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Yesterday we called out one of Ware’s finest, named Kevin Blackmer, for typing this insensitive post on Facebook:

Not good.

Well somehow we missed by far the most hilarious part about Kevin’s (why is every dooshnozzle we write about named Kevin?) Facebook page – the About section:

Let’s just break this down one piece at a time……

My name is Kevin Michael Blackmer, some people call me Blackmer, GHO$T, Black Bear, Street Sweeper The Grim Reaper, K.B. Eemiani, KBlack, Kev, Kevo, ect, ect.

One of your many street names in Ware is “Street Sweeper?” I’m sorry, was “Garbageman” already taken? That might be the worst street name in the history of wannabe gangstas.

I grew up and lived in a whole lot of Cities, Town’s and so on and so forth… I grew up in and outta Ware, Mass as well and im a wildboy straight out of the 413-757-804-508 & many more.

Translation – my Mom once made me sleep in  sleazy motel room in Southbridge when she was on one of her benders.

I’m all about God, a Higher Power, & Practice many beliefs.

Interesting. Didn’t know you could practice many beliefs. Thought it was kind of a “pick one” deal. But I guess when you’re the Street Sweeper you can practice as many religions as you want. So what does he believe in?

Including Buddhism, The Philosophies & Studies of Bruce Lee and many more.

Ah yes, the philosophies of Bruce Lee. Because the studies of Jackie Chan are just too mainstream.

God put me here to please all Women, make bank, and retire at a young age with the right Women when the time is right.

Nice. Got that ladies? God put this man on earth to please you:

ALL of you. Things are obviously going great for him, as you can see by his grasp of the English language and residence in Ware. He’ll be making bank and retiring at a young age in no time. Better go to him for pleasure soon before he rescinds his offer.

I can’t wait to settle down and have a Family. When the time is right. I lived my whole life in the fast lane and still do.

Thank God he hasn’t reproduced. Phew. Was worried there for a second.

Just in smarter aspects and quiet action. As well as live(d) a constructive life in a destructive way. It’s time for a change. Continue to monopolize my Business and sit back and retire at a young age on a beach with a beach house too.

Man, this guy’s got life all figured out. As soon as he works on monopolizing his nonexistent business he’ll be ready for a beach front retirement where he can live off his nonexistent 401K.

When I meet a Woman who deserves it. I’m going to give Her, our families and I the life we all want need and desire straight up and I got everything it takes to do so.

Yea, don’t rush it into it or anything. It’s not easy finding a woman who deserves all of this:

You gotta sell high, and the price is still going up.

I can’t wait to get back into playing Hockey, Bmx, Fixing Car’s, Boxing & Brazilian Jujitsu again. There’s nothing better then the natural high’s in life. I love knocking mother fuckers out or breaking their jaws legally in the ring.

So many life goals, so little time. Wish I had life figured out like this.

He’s also started firing back at his critics who weren’t too fond of his homophobic Facebook posting:

Yea, no one is ever gonna kick his ass, because he’s protected by God, Jesus Christ, AND Satan. Because they’ve been known to work together to protect loud mouthed nudniks with bad facial hair.

Hail satan. Wait…..I thought he was a Buddhist/Bruce Lee follower. How many masses and goat sacrifices does this guy attend on a weekly basis?

And rants like this seem really normal:

For real yo. If you stop Street Sweeper from raising the $15 he needs to get a copy of his birth certificate then he’s literally gonna kill you. Luckily he’s got it all planned out and he’s going to plead temporary insanity for a reduced sentence. Although I’m pretty sure this post would indicate that the hypothetical revenge murder was premeditated. Might wanna delete this one Gho$t.

Oh yea, and if you guys are looking to have someone taken out by a true professional, you’re in luck:

Seriously inquiries only. He’s a very busy hitman who doesn’t have time for bad leads. Although as a commenter pointed out when he saw this picture of Street Sweeper:

This doesn’t exactly pad his resume:

Good point.

I also don’t like it when my hitmen get arrested:

And yea, as hilarious as this guy might be, someone might wanna let the Ware Police Department know about some of these posts:

Yea, he just might be a complete psychopath. Plus, you tell me who this picture resembles:

Just sayin:

Just like Omar Mateen, the Street Sweeper would probably be a lot more chill if he just came out of the closet already. It’s not normal to hate gay people that much while simultaneously being controlled by Jesus, Satan, Buddha, and Bruce Lee. Oh, and mother nature too:

Last thing. We got an email from an anonymous Ware resident who had the misfortune of knowing Street Sweeper. Here’s what they tell us:

He’s wanted in 3 states Ma FL and VA, and took off to AZ to be with his mommy. He never leaves her side…ever. He grew up smoking crack with her. He has another man raising a kid who doesn’t know he even exists. Funnier for a gay bashing homophobe because he checked himself into a psych ward for superseded memories of molesting his own brother as a kid and he himself was molested at 3. He claims he’s in all kinds of gangs 2015 it was Aryan brotherhood 2016 he switched to bloods…oh and used to be Folk? He is on the run from police so lives in Arizona in a little mud shack with his mommy, a toothless crack head.

Looks like Street Sweeper doesn’t have to turn his life around at all. He’s living in a wigwam in the desert and getting ready for retirement in the Bahamas. Sucks to be everyone else!!

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