Turtle Riding Babes Read Mean Messages To Uncle Turtleboy To See If They Can Make Me Cry 


A few years back sports talk chicks Sarah Spain and Julie Dicaro were praised for being brave and stunning because they had some actors read mean tweets directed at them and tried not to cry. Pretty cringe.

The mainstream media ate this bullshit up because they love to present women as weak minded simpletons who are always being victimized. Meanwhile these are influential people on major media networks, they have hundreds of thousands of social media followers and the blue checkmark legitimizing them. If you’re in the spotlight then that then mean tweets come with the territory. Anyone who wants to whine about it has no business being in the public eye. Twitter has a block function. Try using it and shut the fuck up because no one cares about mean things that trolls write on social media.

I thought the segment was especially hilarious considering the fact that I get much, much worse than that on a daily basis, despite having a smaller following. But do you see me whining about how hard men have it online? Nope. Because I refuse to play the victim when I’m not one. To test this theory out I went through my inbox on ONE Facebook page, screenshotted a handful of mean messages and had three turtle riders come on the live show to read them to me. Could they make me cry? Watch for yourself.

Here’s some of the messages they read for your viewing enjoyment. Remember, mean messages from people who don’t matter only has an effect on you if you let it affect you.  The Internet is an ugly place. If you’re not built to deal with shit like this then you’re not ready for the Internet.



Remember, this was just from one account. We’ve had dozens of Turtleboy accounts. It happens every day, and it’s really not a big deal. Anyone who whines about mean tweets is an attention seeking asshole.



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43 Comment(s)
  • Silencio Dogood
    March 9, 2020 at 12:21 am

    Oi Uncle,
    the time has come to stop feeding the beast, it will only take what you say and internalize it in an adipose heart, and spewing it back from a cloaca’s ego, misconstrued and hate-filled. might i suggest when you are tempted to plug in to this shite again, remove yourself from the Brainbox and do something useful, like cleaning the basement? Aunty Turtle will appreciate it as well.

  • White Trash
    March 7, 2020 at 10:03 am

    Sweet pics, you forgot the duck face selfie but these are even more trashy.

  • Kirk and TB on suicide watch
    March 7, 2020 at 1:16 am

    Stop being a bitch,who dressed you trump? You look like a cardboard cutout of a passenger on Jeffrey Epstein’s plane. Poor kid thinks if he puts the camera close enough he looks tough what a pussy. Have you always had issues around women?

  • soothsprayer
    March 6, 2020 at 10:52 pm

    I liked you better when you kept your identity hidden

  • ChipChipperson
    March 6, 2020 at 10:18 pm

    I see your chin trembling. Admit it, after the camera was off you cried in your mother’s arms.

  • Jack Dawson
    March 6, 2020 at 8:27 pm

    Turtleboy is now a blog that basically chronicles the daily existence of turtleboy, what the fuck is happening, every blog is about the inner drama of this guys life now, even the blogs that aren’t about him somehow become about him in the middle of the story. Insufferable. Please go back to legit stories about rachets before you hit the iceberg and it’s too late.

    • mearanerin
      Dr. Who
      March 6, 2020 at 10:52 pm

      That’s what I’m sayen!

  • mearanerin
    Wait What?!?!
    March 6, 2020 at 8:10 pm

    He isn’t a bit bothered by hate mail or negative comments? Wait, isn’t this the same guy that’s been pissing and moaning every other blog about what he/she said on discord or whatever social media sight he is currently stalking for screen shots. No wonder his computer sucks so fucking bad it’s overloaded with screen shots of comments he’s totally bothered by. He said he rarely reads the comments on his page yet stalks 10 other internet sights to see what people are saying about him. I think he’s a paranoid hypocrite. I can’t believe he posted excerpts from the other person’s YouTube channel. That’s just weird. Dude your losing it. Either find a new storyline or get off the internet and spend some time with your “Crotch Fruits.” I think Unk needs a vacation.

  • Fucked Up Behavior
    March 6, 2020 at 7:17 pm

    Honestly man, when your wife gets home from a long day of work do you honestly have the balls to say to her “Check out what I did all day today honey I took a bunch of goofy selfies and put them out on my blog!!!”?
    That’s some fucked up behavior dude and nothing to be proud of.

  • whatevuh
    March 6, 2020 at 6:19 pm

    Is anyone else getting really sick and tired of Turtleboy’s fucking whining? Stop already, I really don’t care that much. He obviously did something to these women and they are out for revenge, and judging by his face, I wouldn’t doubt it one bit . . . . Karma?

  • Ass Clown much
    March 6, 2020 at 6:11 pm

    Dude what’s with all the goofy reaction poses?
    Honestly man I think one pic would have got the point across. This may be the gayest fucking blog you’ve ever done.

  • Amanda Sawyer
    March 6, 2020 at 5:56 pm

    I will be offering shuttle service around town tonight and Saturday.

  • Grundle Conneseur
    March 6, 2020 at 5:49 pm

    I’d let Mandii Diaz take a huge dump on me and I’d lick her stinkstar clean.

  • BitchTits
    March 6, 2020 at 5:49 pm

    Sarah Spain….. yuck, yuck, yuck. What a disgustingly fugly broad.

    There’s something about women like her. They think they’re attractive but they look like goddamn linebackers with those big fucking shoulders. And they always have big necks. Like Desmond Bryant type necks. Gross.

    Not to mention that smug look of liberalism marinated with used tampons and unflushed toilets. The kind of smugness that would sniff a dirty border jumper’s skid marked underwear just to make sure he was eating well, and then write a dozen tweets about it to gain maximum fucking virtue points.

