Social Justice Warriors

3 Protesters Boycotting GoLocalWorcester For Hiring Turtleboy

Follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook

Check out our stuff on GoLocalWorcester


As we announced yesterday, Turtleboy is happy to announce our new partnership with GoLocalWorcester. I’m sure a lot of you guys follow them and read their stuff, and we’re glad to contribute when we can. Fear not though, it will have zero impact on itself. Our blogs on this site will remain fearless, delicious, orgasmic, and scorching hot.

Not EVERYONE is looking forward to this new partnership though. As you know Turtleboy Sports is the people’s revolution in Worcester. It gives a voice to those who are thinking the same things that we write but are constrained by political correctness and can’t say how they REALLY feel about certain issues on the Internet. The PC police will do ANYTHING to make sure that their ridiculous world view is the only one that is heard.

Unfortunately for these counterrevolutionaries they are losing the battle. And they know it. That’s why they’ve already started a cute little boycott of GoLocalWorcester. Basically it’s three guys, with a potential for a fourth down the line:

Yea, ya see Aslan, I don’t think you quite “get” what the purpose of a hashtag is. From Wikipedia, “A hashtag allows grouping of similarly tagged messages, and also allows an electronic search to return all messages that contain it.” See, when you write, #boycottgolocal, it’s supposed to be something that thousands of other people are using to talk about a similar topic, which creates a big discussion about that topic. Here’s what happens when you search for that hashtag on Twitter:

Screen Shot 2015-01-12 at 2.18.34 PM

Yup. It’s just you man. You’re all alone. You’re literally talking to yourself when you use that hashtag. Oh yea, and you’re basically one step up from a Twitter Egg because this is your influence when you post on Twitter:

Screen Shot 2015-01-12 at 2.26.12 PM

Man, I’m shaking in my boots that this guy’s army of 43 is gonna take down the revolution. I have to give the hippies credit though. They are trying really, really hard to dethrone the boy from his magical turtle:Screen Shot 2015-01-12 at 2.04.35 PM

1. Privileged

2. Classist

3. Misogynistic

4. Hateful

Those are some solid protester vocab words right there. However, he could’ve gotten more protester points had he mentioned some of these big point scorers, 1) white, 2) homophobic, 3) transphobic, 4) Islamophobic, 5) cisgender. Sure, those last three all have red lines underneath them as I type this because they’re fake words that protesters made up along the way, but that’s never stopped these hilarious people from calling Turtleboy Sports any of those things. Because when you stand up for police officers, don’t like the Big E, and document your favorite cut-through streets in Worcester, you’re a giant bigot.

Screen Shot 2015-01-12 at 2.05.12 PM

I agree. I probably don’t represent the Worcester you know. Because the average Worcester protester has ZERO INTEREST in meeting people from outside the protester circle and hearing what they have to say. If you disagree with them then you’re a bigot. Plain and simple. But I hate to burst your little hippie bubble my darling, but the reason people read Turtleboy Sports is because they’re on board to ride the turtle. We represent the silent majority that you have stifled for years and we’re sick of your protesting nonsense.

Screen Shot 2015-01-12 at 2.13.11 PM

Yea, anyone who didn’t like the fact that protesters yell at World War 2 veterans, and make kids cry at Christmas is a “mouth breathing gnat.” And people who share a blog that gets people to donate $2,000 and 400 toys to the Lucky Dog Music Hall after their Toys for Tots fundraiser was robbed isn’t making nearly as much of a difference as a bunch of hippies writing #boycottgolocalworcester on Twitter. Once again, we raised money for poor children at Christmas. You raised $350 for looters and rioters in Ferguson to get bailed out of jail.

Screen Shot 2015-01-12 at 2.15.51 PM

I love it when white guys call out other white guys for being white guys. It’s priceless.

Screen Shot 2015-01-12 at 2.17.10 PM

The only more useless than a Twitter hashtag campaign that no one else is following, is a Facebook hashtag campaign that no one else is following.

Screen Shot 2015-01-12 at 2.17.29 PM

That’s too bad, because I would totally eat your hippie dump if I was starving. I bet it tastes like soy and organic cabbage.

The bottom line is that these people know a threat when they see one. They realize what you all realize when you read our blog – you are not alone. You are not the only person who thinks it’s outrageous how these people have acted for the last few months. Because sometimes it seems that way because they make much, much more noise than you do, largely because you have to go to work and take care of your family. The hippies are on notice. They realize that the silent majority has come together to vent on Turtleboy Sports Facebook page. And they’re desperate to do anything to stop it from spreading to GoLocalWorcester. Unfortunately for them, they will lose.

Follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook

10 Comment(s)
  • September 4, 2017 at 10:48 pm

    If some one desires expert view on the topic of blogging and site-building
    afterward i suggest him/her to go to see this webpage,
    Keep up the good work.

  • Wabbitt
    January 13, 2015 at 11:28 pm

    Bad news everyone!

    There’s now THREE tweets in the #boycottgolocal hastag. And two of them are by the same guy! WE’RE IN TROUBLE! IT’S THE END OF DAYS!

  • Finnish Goalie
    January 13, 2015 at 8:35 am

    Oh, Aslan, shouldn’t you be hashtagging all of Narnia to your cause?×480.jpg

  • Margee Pesikov
    January 12, 2015 at 7:19 pm

    That John guy is sexy. So is @MrMatthewFlynn. Yum.

    • Finnish Goalie
      January 12, 2015 at 7:36 pm


  • Hippie non protestor
    January 12, 2015 at 6:05 pm

    Don’t make this into a war, man. Keep the hate aimed at Green Bay, where it belongs, and quit shitting on revolutionaries (however benign they may be)

  • Non Sequitor
    January 12, 2015 at 5:23 pm

    To all the haters of turtleboy, guess what? We’re the taxpayers. We’re paying your freight.

    You want to keep protesting? Go ahead. We’re going to buy the police steamrollers.

    You want to barge in on public eateries and start yelling names over bullhorns? Go ahead, the only noise coming out of those bullhorns will be your farts.

    So keep up your faux outrage. Keep crying the police are an occupying force. We’ll be chuckling when you get arrested and they beat 7 kinds of shit out of you. And guess wh

    Us taxpayers and registered voters are the ones who sit on juries.

    “Guilty” Mr hemp smoking, white college student. Keep up your righteous ways, dudes. No one is listening.

  • Loyal rider
    January 12, 2015 at 3:43 pm

    That was a delicious hot take. Keep em coming.

  • Finnish Goalie
    January 12, 2015 at 3:41 pm

    Perhaps I missed it, but where have you all shown yourselves to be overly entitled and privileged? Seems like words meant to corner you all and confuse the rest.

Comment on this Post


Angry White Folk Are Calling This UMass Basketball “White Water” Video Reverse Racism
Jesse Jackson: Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson Is Worse Than Rosa Parks Bus Driver
Did Minnesota Vikings Fire Chris Kluwe Because He Supported Gay Marriage, or Because He Was a Liquored Up Idiot Punter?