Sports

Top 5 Reasons You’re An Asshole If You’re Rooting For Floyd Mayweather

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How anyone can root for Floyd Mayweather in his fight against Manny Pacquiao tonight is beyond me. I’m sure there’s probably one guy in the Philippines who is rooting for Floyd just because he’s the village asshole. But I see Americans everywhere rooting for Floyd. Rooting for Mayweather is like rooting for ISIS. Only a complete asshole would do something like that. Speaking of, here are some assholes rooting for Floyd Mayweather tonight:

  • Nikki Minaj
  • 50 Cent
  • Mariah Carey
  • P Diddy
  • Michael Strahan
  • Tom Brady

There’s no way Tom Brady is really rooting for Floyd. My guess is Bob Kravitz and Gregg Doyel hacked his Facebook and this is somehow tied to the Deflategate conspiracy. Because Tom Brady can do no wrong. He would never root for Floyd Mayweahter. Here’s the five biggest reasons Floyd Mayweather sucks big ones..

5. He’s a boring fighter

Champions are supposed to be fun to watch. Every time Mike Tyson stepped in the ring you knew there was a good chance you were gonna see a knockout. Floyd Mayweather fights suck to watch. As pumped as I am for this fight, I just have this feeling I can’t shake that Floyd is going to do his usual dancing around the ring, dodging shots and jabbing Manny into a judge’s decision victory.

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4. He’s ruined boxing

Boxing used to be America’s biggest sport. Even 10-15 years ago it was much bigger than today. But because of Floyd Mayweather MMA has grown in popularity. People find boxing unwatchable because he’s the best. It’s too bad, because boxing is a million times better than MMA, which is basically two guys in speedos embracing each other in homo-erotic wrestling. I’ve seen many Floyd fights before, and every time it’s over the first thing I think is, “

well that was a waste of money.”

 

3. He’s not funny

I don’t mind cockyness and abrasiveness in my fighters. Muhammed Ali was cocky. Mike Tyson was a loud mouth dooshnozzle. But at least those guys were entertaining and funny. Floyd is just an asshole for the purpose of being an asshole.

 

2. Biebs

Nuff said.

Floyd-Mayweather-Jr-and-singer-Justin-Bieber-celebrate-Mayweathers-victory (1)

 

1. He’s human garbage

Don’t forget, if you’re rooting for Floyd Mayweather tonight, you’re rooting for a guy who went to jail for this:

Mayweather returned around 5 a.m., accompanied by another man, both of who were let in by one of Mayweather and Harris’s children. Harris was asleep on her living room couch when she was jarred awake by the sound of Mayweather screaming at her about texts he had found from Watson on her cell phone.

When Harris admitted that she was seeing Watson, Mayweather exploded. He punched her repeatedly in the rear of her head, pulled her off the couch by her hair, and twisted her arm. He screamed that he would “kill” Harris and Watson, that he would make both “disappear.” Harris screamed for her children Koraun and Zion, aged 10 and 9, to call the police. Mayweather turned to the kids, according to the police report, and yelled that he would “beat their asses if they left the house or called the police.”

Koraun tried to run up the stairs, but Mayweather’s associate blocked his path. Eventually, he was able to make it outside, and the police were summoned. Koraun told police he had witnessed his father punching and kicking his mother while she lay on the ground. By the time the cops had entered the home, Mayweather had fled, taking Harris’s cell phone with him. In a 2013 interview with Yahoo Sports, Harris stated that she believes Mayweather might have killed her that night if Koraun hadn’t been able to alert the authorities when he did.

Here’s Floyd’s son’s account that he gave police:

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So if you’re rooting for Floyd you are rooting for a guy who beat the shit out of a woman, nearly killing her in front of his own children, all while refusing to fight the only guy in the world who could possibly beat him.

What sucks is Floyd is gonna win. I hope I’m wrong, but I’ve just seen this too many times before. Manny Pacquiao’s been pissing me off too, because he thinks he’s fucking Carrie Underwood and Frank Underdwood put together. He’s terrible at singing, and I assume he’s terrible at politics, but because everyone around him kisses his ass he’s pursuing careers in both fields.  I think he could be the next William Hung, except he ACTUALLY thinks he’s good:

Rumor has it that he might be singing his own entrance music tonight. Basically if he does that it tells you his head isn’t in this as much as it should be. Imagine Tom Brady singing the National Anthem before the Super Bowl while running for congress. It wouldn’t give me a good feeling about the Patriots winning.

Stranger things have happened though. Everyone who has fought Floyd always falls into his traps. For instance, I actually thought Canelo Alvarez could’ve given him a fight, but instead he went in there, tried to outbox Floyd, and ended up giving the viewers one of the most boring fights you’ll ever see. He was there to collect a paycheck. You can’t try to outbox Floyd because you will lose. You have to take it to him. And taking it to your opponent is what Pacquiao does best. If he actually fights his fight instead of the one Floyd wants him to, this fight could actually live of to it’s billing.

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9 Comment(s)
  • July 9, 2015 at 3:54 am

    Reality check smarty pants, nobody in the philippines gives a S*it about Mayweather.

  • MS
    May 7, 2015 at 12:43 pm

    While I agree Floyd is a piece of shit it was Don King that destroyed boxing in general

  • Larry Mondello
    May 3, 2015 at 8:04 am

    This fight was five years too late. Both guys are over the hill. The fact that Pac Man has been KOed should tell you something. As for Mayweather, he’s talented, does just enough to win, but boring as hell. A crazed Duran in his prime with those Charlie Manson eyes would have chewed the punk up and spit him out.

  • kyle
    May 2, 2015 at 9:06 pm

    @turtleboy
    Tom Brady absolutely loves Floyd, do yourself a favor and watch Mayweather’s documentary, Brady shows his support for him in that too. “Your my guy Floyd.”-Tom Brady
    Btw, I love how you decided to cross Brady of the list when he happens to be the only white person on the list. Totally no agenda there right? Smh, racist POC!

    • Finnish Goalie
      May 3, 2015 at 1:00 am

      It’s crossed out because of unrequited bromance.

  • Clean Hippie
    May 2, 2015 at 4:44 pm

    Who knew Mayweather’s son was more literate than he was..

  • JoeMomma
    May 2, 2015 at 1:26 pm

    I used to watch boxing. I have not watched a single fight since Hagler got robbed by Leonard. Sugar Ray danced around for 12 rounds yet walked away with the belt. I could have taken any punch he threw that night. Ever since then I knew boxing was a few levels below WWF when it came to sports. I wouldn’t waste a penny on either of these two losers.

    • Clean Hippie
      May 2, 2015 at 4:45 pm

      Nothing can top this year’s Wrestlemania.. nWo vs DX anyone?

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