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2013 was another epic year in Boston sports lore. As usual half of our teams made their respective championship series, 75% made their league/conference championships, and we got another duck boat parade. Can’t emphasize enough how awesome this makes us. Clearly we are the chosen people. You know what the heathens in Cleveland would do just to win a single playoff series in any sport? Just once. We do it EVERY FREAKING YEAR. No fan base in the history of sports has been this spoiled for this long. This is clearly not a coincidence. It’s Manifest Destiny and we’re all just enjoying God’s master plan for us.
With that said here are the Top 10 moments in Boston sports for 2013….
10. Jonny Gomes home run Game 4 World Series, October 27.
I will be the first to admit that I never liked Jonny Gomes and my feelings are still the same. I think he’s kind of a garbage baseball player that gets by on the fact that he’s a friendly SOB, a la Kevin Millar. Hell, there are some people that fly thousands of miles to Dallas just to boo him and get free tacos. But I’ll never forget what he did in this game. With the score tied in the sixth inning, in a series in which the Red Sox trailed two games to one, Gomes hit that epic three run smash in the sixth which ultimately gave the Red Sox the 4-2 win. After that the series was never in doubt.
9. Celtics beat Miami Heat, November 9.
The goal for any Celtics fan thinking long term this season was for the Celts to lose as many games as possible – AKA tank for the better draft pick. The last time we tanked we got the fifth overall pick and used to to trade for Ray Allen, which in turn brought us Kevin Garnett. The rest is history. Tanking works. What doesn’t work is mediocrity. That’s why Green’s game winning shot against Miami isn’t higher on the list. The shot was legendary, beat the two time defending World Champions, and best of all was right in the eye of LeBron James. As a Celtics fan though I felt so conflicted. On the one hand it was awesome because there is no team in sports that it feels better to beat than Miami. But at the same time they improved to 3-4 and set themselves up for a potential playoff spot.
8. Brady beats Manning….Again – November 24th.
In case you didn’t hear, Peyton Manning broke every record possible this year. Cool story bro. Still lost to the mighty New England Patriots, mainly on account of Brady completely owning you his entire career. The Manning-Brady debate isn’t really much of a debate. One wins (or nearly wins) every season. The other breaks records and magically turns into Tony Romo in the playoffs. The best part about this win was the fact that the Patriots were losing 24-0 after two costly turnovers led to first quarter Denver Broncos touchdowns. All Brady did was put the entire team on his back and lead the Patriots on yet another historic comeback. Brady or Manning? That’s a clown question bro.
7. This is our f***ing city, April 20.
Those words will live in Boston sports lore for eternity. Massachusetts is the chosen state because we were the ones that stood up to Britain when the rest of the country was offering olive branches and begging King George not to spank them. We don’t give into bullies; we defy them. Want to raid the arsenal in Lexington and Concord and arrest Sam Adams? How bout we just shoot you in the face instead you red coat Nancy Boys. Want to bomb the Boston Marathon? How about we hunt you down and then David Ortiz tells you to go f*** yourself on live TV. Besides the 25 disgruntled people who complained to the FCC, it’s universally agreed upon that this was one of the greatest and most appropriate F-bombs of all time.
6. Kembrell Tompkins catch October 13.
On one of the most epic nights in Boston sports history, Tompkins and Tom Brady were the opening act before the Red Sox smacked around the Detroit Tigers. Just when you had no faith that the Patriots receivers could even catch a venereal disease in a Storyville brothel, Tompkins showed up out of nowhere and caught one of the most legendary passes in Patriots history. Patriots lose that game to the previously undefeated New Orleans Saints and it would’ve been their second in a row and potentially sent the season into a tailspin. Instead Brady did what he does best – win. Unfortunately TurtleBoy was at a wedding and had to watch it on some other goon’s phone. Note to future brides: always check the Patriots schedule before scheduling a wedding. It’s your big day, but you don’t wanna share it with Tom Brady. Just like Peyton Manning, you will lose that battle.
5. Koji wins World Series, October 30.
How the hell did that happen? From 69 to wins to World Series champs? No biggie. Koji Uehara ending the series on a strikeout was entirely appropriate. He was the freaking man this year and he should’ve won the Cy Young Award. No reliever in the history of MLB had as strong a season as he did this year. None. Not even Rollie Fingers, so eat that Felger. You will never see a pitcher as dominant and easy to root for as the Sayonara express. His tailing fastballs were simply un-hittable, and someday we will all tell our children about him, as he helped the Boston Red Sox win their first World Series at Fenway Park since 1918. God bless you Koji.
