Mainstream Media Fails

Two Slugpumps Who Abandoned Their Kids Get Killed By Train Full Of Children While Playing Junkie Frogger On Wareham Tracks, Media Paints Them As Loving Parents

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This story’s been all over the news today……

How da fuq do you get hit by a train? I know, I know – they’re junkies who live in the woods and get banged up down by the railroad tracks. But did they not have the option to get high NEXT TO the train tracks, as opposed to directly on top of the train tracks? There’s a million and one places to shoot up and they choose to sit on the one places where a train is guaranteed to eventually pass. This is the definition of Darwinism.

The media is playing up the angle that they were “beautiful people”

That they were loving parents who will be missed by their kids.

Newsflash – just because you fired out three or four crotchfruits doesn’t make you a Mom or a Dad. It just makes you fertile. Of course they didn’t have custody of their kids because getting high and living in the woods was the lifestyle they CHOSE by putting needles filled with blue magic into their veins.

But wait, she posted about how she loved her kids on Facebook.

So she qualifies as a good mom now.

And although she abandoned the kids she showed the world how much she cares for them by getting their names tattooed on her and posting it on Facebook.

Alivia and Julyan. As in, my favorite months of the year are Julyan August. These poor kids had no shot from the beginning. Anyone who takes a perfectly normal name, and then adds random “y’s” and other intentional derivations, is the kind of person that puts more time into naming their kids than they do raising their kids.

She sure didn’t seem to miss her kids very much, but she did miss the guy who created them due to his affinity for raw dog when he went missing for a month or two last year.


I can already hear the feelz patrol getting ready to call us insensitive for writing these inconvenient truths on our website.

No one knows why they were there? Ummm….it wasn’t to return overdue library books or inquire about birth control, that’s for sure. And yes, thankfully the children were not there. Because they ditched their kids to play junkie jams in the woods.

Show some respect? Hard pass fam. I have zero respect for two parents who abandon their children so they can play junkie frogger on the railroad tracks.

Oh no!! What if their family sees people saying factual things on the Internet about the dangers of drug abuse? That might hurt their feelz, and we must protect everyone’s feelz. That’s how free speech works.

Of course Melissa Gaudette and her muff marauder Edwin have no shortage of Google trophies. He was picked up in June on over half a dozen warrants.

Last November he was also picked up on warrants.

And in September of last year he was arrested at Cumby’s for trying to use counterfeit money that he drew on a table cloth at McDonald’s while he filled up his water cop with Dr. Pepper and mixed it with Henny.

She seemed to mostly get arrested for being loud and ratchet, like that time last year she went into J&R Towing, caused a huge disturbance, and wouldn’t leave.

Oh, and a month ago today they were arrested because he hit a dude’s car while the dude was driving, and then she tried to bust him out of the squad car after he started shouting obscenities at the cops and was detained.

Looks like she was right:

In fairness, the guy whose car they hit deserved it. Moron gave them $20 because he felt bad. Newsflash – when you give junkies money you are contributing to their demise. You’re not a good person for doing that. You’re actually a terrible person. They’re not going to deposit that money into their kid’s college funds. They’re going to see Diego before getting high down at the railroad tracks. People who give money to junkies because they “feel bad” should forced to spend the night camping underneath Trigglypuff’s fupa folds.

Keep in mind, the train that hit them was a special Christmas train, with hundreds of kids on it. The real victim here is the engineer who will be scarred for life because of this, and the kids who probably had to wait on the train for hours while they cleaned up what was left of these two failed parents. I would say I feel bad for their kids, but they probably hardly knew their kids. Either way, their lives will be a lot more stable without these two eventually trying to get back into their lives by pretending to be clean, getting their kid’s hopes up that they’ll have real, loving parents, and then relapsing like they always do.

46 Comment(s)
  • Jack Knauf
    November 20, 2018 at 9:02 pm

    Of course it is sad whenever people lose their lives, but in this case it is very difficult to shed too many tears. Abandoning your children and pissing on your parental duties by being lowlife, jailbird drug-addled pukes is atrocious. I’d like to hear from a parent of one of the children that was on that train and find out if they were made witness to body parts scattered all over the tracks. How’s that for a 5 year-old’s memory of Christmas?

