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Anyone Who Thinks Worcester Tennis Club Isn’t Trying To Take Over Newton Square Is Brain Dead

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TelegramIt all has to do with the Worcester Tennis Club’s decision last week to work out a partnership with the city so the club can move to the Newton Hill section of Elm Park. 

The city was approached by representatives of the tennis club about a year ago looking for a new home. Because of declining membership, the club decided to sell its Sever Street clubhouse and tennis courts to Becker College. 

“They want to try to maintain their club, but in partnership with another organization,” said City Manager Edward M. Augustus Jr. “They are no longer able to stand alone. 

“The city of Worcester is interested in partnering with them because it is a partnership that can have many public benefits,” he added. “One area where such a partnership seems to have some possibilities is at the tennis courts at Newton Hill.”

Under this public private partnership, the city will use between $325,000-$500,000 from the tennis club to add two more tennis courts that will be either clay or concrete, for a total of six courts, two or all of which would be available to the public. 

The city would kick in $1 million for upgrades, including resurfacing of the existing courts, lights, spectator seating, and either a clubhouse or shed.

Perhaps most importantly, though, Mr. Augustus said what is negotiated will not in any way give the Worcester Tennis Club exclusive access to city parkland. 

He said the tennis club would simply be given the ability to ask for permits for use of the courts – the same as the public. He said the tennis courts would still be open and available to the public. 

Councilor-at-Large Frederick C. Rushton said he believes it is the type of venture the city should definitely pursue and hopes people keep an open mind about it. 


You know how you can tell this is a terrible idea? Dicky Rushton thinks it’s a good idea. As we’ve seen time and time again, Dicky does dumb better than anyone. When in doubt, don’t do what Dicky does.

I promise you this – within the next two years Ed Augustus will reveal his plan to build a monorail in Worcester. Because apparently he has become Mayor Quimby and falls for EVERY fancy plan that some fly-by chiseler drops on his desk.

First he fell for the Worcester State parking lot in the Chandler Magnet Ballfields. We blogged about it, everyone read it (even the hippies liked it), and the next thing you know Ed Augustus cancelled the plan the next day. Just like that. Because SOMEONE has to save Ed Augustus from selling off the entire city of Worcester for a pack of magic beans. Seriously, I would love to follow him around at the Big E. There’s no way possible he leaves that place without buying four mops.

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Now he’s falling for this Trojan Horse from the Worcester Tennis Club.

First of all, why is it the city of Worcester’s problem that the WTC is running out of members? How is that even remotely considered an issue that Ed Augustus has to worry about? Oh your club is running out of members and dying out? Not my problem. Welcome to Darwinism. Ed Augustus couldn’t save the Dodo bird, so why is he trying to save the WTC? Your club doesn’t have the survival skills to make it in the long run. Now you get eaten. That’s how nature works.

I mean, they had to see this day coming right? They built their club in Elm Park, which I’m sure was a lovely neighborhood in 19 ought 4. Now, it’s just a place WPI kids go to buy drugs. Pretty hard to recruit future members when you’re in that lovely part of the city.

Here’s another question – why the hell would ANYONE ever join the Worcester Tennis Club? It’s not like you’re joining a private country club like the Tatnuck golf course. You’re paying to play tennis. That’s it. Newsflash – tennis is free. It’s not like you get a massage and a wine spritzer afterwards.

Everyone knows that the harder a sport is to play the more it should cost. Golf is hard because the ball is so small. That’s why it costs a lot of money. Basketball is popular in urban areas because the ball is big. The same principle applies to tennis. The racket is big, therefore it should be free.

And only a moron thinks the WTC isn’t kicking in half a mil and expecting the world in return. You know how I can tell this is a scam? This part:

He said the tennis club would simply be given the ability to ask for permits for use of the courts – the same as the public. He said the tennis courts would still be open and available to the public. 

Gee whiz, I wonder who has the capital to “ask for permits for use of the courts?” Maybe the group that threw half a mil at the City Manager. It’s hard enough to get a court down there as it is. Mrs. Turtleboy and I try to play twice a week during the summer, and most of the time we go there there’s five million adorable children participating in a camp there. So we go to WPI…….like savages.

Now it’s basically gonna be impossible to get a court because the WTC is gonna call dibs on all the courts. Because obviously they’re not giving the city all this cash and not getting preferential treatment out of it. Even a dumbass like Old Balls could see that one coming.

You know how I can tell the WTC is out of touch? Because they want clay courts. Do you understand what ghetto folks and drunk teenagers are gonna do to clay courts? When the lights go out it’s gonna turn into a giant litter box. Because when you put that much sand in the middle of a highly trafficked area like Newton Square, you might as well put up a giant sign that says, “Poop in me.”

