WTF

Am I Insane For Thinking The Boston Red Sox Will Make The Playoffs?

 

 

 

 

Am I Insane For Thinking The Boston Red Sox Will Make The Playoffs? There is a very real possibility that I am drunk on homerism right now.

Look, these guys suck. No one could’ve seen the Red Sox being THIS bad this year. Sure they did jack shit in the offseason and their solution to Jacoby Ellsbury leaving was a combination of a guy who hadn’t played in MLB in three years (Grady Sizemore) and a rookie who has failed every time he was brought up to Boston last year (Jackie Bradley Jr.)

Almost everyone on this team has been so terrible this year that it’s hard to imagine that this is the reigning World Series Champions. But that is exactly why I know this team will be playing in October. They can’t possibly be any worse.

The schedule is pretty solid too. We get 13 more cracks at the Blue Jays, 10 more with the Rays, and nine more showdowns with the Yankees. Considering we are only five and half behind the Blue Jays for second place in the AL East, that’s a whole bunch of opportunities to get right back in this thing. Seattle is leading the second wild card right now, but it’s fucking Seattle. I refuse to believe that the Red Sox are somehow a worse team than Seattle. Even Kansas City is ahead of us right now in the WC standings. We get seven more head to head match ups with them. Basically the teams in front of us are suckbag teams, so if the Red Sox just pretend to be anything like they were last year then we should be able to plow through this schedule.

We’ve got 67 games left. Realistically 85 wins will get you the second WC, and 88 wins will win you the AL East. Right now we’re at 43 wins. So to get to 85 wins they need to go 42-25, and to get to 88 wins they’d need to go 45-22. But hey, why the hell not? Look at all these jamokes who give us reason to believe:

  • Clay Buchholz is all of a sudden nasty again. He’s coming off a 12 strikeout complete game. He’s probably the number one reason we were good last year and sucked this year. If he can stop getting facilalized every fifth day the Red Sox will start winning games.
  • Bradley, Christian Vazquez, Mookie Betts, and Brock Holt. I believe in all of these guys. Holt is obviously the greatest player on the planet right now. Bradley is hitting .300 the last month. Vazquez is Johnny Bench already, and Mookie is a quick little bastard who can get on base. Guarantee these guys keep tearing shit up in the summer.
  • Daniel Nava is hitting the ball again. If they actually keep their faith in this guy he’ll rebound to what he did last year. They literally give this guy no chance to hit through slumps. Dude can play, and right now he’s raking.
  • Xander Bogaerts can’t possibly be any worse right now. We’ve seen what he can do though.

Here’s the moves Ben Cherrington needs to make before the trade deadline:

  • Trade Jake Peavy. What’s the point of him being here? He defines what it means to be slightly below average. He’s old. He’s not part of the future. So why the hell is he here? Get something for him from a contending NL team.
  • Don’t touch Jon Lester or John Lackey. The Red Sox will contend no matter what in 2015. These guys are established starters and don’t grow on trees.
  • Trade Jonny Gomes. If they do this it will be the happiest day of my life. It’s a proven, scientific fact that this guy sucks. Some chump team like the Royals will gladly give up something for him. Do it.
  • If you have ANY shot at Giancarlo Stanton do it immediately and don’t think twice. I’d give up Bogaerts and a whole bunch of other shit for him. It doesn’t get any worse than our outfield. Trade Gomes, get Stanton.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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