Mainstream Media Fails

Worcester Magazine Took A Steamy Dump On Catholics Proving That Everyone Does What Turtleboy Does

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Turtleboy Sports is the rogue media source in town. We say what we want because we don’t believe in censoring opinions. This is why the hippies hate us – the truth scares the shit out of them. It’s the reason we’re allowed to call out fake pastors like Aaron Payson who think that City Councillors have to drop everything they’re doing and respond to ridiculous emails designed to catch Mike Gaffney saying something they disagree with which they will then use against him. But the rest of the media in this town plays by different rules. They pretend like they’re not controversial and thus they don’t get boycotted. But as we’ve seen with Spanky and Old Balls at the Telegram, they can offend just as many people without any repercussions. Because at the end of the day they’re no different than Turtleboy.

Anyway, one of our favored media outlets is Worcester Magazine. They’ve been around forever and Walter Bird does a good job over there putting out some quality columns. Well they have a blurb called Worcesteria where one of their reporters, Tom Quinn, writes about the weekly comings and goings in Worcester. We think he’s pretty funny. But today he officially crossed the line into Turtleboy territory by taking a steamy dump on catholics everywhere:
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I don’t care that Tom Quinn wrote this. It’s a free country and we do the same exact shit over here at Turtleboy. Don’t like it? Don’t read Worcester Magazine. But this part right here would get Turtleboy lynched in town square:

“I’ve seen Catholic priests hold up a cup of wine and tell people they magically transformed it into blood, and everyone managed to keep a straight face then. These are the same people who claim David Blaine’s card tricks must be sleight of hand, by the way.”

Like I said, I think anything is fair game. But at the same time, you’re either a Turtleboy-esque smut blog or you’re the mainstream media. You can’t be both. If Worcester Magazine and Tom Quinn wanna make fun of catholics, go for it. But you’ve officially entered Turtleboy territory if you do.

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My question is, what time does the boycott start? I mean, if you’re a catholic, as thousands of Worcesterites are, he basically just said everything you believe in is a joke. Thinking that the wine you drink in church is the blood of Christ is so silly, and so comical, that it must take everything in you not to laugh out loud. Get it??!!

Like I said, more power to Tom Quinn for saying whatever the hell he wants to say. If he thinks the catholic faith is a joke then by all means, say what you want. It’s a free country. Just admit that you are what you are – Turtleboy 2.0.

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25 Comment(s)
  • Larry Mondello
    October 24, 2015 at 6:59 am

    Big mistake Worcester Magazine. What’s next mocking Christ’s Resserrection, the core belief of Catholics and Christians everywhere? Right now hundreds if not thousands of Catholics in Isis held territories and around the world are being murdered for their beliefs. And you mock them? Many are willing to die for their faith. Defy God risk Hell. Wanna know something smart ass? About a half minute after you’re dead you’ll be begging for God’s mercy.

    • Fillet o fish
      October 25, 2015 at 6:22 am

      Imagine if they mocked islam (Which they would never do, of course) but what do you think the response would be if they did? They’d be no talk of 1st Amendment rights about that.

  • Nanny
    October 23, 2015 at 5:55 pm

    Way more people read TBS than read that wormtown rag.

    • Fillet o fish
      October 25, 2015 at 6:16 am

      Agreed NO ONE reads Worcester Magazine anymore. See the huge stacks in the stores? They almost never get smaller.

  • Publius
    October 23, 2015 at 3:46 pm

    Many of the catholic bashers are the same people that have allowed Worcester to become a junky ghetto dump. Worcester magazine enters TB territory at their own peril.

  • TurtleBoySpurts
    October 23, 2015 at 2:32 pm

    Aw, the Catholic Turtles are suddenly all butthurt when somebody says something untoward about one of their religious leaders. The fucking hypocrisy is astounding. What a bunch of fucking pussies. Half of you probably got a reach around from one of the good Catholic Fathers somewhere along the way, so stuff it. Turtleboy’s been the one fomenting religious hatred on these pages, so blame him for the blowback.

    • RSoxGuy
      October 23, 2015 at 2:35 pm

      Surprise surprise. You completely missed the point. But go ahead and rant on troll. You’re just embarrassing yourself again.

      • TurtleBoySpurts
        October 23, 2015 at 5:16 pm

        There is no valid point here. The notion that a WoMag blogger rolling his eyes at the Catholic notion of transubstantiation in a passing thought is somehow equivalent to the savaging of other religions that Turtleboy has been promoting with the full-throated support of the Turtles, is ludicrous. Only a moron, such as yourself, would believe that. Turtleboy is just looking for cover for Gaffney because Mikey’s getting heat over it now, and I’m sure regretting his poor decision to associate with you fucks. His contention that there’s some equivalency here, thus proving “everybody is as bad as we Turtles are”, is the true steamy dump.

