Social Justice Warriors

20 Year Olds Can’t Buy Cigarettes In Worcester But Can Vote And Die For Their Country After Morons On Board Of Health Raise Age To 21


Join the Revolution and Like Turtleboy Sports on Facebook, and/or follow us on Twitter.

Like the Free Turtleboy Facebook page to follow our posts when our other page is arbitrarily suspended. If we ever get shut down for good, this will become the new Turtleboy Sports main Facebook page.

Want to have your business advert viewed over 2 million times per month? Email us at for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.





We do a lot of dumb things in Worcester, but this headline might take the cake:

Oh sweet Jesus. The stupidity never ends. Look, Turtleboy thinks cigarettes are nasty. There’s nothing worse than talking to somebody who just ripped a butt and smells like your crusty old grandmother. But this is America. If you wanna smoke and take years off of your own life, then that’s your right. Only in a place like Worcester could you look an 18 year old in the face and say, “You’re old enough to die fighting ISIS, but you can’t smoke a cigarette when you get home.” Because that is perfectly logical.

Screen Shot 2016-05-31 at 12.26.24 PM

Let’s look at the dumb things people are saying about this:

Screen Shot 2016-06-02 at 1.48.27 PM

Please explain to me how this is going to keep people from smoking. I’m all ears. Do you think a 20 year old who is addicted to cigarettes is suddenly gonna stop because he can’t buy them in Worcester? Because if you do, then I’ve got a world famous horse ranch in Nantucket I’d like to sell you.

Screen Shot 2016-06-02 at 1.46.45 PM

Yea, 18 year olds aren’t capable of making smart decisions, so we should take away their freedom of choice. Guess that means they shouldn’t be allowed to vote either, right? After all, they’re not smart enough to know what they’re doing. And what about abortion? They might make a choice at 18 that they wouldn’t have made at 21. We should protect them from themselves. Because when they turn 21 they’ll magically have all this wisdom which will prevent them from purchasing cigarettes in this one particular municipality. This is BRILLIANT!!!!

Screen Shot 2016-06-02 at 1.44.20 PM

Yes, this will reduce access to cigarettes from people IN WORCESTER!!! And as we all know, Worcester is the only place that exists in the entire world. There is nothing outside of Worcester. Once you leave you just fall off the face of the earth.

Screen Shot 2016-05-31 at 9.05.29 PM

Oh wait, there’s these other places called “Shrewsbury” and “Auburn” and “Leicester” and they have stores that will still sell cigarettes to 19 year old adults. So anyone with a brain would realize that all this is going to do is destroy small businesses in Worcester and decrease tax revenue, which of course will be made up by an increase in property taxes. GREAT IDEA!!!! Very well thought out!!!

This is the chairman of the Board of Health:




Abigail Averbach. She’s your typical West Side busy body who think she’s smarter than everyone else. She looks down on people who live in Grafton Hill and thinks they’re not smart enough to make their own choices. Therefore they NEED her infinite wisdom in order to protect themselves from cancer. Because at the end of the day they are her children and she is the adult who is taking something away from them.

Oh yea, and guess who appointed this idiot and the rest of the current five members Board of Health?

“City Manager Ed Augustus Jr. has named Abigail Averbach, Joanne Calista and Jerry Gurwitz to the board. Two more appointments remain for the five-member board. The city manager will assign one of the five as chairman.”

Of course. Easy Ed Augustus. Because this is what happens when you appoint a politician to be a City Manager. City Managers are supposed to be experienced in the field of business and municipal administration. That’s why we have one of those instead of a strong Mayor. Because a Mayor is more often than not a dumbass elected boob, propped up by a political machine.

But Ed Augustus has no business degree, and he has no experience in management. He’s been a politician his entire life. And this is the kind of dumb ass thing that politicians do – they appoint their friends to the Board of Health and they turn Worcester into the nanny state.

And guess who was the ONLY City Councilor who had a problem with giving the Board of Health this sort of power?

This year, after much debate and staunch opposition from At-Large City Councilor Mike Gaffney, the board was granted regulatory powers as part of a redesign of the city’s Public Health Division.

