Everyone’s been buzzing about the Ronda Rousey’s 34 second knockout of Brazilian Bethe Correia in Rio de Janeiro the other night, so we had to chime in. First let’s look at the fight:
Now here’s this Turtleboy’s thoughts.
Women’s MMA boxing is about on the same level as women’s college basketball – there’s no competition so it kind of sucks. How excited can anyone possibly get for a 34 second fight? I’d rather watch Mayweather and Pacquiao dance around for 12 rounds because at least I can get drunk during that time. Same thing goes with women’s basketball – UConn didn’t lose by less than 50 this year. It doesn’t mean they’re the greatest thing since sliced bread, it just means the level of competition sucks.
Secondly, Ronda Rousey talks a lot of shit about Floyd Mayweather, and rightfully so. Mayweather is the definition of human garbage for the many, many instances of gross domestic abuse in which he has been the perpetrator. She’s called him out publicly several times, challenging him to fights. And I’m seeing a lot of people on social media actually debating who would win in a fight.
Stop. Just stop.
Ronda Rousey is a bad ass woman and all, and she could certainly kick MY ass. But give me a break already. Not only is Floyd Mayweather the greatest pound for pound boxer in the world right now, he also has a penis. Even Pacquiao and Canelo Alvarez couldn’t touch him, so how the hell is Ronda? Don’t get me wrong, she’s insane. But at the end of the day he has a penis so it’s not a fair fight. It’s science.
Another thing lots of people are trying to say is that her and Serena Williams are the two greatest athletes in the world. Once again – stop. Just stop. How many men in the world participate in fighting sports like this? How many women? I have no way of ascertaining that number, but I’m willing to bet Turtleboy Jr’s Rob Roy Academy savings fund that the number of men exponentially outweighs women. Because there just aren’t that many women on this planet who wanna get in the octagon and kick the shit out of each other. Therefore being the best in the world at women’s MMA fighting is about the same thing as being world men’s fencing champion.
Bethe Correia is the male equivalent of Floyd Mayweather. For a woman who got knocked out in 34 seconds and was a Peter McNeely-esque underdog in Vegas, she sure did talk a lot of shit. I can understand if you’re a 3 to 1 dog, and you wanna psyche yourself up for the fight, then it’s OK to talk some smack.
But she was literally there for the payday. No one in the world thought she had any chance of winning. And not only did she talk shit, she also said that she hoped Ronda wouldn’t kill herself after she lost. Kind of a sensitive issue since Ronda’s father killed himself. In other words, she is the female version of Floyd Mayweather. And if Floyd ever lost a fight, I would imagine he would say something dooshy like this afterwards:
“I don’t regret anything. Everything I said was very sincere. It was my point of view and what I believed in. I think I did a great job. The event was wonderful. It wasn’t the result that I wanted, but I think everything that I said was something that I thought.
AKA, it was a nice pay day, and I helped sell a lot of pay per view sales by making light of my opponents deceased father.
The last thing I’m gonna say is this – I still think MMA sucks and boxing is a million times better. I’m just old school like that. MMA is cool and all, but it’s basically anarchy in an octagon. Too much homoerotic wrestling for this Turtleboy. Fighters should stand and face each other while beating the shit out of one another. This isn’t Goddamn Street Fighter. Boxing takes more skill, more tactics, and more endurance. It’s a gentlemen’s sport. MMA is organized savagery.
However, I realize the trend going on right now is that boxing is quickly becoming a sport for 45 year old Puerto Rican guys at the barbershop. But that’s all Floyd’s fault. He has spent the last decade destroying this beautiful sport. There has never, ever been a champion in the history of ANY sport that has done more damage to the brand than he has. He’s the undisputed champion and greatest pound for pound fighter in the world. But he dances to card victories and that’s just plain boring.
Luckily Floyd’s almost 40 so he’ll be retiring soon. I hold out hope that someone beats him before he retires, but regardless his legacy will go down as the guy who went undefeated because he ducked everyone and ruined the sport. The only fighter out there right now who can beat him is Miguel Cotto. If he gets a rematch, Cotto will win.
But more than likely we’ll have to wait for Floyd to retire. Once he does Canelo Alvarez or Triple G will take over as the face of the sport and boxing will become great once again. In the meantime we’ll have to watch Ronda Rousey kick the shit out of nudnik Brazilians in 34 seconds.