Turtleboy Is Breaking Up With Kevin Lynch In Order To Protect Turtle Riders
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As you know, former Fitchburg mayoral candidate Kevin Lynch is batshit insane. We’ve all had a few good laughs reading his many, many rants, conspiracies, and impending massive lawsuits. Sure, it was hilarious when he was firing off names left and right accusing hundreds of people of being in on the Turtleboy conspiracy. But he’s just taking it way too far. The man has the worst case of turtle on the brain that we’ve ever seen. He’s posting pictures of people’s kids and calling people’s employers simply if they liked a comment from a Turtleboy article on Facebook. Not cool.
Then there was that time Lynchy was arrested for assaulting a police officer and firefighter in 2011 (while he was running for mayor), and on his phone they found pictures of the cop’s family from outside their house. CNN speculates that this might have cost him the election to Lisa Wong. Either way, we don’t want any of the loyal turtle riders out there to have this guy hiding in your bushes because you read our blogs.
Technically the things he is doing (posting pictures of people’s kids, calling people’s places of employment) are not illegal, and it’s clear that he’s doing it for attention. Therefore we’re not giving it to him anymore. Because nothing matters more to us than the safety of turtle riders, Turtleboy Sports Management has decided that we will not be blogging about him going forward unless it’s really, really newsworthy. If you wanna keep going at it with him on the many Facebook pages he has created, then more power to you. But we’re done. Here’s a link to the Fitchburg Topix page about some group that is conspiring and having secret meetings about Kevin. We have nothing to do with it.
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