Turtleboy Investigates

Ultimate Stolen Valor Chudmuffin Accepts Award At St. Louis Blues Game For Heroic Rescue At Boston Marathon Bombing, Except He Was In New Hampshire

Ultimate Stolen Valor Chudmuffin Accepts Award At St. Louis Blues Game For Heroic Rescue At Boston Marathon Bombing, Except He Was In New Hampshire

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It takes a special kind of asshole to steal valor. Usually it comes in the form of people wearing half-assed uniforms in to Walmart to get a discount or a “thanks for your service” while perusing the aisles. The Internet is packed with groups that call these people out because lying, especially about risking your life to protect others, is a special kind of low.

We found one guy whose only valor of any kind is in douchebaggery. Shawn Daniel, a St. Louis EMT training coordinator, is on the burner after accepting an award from the St. Louis Blues hockey team for his heroism during the Boston Marathon Bombings. Daniel says he was running towards the finish lines when the bombs went off.

The only problem is his work records, for the private ambulance company he was employed at, show he was 70 miles away, in New Hampshire, when the blasts started.

Seems the only thing he was racing was a bus full of grannies to doctors appointments. Homeboy wasn’t even on actual ambulance duty that day. He was literally driving a bus transporting the elderly from place to place.

When the St. Louis Fire Department issued a press release about Daniel being honored, his former colleagues, and actual first responders that were there that day, began to tilt their heads in confusion. This guy was full of shit. They rightfully started contacting news outlets and sent TBS an email telling us to look in to it.

At one point even Daniel’s own mother, Gayle Ashton Reneer, shared the press release bragging about how proud she was of her son. Guess that faded because she deleted it just as people started calling him out. 

Does that mean Daniel created this elaborate lie back in 2013 when he called his Mom? While most of us were watching our televisions in horror, calling loved ones to make sure they were okay, and our actual first responders were saving lives…. this guy sat back and made up a giant tale saying he was there playing hero.

Who. Does. That??!!

Well, Fox 25 sent a reporter to Saint Louis to talk to their fire department, where the web-spinner is employed, and tried  to track Daniel down. They had no luck because he’s probably buried himself in a private bunker where he lives out his magical fantasies of being a hero, a fairy princess, or a pony. Hell, let’s play dragons. Anything he dreams up apparently makes it reality so why stop at that?

The SLFD have opened a formal investigation on Shawny Tall Tale. They also remarked that Daniel would tell his story of heroics during training exercises. When they questioned him about it he showed them this picture and said he was the guy in the yellow vest.

Only the guy in the yellow vest is a confirmed Boston Fire Fighter. (We can’t find his name so if you know it just message us.) That means this guy went through all of the pictures that day, saw one guy that looked like him, and claimed to be him. Daniel kept the web spinning by saying he was doing a Boston transport for one of those elderly folks at the time. His partner, boss, and roommate don’t remember it that way.

This guy clearly isn’t mentally fit to be a paramedic.

But of course there are people defending him for being a pathological liar. Like this bleeding heart butt-puppet:

Sure, for the benefit of the doubt we will say being a pathological liar makes you “sick.” :rolls eyes: In order to be an EMT you need to be of sound, mind, and body. That’s enough to see him fired, right?

What this guy is doing is minimizing the lives lost that day. Disrespecting those who were injured. Crapping all over the extraordinary bravery of the people who actually responded. Those same people have to live with those memories for as long as they live and he’s up there grinning like he just won a Grammy. 

I think the least we can do is make him ashamed to show his face anywhere again, right? Bonus points for him getting shit-canned. 



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14 Comment(s)
  • WHAT?
    January 27, 2017 at 3:16 am

    I hope St. Louis keeps him and he does not come to Massachusetts. Otherwise, he could claim he was American Indian in order to get a job at Harvard, and vote for Maura Healey.

  • Lola Bunny
    January 26, 2017 at 10:34 pm

    It takes a real special kinda douche to lie about something like that. It’s way too easy to find (so many!) messed up people with no scruples. Make Americans honorable and humble again! People screwing the system left and right, only out for themselves. Disgusting.

  • Wwy
    January 26, 2017 at 7:09 pm

    Lol,Boston strong. 2 teens take over a city no heroes that day I agree.

    • You're a huge
      January 26, 2017 at 8:16 pm


  • Turd Burglestein
    January 26, 2017 at 4:55 pm

    Good job roasting this piece of shit…he definitely deserves it. And the line about how he made up this tale about playing hero and asking who does that brings a certain person to mind who I won’t bother naming, but we all know who that butt puppet is.

  • Strata
    January 26, 2017 at 12:17 pm

    He should be fired immediately. Untrustworthy to be dealing with people’s lives for a living. His own fault. And those sticking up for him are losers too. If lying is a mental disease, then Hilliary Clinton is a very very sick woman

    • John Galt
      January 26, 2017 at 12:36 pm

      Exactly. If mental illness were a legitimate excuse for lying, the whole Clinton entourage would’ve played that card YEARS ago.

  • Tito
    January 26, 2017 at 11:10 am

    It’s called alternative facts duh. While we are at it, I was there too. I want a reward. Bestow upon me the finest SJW ass you can offer. Give me the Tgiggle puff creature.

  • UsualSuspect
    January 26, 2017 at 9:50 am

    Dude watched Forrest Gump one too many times apparently, thought he could pull it off. He was probably plotting his next fake heroic act when he was exposed.

  • Justice
    January 26, 2017 at 9:27 am

    I can only reiterate what Talisman said. This is NOT a mental illness. It is a little dweeby twerp trying to play superhero for his own selfish gains. Calling it a mental illness only allows everyone to get away with anything as long as they know how to lie. I hope it isn’t true. Pathetic. I hope he is reprimanded and has to publicly give back the award. EXCELLENT story, SSTG.

  • Talisman
    January 26, 2017 at 9:13 am

    So, lying to further your own selfish fantasy about being something you’re not, is now considered a “mental illness”. Hell, let’s just say lying in general is a mental illness. That way, nothing anyone does is their fault or responsibility. It was the illness that made em do it and had nothing to do with vanity, greed, or any other fucked up reason.
    I mean really, hasn’t everybody lied, claimed to be a hero and accepted an award for saving lives during a terrorist attack?
    Jesus…Until these people and their defenders suffer, really suffer, there’s no end to this bullshit.
    Thanks TB for exposing another hideous shitbag in need of shaming. But I hope somebody has a little something extra for this asshole.

    • BobnMic
      January 26, 2017 at 9:18 am

      I know I have.

    • True Reality Speaks
      Sen. Fauxcahontas Warren
      January 26, 2017 at 7:53 pm

      This brave and wonderful man has been my faithful intern and best student!

  • BobnMic
    January 26, 2017 at 8:53 am

    I’m a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and…I like to kiss my own butt.

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