Hoodrat Heroes

All-Star Haverhill Dad Famewhores Over His Kid Taking A Dunks Highchair To The Dome, Asks Turtleboy To Put The Fuzz On Blast

It’s one thing to want justice for your kid when they’ve been wronged. It’s entirely another to try to capitalize off their misfortunes in a quest to attain that ever-elusive Facebook fame. Well, you’ve got it now. You’re welcome, beyotch.








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I’m sure you’ve all seen the video going around the last couple of weeks that shows an 11-year-old girl being whacked around with a highchair at Dunkin Donuts by a rival tween. It’s been picked up internationally, even, if you can believe it. If you haven’t had the pleasure, you can see it here:





We were outraged when we saw the video initially, like, who raised that little animal? (We’ll get there in Part 2) The poor kid just sat there and… took it. No adults intervened. It’s pretty sad.


But then all-star Daddy-O Jason Brillon

connoisseur of ratchetacular hotel mirror selfies and father of the abuuuuuuused, started messaging us and things went downhill from there.


Notice the verbiage – “the abused” – it is relevant for later, promise. And this guy talks like he’s had a restraining order or 10 taken out against him.


SSTG had stepped in for Deskie, who, despite our repeated requests not to, decided to have Taco Bell the night before and was spewing toxic fumes from her nether regions; SSTG was already in a particularly rough mood and had no time to be bullshitted. But that’s all Jason was doing.


First, if charges have been filed, you’re on your way to getting justice, bub. Because the police didn’t fly at the snap of your crusty crotch fingers and snatch a 12-year-old out of her section 8 shanty in cuffs, you want to… what? Put a tweeny bopper on blast? The fuzz waited ’til they had compelling, damning evidence in hand before they went forward with filing charges. You know, due process. ‘Murica!

And there we have it… “neglegance” on behalf of the Haverhill Police. That’s what this is about. It’s not about his daughter, “the abused,” it’s about getting his name attached to some meal ticket of a “viral” sensation at his kid’s expense and throwing shade at law enforcement in the process. Wonder why that is…?


Might be because his big brother Ronnie

trafficks OCs. And apparently has no time to clean his hovel either, despite having two vacuums front and center. I admit, Spongebob enthralls me, too, but… bruh. Fix the crooked picture on the wall held up by some stale Big Red AT LEAST. My OCD alarms are going off and now I need to turn in a circle 3 times and unlock and lock my front door 5… what?



8th Avenue and Cedar Street also happens to be right around where Daddy Dunks lives. So… big bro slinging drugs out of his house with the kids around? Maybe.


A mere two years later in 2013,  Roly-poly Ron’s pillheads had moved on to china white, and we all know competition is stiff in that market, so he made the savvy decision to move on to the next poison-du-jour – a little blow


And while little bro Jason seems to have been able to keep his nose clean (or know how to squeal real good) the whole family stinks worse than a cheesy ballsack on a 90-degree day.

Ronnie Jr., nephew of Daddy Dunks and progeny of Roly-poly

the younger one with the wonderfully manscaped brows, clam tickler, and derptastic gaping maw


the apple just kinda rolled off the branch with this one.

Arrested in Haverhill… Tio’s house, maybe? Junior managed to steal $50k worth of wallets, personal effects, and jewelry at Hampton – that’s a hell of a case of sticky mitts – wonder where he learned it from?

Anyway, back to Daddy Dunks.


This is not the first time he’s attempted to capitalize off of someone else’s pain and suffering. Back in 2010, he ran to the Eagle Tribune to give his “story” about picking up his friend, who’d been shot, at 3:45 AM from some hoodbunny’s house – but Daddy Dunks didn’t notice anything was wrong until he tried to toss him out of the car at Roly-poly’s house:

Brillon got a call from a woman who lived in the apartment house behind Rodriguez’s at 3:45 a.m. Sunday. The woman said Rodriguez was drunk and had fallen down her stairs, Brillon said.

When he got to Haverhill, Brillon found Rodriguez at the bottom of a stairway so dark he had to use his cell phone to light the way.

