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Turtleboy Sports is always looking to improve our product by adding new tricks to our repertoire and communicating with turtle riders. What separates Turtleboy from every other media outlet is our user interaction. We have over 43,000 turtle riders on Facebook. The Turtlegram and Gazette has just under 45,000. Here’s what we get for interaction on a post:
Couple hundred shares. Five hundred something likes. Hundreds of comments. This is how we grow. Because you all interact with us on Facebook. And every time you like, share, or comment on our blogs, every single person on your Facebook roster sees it on their feed. Then they hit the like button, even if they hate us. This is why our Facebook suspensions blow monkey balls. Our entire business model is built around this monopoly of a social network, and there’s nothing we can do about it.
Anyway, compare our posts to your average post from the Turtlegram, which for the moment has more followers than us:
Yup. That one person sure seems excited about this “guest column” about making a case for natural gas. Riveting stuff. This is why they need Clive McFarlane to race bait and Dianne Williamson to rant about Trump, Gaffney, and the Catholic Church. Because without those two picking fights with everyone no one would ever click on a Turtlegram article.
Anyway, our point is that it would be stupid not to use Facebook to our advantage in order to help grow the brand. And all the kids these days are into Facebook Live. I know, I know, the people who use Facebook live are the worst people on Facebook. Like I give a shit that that Masslive is live at a Joe Petty ribbon cutting ceremony.
But they’ve basically handed us a free tool to accomplish two things:
- Make a video podcast without buying any equipment
- Get instant feedback from turtle riders and comment on it in real time
That’s how you make the product better.
Some turtle riders read every single article we publish. But others just can’t find the time because their whiny kids need food, or their boss needs a report, or their employer has flagged Turtleboy as pornography and blocked it, or their husband wants to drill them. Facebook Live gives us the opportunity to review the biggest stories on Turtleboy that you didn’t have time to get to today, or maybe some stories that we just didn’t have time to get to. You can share your thoughts, or tell us what you wanna talk about. The turtle is yours to ride.
So our boy Clarence Woods Emerson did a couple pilot test runs on his Facebook page this week and they went pretty well. And consequently we’re ready for the prime time, and that means the Turtleboy Sports Facebook page is ready to pop her Facebook Live cherry on Friday night. We are tentatively set to go at 7:30. This is not set in stone though, and we will let you know for sure what time tomorrow. We have a special guest for the show, and he’s got a busy schedule. But if any turtle riders are interested in joining one of our Turtleboy Live shows in the future, let us know and we can look into making that happen too.
With that said, here’s tonight’s Facebook Live episode from Clarence Woods Emerson. We started off talking about President-Elect Trump’s dominant, alpha-male press conference today, which was the greatest thing we’ve ever seen on live TV. From there we just kind of talked about everything turtle riders told us to in the comments. We delved into whether or not you would, with all politics aside, jump into the bone zone with Michelle Obama, Maura Healey, and several others who you might have a personal hatred for. We ended with a rap video review of our favorite Thompson CT wangstas. So much to discuss. So little time. Enjoy Turtleboy Live.
We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages.