Vapid Schlong Strangler Who Writes The Worst Erotic Fiction I Have Ever Seen Is Frustrated That Everyone Wants A Slice Of Her Hot Buttered Clam Pie And Won’t Just Give Her Money For Nothing

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This is Kristen Howe, and she has some serious personal problems going on right now, so pray for her, y’all.

Kristen is a single mom going through a “rough time” financially, because between all the the internet panhandling and complaining she does, she simply does not have the free time to go actively seek employment.

Had to quit a job due to sexual advances made by your boss, eh? Seems plausible. Believe her. Because it’s not like we have laws and an overzealous, completely gullible legal system to protect women from that. Regardless of the validity of the claim. I think we should all give this woman money, she clearly is super motivated to get back on her feet, and grateful for all the “help” she has received thus far.

Yet, unfortunately for Kristen, she just can’t seem to turn off her wily feminine charm long enough to get some no-strings attached cash.

No matter what she does or says, everybody just wants to fuck her.

Don’t you hate it when you’re just so sexy and irresistible that it interferes with getting an online handout without every Tom, Dick and Harry trying to get all up into your lady holes?

Such a cross to bear. How hard is it for a 46 year old, staunchly democratic cheesehog with 5 kids and no gainful employment to get a handout or 50 from online strangers without having to give up her alluring stench trench? At least she’s a lady of her morals who totally WILL NOT sleep with you for money, you guys, so stop asking already.

Right Said Fred called, Kristen. They said they want their gimmick back. “I’m too sexy for your solicitation” just doesn’t have a great ring to it.

Although it is possible the lady doth protest a little too much.

Furthermore, she has no time for you if you just won’t give her money, period.

Yes, Kristin, it’s definitely everyone else’s fault that you can’t provide for your children. The nerve! What kind of world are we living in when a beggapotumus like this can’t support her family while staying unemployed and online all day? She voted Democrat, for fuck’s sake! She deserves your charity!

I have a feeling the Democratic Party would appreciate it if this slag revokes her endorsement.

Hilariously, as opposed to actual, gainful employment so that she can, you know, pay bills and stuff without having to throw her voluptuous body to the sex-hungry wolves howling at her doorstep, the cheesehog who is responsible for well written pieces of art such as this:

Fancies herself to be quite the prolific author.

And I’m not saying I smell a Pulitzer here, but….

Nope, that’s shit and desperation I smell, sorry. Definitely not a Pulitzer.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that when you are barely literate, writing books is probably not the way to earn a living. When you look like a crack addicted hippo in eyeliner and can’t stop bellyaching to anyone who will listen online, you either need to get used to the bobs and vegana mafia offering you cash for nip pics and weird dudes in their 60s offering you $40 in exchanging for access to your blowhole, or shut up about it, already. There are no other options here. Unless you want to go get a job, and I don’t see that happening here.