Woman Tries Plotting To Overthrow Turtleboy, Doesn’t Realize She Is Talking To Turtleboy

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There are some people who hate the truth so much that they insist on censoring it. We call these people “butthurts.” Their most common forms of resistance includes whining, starting boycotts of Turtleboy advertisers, reporting Facebook pages, and fomenting revolution. Well, you may have noticed on our Facebook page that we have tons of trolls now. Some of these trolls are actually Turtle Riders who pretend to hate Turtleboy just to get people all juiced up. It’s hard to tell sometimes who is foe and who is friend.

Recently a young woman from Worcester named Jenny Devio apparently couldn’t tell the difference either.

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Jenny is traditionally a whiner, who posts all over our page about how mean Turtleboy is. She was previously featured in this blogbecause she made the usual allegations – she thinks she figured out who Turtleboy is and she doesn’t believe that Turtleboy has that coveted journalism degree.


Since then she’s harassed several advertisers by spamming their Facebook pages with her hilarious boycotts, as if that will have any impact whatsoever. Anyway, she messaged a turtle rider who runs a Facebook page that pretends to be critical of Turtleboy Sports, and started to foment the overthrow of the turtle. The turtle rider of course went along with it. Please, if you’re gonna try to take us down, do a better job than she did:

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She’s “sick of what he’s doing.” Normally when I find a blog or an author who I don’t particularly care for, I just stop reading them. But apparently this is not an option for the butthurts. They must keep reading.

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Newsflash – anyone who is featured on a Turtleboy Sports blog earned that honor. We only write about the very finest nudniks society has to offer. You don’t get featured on one of our blogs by accident. But please, keep blaming Turtleboy because morons can’t stop acting a fool.

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A secret group to take down Turtleboy!!! Never thought about that one. But Jenny, if it’s a secret how will people find out about it??

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Yes!! I love when people talk about filing Freedom of Information Act requests. Especially when they have no idea what the FOIA is. See, this law lets us find information out from government entities. For instance if you work for the government, unless your name is Hillary Clinton, your emails can be read by any reporter who wants access to them, because you are accountable to the public. Turtleboy works for Turtleboy though. We’re in a magical place called the “private sector” where FOIA requests do not apply.

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I hate when good beer is tinged with hatred and petty gossip. Ruins the flavor. Fortunately Wormtown Brewery makes such good beer that even Clive McFarlane’s stone cold takes couldn’t tinge it. Call up Spanky or Old Balls, they could be allies in this turtle coup!! Oh yea, and there’s nothing petty about fomenting a revolution because you don’t like a blog. Nothing petty at all!!

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She’s talking about Sammie Holland, the GoFundMe trap queen who wanted you to pay for her parking at the hospital when she visited her son. The same son who was morbidly obese because this mother of the year feeds him nothing but McDonalds. Oh yea and Sammie and her statutory winner boyfriend are both unemployed and not looking for jobs. You’re right though, we should’ve been nicer to her. Must be because we don’t have journalism degrees.

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See that? She also doesn’t like our blog in support of Paul Conzo salon. You may recall that Facebook warriors lost their minds because a woman made up a story about them refusing to do her hair because she was a recovering drug addict. She also said they only gave her a partial refund on the gift certificate. Turns out it was all a lie. We went down and met the fine people of Paul Conzo salon and can tell you that they were still upset about this. The Facebook mob put them through hell and they did absolutely nothing wrong. Jenny Devio was part of this mob, so I guess it’s not surprising that she’s trying to take us down too. Being a dooshnozzle is generally what she is best at.

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Yea, silence him!!! Keep reporting his Facebook page because we don’t like the content that we voluntarily expose ourselves to.

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So let me get this straight Jenny – Brett Killoran is now Turtleboy? Is that right? I guess if you keep throwing names at the wall one of them will stick eventually.

That’s when the fun started:

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LOL. Just so we are clear here, the guy running this page suggested that he and Jenny collaborate to ruin someone’s marriage and blow up fireworks in front of their house. Any normal person would say, “whoa, whoa, whoa – take it easy.” Not Jenny though, all she could muster up was “good idea.” This is how far the butthurts will go to silence the turtle.
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We got bad news Jenny – Turtleboy ain’t going anywhere.

When we say, “I Am Turtleboy” we’re not kidding. Turtleboy really is the people. It’s a revolution for common sense. So when you message a stranger on Facebook in the future Jenny, you should probably just assume that they are Turtleboy. Because as you know, we are all Turtleboy.

