Nudniks

20 Year Old Portsmouth Waiter Tells Mom Obvious Lie About Getting Robbed On Way Home From Work, Mom Posts On Facebook, Townsfolk Give Him Tips To Make Up For Money He Probably Blew On Weed 

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So I saw this on a Portsmouth, NH community page last week….

Oh no!! Sounds serious. Poor kid was on his way home from work, got pushed in the back, was told to hand over his $80 in tips, and that was the end of that. It got hundreds of likes and comments as a lot of people worried that a stray man is out there robbing people around every bend in this quiet little beach down.

But it also doesn’t say if the bad guy was armed, and for some reason the “victim” didn’t get a description of the perp. He just heard a voice behind him, handed all of his money to this individual, and didn’t bother trying to see what they looked like. Nevertheless, it was written on Facebook so it simply must be true.

So we wanted to get to the bottom of this and decided to look up the Portsmouth Police log from April 4th, and as you can see here, there’s no mention of anything like that.

The “victim’s” name is Indigo Jamison Beene-Jenny. IJBJ for short.

AKA “Yung Lean”

AKA “stab a bitch”

And although we couldn’t find his incident in the police log, we did find him in other police logs for drug possession….

Oh yea, I’m sure Mom got the whole story here.

This is a map of that area:

It starts at his work (Row 34) and ends where Mom says he lives with Mom. The X is where he was allegedly robbed. I’m sure walking 7 or 8 blocks in the opposite direction is how he normally gets home.

Of course what probably happened here is that he blew all his money, or he got it taken from him in a drug deal gone bad. Then he went home and told Mom a sob story because Mom believes everything, and the next thing you know he’s the feel good story in town. And it worked too….

Oh, and he didn’t call the police the night it happened either because he was “freaked out.” They called the next day:

Yea, generally when you’re “freaked out” because you were just the innocent victim of a crime, you call the cops. But yea, “he knows now” to call the cops the next time he’s robbed. Because lots of 20 year olds don’t understand that you call the police when you’re the victim of a crime.

Nevertheless, people are sheep, and they saw someone post something on Facebook and it had to be true. Thus a bunch of kind-hearted individuals decided they’d go to his work, buy dinner from him, and tip him nicely to make up for the loot he just was “robbed” of:

Cash money!! Best scam ever!! Same time next week!

Naturally the conversation evolved into an argument about guns, because apparently when people think that are bad guys out there robbing innocent people of their hard earned money it’s a bad thing to protect yourself:

Good news guys – you don’t have to argue over guns anymore because this never actually happened. It was just a kid who had to come up with a lie to tell his Mom, she believed it, and he ended up making a few extra bucks because of it.

12 Comment(s)
  • Narcanista
    April 16, 2018 at 7:47 am

    Blahpipo…..

  • Doubting Thomas
    April 13, 2018 at 3:23 am

    Wonder if he’s got that “disease” that’s been going around?

  • Jojo
    April 12, 2018 at 11:32 pm

    There are always a million experts, Zuckerberg needs to tell congress how many experts he creates daily on Facebook on every subject.

  • TJB
    April 12, 2018 at 7:19 pm

    Inigo what? That name sounds like someone with Too Much JAMESON tried making up a name on a bender.

  • Captain Trips
    April 12, 2018 at 5:17 pm

    Lost his money on a bad weed deal.

    Poor little boy

    • GingyKidd
      April 12, 2018 at 9:08 pm

      At 20 years old, you should know how NOT to get burned in a “bad weed deal” if you don’t you’re most likely mentally handicapped.

      More than likely the kid is doing dope or something else. That’s the “thing” now. Wicked cool. Weed is nothing.

  • It must be true if Turtleboy says it is
    April 12, 2018 at 5:09 pm

    How do we know he didn’t get robbed? And what are the police going to do even if he called them? Seems like you are just desperate for stories

    • Captain Trips
      April 12, 2018 at 5:17 pm

      Fuck off

    • Screw PC
      April 12, 2018 at 6:25 pm

      Because, Indigo, you would have filed a police report if you were actually robbed, you fucking stooge. That’s so it wouldn’t happen again when you go way out of your way home to Christian Shore to go pick up the sticky.

    • GingyKidd
      April 12, 2018 at 9:09 pm

      No one is saying he didn’t get robbed, he did, by a drug dealer.

  • Kanacke Hasser
    April 12, 2018 at 4:44 pm

    He made up the robbery story to cover up the fact that he blew his tips on the pot that he got in Christian Shore.

  • MrSmiley
    April 12, 2018 at 3:29 pm

    Kid’s name is Indigo hyphen hyphen. He’s fucked from the start.

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