Oh yea, and this part makes TONS of sense:

The city would kick in $1 million for upgrades, including resurfacing of the existing courts, lights, spectator seating, and either a clubhouse or shed

So let me get this straight. The city is willing to spend a cool mil on the upgrades for the courts, which is great because they suck and definitely need an upgrade:


So remind me again what we need the WTC club for then? Because it seems like we’re planning to spend the money anyway, but with this new plan we’re hitching them along and giving them special privileges in the process.

Also, I’d LOVE to hear them explain how they’re going to add two new courts, a clubhouse, and viewing stands (because apparently Newton Square is Goddamn Wimbledon now), WITHOUT chopping down more trees. I’m sure the WTC has convinced Ed Augustus that their magic beans will make more land magically appear, but we all know that it won’t.

The land directly next to the courts, where they will likely build if this plan goes through, is part of the Doherty High School cross country course. Ironically Dicky Rushton’s brother is the DHS cross country coach. That should make for an awkward Thanksgiving. Sidenote – if they made a reality TV show about Rushton family holidays I’d DVR the hell out of it.

The bottom line is that the West Side is the best side for a reason. We like our community the way it is and we do our best to keep Big Oil and Koch brothers from taking it over and building Walmarts. I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to have a large designated area of the city that doesn’t look like a third world country. It’s what separates Worcester from Springfield. We don’t need some fancy pants scheme to turn Newton Square into Newport. Just patch up what we have so Turtleboy Jr. can continue to work on his backhand.

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8 Comment(s)
  • PshhhhClubs
    April 28, 2015 at 9:47 am

    Want to be a real savage? Head over to the Morgan Park courts some afternoon in July.

    But seriously, who the hell pays to play tennis on free courts? I don’t play tennis but I stupidly paid to be part of a running club in the city for longer than I’d like to admit and it’s the same deal. It’s effing running. The streets and trails are free. Running partners are free. Then I still had to pay for races and club events on top of annual dues. Did I want some club clothes? Yeah not included in dues either. What was the point of being in a club?

    Running clubs do the same thing – charge dues, hoard money (I used to go to the meetings, I know how much money they have versus how much they spend on races/member perks), then bitch when the cops won’t shut down a bunch of roads and babysit a race for free or when a college won’t loan them free space for events.

    When my former running club lost Polar sponsorship a few years ago over a petty fight, I just grabbed some popcorn and watched the panic shit-show. Can somebody do a story on them too? I’m tired of any Worcester club expecting handouts. and taking over space These “clubs” are retarded and from what I saw, and a good amount of the money goes the higher ups boozing at their local bar after meetings – not paying for what they get from the city or providing amenities to club members.

  • O the humanities
    April 28, 2015 at 2:55 am

    Magic beans must have sprouted that $million that we can throw at tennis courts. The Darwin yheory certainly does apply here- Tennis, anyone? anyone? Bueller?

  • juror seven
    April 22, 2015 at 12:49 pm

    Shouldn’t the WTC be reaching out to Worcester Country Club for a solution? They’re a perfect match for one another.

  • A Good Idea .. 2 Years Ago
    April 22, 2015 at 10:56 am

    The time for a partnership with the city would have been two years ago when WTC had a club with seven clay courts, a clubhouse and a membership that was paying dues. Under that scenario, the club would have been able to continue to operate its current facility with some form of an annual cash infusion from the city to support operations in exchange for allowing public access to the courts on a per usage fee basis like they are discussing now under this new proposal. Any court fees collected per year could have been reimbursed to the city or tucked away to offset the following year’s expenses with the idea the reliance on the city would lessen each year as the success of this partnership grew. Through this approach a valuable asset in the city would have been preserved, opened up to the public and there would be no need for the current discussion of taking public lands for development of a new project that benefits only a few. Furthermore, the $1 Million that has now some how appeared inside of the parks and rec budget to support this project could go into resurfacing more courts throughout the city (tennis and basketball) benefitting more people rather than a small group in one neighborhood. This opportunity passed when WTC sold their facility to Becker College.

    The idea of the city spending $1 Million on this project at a time when they have a known more than $1 Billion unfunded retirement pension and healthcare benefits liability still bothers me. Like WTC, the city cannot afford its own current operations without outside funding. I have a hard time accepting this project as a good idea at this time.

  • Adam
    April 22, 2015 at 7:38 am

    I enjoyed the hotness of this take. As a former WPI alum though, I disagree that Elm Park is the preferred location for purchasing illicit substances. Everyone knows you go to Worcester State.

  • Stephen Quist
    April 22, 2015 at 5:47 am

    An interesting take

  • Factman
    April 22, 2015 at 3:02 am

    I don’t mind the city building a few more courts. As you said, its already tough getting a spot when it’s busy. But you are right. If the city is willing to spend $1 million, why do they need this Tennis club?

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