Turtleboy Facebook Live Show Starts Friday – Here’s Tonight’s Pilot Episode And How You Can Interact With The Turtles

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Our Facebook page is suspended again, so make sure you to LIKE THE LOST BOYS OF TURTLE Facebook page to keep up with our latest blogs.

Our Facebook page is suspended again, so make sure you to LIKE THE LOST BOYS OF TURTLE Facebook page to keep up with our latest blogs.







Turtleboy Sports is always looking to improve our product by adding new tricks to our repertoire and communicating with turtle riders. What separates Turtleboy from every other media outlet is our user interaction. We have over 43,000 turtle riders on Facebook. The Turtlegram and Gazette has just under 45,000. Here’s what we get for interaction on a post:


Couple hundred shares. Five hundred something likes. Hundreds of comments. This is how we grow. Because you all interact with us on Facebook. And every time you like, share, or comment on our blogs, every single person on your Facebook roster sees it on their feed. Then they hit the like button, even if they hate us. This is why our Facebook suspensions blow monkey balls. Our entire business model is built around this monopoly of a social network, and there’s nothing we can do about it.

Anyway, compare our posts to your average post from the Turtlegram, which for the moment has more followers than us:


Yup. That one person sure seems excited about this “guest column” about making a case for natural gas. Riveting stuff. This is why they need Clive McFarlane to race bait and Dianne Williamson to rant about Trump, Gaffney, and the Catholic Church. Because without those two picking fights with everyone no one would ever click on a Turtlegram article.

Anyway, our point is that it would be stupid not to use Facebook to our advantage in order to help grow the brand. And all the kids these days are into Facebook Live. I know, I know, the people who use Facebook live are the worst people on Facebook. Like I give a shit that that Masslive is live at a Joe Petty ribbon cutting ceremony.

But they’ve basically handed us a free tool to accomplish two things:

  1. Make a video podcast without buying any equipment
  2. Get instant feedback from turtle riders and comment on it in real time

That’s how you make the product better.

Some turtle riders read every single article we publish. But others just can’t find the time because their whiny kids need food, or their boss needs a report, or their employer has flagged Turtleboy as pornography and blocked it, or their husband wants to drill them. Facebook Live gives us the opportunity to review the biggest stories on Turtleboy that you didn’t have time to get to today, or maybe some stories that we just didn’t have time to get to. You can share your thoughts, or tell us what you wanna talk about. The turtle is yours to ride.

So our boy Clarence Woods Emerson did a couple pilot test runs on his Facebook page this week and they went pretty well. And consequently we’re ready for the prime time, and that means the Turtleboy Sports Facebook page is ready to pop her Facebook Live cherry on Friday night. We are tentatively set to go at 7:30. This is not set in stone though, and we will let you know for sure what time tomorrow. We have a special guest for the show, and he’s got a busy schedule. But if any turtle riders are interested in joining one of our Turtleboy Live shows in the future, let us know and we can look into making that happen too.

With that said, here’s tonight’s Facebook Live episode from Clarence Woods Emerson. We started off talking about President-Elect Trump’s dominant, alpha-male press conference today, which was the greatest thing we’ve ever seen on live TV. From there we just kind of talked about everything turtle riders told us to in the comments. We delved into whether or not you would, with all politics aside, jump into the bone zone with Michelle Obama, Maura Healey, and several others who you might have a personal hatred for. We ended with a rap video review of our favorite Thompson CT wangstas. So much to discuss. So little time. Enjoy Turtleboy Live.




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10 Comment(s)
  • Rusty
    January 13, 2017 at 11:48 pm

    Trenni is cute from far away, sure. But once she opens her mouth, you have to listen to pure drivel, and my dick would turtle at the sound of her voice. And take a look at those huge George Washington wooden teeth she has. Good thing she’s too much of a prude to ever have a cock in her mouth, because she’s liable to shave the skin right of the tip with those chompers of hers.

  • Steve V
    January 12, 2017 at 10:54 pm

    Comeon SSTG. Join Turtleboss with this endeavor and have some fun. We’d all love to hear what you sound like anyway. You do an excellent job with your articles covering your territory so give a little back to your fans. Comeon girl. Let er’ rip.

  • wtatnuckgangsta
    January 12, 2017 at 3:10 pm

    Got my popcorn and lawn chair ready.

  • Sal Monella
    January 12, 2017 at 8:24 am

    Having no Facebook page nor desire to create one I will happily make better use of my time.

    However, I bet he who shall not be named will participate/observe/disrupt if allowed.

    Hope it goes well for ya!

  • Wwy
    January 12, 2017 at 1:47 am

    Facebook is owned by a kike,no thx. BDS. Stop supporting terrorists

  • BobnMic
    January 12, 2017 at 1:12 am

    TB – you want a little soap opera twist from FiestyLawyerLady and BobnMic together on the show with maybe some points of view that are highly opposite? Verbally combative yet in the end we agree on the same political Ideology, anti SJWs, and other philosophies which again in the end will beg the question – why do not these two people get along? Could be a show called Councilor Clarence. I think it would be funny if Fiesty went for it.

    • BobnMic
      January 13, 2017 at 3:47 am

      Yes new avatar. One of my NFL.com fantasy football teams that won the championship. Funny story. I, for several years, always hand pick on draft day all positions and I do my diligent homework prior. And with that my teams always go at the end of season in either 2nd or 3rd place. Not bad. Not #1 however. Weird phenomenon to follow.

      So this 2016 NFL.com fantasy football season was a total fluke. I had set up a time for a live draft in the beginning. I also had a housing contractor scheduled to come over hours later to do take me on an estimate tour on work that I wanted to have done.

      So the draft was on and I choose QB Derek Carr – nobody picked Brady yet because he was four games out on suspension. I then grabbed Vikings defense because everybody else was all crazy on running backs. Then I went for the top Tight End (Gronk already taken) because that’s the way the game in the NFL is shifting offensively thanks to the Gronk. The old way of fantasy football drafting with RBs first and foremost is becoming history.

      Then BOOM – the contractor shows up early. During the draft. For fuck sake already. Do I say come back later? No – my wife would hit me in the head with her crock pot. And that would leave a big mark on said cranium. Dilemma dilemma dilemma. FUCK! I had to hit auto draft and suck it up.

      Fast forward – this team I am talking about ended up 3rd in the overall standings with a 6 and 5 record clinching a wild card toward the playoffs. Then holy shit. Boom won the first round. Boom won the second round. Then finally in the finals against a team that went undefeated with an 11 – 0 record in the regular season – I won by just over one point.

      Team name: “Party like a Gronk Star” and that we did..

      • Tarbash The Egyptian Magician
        January 15, 2017 at 7:19 am


  • DJ Trump
    January 12, 2017 at 12:05 am

    Turn on, tune in, bust chops.

  • FiestyLawyerLady
    January 12, 2017 at 12:02 am

    Ohh…. I’m so joining a TB live at least once that’s for sure! Do I have to be nice though? Meaning, do I need to behave lol… Banned on FB again on my second account for the 117th time. So, I have to make another one. Perhaps using a different name that sounds more real and not my regular profile picture since “someone” keeps recognizing my face and reporting me.

    This is an awesome idea!

    P.S. Love the fucking accent!! Makes me feel like mine is super cool too… Although, mine is a thick NY accent…

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