have experience in pedagogy, think it’s a good thing…

Nah, I think I’ll take their word for it instead:

P is for pubestache!

She has offered at least to make a new set to hang up:

Here’s some things she could use in Fitchburg if they really wanted to help kids associate things they see every day while riding through the Burg…..

A is for abortion

B is for Bone ride

C is for crackheads

D is for DCF

E is for Easter

F is for Food stamps

G is for Grundle

H is for Hep-C

I is for Inside you

J is for junkie

K is for Kid Cock

L is for Level 3

M is for Moose

N is for No fucks given

O is for Oxys

P is for Prison

Q is for Queefpie

R is for Relapse

S is for Square

T is for Triggered

U is for Unemployed

V is for Value

W is for Wendy’s

X is for X marks the spot

Y is for You win

Z is for Zero fucks given

Yay learning!!