Hoodrat Heroes

Chode Nectar Princess Selling Discount Morning After Pill On FB Yard Sale Page Is So Fall River It Hurts

She decided not to use it, fam! 

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On today’s episode of people who shouldn’t be allowed on the internet I bring you Cassie Renee. Her unplanned pregnancy is your gain! 

What’s up with the dumb girls named Cassie in the Reev? It’s like the Guttermuppet bat signal or some shit. 

She thought it was a good idea to sell her unused emergency contraception on a Fall River yard sale page for a discount. You can’t get much more Fall River than that! 
Because it was Fall River someone popped that screenshot up on Threw Up and all hell broke loose. Cassie chimed in. 

Jenny Pina, that’s not sex… that would be the rape of a child. 

Not normal. 

Now I’m trying to imagine a circumstance where I, as a female, would just have this shit just laying around my house. I’m in a committed relationship. Birth control is pretty available and cheap/free. When you’re with someone as long as this chick claims to have been you pretty much have your pull and pray tummy pancake routine set. 

Nah, not in Fall River. You’re going to blast a few Bubble Guppies inside her, toss her a pill that will rip the actual guts out of her vagina and make her wish she was dead for a week or three. (I took it ONCE after a whoops with my baby daddy in the early years and I’d rather drop another calf than chomp that uterine shedding snack ever again.) Then she’s going to decide the only way to keep you around is to let your benefit batter in her stinky pinky and finally, when she’s out of drug money, she’s going to try and hock your pity puddle pill to anyone within the South Coastal region. 

Next time just do the poor dude plowing you a favor and swallow the cock snot. You’re clearly not mentally mature enough for more dependents. 

What could go wrong with second hand pre-abortion pills online anyways? She’s got to be reputable. 

Just look at that face. 

I wish I could say that I dream about people not being idiots on the Internet but then we wouldn’t have fun at her expense. 

Actually, I just really wanted to see how many smart ass dick, vag, period, and semen jokes I could fit in to one story. 

#blessed

9 Comment(s)
  • Turtleboy are a bunch of homos
    August 1, 2017 at 10:24 am

    I’m just curious… Turtleboy Sports claims it shames people publicly who commit crimes or just do shady shit. How is this woman harming anyone and why does this woman need your brand of justice for selling her legal, over the counter, unused contraceptive? Aren’t you the ones who are against bullying (for no good reason)? Aren’t you the voice of society’s victims that cannot get justice on their own? Are you that desperate for an article that you have to post this piece of shit garbage article attacking a woman who has done nothing wrong? Fuckin losers

  • Itsjustme
    August 1, 2017 at 7:22 am

    Am I the only one that finds it strange someone who is in a long term relationship isn’t on some type of regular birth control?

  • They call me Ponch
    August 1, 2017 at 7:13 am

    I’ d make that catch breakfast in bed every morning for the rest of my life!

    ( and sprinkle some of that Plan B all over it.
    Like Frank’s Red Hot, I’d put that shit on everything!)

    Dang.

  • Spike
    July 31, 2017 at 11:18 pm

    Gov assistance written all over this one. Has to be illegal, bust her.

  • Yupinmywhitet
    July 31, 2017 at 11:09 pm

    I get the humor and fallriverness of it all, but whoever wrote this does not know that plan b and an abortion pill are 2 completely different medications. Plan B is a stronger version of the birth control pills to PREVENT pregnancy. An abortion pill which they are referring to getting sick for a week and all the other nice details provided is a completely different thing….

    • They were being facetious
      August 1, 2017 at 7:16 am

      Sarcasm, look it up.

      • Sorry, pal. You're incorrect.
        August 1, 2017 at 3:50 pm

        No. No, they weren’t.

  • Kat
    July 31, 2017 at 10:24 pm

    WHY NOT JUST RETURN IT TO THE STORE OR TRY TO GET STORE CREDIT IF SHE DOESNT HAVE A RECEIPT…comeeeeee onnnn …idiot!!!!

  • bird
    July 31, 2017 at 10:01 pm

    Maybe she forgot that she took it up the ass and didn’t need the pill.

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