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Today’s nudnik of the week is a local dooshnozzle from Ware named Kevin Blackmer, who decided to share his thoughts about the tragic shooting in Orlando in which 49 innocent people were massacred. Beware, graphic language:
He’s a real winner:
And a bad ass:
Tough guy. Real tough guy. Shocking he’s born and raised in the beautiful town of Ware.
Never saw that one coming. 99.9% chance he’s good friends with at least one of the Ware Vibrator Bandits. Because apparently it’s a rule that if you’re from Ware you have to wear your hat like a huge millenial dooshcanoe.
In 2008 when Kevin Blackmer was 17 he was caught at a local bar in town called Robbie’s, which apparently doubled as an illegal strip club. Because……….Ware. Seriously, read this story, it’s hilarious.
Anyway, Kevin Blackmer was a regular there and spent what little money he had getting shithoused with the rest of Ware’s finest when it was busted up by an undercover cop. Ya see, Robbie’s had a liquor license and actually allowed exotic dancers, but they couldn’t get fully naked. But then again, this is Ware – a place where the motto is “
If you keep on your thong, you’re doing it wrong.”So naturally the dancers didn’t follow the rules. The undercover cop noticed these fully nude chicks, who got run out of the Brookfields or couldn’t find work in Warren, giving fully nude lap dances left and right.
Kevin was there. But instead of just manning up and admitting that he was doing something he wasn’t supposed to be doing, he told Mommy that he was “lured” into the bar and forced to spend $700. And Mom believed it:
“Two people also testified about their complaints, including former neighbor Tammy Butler, who said her then-17-year-old son was served alcohol and spent $700 at the bar in September. He was saving the money to buy a car, she said. Her son, Kevin Blackmer, now 18, testified he was “lured” into the bar and was served liquor although he felt uncomfortable because he was underage and drinking. While he said he never saw nudity, he said he did see “a few girls making out.”
Hey Mom, your son also hates gay people and wants them all to die. I’m sure he’ll just tell you that he was lured onto the Internet and forced to write these things while he was on his way to church though.
Oh, and here’s a fun comment about Kevin’s VERY upset mother:
Tammy Butler has been kicked out of every bar in town, some for life! What a fine upstanding citizen. Ware selectmen are fools for actually beliveing ANYTHING that comes out of her mouth. She is nothing but a junkie. I highly doubt her kid has $7 nevermind $700. Come on really?! Would really like to know where Kevin Blackmer works that he has $700 to drop at Robbies… I bet she tries to sue someone.
And shockingly enough this winner is single. I know, you would think that a winner like this would be long off the market by now:
But you’d be wrong, because we found his 2014 dating profile from a site called “Meet Me”
He’s bored and looking for a gorgeous woman (any will do, so long as they’re gorgeous, and he’s definitely in a position where he can demand a gorgeous girlfriend) to have a blast with and share some great laughs. He has a lot of hilarious jokes about dead gay people, so brace yourself for some great times!!! And if that’s not your type of humor he can tell you the story about the time he told his mother that he told his Mom that he was lured into a bootleg Ware strip club and she repeated this lie at a Board of Selectmen meeting.
Welcome to the Turtleboy Hall of Shame Kevin Blackmer!!
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