Of course. The people’s councilor. The voice of reason in a sea of madness. How dumb do you have to be to vote for Jumpin’ Joe Puddy?

And look at how it’s going to affect small businesses in Worcester:

Rabab Hamka Jaber, who owns Manarah Hookah Cafe on Harding Street, said she has spent a considerable amount of time and money getting her 18-plus hookah cafe up and running. She said her business caters to that 18- to 21-year-old segment of the population, and said raising the minimum age would affect 90 percent of her sales. She said she wouldn’t have spent money retrofitting the building to separate it from an adjoining bakery her family also owns if she knew the proposed regulations would be going into place.

Sorry Rabab, that was your fault for being entrepreneurial and opening a business in Worcester. Sure, this will destroy your business, but it will make 19 year olds spend more money on gas to buy cigarettes, so clearly it’s a worthwhile endeavor.

Screen Shot 2015-12-28 at 1.20.12 PM

The bottom line is that this is going to fix nothing, it takes tax revenue out of the city, it destroys small businesses, and since an unelected board dictated this without the consent of the people, it is undemocratic. This is the type of city Worcester has become under Ed Augustus. Police get no respect. Firefighters have been working without a contract for years. The Chandler ballfields were nearly turned into a parking lot. Groups like Mosaic are raking in hundreds of thousands of dollars a year to do NOTHING. But it’s OK because 20 year olds can’t buy cigarettes here anymore.


We urge you to support the Turtleboy Sponsors by doing business with them. Without them none of this is possible. Click on any of them to check out their sites or Facebook pages.

Screen Shot 2015-12-01 at 10.29.56 AM

4ba27317-991b-4352-b70d-f489eadcfdef (1)

Screen Shot 2016-04-30 at 11.17.50 PM

Screen Shot 2016-04-30 at 11.15.26 PM

Screen Shot 2016-05-31 at 9.05.29 PM

Screen Shot 2016-05-31 at 12.26.24 PM


Screen Shot 2015-12-28 at 1.20.12 PM

Screen Shot 2016-01-18 at 4.54.34 PM

Screen Shot 2016-05-30 at 10.01.59 AM


Wormtown Brewery, Union Tavern, Scavone Plumbing, Bennie’s Cafe,  JJM Insurance, Smokestack Urban BarbecueSmitty’s Tavern, Julio’s Liquors,, The Gun Parlor Range, Attorney Anthony Salerno, Harris Auto Body, Rotti Power Equipment in West Boylston

Want to have your business advert viewed over 2 million times per month? Email us at for more information, and check out our website about types of advertising we offer.

Follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook

Click on the image to get your Turtleboy Sports Revolution hoodie or browse other merchandise from the Turtleboy store.

Click on the image to get your Turtleboy Sports Revolution hoodie or browse other merchandise from the Turtleboy store.

35 Comment(s)
  • Justice
    June 3, 2016 at 9:18 am

    Studies show that the average person lacks common sense and good judgement until late 20s , so why don’t they use REAL research to drive home their bans…on smoking, drinking, voting, driving, etc.

    “Longitudinal neuroimaging studies demonstrate that the adolescent brain continues to mature well into the 20s…”


  • Independent Thinker
    June 3, 2016 at 7:31 am

    You forgot to mention that if you’re under 21 and commit a capital offense in a death penalty state, that they can execute you.

    NH isn’t all that far away. Take a drive up there once a month. Buy your liquor and tobacco, and treat yourself to a nice lunch with all the money you saved.

    If smoking were really so bad, they would make it illegal. They will never do this because they rely on the tax revenue for children’s health care and other social engineering programs.

  • Realist
    June 2, 2016 at 11:03 pm

    As usual, another blog full of misinformation and political bs. Does TB believe that his readers are too ignorant to do any research? If one were to research current, and upcoming tobacco laws you would learn that over 110 cities/towns in Mass already have this regulation. The State is currently in the process of making this a Statewide regulation. For someone who says he doesn’t like Trump, you certainly use his playbook enough!