        • ItsAllABadDream
          October 23, 2015 at 5:31 pm

          I don’t think my reply indicated I was butthurt. In fact I think I made light of it with a fake declaration of a boycott. Meaning I responded with humor. Because I have my beliefs and don’t really care if someone else makes a statement implying my belief is wrong. Because I believe what I believe and don’t care if others agree or not. It truly doesn’t offend me.

          But more importantly, I love how you’re so scared of TBS that you read everything he writes and then attack the Turtle and the riders. That makes me happy 🙂 It’s funny. You could just accept a difference of opinion but you don’t. You attack. And as a result you lose. See? It’s funny! 🙂

        • Jeffrey Neal is a Giant Pussy and a Dangerous Person
          October 23, 2015 at 10:32 pm

          Holy Shit Jeff. I saw veins popping out of your forehead on that very angry rant. Calm down or else your head might explode. Which by the way might not be a bad thing since all you do is insult us all and make perverted innuendos YOU SICK FUCK!

    • Jeffrey Neal is a Giant Pussy and a Dangerous Person
      October 23, 2015 at 10:43 pm

      Hey Jiffy, where did you get the term butthurt from there Jiffy. Hey Jiffy. Hey hey Jiffy. How does it feel do be so hated Jiffy? Hey Jiffy. Hey Jiffy. Never got laid ever Jiffy so that sucks. Speaking of sucks, that is what you are good at Jiffy. Hey Jiffy. Hey Jiffy. Jeffrey Neal from south Worcester County is a perverted asshole and a little weenie punk.

      • hello
        October 23, 2015 at 11:47 pm

        Very mature, reflective response.

        • TurtleBoySpurts
          October 24, 2015 at 11:07 am

          It’s a shame some parents don’t monitor their children’s internet activity more closely. TBS may be adolescent in its presentation, but it’s no place for youngsters.

  • ItsAllABadDream
    October 23, 2015 at 12:26 pm

    Removing my sarcasm hat for just a second for this Catholic PSA – Jafreese, yes we Catholics do believe that the wine and the host are actually the body and blood of Jesus.
    With that out of the way, back to the boycott 🙂

    • J
      October 23, 2015 at 2:26 pm

      So you belive that you become Jesus? (Not being smart or anything, honest question)

      • ItsAllABadDream
        October 23, 2015 at 5:24 pm

        Honestly not being smart here either but if you eat a steak do you believe you become a cow? No, we don’t believe we become Jesus. We believe Jesus becomes a part of us.

        • J
          October 24, 2015 at 7:47 am

          Well you said you belive the host is the body of the jesus. That sounded a lot like you belive you became Jesus

          • waitwhat
            October 24, 2015 at 5:01 pm

            ‘the host’ is what we call the communion wafer

    • Jafreese
      October 23, 2015 at 5:45 pm

      Interesting, guess I misunderstood it, thanks.

  • Jafreese
    October 23, 2015 at 11:40 am

    I don’t think the priests try to pretend they turned wine into blood. They say the wine respesents the blood. Big difference. I’m not really Catholic, but if they really try to say they made blood all this time and I misunderstood it, then the jokes on me

    My question is, of a representative of a church gets into politics, aren’t they forfeiting their tax free status? Or doesn’t that not apply to fake reverends?

    • LocalYokel
      October 23, 2015 at 2:46 pm

      Nope, if you’re a Catholic, you’re supposed to believe that you’re actually eating the flesh and drinking the blood of Christ when you take Communion.

      Catholicism, Eastern Orthodoxy, Oriental Orthodoxy, and the Church of the East teach that the reality (the “substance”) of the elements of bread and wine is wholly changed into the body and blood of Jesus Christ, while the appearances (the “species”) remain. Transubstantiation (change of the reality) is the term used by Catholics to denote what is changed, not to explain how the change occurs, since the Catholic Church teaches that “the signs of bread and wine become, in a way surpassing understanding, the Body and Blood of Christ”.[35]

  • Skeptical
    October 23, 2015 at 11:36 am

    Religious people that get offended by jokes made about religion, regardless of the subject, or anything questioning religion, are just assholes. Take the criticism in stride, agree to disagree, and move the fuck on. Life is too damn busy to focus on disagreements with people that have other belief sets, unless they infringe upon someone else’s life in a very real way of course. That’s the only exception, really.

    I’m Christian, and I laughed my ass off at that. Though it is not a literal thing, the whole wine into blood bit, the point he is making used the joke in a very concise way. Anyone can call anyone they want a “fake pastor” because, what constitutes a real one anyway?

    And let’s say there is a criteria and Payson meets it. It is still within anyone’s free speech rights to call him that if they think so. End of story.

  • Ted
    October 23, 2015 at 11:27 am

    Tom Quinn is going to find out that eternity is a very, very long time.

  • mousy
    October 23, 2015 at 11:14 am

    That was epic.

  • ItsAllABadDream
    October 23, 2015 at 9:50 am

    The boycott starts here and now! I will continue to never read Worcester Magazine!

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