“He was breathing funny,” he said. “I cleaned his face. I didn’t know he was shot. They told me he was drunk.”

Nobody at the apartment ever told him Rodriguez had been shot, Brillon said. He never saw blood, even when he loaded Rodriguez into his truck. At first Brillon drove to his own brother’s house in Haverhill, but nobody answered the door. His friend began to look and sound worse, so Brillon headed for the hospital.

When they got closer to Lawrence General Hospital, Rodriguez told Brillon what happened.

“He said, ‘They shot me. I’m dying,'” Brillon said.

 Brillon, unsure about what his friend had said, brought him inside the hospital, but Brillon had to head home because he hadn’t been able to find a baby sitter. He called the hospital from his truck, and that’s when he was told his friend had been shot. Brillon said he went back to talk to police.

He said he thought Rodriguez might have been “set up” and robbed. Rodriguez, who did some landscaping work, had been paid earlier in the day and had a large amount of cash with him, he said. When Brillon found him, all he had were his keys and cigarettes.”

Uh huh… I hate when I pick up my drunk friends from a crumpled heap at the bottom of a pitch black stairwell and then they go and start breathing funny and claiming they’re shot and need to go to the hospital. Like, no, we’re on the express bus to Big Bro Ron’s house, motherfucker, no pit stops! Except… Roly-poly never answered, because when you’re trafficking weight, 4 AM knocks are bad news

And he couldn’t find a babysitter? So, by his own admission, he left his kid, who was only 4-5 at the time, at a crackden in Haverhill in the middle of the night all by her lonesome – where her uncle was busted just a year later for slinging pills. Seems like a real loving, caring dad.

So, while the cause is legit, Jason Brillon is milking this for all its worth at his daughter’s expense, as he has done with every other heinous misfortune he’s been tied to. Just look at the PSA he had his own 11-year-old put out on the Facebook machine:

“This isn’t fake, I got abused” abused, abuse… this kid was groomed by her father on exactly what to say to elicit the most “boohoo” effect  and that’s the travesty here. This is not typical language for an 11-year-old, and if you couple it with the rest of her writing style, it just doesn’t fit.

Jason Brillon has effectively made his child a victim and has shoved her down the throats of anyone with an internet connection worldwide. She will forever be remembered as the American tween who got bopped with a highchair at Dunkin Donuts, which will only serve to foster a snowflake mentality within her. She is 11 – she shouldn’t even be ON Facebook to begin with, and she sure as hell shouldn’t have her name out there, much less a written statement with her name and face attached that will NEVER disappear, for the rest of time, but well… look at what she has for role models in her life, and it’s unsurprising.

What’s not unsurprising is the lack of posts about the daughter from Daddy Dunks before the incident. His entire Facebook was dedicated to whining about being single, bitches, hos, you know – your typical ratchet fare

I really feel sorry for the little girl and I hope to God that I am wrong and she goes on to become a productive member of society – but given the family business, I think she was doomed from the jump. Let’s see how long before the GoFundMe is up.












5 Comment(s)
  • itsjustme
    July 14, 2017 at 8:01 am

    You should really just name this post ‘shitty kid bullies girl that comes from shitty family’, did you at least research and find out anything about the other girls family because people who bully others for their own pleasure don’t normally come from staple homes.

    • itsjustme
      July 14, 2017 at 8:14 am

      Grr stable homes. Phone has mind of its own.

      • Worcestersrite
        July 15, 2017 at 2:03 am

        Forget the “victim’s” family–what about that devilish girl
        throwing a highchair?! Find that little ratchet brat’s family!

  • mike barnicle
    July 14, 2017 at 2:16 am

    somebody needs to do a story complaining about the non story TB wrote about a parent with a non story but if this happened outside plumley it might be a better story

  • Sterling Turtle Rider
    July 14, 2017 at 1:05 am

    Sometimes people rise above all the crappy circumstances that they’re forced to endure during their childhood and go on to do great things and break the cycle of crappy parenting – here’s hoping this kid finds that inner strength

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