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There are some people who hate the truth so much that they insist on censoring it. We call these people “butthurts.” Their most common forms of resistance includes whining, starting boycotts of Turtleboy advertisers, reporting Facebook pages, and fomenting revolution. Well, you may have noticed on our Facebook page that we have tons of trolls now. Some of these trolls are actually Turtle Riders who pretend to hate Turtleboy just to get people all juiced up. It’s hard to tell sometimes who is foe and who is friend.

Recently a young woman from Worcester named Jenny Devio apparently couldn’t tell the difference either.

Jenny is traditionally a whiner, who posts all over our page about how mean Turtleboy is. She was previously featured in this blog, because she made the usual allegations – she thinks she figured out who Turtleboy is and she doesn’t believe that Turtleboy has that coveted journalism degree.

Since then she’s harassed several advertisers by spamming their Facebook pages with her hilarious boycotts, as if that will have any impact whatsoever. Anyway, she messaged a turtle rider who runs a Facebook page that pretends to be critical of Turtleboy Sports, and started to foment the overthrow of the turtle. The turtle rider of course went along with it. Please, if you’re gonna try to take us down, do a better job than she did:

She’s “sick of what he’s doing.” Normally when I find a blog or an author who I don’t particularly care for, I just stop reading them. But apparently this is not an option for the butthurts. They must keep reading.

Newsflash – anyone who is featured on a Turtleboy Sports blog earned that honor. We only write about the very finest nudniks society has to offer. You don’t get featured on one of our blogs by accident. But please, keep blaming Turtleboy because morons can’t stop acting a fool.

A secret group to take down Turtleboy!!! Never thought about that one. But Jenny, if it’s a secret how will people find out about it??

Yes!! I love when people talk about filing Freedom of Information Act requests. Especially when they have no idea what the FOIA is. See, this law lets us find information out from government entities. For instance if you work for the government, unless your name is Hillary Clinton, your emails can be read by any reporter who wants access to them, because you are accountable to the public. Turtleboy works for Turtleboy though. We’re in a magical place called the “private sector” where FOIA requests do not apply.

I hate when good beer is tinged with hatred and petty gossip. Ruins the flavor. Fortunately Wormtown Brewery makes such good beer that even Clive McFarlane’s stone cold takes couldn’t tinge it. Call up Spanky or Old Balls, they could be allies in this turtle coup!! Oh yea, and there’s nothing petty about fomenting a revolution because you don’t like a blog. Nothing petty at all!!

She’s talking about Sammie Holland, the GoFundMe trap queen who wanted you to pay for her parking at the hospital when she visited her son. The same son who was morbidly obese because this mother of the year feeds him nothing but McDonalds. Oh yea and Sammie and her statutory winner boyfriend are both unemployed and not looking for jobs. You’re right though, we should’ve been nicer to her. Must be because we don’t have journalism degrees.

See that? She also doesn’t like our blog in support of Paul Conzo salon. You may recall that Facebook warriors lost their minds because a woman made up a story about them refusing to do her hair because she was a recovering drug addict. She also said they only gave her a partial refund on the gift certificate. Turns out it was all a lie. We went down and met the fine people of Paul Conzo salon and can tell you that they were still upset about this. The Facebook mob put them through hell and they did absolutely nothing wrong. Jenny Devio was part of this mob, so I guess it’s not surprising that she’s trying to take us down too. Being a dooshnozzle is generally what she is best at.

Yea, silence him!!! Keep reporting his Facebook page because we don’t like the content that we voluntarily expose ourselves to.

So let me get this straight Jenny – Brett Killoran is now Turtleboy? Is that right? I guess if you keep throwing names at the wall one of them will stick eventually.

That’s when the fun started:

LOL. Just so we are clear here, the guy running this page suggested that he and Jenny collaborate to ruin someone’s marriage and blow up fireworks in front of their house. Any normal person would say, “whoa, whoa, whoa – take it easy.” Not Jenny though, all she could muster up was “good idea.” This is how far the butthurts will go to silence the turtle.

We got bad news Jenny – Turtleboy ain’t going anywhere.

When we say, “I Am Turtleboy” we’re not kidding. Turtleboy really is the people. It’s a revolution for common sense. So when you message a stranger on Facebook in the future Jenny, you should probably just assume that they are Turtleboy. Because as you know, we are all Turtleboy.

The sad part is that this probably happens all the time between groups of butthurts. We’ve had so, so, so many failed boycotts and Boycott Facebook pages that we’ve lost count. But this is the first time we’ve actually seen what these private plans to overthrow Turtleboy look like. Thank you Mr. Turtle Rider for bringing this lovely woman to our attention. And Jenny, how bout you just sit back, relax, and enjoy your ride on the turtle. I know we don’t have fancy journalism degrees around here, but we make up for it with hot takes. I promise you won’t be butthurt if you just learn to stop being such an awful person all the time.

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