    • Brian
      June 25, 2020 at 9:35 pm

      Hello my name is Brian Gaudettes melissa gaudettes brother grew up with her my whole life,if you really feed into this fake news bull you are sad,fist of all someone so cruel and bitchlike and just downright childish to talk like this ,no real human being should listen too him. To talk this way about people who have passed away tragically and definitely have a full loving family. Who are still morning to this day. Makes him a f******* loser. Nice of him to bring up my sister’s history like he knows everything about her, She also loved hanging out with her family and was In recovery For a few months before she was hit. She spent the whole summer sleeping with us going on camping trips going to cannoby Lake Park “this guy does some research”. Guess he didn’t bother to look up the coroner’s report that says that they both died clean we don’t know why they Got hit. So don’t post judgment on people you’ve never met cause this filthy little boy has something to say about it

      • Brian
        June 25, 2020 at 9:58 pm

        Why is there no way to talk to this turtle loser His bitch ass is only safe behind a computer Why doesn’t he come on find out what the real story is come on down to whereham Melissa had plenty of friends plenty of family you could find the whole story out Or I could punch you in your f******* mouth how’s that for freedom of speech you little bitch. People are complaining about this guy For a reason it’s because him and all of his followers are nasty and don’t give a dam about the hurting people All around them spreading this fake shit and acting like you’re above it all Like your the pillar of truth, just in my sister story alone you have lied more than once All this page is about is spreading the hate that you feel towards everybody else so you bash on all these stories to make it seem like all this in nasty shit is all around you and you have to protect everyone You’re a f******* fake loser

      • Brian
        June 26, 2020 at 2:08 pm

        It’s her brother just so all you losers know I just found out that all of her kids have gotten a hold of this page just by googling,thank you all for that good for you you think your better, atleast my sister had the sense not too expose her kids too this stuff,thanks too you good people they have seen everything that has been written so which one of you losers actually feel bad for the kids ,none of you hate speech followers actually care

  • Get Right
    November 20, 2018 at 12:29 pm

    Are this people commenting humans or devil’s advocates? It sure does not sound like GOD’s people. I don’t like junkies either but who am I to judge.

    • ...and sometimes NarCan't
      November 24, 2018 at 6:03 am

      A Reading from the Book of Narcan;
      They turned to and worshiped a god that they shot into their veins. A god that shows no mercy, teaches no kindness, allows for all types of sin and debauchery if it should bring the idolaters closer to that spoon, flame and syringe.
      To do that, they turned away from God and His Word.
      May God have mercy on them and Thanks be to Him for calling them from this world to get their just reward.

  • SMH
    Hobo who knows
    November 20, 2018 at 4:31 am

    Let me guess – they were drinking Night Train wine on the tracks?

    • Bob
      November 20, 2018 at 11:47 am

      Where’s the photos? I wanted to see the photos. Damn you turtleboy show me the photos.

      • bob
        November 20, 2018 at 11:50 am

        2 more off the welfare rolls. Boo hoo

      • Brian
        June 25, 2020 at 9:39 pm

        This is Brian God debt Don’t listen to this turtle boy my sister died clean she was walking to her friends house and she took the train tracks just because he can dig up history about her doesn’t meet make him write how come he didn’t dig up the coroner report that shows she got a drug screen that she passed I’m sorry to be like this towards you but don’t judge people in such a way when you didn’t even know them and listening to this loser has clearly messed your brain up you don’t talk this way about people she was in recovery and spent the whole summer with her whole family including me and her kids funny he couldn’t dig that shut up could he

  • S.Claus, Engineer
    November 20, 2018 at 2:05 am

    Ho, ho, hooooooooo…you’re welcome.
    I never even reached for the brake.

  • enough
    November 19, 2018 at 11:49 pm

    Train full of merriment stops for everyone, minding their own business, on it… because it runs over apparent addict and the”‘father of three of her children.”

    Massachusetts in a nutshell.

    November 19, 2018 at 9:07 pm

    Karma. The word is now one step closer to being a better place.

  • Bipolar Express
    November 19, 2018 at 8:42 pm

    But was the train OK?

