Because if MTV made a video called, “Dear Mexican guys – stop crossing the border illegally,” that would go over real well.
Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.
A lot of people have been talking about this hilarious, yet blatantly racist video MTV put out called “Dear White Guys.” It features a bunch of millenials who have never paid taxes, but yet who honestly believe they’re smarter than everyone else because they majored in Environmental Transgenderism and were brainwashed by professors who couldn’t get a real job. They tell white guys out there all the things they’re doing wrong in 2016, that they can work to improve on in 2017:
You know what the best part is? They lost the election. This is like the Cleveland Browns giving the Patriots advice on how to win a Super Bowl. Their worst nightmare is about to be President. And yet they truly believe that they are in a position to give people advice about things that we’re all doing wrong. It’s almost as if their goal all along was eight years of Trump.
First of all, I’m not even gonna bother being offended by this. I’m just gonna use this as a reference point the next time someone mentions the words “white privilege.” Because there is literally no other group of people that MTV would do this to except for white guys. This is what white privilege is. It’s the right to be degraded and generalized in pop culture, and have no one get outraged by it.
Just close your eyes and imagine a video called “Dear black guys.” And the first thing they said was, “stop committing crimes and killing each other.” Or imagine a video called, “Dear Latina chicks,” and the first thing they said was, “Stop being so theatrical and take it easy on the Goya.” Or a video called “Dear transgendered non-conforming binary snowflakes,” and the first thing they said was, “try to hide your Adam’s Apple a little better, and let an actual girl with a functional vagina win the 100 meter dash.”
Yea, I’m sure those things would go over swimmingly. Definitely.
But then again, this is MTV, a music station that plays musics about as often as Turtleboy Sports write about sports. And making white people look bad is their specialty. After all, these two shows right here are two of their biggest hits:
And what do the Jersey Shore and Teen Mom have in common? Oh yea, generalizing white people by making them look stupid and/or crazy.
Anyway, let’s have some fun with this. We’ll show you each of the suggestions these SJW’s offer for 2017, and offer them some better advice instead. Ya know, because at the end of the day we won.
America was never great for anyone who wasn’t a white guy.”
Right. The only people who have ever benefitted from living in America are white guys.
Dear mystery ethnicity chick – America was great enough for your ancestors to choose to leave whatever shithole country they came from, because it was just that great. Stop pretending that America was never great. It just makes older people want to vote for whoever you hate simply out of spite.
Can we all just agree that black lives matter isn’t the opposite of all lives matter? Black lives just matter. There’s no need to overcomplicate it.”
Dear African-American chick: Can we just all agree that black lives are encompassed in the term “all lives matter” and stop being a whiny little queef?
“Also, blue lives matter isn’t a thing. Cops weren’t born with blue skin.
Dear white and black guy: Tell your friends in black lives matter to please stop spreading false narratives about cops resulting in some members of your terrorist organization killing them. The “blue lives matter” thing happened after five cops in Dallas were killed for wearing blue uniforms. Perhaps if you want to start winning elections you can begin by not shitting on slogans that simply point out that cops are human beings, despite wearing blue uniforms to work. Ya know, because telling people to stop saying “blue lives matter” is a great way to ensure that everyone still hates you.
“Dear white guys stop bragging about being woke. Stop saying woke.”
Dear white guy and chubtacular wild card: The only people who use the term “woke” are social justice warriors like yourselves. Please stop saying that, because the instant you say it everyone stops taking you seriously.
“Learn what mansplaining is, and then stop doing it.”
Dear white chick: Stop using words like “mansplaining” because it gives away the fact that you’re majoring in Gender Studies, and then everyone ignores the rest of the verbal diarrhea that comes out of your polepolisher. Also, consider contacting Freddie Prince Jr. for a complete makeover, and you too could be prom queen.
“Oh, and if you’re a judge, don’t prioritize the well-being of a an Ivy League woman, over the well-being of the woman he assaulted.”
Dear white guy: You look exactly like the Stanford rapist who sexually assaulted a woman and got 6 months in jail for it. Consider a new look.
“We all love Beyonce, and yes she’s black. So of course she cares about black issues. I’m looking at you Fox News.”
Dear black guy: Stop assuming that everyone likes Beyonce. Most of us don’t. She’s a hotter version of Nickelback, and her music pretty much blows. Hillary Clinton also assumed everyone loves Beyonce, which is why she thought she could win by campaigning with her. Turns out Americans don’t like Beyonce and her race-baiting bullshit nearly as much as they like jobs.
Also, stop assuming that “black issues” are a thing that exist. All black people do not face the same issues. Some like you might be primarily concerned with finding racism where it doesn’t exist. But many black men 10 or 20 years older than you are concerned about putting food on the table, paying for their kid’s college tuition, and the Patriots winning another Super Bowl.
“Feel free to take Kanye West though. You guys can have him. You know what you did Kanye.”
Dear black guy and black chick: Stop supporting Kanye when he’s saying racist things like, “George Bush doesn’t care about black people,” but shitting on Kanye when he talks to Donald Trump about violence in Chicago.
“Nobody who has black friends, says they have black friends.”
Dear white guy: Stop trying to constantly prove to black people that you’re one of the “good ones.” Stop using terms like “allies” and “check my privilege.” Try living in towns that aren’t almost completely all white. It makes it harder for people to take you seriously when you lecture other people about racism.
“Just because you have black friends doesn’t mean you can’t be racist. You can be racist with black friends.”
Dear black guy: Stop looking for ways to call people racist. It’s a losing strategy that led to the election of your worst nightmare as President. Also, please stop perpetuating the myth that only white people are capable of racism. It makes you look like a nudnik.
“We know nobody is perfect. But try to do a little better in 2017.”
Dear morons: We won. You lost. Meanwhile, normal liberals truly hate you and secretly blame you for Trump becoming President in the first place. Because make no mistake about it – you did this. Try not to come off as the pretentious, self-satisfied dooshnozzles that you are, and people won’t dislike you so much.
“Some of you guys do a great job. Some of you don’t.”
Dear white chick: Stop thinking that there is a single man out there who has any desire to have you tell them they’re doing a great job. Ditch the granny glasses, throw some conditioner in your hair, shave your armpits, and maybe then guys will pretend like they want your approval.
“Please, because 2016 was bad. 2017 can’t be worse than this. Cuz this is bad!!”
Dear black guy: Stop assuming that most of us thought this year was bad because of white guys. This year mostly sucked because whiny little bitches like yourself blocked roads while the rest of us were trying to get to work. Then millions of people voted for a candidate they didn’t like (Donald Trump) solely out of spite for you and your snowflake friends. So at the end of the day you kept Hillary from becoming President, so it wasn’t all THAT bad.
We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages.