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11 Year Old Auburn Kid Made Up Story About Razor Blade In Candy Because Puberty Is One Hell Of A Drug

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Growing up as kids we were always taught to check the Halloween candy with our parents once we got home from trick or treating. I don’t think I ever did that once, because evidently I’m the only kid whose parents didn’t love him. I mean, I just don’t understand what the point was? One of my neighbors is gonna randomly open up a plastic container, put in poison, and then seal it back up without anyone noticing? Just for the fuck of it? You’d have to own your own sweatshop to pull that one off. And what’s the point? People get off on killing random kids for no reason? As a kid I was willing to take my chances and start stuffing my face.

Anyway, the reason I bring this up is that yesterday the Auburn Police reported this on their Facebook page:

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So this got shared a million times and everyone was freaking out about it. They even narrowed it down to a handful of houses in a certain neighborhood, all of which were about to go on the FBI’s terrorist watch list.

Well as it turns out the whole thing was a lie. The 11 year old kid made the whole thing up:

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Oops!!!

Alright, so people are really, really pissed at this 11 year old girl, and I get that. But you really gotta chill out. She never would’ve gotten the idea to do this if we weren’t force fed the lie that evil neighbors open up your candy and put razor blades inside of them. That literally never happens. But we’ve been told it does so many times that this child, in a desperate plea for attention, decided to make it happen on their own.

It’s an 11 year old kid. Bottom line is that 11 year old kids do stupid shit all the time. If it weren’t for Facebook this wouldn’t even be a big story. But because it is the court of public opinion has decided that this child must do hard labor in a North Korean prison camp to make amends:

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Juvy? Is juvy still a thing we threaten kids with? LOL. This seems like a perfectly reasonable solution to this mess.

A lot of people are saying this too:

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Hey Turtleboy figured out WHY an 11 year old would make up such a story. It’s called puberty. Because 11 year old kids do dumb shit all over America every day of the week. There’s no need to try to find a cause of this, or to get them to seek help. They do it because they’re 11 year olds.

And yea, I realize the vast majority will never do anything like this, but it doesn’t change the fact that sometimes kids do fucked up shit for attention merely because they are kids. It doesn’t mean they are the devil child. They don’t need to see a shrink. They just need to go down to the Auburn Police Department with a hand written letter of apology, and then do some volunteer work with the police so that they learn their lesson. Because learning lessons is what growing up is all about.

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8 Comment(s)
  • Steven Stover
    November 1, 2015 at 11:24 pm

    Trick or Ttreeted. No test to be a Auburn cop? Just donate enough to the Democrat war chest I guess. Dumb asses.

  • Joej
    November 1, 2015 at 10:09 pm

    Seriously? Before the internets, these were called urban legends. Now they qualify as click bait on Facebook and the rest of social media. It’s just the next generation of dumb people being duped again. “Juvy?” Yeah, is that still a thing? Maybe they should be sent to “reform school” too. Oh I know, how about a spanking–that ALWAYS turned bad kids into perfect little girls and boys. If the only big story, that came out of kids and Halloween, was some little shit playing a trick on adults, then this one was pretty tame.

  • Dawn
    November 1, 2015 at 9:56 pm

    I agree, kids do stupid stuff sometimes, no need to get a shrink or go to court. People need to chill with surrounding everyone with social services for every little thing.

  • WormtownorBust
    November 1, 2015 at 6:15 pm

    Bring back the death penalty!

  • Amanda
    November 1, 2015 at 5:25 pm

    I don’t think she should get in any real trouble. Just have the shit scared out of her by the cops and her parents. Maybe some community service too. So she knows that if she ever pulls something like this again she will be in big trouble. I agree that at age 11 kids know right from wrong but I also know at that age some kids pull some stupid stuff. She just needs to be taught that this kind of thing isn’t acceptable and if it were to happen again she will probably end up in a juvenile detention center. Kids learn from their mistakes and I’m sure she’ll catch hell from plenty of people that know her. Hopefully that will be enough to make her realize this type of thing isn’t ok. And, well, the next time she pulls something like this there should be legal action taken.

  • RJ
    November 1, 2015 at 3:12 pm

    11 is old enough to know right from wrong. Not saying she should go to prison or anything, but there should be some consequences. Maybe a dozen hours of community service.

    • Tara
      November 1, 2015 at 4:24 pm

      Ok- while I normally support you and what you post and did laugh at alot of this- blaming this on puberty is not true. At 11 I was playing with Barbies- not making up bullshit to get attention. This little fkn turd caused mass fkn hysteria across the STATE via the internet because that is how far this crap flung. 11 yr olds know right from wrong- the parents of this little cherub need a reality slap and yep- I agree they need to make some visits down to the police station because when I was 15,16 and up, when I was being a turd, my mom would bring me to visit Donna Fisher or my moms classmate Paul, who would give me a good talking to. I think this whole thing is a flippen mess and they need to file charges on her and her parents. I didnt have the check the candy crap rammed down my throat- I did it as I went- stayed in areas I knew and really find that if they were going to get the FBI involved- the consequences for this child need to be something that, as a whole, will scare younger kids into NOT doing this because even having your NAME mentioned to the FBI is not even a little bit funny.

      • JayC
        November 2, 2015 at 12:31 pm

        While 11 yr olds these days a much more advanced with technology, they are still reasoning and thinking with 11 yr old brains. Take a breather here.

        Should the parents be charged? Absolutely not! Even the worst parent would probably be very embarrassed. Give the parents the flexibility to parent. Should the kid be charged? No way! Maybe the kid should wash some police cruisers or help pick up garbage with the DPW for a handful of weekends, or something to remind them that decisions have consequences. If the kid doesn’t learn their lesson, Auburn PD certainly has it on file to make any future enforcement decisions.

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