The sad part is that this probably happens all the time between groups of butthurts. We’ve had so, so, so many failed boycotts and Boycott Facebook pages that we’ve lost count. But this is the first time we’ve actually seen what these private plans to overthrow Turtleboy look like. Thank you Mr. Turtle Rider for bringing this lovely woman to our attention. And Jenny, how bout you just sit back, relax, and enjoy your ride on the turtle. I know we don’t have fancy journalism degrees around here, but we make up for it with hot takes. I promise you won’t be butthurt if you just learn to stop being such an awful person all the time.



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37 Comment(s)
  • Mello
    March 29, 2017 at 10:26 pm

    “I am Trutleboy” is the new “I am Negan.” LOVE it

  • Fakebook
    February 23, 2017 at 8:05 pm

    Wow, she’s “normal”!! I’m thinking maybe, just maybe, I got reported. Facebook deactivated my page this morning and now requires me to upload my picture ID to “verify my identity”! Ya, ok. NOT! I didn’t even do anything, really, last thing I posted was about being kinda nervous about Brett’s MMA match. Weird. So, FUCK YOU FAKEBOOK! Can’t wait for Part 2 of Jenny vs The Turtle!

  • Mike Hawk
    February 23, 2017 at 7:15 pm

    Jenny, call me 867-5309,

  • He Who Shall Not Be Named
    February 23, 2017 at 5:46 pm

    1st Amendment is a wonderful thing. Keep on doing what you do TB.

  • Factman1000
    February 5, 2016 at 8:16 am

    I dunno. I bet if she boycotts McDonald’s their stock will drop like a rock.

  • Devils Mouthpiece
    February 5, 2016 at 5:50 am

    Ha, Ha, she got bone… I mean owned by the turtle.

  • Gronkmonster
    February 4, 2016 at 8:32 pm

    I see flocks of Devio’s suddenly joining the rest that changed their name to Davio to get away from the fruit loops in that family..Please do them a favor and get off the internet for a while Jen..Go break a record for most free hair cuts or something…But please get off the internet

  • Reddog
    February 4, 2016 at 8:30 pm

    Isn’t she Forrest Gumps girlfriend?

  • Nanny
    February 4, 2016 at 7:35 pm

    Good on ya TB for getting clicks, promoting local businesses, and for being a counterpoint to the machine.

    One request – bit more of the substantive stuff, like the excellent Mosiac expose, and a bit less ad-hominem.

    Keep up the good work. You too Turtleriders.

    • BobnMic
      February 5, 2016 at 5:11 am

      I will Nanny and I get all that you speak of and respect. BUT for the love of Christ can you please please get ride of that Dan Shaughnessy picture. Not only is he ugly but he also is a dumb ass. And I don’t give a flying fuck that he went to Holy Cross College here in Worcester.

      He just, in real life, seems like a person that can not tie his own shoes. A deer in the headlights is what he looks like on a daily basis.

      As a sports reporter, there’s another story of ineptitude.

  • MommaH
    February 4, 2016 at 7:21 pm

    All these haters of TB, but, still reading the TB blogs. Get off TB nuts and go read the T&G if you don’t want to see the truth. At least we get the whole story, the facts…when you read the T&G, you only see one side and they don’t go any further. Thank You TB…at least I know there is a reason for your blogs…and there is always a finish line.

  • RJ
    February 4, 2016 at 7:18 pm

    Why the obsession with a journalism degree? I’ve heard that the last class for journalism majors is where they teach you to ask if you’d like fries with that.

  • Common sense isn't so common
    February 4, 2016 at 6:14 pm

    Jenny has had miles and miles of D**K no doubt about…

  • Jenny from da bloc of nudniksia
    February 4, 2016 at 5:43 pm

    Whos hair is more greasy…jenny or homless she cuts????

  • fake name
    February 4, 2016 at 5:26 pm

    My comment was very negative about TB. Is that why you won’t public it?