    If you want to see 9” of white snake go flaccid in less than 10 seconds, show me a picture of Sarah Spain.

  • Riston Borges
    March 6, 2020 at 5:40 pm

    I am a lyrical assassin

  • Sweaty Merkin
    March 6, 2020 at 5:11 pm

    Do I detect a little cabbage?

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    March 6, 2020 at 4:50 pm

    I still love the old post with Craig Cordy: “The lollipop guild is in town!”

    That was a TB classic.

  • Who knew...
    March 6, 2020 at 4:01 pm

    …That Uncle TB would turn out to be such a huge faggot? I give this blog 3-6 months.

    • Don Lemon
      March 6, 2020 at 4:17 pm

      Are you the guy who did not flush?

      • Trevor Noah
        March 6, 2020 at 5:13 pm

        This kinda gives me a chub.

      • Mayor Pete Buttfuck
        March 6, 2020 at 5:42 pm

        That was me sweet cheeks

  • Mayor Marty Walsh
    March 6, 2020 at 3:36 pm

    Bostons first pot shop will open up Monday morning!
    After careful consideration we agreed that Blue Hill ave
    in the Grove Hall section of Dorchester would be perfect.
    Some republicans asked why not on Beacon Hill? Faneuil
    Hall? The North End? Southie?

    Keep being the victims.Keep blaming others for decades of poverty
    and crime.Most important.Get out and vote DEMOCRAT!
    Sleepy Joe Biden and I have got your best interests covered.

    • Giuseppe Zaluchi
      March 6, 2020 at 5:20 pm

      “I also don’t believe in drugs. For years I paid my people extra so they wouldn’t do that kind of business. Somebody comes to them and says, «I have powders; if you put up three, four thousand dollar investment – we can make fifty thousand distributing.» So they can’t resist. I want to control it as a business, to keep it respectable. I don’t want it near schools – I don’t want it sold to children! That’s an infamia. In my city, we would keep the traffic in the dark people – the colored. They’re animals anyway, so let them lose their souls.”

    • KB
      March 7, 2020 at 5:58 am

      The government hates competition, best to pick a well defined market area then tax the shit out of the patrons.

  • Natick Outdoor Store
    March 6, 2020 at 3:00 pm

    @ Sweaty Merkin. You call that a Fudge Dragon?
    Not impressed.”Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen…..”

  • Jane Goodall
    March 6, 2020 at 2:53 pm

    So many beautiful marmosets in one place!

  • Grace Boyle
    March 6, 2020 at 2:33 pm

    I have the Herp guys.

  • JimmyBooms
    March 6, 2020 at 1:57 pm

    Suzanne is a regular Seth MacFarlane with all the voices she did.

    I think Uncle knows it comes with the territory. Other people in the Public Eye aren’t making fun of people who get arrested or fall asleep in a car or steal from Wallmart. They are just doing what they get paid to do without trying to shame anyone. Hey the colorful adjectives are funny sometimes but using them makes people despise you.

  • Strapped for content
    March 6, 2020 at 1:54 pm

    Seems like you’re strapped for content.

    No one parking in a handicapped spot today?
    Not doing “This Day In History”?

    This blog is swirling down the shitter! How much longer before this turd goes down the drain?

  • Turtleboy is right
    March 6, 2020 at 12:57 pm

    “Pretty cringe.”

  • Fred Marks
    Les Grossman
    March 6, 2020 at 12:49 pm

    Jesus… way worse than I would have thought. Holy shit. Haha.

    Still, you know you have big support TB. Just keep remembering that and keep doing what you do.

    • Agreed, Les -
      March 6, 2020 at 4:38 pm

      To paraphrase something that has been making the rounds lately:
      The Flak is always heaviest when you are above the target…
      I think this applies. And TB, there are a lot of us out there and we have your back

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    Old Tom Morris
    March 6, 2020 at 12:26 pm

    Threaten to file a Deformation After David against each and every one them Uncle T. That will stop them dead in their tracks.

    • Austin
      March 6, 2020 at 6:20 pm


      You have never done anything illegal as far as I have read. You hurt bad peoples feelings when they could or have harmed others. I would do the same if I could. Great job and never quit.

      That’s a Man Baby

  • Wames Jood
    March 6, 2020 at 12:13 pm

    This is a cry for help from Uncle TB.


    I was hoping TBS will resurge like Biden.

  • ace
    March 6, 2020 at 12:03 pm

    TurtleWeirdo, you do have a face for radio….

    • Big fan
      March 6, 2020 at 12:56 pm

      Face for radio.
      Conversational skills for print.
      Writing acumen for a failing self-published blog.

  • randiguy2006
    March 6, 2020 at 11:45 am

    Hey numbnuts….the difference is, that woman talks about sports.

    You go after people personally.

  • randiguy2006
    March 6, 2020 at 11:41 am

    Yeah. Its all about you.

    Please post more about you.

  • hank
    March 6, 2020 at 11:36 am

    Sweaty murkin needs some wiping lessons apparently.

  • randiguy2006
    March 6, 2020 at 11:32 am

    You are becoming a an insufferable little attention whore.

  • Bloop
    March 6, 2020 at 11:30 am

    Clearly there are lots of closeted homosexuals looking for you…. also my guess is if anyone wanted to find out where these things live, the first place to look is at the nearest public Housing Authority. No chance these mensa members can afford a house let alone rent in a non subsidized apartment.

    Also, their collective credit score is 3. Boom. Roasted

  • But evidently I was wrong.”
    March 6, 2020 at 11:07 am

    I thought I was the best candidate for president and the American voters especially in Massachusetts and Oklahoma would overwhelmingly support me.

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