    • larryS
      June 3, 2016 at 5:34 am

      LOL! Did you ever miss the point of the article.

  • bird
    June 2, 2016 at 8:50 pm

    Enough is enough. Businesses should ignore this stupid regulation. It is not a law enacted by elected legislators.

    • RonaldReaganWasFramed
      June 2, 2016 at 9:20 pm

      Haha. So cute how many scholars on this page believe this is true.

    • Chris
      June 3, 2016 at 12:05 pm

      Correct. The City Council should vote on this, not a board of health. It is not an ordinance.

  • Wwy
    June 2, 2016 at 8:21 pm

    West side big noses hates freedom,more communist. It’s about time TB called out these penny pinchers.

    • Ashley's Thighmaster
      June 2, 2016 at 9:35 pm

      Is that supposed to be a Jewish thing? You are a fucking moron.

      • Tim Whatley
        June 4, 2016 at 8:53 am

        Yeah you haven’t noticed? A One note johnny like clive he just feels the same way about jews that clive does about… Everyone. Every comment is anti semitic. Mazeltov!

  • BlackandWhite
    June 2, 2016 at 5:56 pm

    Did some searches on this chick. Pretty sure she lives in Worcester. We need a crank load of heavy smokers to slowly walk up and down the road in front of her house (if you are moving, you ain’t loitering). Maybe they can even do some pan handling while they are at it. Perhaps the wicked witch and “that bitch” would like to gawk at some walkers & pan handlers, too.

    • True Reality Speaks
      Tired of Don't Smoke Pussies
      June 2, 2016 at 8:05 pm

      I like the way you think.

  • Mike
    June 2, 2016 at 4:54 pm

    Anyone who smokes more than a pack a day is most likely getting them in NH anyway. Less than half the price of MA.
    It is also foolish to think these little corner store are going to card their regular customers.

    • Turd Burglestein
      June 2, 2016 at 5:14 pm

      It’s foolish to think the cops won’t have regular sting operations trying to catch these businesses selling to underage people either

    • FiestyLawyerLady
      June 2, 2016 at 5:31 pm

      I roll my own. I have a machine I fill with tobacco and all I do is press a button…. WALLAH! In 30 minutes I have rolled my cigarettes for the week. Makes killing myself a breeze! One day I will quit… I have before and always go back. One day…

  • Comment
    June 2, 2016 at 4:17 pm

    Really tired of the assault on smoking. Most smokers don’t break into houses to feed their habit, nor do they kill others in car accidents, drug users and drunks do that. Unfortunately, those problems are so out of control it makes the board of health think they are actually doing something to help people with these ridiculous smoking laws.

  • B. Pike
    June 2, 2016 at 4:09 pm

    I’d bang it.

    • juror seven
      June 2, 2016 at 7:50 pm

      Agreed. Right after I’d want to roll over and light up a Chesterfield.

  • Lucky, Unfiltered
    June 2, 2016 at 3:28 pm

    Put it in terms that Nancy-boy Augustus can understand- If you’re old enough to get a sex change operation, then you’re old enough to smoke.

    • Rip
      June 4, 2016 at 8:47 am

      It’s natures way of telling you – somethings wrong.

  • Chris From Georgia
    June 2, 2016 at 3:27 pm

    Common Sense solution – Lower the drinking and smoking age to 18 or make the minimum age to join the Armed Forces 21.

    • KimberlyS
      June 2, 2016 at 3:35 pm

      make the minimum age to join the Armed Forces 21.

      The problem with this is that a lot of kids go into the armed forces at 18 in order to take advantage of the higher education opportunities they will receive when they get out. In this scenario, they would be sitting around working at McDonald’s (if they can find a job) until they are 21.

      • Chris From Georgia
        June 2, 2016 at 3:46 pm

        We agree then. Old enough to get shot at, old enough to have a beer and smoke a cigarette!