    • Tammy Gow
      February 4, 2016 at 6:32 pm

      Hahahaha.. Public it…. Wow! Just wow! Did you mean publish

    • February 4, 2016 at 8:36 pm

      Pube lickit

  • fake name
    February 4, 2016 at 5:13 pm

    It’s very disturbing what is happening on your FB page. Publishing a woman’s name, address, and phone number? I get the feeling that a lot of your fans are not the most stable people. You are putting this woman in harm’s way. And don’t tell me she brought it on herself. She should have the right to argue, get mad, and give her opinion the same as the other knuckleheads on your page, without having to worry about Bret going to her place of business. That was threatening. How your fans have turned Bret Killoran into some kind of folk hero is so far beyond me, but it speaks volumes about the kind of people your blog attracts. Hateful, extremely angry people who are so happy that they have finally met up with people as like-minded and hateful as they are. I started reading this blog because thought it might be a force of good somehow. It absolutely has deteriorated into a rabble rousing mob of haters who enjoy feeling mad and who seldom offer soutions. They just keep rehashing the same problems over and over. The only point I see in any of the blogs is to get revenge on people, humiate people and whole towns,and keep stirring the pot of anger. I t extremely hypercritical the way your cultish followers defend Turtleboy in his or their anonymity, but live to expose others names, pictures, addresses, and phone numbers. Of course, Turtleboy won’t even publish or his (Or their) own name!!!! Cowardice! How do you sleep at night knowing the hate you’re spewing? You could do blogs on exposing Mosiac, for example, in a way that caused people to respect this blog, but instead your resorted to name calling and humiliation, as usual. Your commenters are as bad, if not often worse in the things they say about people who are virtually strangers to them. I won’t publish my name here either, because I am truly scared of the followers you have. That’s it, I am done with Turtleboy, and I will be boycotting any business that advertises with you, and I will be trying to convince every friend I know who reads these diatribes to just stop.

    • BobnMic
      February 4, 2016 at 5:38 pm

      Wow there fake name. I know 5 year olds that can write better than this. I know Wanda can. This has Nate P’s style or lack thereof all over it.

      • fake name
        February 4, 2016 at 5:56 pm

        That’s what’s bothering you? My writing style? Spelling errors? I’m so insulted and hurt.

        • BobnMic
          February 4, 2016 at 7:05 pm

          It does not bother me. I just laugh at you that’s all. How can you be taken seriously when you can not even construct a readable sentence? My eyeballs bleed when I try and navigate through your gibberish idiocy.

          But keep it up though. We all need a good laugh from time to time. You think you should’ve finished high school now? How are those career advancement opportunities going for you these days?

          I’m sorry, too many big words for you I know, like “try” and “advancement.”

    • BlackandWhite
      February 4, 2016 at 5:46 pm

      It’s not that difficult to find an address and phone number on the internet. At least it’s not for me.

    • Jenny from da bloc of nudniksia
      February 4, 2016 at 5:46 pm

      Captn. Save a H_0_E

    • WormtownorBust
      February 4, 2016 at 5:58 pm


    • UsualSuspect
      February 4, 2016 at 9:22 pm

      Idiots put stuff on the interweb in places they shouldn’t. People lie, cheat and steal. It gets exposed and someone makes fun of them. Boohoo!

      Take your ball and go home. You are part of the problem in this country.

    • Rational Person
      February 4, 2016 at 10:09 pm

      I hope you aren’t Skeptical.

    • Jenny
      February 5, 2017 at 1:27 pm

      You guys are so mean! But I’ll get the last laugh because the next time YOU need a hairdresser for your favorite lesbian or rapist style, you’re SOL! Looks like you’ll be in a hat all year. If you need a vagina hat I have extras. Fake name feel free to come in for a free dike fade. We can eat yogurt and bash Turtlboy.

    • SMH
      February 23, 2017 at 4:54 pm


    • Mello
      March 29, 2017 at 10:30 pm

      Call the WHAAAAAmbulance!

  • BobnMic
    February 4, 2016 at 5:01 pm

    What an angry little bitch. Obviously the BF or hubby ain’t getting the job done. She just might be one of those man hating dykes as well. She fits the profile…

  • Sarah Berthiaume
    Jesus Christ Our Savior
    February 4, 2016 at 4:46 pm

    Jenny needs to quit spending all her energy on plotting someone’s demise and just find herself some Jesus!

    • BobnMic
      February 4, 2016 at 5:25 pm

      Sarah, I think I am in love with you!!………..

  • BlackandWhite
    February 4, 2016 at 4:38 pm

    Jennay doesn’t seem to be all that busy with her career.
    Lots of extra time on her hands.

    Thanks to a dedicated turtle rider, Jennay has been exposed to show her true colors and future intentions.

  • Karma Police
    February 4, 2016 at 4:06 pm

    Would someone teach Jenny how to knit? She needs a hobby.

  • Publius
    February 4, 2016 at 3:38 pm

    Jenny. I am turtle boy. Main Street Worcester. Or is that Lake Ave in Worcester. Some of us from June Street.

  • Maggie the Cat
    February 4, 2016 at 3:36 pm

    She’s a loser.

  • President Matt
    President Matt
    February 4, 2016 at 3:16 pm

    The most important revelation is:
    “We only write about the very finest nudniks society has to offer.”
    Now I’m not a fancy pants Inter Webs Lawyer but Ipso to the Facto, President Matt is not a top notch nudnik !!
    Thank You everyone!
    I wanna thank the Academy, and all the truly talented nudniks that have kept TB too busy to do an exposee on me.
    Thank You. Its the kindest compliment I gotten in years.

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