4. Gregory Campbell kills a power play on a broken leg during Boston Bruins sweep of Pittsburgh Penguins, June 6.
If the Penguins played the Montreal Canadiens in the playoffs it would be like watching Kim Kardashian and Kanye West go through a really ugly and painful divorce. You hope they both could lose, but in the end you just want to see both of them get really hurt and cease from existence for eternity. The four game sweep of this spineless group of All-Stars was one of the most satiating experiences of 2013. Jarome Iginla went to Pittsburgh thinking he would just show up and win a Stanley Cup. Instead he found out that the Bruins are a bunch of blue collar bastards that can and will beat you on a broken leg. On a power play that featured Evgeni Malkin, Kris Letang, Sid Crosby and James Neal, they couldn’t score against Gregory Campbell on a broken freaking leg. I said it before and I’ll say it again, Gregory Campbell would kick LeBron James’ ass in a one on one fight. I’d bet my mortgage on it. He’s that tough. Evidently Iginla realized how stupid he was and righted his wrong by signing with Boston in the offseason.
3. Shane Victorino home run, Game 6 ALCS vs. Detroit Tigers, October 19.
Remember when John Farrell blew the season when he put in Franklin Morales in a game the Red Sox were winning 1-0 in the sixth inning? That’s what we would be saying right now were it now for the Flyin Hawaiian. Right when Red Sox Nation was beginning to lose faith in Victorino he hit one of the most legendary home runs in Red Sox history that put the Red Sox in the World Series. Detroit’s crap happy bullpen couldn’t protect Max Scherzer’s lead and Victorino gave them their spanking for being naughty. Grand freaking slam, none of which would’ve happened if Jose Iglesias doesn’t turns the double play on Jacoby Ellsbury. Keep telling me what a bad deal the Red Sox got on the Peavy for Iglesias trade Felger!
2. Big Papi home run vs. Detroit Tigers, Game 2 ALCS, October 13.
Is there any doubt who the chosen people are after this epic night? Any other fan base is good for another 12 months after the Patriots beat the Saints that afternoon. In Massachusetts though we’ve come to expect the next legendary comeback a few hours later. Facing the prospect of going to Detroit down 2-0, losing 5-2 with two outs and the bases juiced in the 8th inning, the Tigers did the unthinkable – allowed their bullpen to pitch to David Ortiz. Big mistake. After Papi facialized the Tigers with his grand slam to Al Albuquerque, you knew that this was only going to end with another duck boat parade. Their was no turning back at that point as the Red Sox were a steamy load that couldn’t be stopped.
1. Boston Bruins come back from down 4-1 with 10 minutes remaining to stun Toronto Maple Leafs in Game 7, May 13.
Even though this was an opening round series, against a team they had previously led three games to one, and they eventually lost in one of the greatest finishes in Stanley Cup history for fans outside of Boston, this tops the list for me this year. I still can’t believe they did that. After Nathan Horton cut the deficit to 4-2 with ten minutes to go, I still had no faith and neither did you, you filthy liar. But when Milan Lucic magically appeared and scored that third goal with 1:22 remaining, I set myself up for what I assumed would be a massive disappointment. Odds of winning at that point were still 10 to 1 at best. Then it happened. Bergeron!! Bergeron!! Bergeron!! That beautiful French Canadian scored the equalizer and then won it in overtime in a game that will live in Boston history. Sure we lost in the Stanley Cup Finals, but at least we got to see those poor people in Toronto have their hearts broken. On the bright side, Toronto fans still have Rob Ford to watch for entertainment now. And I will never, ever get sick of watching the video that this Leafs fan posted on youtube, in what he thought would be his friends reactions to winning Game 7 at his apartment. I will show my kids this video once a year and we will laugh and revel in the heartbreak. Then my son will go to art school and we will never talk again.
Honorable Mentions: Patriots comeback against Cleveland Browns, Rene Rancourt triple fist pump, Paul Pierce 29 points in Celtics win over Knicks in Game 4, John Lackey outduels Justin Verlander Game 3 ALCS, Koji picks of Colten Wong Game 4 World Series, Lester out duels Adam Waingwright Game 5 World Series, Tuukka Rash shuts out Blackhawks Game 3 Stanley Cup Finals, Daniel Paille scored overtime game winner Game 3 Stanley Cup Finals.
What did we miss? Feel free to share your thoughts to keep the conversation going.
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