Nudniks

White Knight Poonstachio Isn’t Happy That We Called Out The Chicks He Got Friendzoned By For Lying About Sex Trafficking

We got a white knight in the inbox:

2019 Ratchet Madness T-Shirts now on sale in the Turtleboy Store

His name is Doug Lang, and it looks like he’s from somewhere in Rhode Island. Here’s what he messaged the TBNews Facebook page today.

Oh look, it’s the guy who’s trying to bang the Pumpkin Spice Mafia, but ended up getting friendzoned instead. This is just sad.

He’s evidently happy that we lost our Facebook page yesterday because he doesn’t agree with the things we blog about. This is also known as fascism. And a famous type of fascism is of course Nazi Germany. I can only conclude then that Mr. White Knight is in fact a Nazi.

Don’t sleep with Nazis ladies. Not that any of you were tempted to ride Seattle Two incher over here.

And whatever you do, PLEASE do not mass report Doug’s Facebook page either. Censorship is a terrible thing.

He had proof that we were wrong though.

This is the link from TMZ that he sent.

Law enforcement sources tell us … the FBI, ICE, the Georgia Bureau of Investigation, the Fulton County Sheriff and other local authorities will be out in force in the 10 days leading up to the big game … on the hunt for human traffickers and their victims.

Ya see how it says ICE? That’s because they’re looking for human trafficking victims that were brought here from other countries. Not basic Becky’s getting their iced coffees from Dunkins who hijack missing person alerts so they can spread mass hysteria about an issue that by and large does not effect American women.

Anyway, this guy is obviously the proverbial turd in the punch bowl, as his Facebook page shows us that he spends most of his time bitching about how service at fine dining establishments wasn’t up to his standards.

This is why people get their food spat on – because of customers like Doug. One of them actually tried contacting him back, but Doug wasn’t having any of it.

If there’s one thing Doug is unfamiliar with it’s definitely pumping.

Oh, and don’t you dare skimp on the blue cheese either.

Shut up Doug.

 

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16 Comment(s)
  • Dick LaBone
    January 31, 2019 at 5:21 am

    His penis pump was late.

  • Sam Oldshit
    January 31, 2019 at 5:19 am

    Merry Shitmas!

  • Douglas is a Catcher and cries to lifetime movies
    January 31, 2019 at 5:09 am

    Doug is in denial, he is a fem homosexual man bitching up a hysteria at the world. Douglas has female friends cuz Douglas can talk fashion and handbags all day. Douglas is mad at TBS so lookout b/c Douglas will give you his angriest stair and say “whateva bitches”.

    • Stunt Penis
      February 1, 2019 at 7:33 am

      He’s probably trying to grow out his man-bun as I type. His Amazon wish list is filled with all the murses he desires to ‘accessorize’ .

  • Dark Truth
    January 30, 2019 at 8:55 pm

    Doug needs to lay off the Buds and hit the gym.

  • Drago
    January 30, 2019 at 8:22 pm

    I’m sure a lot of willing hookers pull the slave/trafficked routine. Look at the White Russian who made that stuff up about Trump to get out of jail.
    In East Asia girls go from country to country on tourist visas hooking. In Hong Kong mainland girls contact the syndicates to bring them in and set them up. They then “work” to pay them off and keep the extra. Then they’re frequently get called victims even though they were willing participants.
    Does it really happen? Sure, but a lot is overblown.

  • Joe Buck
    January 30, 2019 at 8:07 pm

    Hi Doug

    Joe Buck here. You may have heard of me, Im quite famous. My claim to fame is i did a play by play call of JD eating his breakfast sandwich live on the Howard Stern show. It looks to me like you are in need of a hair transplant. A young, liberal buck (he he no coincidence!) like you reminds me of myself when I was in my pussy slaying hay day. I took a liking to hair plugs, actually got addicted to them for a while but Ive been clean for years, anyway enough about me(Hi Kirk!) You aint getting the pumpkin spice mafia pussy without hair on your head, bro. Get that shit fixed pronto. With all the money you skim off of local businesses with your negative fb and yelp reviews you should be able to afford it no sweat. Just a tip from me to you. Oh and hey since its between us, aint no homo fucking the mtf’s! Hey just cause a chick has a dick doesn’t mean she aint a chick! See ya Sport

  • whatevuh
    January 30, 2019 at 6:59 pm

    what a pussy this guy is, would any sane woman ever date this little, skinny, whining POS ? Here Doug, have some blue cheese with your whine . . . .

  • The angry taint
    January 30, 2019 at 3:03 pm

    found out randall is french for doug

  • Sulfer Powder
    January 30, 2019 at 3:02 pm

    Doggie is looking for free shit. That’s why he rags on businesses. He’s hoping they send him free stuff. And he’s looking to get paid..

  • Randall Guy Loves The Cheese
    January 30, 2019 at 2:04 pm

    Randal Guy likes his wings with plenty of smegma sauce.

  • Randall Guy
    January 30, 2019 at 1:50 pm

    Guy disagrees with you. You doxx him.

    But hey, yeah, love everyone AMIRITE?

    • Stunt Penis
      January 30, 2019 at 2:07 pm

      Doxxing him would be publishing his home address, telephone number, employer, and so on.

      Not his facebook page.

      moron.

      • Mike
        January 30, 2019 at 2:43 pm

        The more I read posts from “Randall Guy” the more I realize that this dude does not understand nuance. 

    • Bert Berfle
      January 30, 2019 at 7:06 pm

      randall, you’re a fucking moron.your parents must have been a couple of winners

    • Stunt Penis
      January 31, 2019 at 6:17 am

      In Randall’s case, it’s obvious the lucky sperm didn’t win.

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