    • Brian
      June 25, 2020 at 9:46 pm

      Hello it’s Brian Melissa’s brother, Shame on you for talking about somebody who has passed away tragically who cares what she has done in her past we loved her dearly you people should be ashamed of yourselves no wonder why you listen to this fake news If he had any brains at all. He would have read the coroner report that said they died clean not even alcohol. So does That mean karma is going to come back on you For Listening to this loser and talking shit about the deceased grow up I hoped karma doesn’t come and get you because I’m a grown adult and I don’t wish badd on people

  • suckittrebek
    November 19, 2018 at 8:38 pm

    LoL two human dumpster fires shoot up and die on the railroad tracks are “beautiful people” in this shithole state. LOL

  • All aboard the Junkie Express
    November 19, 2018 at 4:37 pm

    If these “parents” were honest, the top name on whoever has the tattoo would say Heroin right above Aaron. 

  • Miss the Old Cape
    November 19, 2018 at 4:25 pm

    Channel 5 news said the kids were on the “Train to Christmas Town”. The conductor must have made a wrong turn at the Cape and they found themselves on the “Train to Junkie Town”.

    • enough
      November 19, 2018 at 11:57 pm

      That’s probably what someone was thinking about when “The children were allegedly told that the train had run out of “magic fuel.” ” (Channel 7 article). Probably thinking about the folk on the tracks and how their “magic fuel” worked out for them.

    • Leverett Saltonstall
      November 20, 2018 at 8:58 am

      Even the “nice” part of the Cape is turning into a shithole. Now we have party buses leaving dumpsters of trash on the National Seashore? Nice Provincetown businesses are closing. I miss the “old” days.

  • Ironic Twist
    November 19, 2018 at 4:15 pm

    How ironic that two people who only pretended to care about their kids get killed by a train full of kids. He works in mysterious ways…..

  • Ryan H
    November 19, 2018 at 3:55 pm

    Youre a piece of shit. Youve wrote countless articles about me and alot of other criminals and junkies but you dont know shit about these people. I bet your to much of a fucking coward to tell ANYONE your real identity. Youre most likely a fat middle class broad who hates her life and got fired from her last newspaper editor job for being late cause the line at the cheescake factory held you up. Now you resort to abusing the freedom of speech amendment to make yourself feel better. Youre a lame.

    • whatevuh
      November 19, 2018 at 7:16 pm

      Sometimes the truth hurts fuckface, if you can’t handle it, put on your big-boy pants and get the fuck over it

    • suckittrebek
      November 19, 2018 at 8:45 pm

      Go drop dead ya junkie loser, you are a drain on the state, country and your family.

    • Ebenezer Screw
      November 19, 2018 at 9:04 pm

      Shut the fuck up. Don’t want to be written about, don’t be a criminal piece of shit. Don’t care what your or their sob story is, you made that decision to be a piece of shit.

      • Brian
        June 26, 2020 at 1:13 pm

        Hi its Brian Gaudette again, dont feal sorry for me and my family’s loss or how you people think death and hate are something to joke about,I feel bad for you all and every sad indiviual who are simple enough to be brainwashed by any hate speech you see, living a sad life getting kicks off of speaking I’ll of the dead and there families. Pretty classless. This man is misleading all of you he is wrong about a lot of thing’s in my sister’s story, you’ve all been played on like sad followers. Grow up and stop looking for reasons too hate people you dont know all on one person’s view. have a mind of your own.this guy is abusing freedom of speech and using it too bash on people,just cuz you can dosen’t mean you should. Throwing freedom of speech at people when your acting cruel and hatefull is so little kid like.this isn’t freedom of speech,its an excuse too be cruel,I emailed turtle bitch and explained were he was wrong and asked for an apology for the hert he caused my family when he did this for no reason smear campaign,he hasn’t responded, surprise ((not)) I new he wouldn’t only a little bitch would say all this in the safety of his home,so he couldn’t possibly man up and at least confront the people he is affecting,its even sader that you people follow such a wimpy classless loser. I pray too god you people can realize this is sad and childish and you should live like grown ladies and gentlemen,acting like this is wy people are so lost and brainwashed

    • enough
      November 19, 2018 at 11:53 pm

      “Youve wrote countless articles about me and alot of other criminals and junkies but you dont know shit about these people.”

      Well according to you, you and a bunch of other people are “criminals and junkies,” so…..