        • KimberlyS
          June 2, 2016 at 3:55 pm

          Yep 🙂

          • Sal Monella
            June 2, 2016 at 5:12 pm

            We should also raise the voting age to 30, unless you’ve served in the military, then it should be 21. The current batch of 18 years olds voting for President? They cannot even spell USA so why should they get to vote?

  • Jack
    Joe Max
    June 2, 2016 at 3:20 pm

    It won’t do a thing, just create more issues in the long run. The kids will always get cigarettes, one way or another. Am sure some of the 21 year old’s. Will be getting the butts for the kids, with a added premium. Will hurt some businesses too, dumb !

    • Rip
      June 4, 2016 at 8:45 am

      The hood stiores will sell em, even singles. No enforcement there at all. Protected species.

  • kingsraisins
    June 2, 2016 at 3:00 pm

    Worcester currently contains 10 colleges and universities. Rather than working to create opportunities for young people to live and work here, we tell them that they aren’t smart enough to make their own personal decisions. No wonder why everyone leaves here when they graduate. Good job, Nanny state government board that was not in any way, shape, or form elected. I don’t see any problem this solves whatsoever; it just puts Worcester in the news for all the wrong reasons.

    If I can’t smoke, whatever am I going to do with myself while scratching lotto tickets in front of the Main Street 711? Clowns.

    If you really want to end smoking, actually work on educating youth about it. This is just a short sighted attempt at a shortcut that will backfire by punishing businesses and decreasing revenue. But hey, nobody knows what’s good for my body better than a middle aged non-elected woman with an opinion, right?

  • Marlboro Man
    June 2, 2016 at 3:00 pm

    The Board of Health is a mind numbing waste of resources. They want to prevent adults from making their own decisions and yet they throw condoms at 12 year olds and encourage them to use them. Maybe if they invested more time in monitoring public eating establishments and less time over-monitoring the public then there would be less rat hair and feces in the food people consume. Someone should give that board a proper job description and hold them to it.

  • fordsnharleys
    June 2, 2016 at 2:51 pm

    Seeing as they’re concerned with health then make people be 21 to eat at McDonald’s. That will go over big. I love whe a smoker lectures me on healthy eating. Now let’s watch the chaos ensue and small towns bordering Worcester rack up sales. At least they’ll still have the same easy access to weed from people on the common.

    • hetero white male
      June 2, 2016 at 3:08 pm

      No fast food for anyone under 21. Been saying this for years. Example, The state will ticket you if you choose to not wear a seatbelt (even though this puts no one at risk except yourself) but if you wanna buy 3 Big Macs and cram them in your mouth while you do 75mph down the exit lane of 290 it’s no problem.

      Should health choices be mine or the governments? Hint: neither MODERN party even comes close to being consistent on this issue. It’s always driven by greed and power grabs

      • GoneWest
        June 2, 2016 at 8:14 pm

        Put no one at risk but yourself? Absolutely false. I remember seeing a video in driving school of a kid who didn’t wear it, flew around the car kicking and hitting everyone else.

  • Bill P.
    June 2, 2016 at 2:48 pm

    Same brilliance in Brockton. However, this has to have something to do with being a Gateway city. Given that those cities are befallen to the state if they want money, it stands to reason that the all-knowing, all-moral government that knows what’s best for everyone would use this to hold cities hostage. Guarantee you that Quincy, Taunton, New Bedford, Fall River… well, you get the idea, will all soon be on board.

  • KimberlyS
    June 2, 2016 at 2:36 pm

    Kind of reminds me of some federal agencies that have no basis in the constitution, but still manage to make 1,000’s of regulations every year that effect businesses across the country.

    Progressivism at its finest.

    “I’m from the government, and I’m here to help.”

    • Veena
      June 4, 2016 at 8:41 am

      Who the hell even smokes any more? Dried out skank losers.

Comment on this Post


Angry White Folk Are Calling This UMass Basketball “White Water” Video Reverse Racism
Jesse Jackson: Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson Is Worse Than Rosa Parks Bus Driver
Did Minnesota Vikings Fire Chris Kluwe Because He Supported Gay Marriage, or Because He Was a Liquored Up Idiot Punter?