Mainstream Media Fails

Wacky Walter Bird Had A Complete Meltdown On Facebook After Falsely Taking Credit For “Breaking News” About New Worcester Police Chief

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So tonight Worcester Magazine is holding it’s dinner for the Best of Worcester 2015 people’s choice awards. And obviously Turtleboy Sports will once again be honored for best local blog. We will have two of our bloggers in the house collecting our hardware, one of which is probably the most infamous person associated with Turtleboy Sports:

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Bret “The Killer” Killoran. If you don’t watch your cockwasher, then he’ll wash it out with soap.

Speaking of Worcester Magazine, last week we broke the news that Steve Sargent was the new chief of police in Worcester:


No big deal. We have inside sources in the police department and they wanted us to be the ones who broke the news. This is what happens when you’re nice to people. They do nice things for you in return.

Well the very next day Worcester Magazine Walter Bird announced that they “broke” this same exact story:

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Classic move by Wacky Walter Bird. People immediately began calling them out in the comments, because apparently Wacky Walter doesn’t know what “breaking news” means. His response was so Wacky Walter it hurts:

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This is what people do when they are confronted with the facts we present. They start calling everyone Aidan. Yawn. It’s just so funny because they masquerade themselves as some sort of legitimate news outlet, and hold themselves to a hilarious standard of “professionalism.” Meanwhile, they act like 2nd graders on the playground on Facebook. Not a good look, as this woman pointed out:

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As did many others:

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Ouch. The truth hurts.

Here’s the best part – Wacky Walter is CONSTANTLY ripping on the Telegram and Gazette every time they “break” a story that he’s already taken credit for breaking:


When the People’s City Councilor Michael Gaffney pointed out that Turtleboy already reported this news, Wacky Walter got confused:

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LOL. They love to pretend like Turtleboy doesn’t exist, don’t they? Meanwhile Bret Killoran is eating a free meal at their expense right now.

That’s when Wacky Walter tried to justify that it was indeed still breaking news when he reported it:
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Wait…..what?? It’s not breaking news because we only wrote that Sargent was GOING TO BE named the chief? Then 24 hours later the police held a press conference and announced that Turtleboy was right and Walter was the first one to write about it on Facebook, therefore it’s breaking news now? Huh? What is this poor guy smoking? So like, by his logic weren’t the police the one’s who broke the news? It’s sad really.


When someone pointed it out that he was hiding behind some meaningless wording, Wacky Walter once again had very little to say:

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Breaking news: Turtleboy owns Walter Bird’s brain.


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14 Comment(s)
  • Jerry
    February 20, 2017 at 6:10 pm

    Go easy on Walter lol I know him personally. He’s a good dude.

  • Wallys step daughter
    May 10, 2016 at 9:50 am

    Anyone see the pictures on Womag of Fat Wally and Fat Hank,
    two old fat white males with jowls you could hide a beer can under.
    I’ve seen Wally do it.

  • Lol
    May 9, 2016 at 10:26 pm

    Ok aiden

    • Jon
      May 10, 2016 at 3:39 am

      hahaha…awesome man. they’re having a lovers quarrel.

      • BobnMic
        May 10, 2016 at 4:12 am

        Wow your just another dipshit aren’t you Jon. Can’t wait for another one of your drunken 7 paragraph rants about nothing. Talk about eye balls bleeding. You’re the king of that douchebag. But hey keep it up. You’re a regular Mickey Spillane. Love your work.

        • Trump's boy penis
          May 10, 2016 at 7:20 am

          Someone’s a little cranky this morning.

          • Wabbitt
            May 10, 2016 at 11:35 am

            His vagina has been extra sandy the last couple of days.

  • Wabbitt
    May 9, 2016 at 7:52 pm

    How much did it cost to buy that much space in Walter’s little pea brain? Probably dirt cheap. It’s a buyer’s market, after all.

    • BobnMic
      May 9, 2016 at 8:04 pm

      You ought to know there idiot Wabbitt being an owner of a pea brain yourself.

      • Wabbitt
        May 9, 2016 at 8:12 pm

        Yep. Yours.

        Anyone need room to store their shit? I’m looking to sublet the space I own in Bob’s head.

        • BobnMic
          May 9, 2016 at 10:38 pm

          You own nothing fuckhead and you’ll never will. Enjoy being tormented by me every time you post your meaningless comments. This is so much fun to go after a real live asshole.

  • Worc Taxpayer
    May 9, 2016 at 6:11 pm

    Congrats to Turtleboy Sports for being named “local blogger of the year”! This is a great site and wish I found it sooner but I have spent all my limited free time last couple of days reading old posts. TBS should get a Pulitzer Prize for the work they do. By the way who is the presenter of the award? Clive or Old Balls?

  • Clive's not racist, just ask him
    May 9, 2016 at 5:10 pm

    The Wally Bird, as confirmed by Wikipedia, is a very delusional species.

  • Devils Mouthpiece
    May 9, 2016 at 5:05 pm

    The picture of the hedgehog totally threw me off to what the article might be. lol.

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