    • Ryan's Agent
      November 20, 2018 at 7:30 am

      Hey Ryan, you had a couple of decent lines in there. With a little work you might be able to write a couple of blog posts. Keep working on your material in the comments and who knows what could happen. I think your new pen name should be, Section 8.

    • Grow up
      November 20, 2018 at 10:42 am

      It’s funny because turtleboy from the Uxbridge area and has nothing else better to do he is an ex-teacher and has charges himself as being a pedophile somebody should talk huh LOL and all these other losers on his website worshipping him you do spit facts but you take it too far I used to be your fan but now you are trash

    • Peter Niss
      November 20, 2018 at 11:35 am

      ENCORE! Dude, it’s been a while since I’ve seen a ratchet come into the comments section and trigger this many angry comments! You have made a monumental achievement my bad sir. ENCORE I SAY! MORE! MORE!

  • I am jack’s complete lack of surprise
    November 19, 2018 at 2:54 pm

    Who the fuck hangs out on train tracks? Was is this like 1840? Darwin Award nominees for 2018.

  • Gotta try something else
    November 19, 2018 at 2:49 pm

    Lets stop spending on EBT and welfare and sprinkle drugs all over the railroads. Maybe invest in quieter and faster trains.

  • Captain Trips
    Uncle Sam
    November 19, 2018 at 2:37 pm

    Best news I’ve heard today.

    Two more druggie slobs most likely on the public dole written off.

    Thank you both for saving we taxpayers considerable money and future aggravation!

    Message to the state: Please cancel the benefits for both of these individuals effective immediately!

    Thank you!

  • Scott
    November 19, 2018 at 2:20 pm

    I bet they have lots of track marks on their extremities.

    • Captain Trips
      Captain Trips
      November 19, 2018 at 3:05 pm

      Thumbs up!

      THAT was funny!

    • Fred Knessl
      November 19, 2018 at 3:05 pm

      Took me a minute… Good one!!!

  • george
    November 19, 2018 at 2:13 pm

    you loved your children? then why choose drugs over them. i love my son. thats why i spend every minute i can with him. i have to leave him for 50 hours a week because i love him. i go to work and make money so we have a place to live and food to eat. other than that i am with my son. that is how you love your children, not by choosing posion over them.

  • Bernie Madoff
    November 19, 2018 at 2:10 pm

    On Wall Street narcan futures are a tich down on opening.

  • randiguy2006
    Randall Guy
    November 19, 2018 at 1:13 pm

    Happy Thanksgving to everyone.

  • mcf1122
    Ann Flaherty
    November 19, 2018 at 12:58 pm

    I knew there was more to the story when I heard it. Leave it to TB to figure it out.

    So glad the election is over. No more Shiva ads. Hard to take TB seriously when they shill for a creep like that.

  • Washashore
    November 19, 2018 at 12:51 pm

    I saw this on the news and laughed. Like TB first thought I had was “how do you get hit by a fucking train”. Never saw that coming…

    • I guess the whole world is scum
      November 20, 2018 at 10:49 am

      I hope that everybody that had something bad to say about two dead people in the addiction of another and being homelesspeople don’t plan that to happen I hope someone in your family dies so you guys get cancer all you guys must live a miserable f****** lifecoming on here for people that you don’t let me know just to talk s*** nobody knows fact they were on the methadone clinic and had to take home do you have to be clean to have that you stupid motherfukers I hope you guys truly feel like a piece of s***I hope all your loved ones that have passed away I looking down on you like the biggest scumbags that you are at home or your family members dying like a major car accident

      • Ya gotta be kidding me
        November 21, 2018 at 8:22 pm

        Hey dipshit We all gotta go to work everyday and pay our taxes so these junkies can get narcamed every fucking Tuesday night. Nope, fuck them, they got what they deserved. They were a drain on society and some other dope head has already taken their tent down on Hobo row. Go take some fuckin Midol and shut the fuck up. 

  • Repub 1
    November 19, 2018 at 12:47 pm

    We need a lot more trains to get rid of this type of garbage.

    • Taxpayer
      November 19, 2018 at 1:03 pm

      Southcosast Rail can’t come fast enough

      • Stunt Penis
        November 19, 2018 at 1:42 pm

        …and encourage junkie homesteading on the rail line.

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