Social Justice Warriors

Are These Hippies Chained To The Amherst TD Bank To Protest The Dakota Pipeline The Dumbest Protesters Of All Time?

If Turtleboy wasn’t already a TD Bank customer, this might make us become one.

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Hampshire GazetteFive protesters opposed to building the Dakota Access Pipeline chained themselves inside the two entrances to the TD Bank on Triangle Street Friday, blocking access for customers for several hours before four of them were arrested early in the afternoon.

“I’m here to stand with the water protectors at Standing Rock, North Dakota, who are standing up for their land and their water that’s being put at risk by the Dakota Access Pipeline,” said Aly Johnson-Kurts, a Smith College senior who chained herself with University of Massachusetts student Giovana Castro and Amherst resident Marc Osten shortly before 8 a.m.

“Today we’re putting pressure on TD Bank because they are funding the companies that are building the pipeline,” Johnson-Kurts said. “They are loaning money to them that is allowing the pipeline to be built.”

A firefighter first talked to the protesters at the main entrance and asked them to unlock the doors and remove their chains. When they refused, a firefighter took out a 3-foot by 3-foot window to enter the lobby and then safely cut away the chains, the PVC pipe and the fabric fastener connecting Johnson-Kurts, Osten and Castro.



The whole thing was documented by the 413’s most infamous blogger, Larry Kelley. This video makes me want to bang my head against the wall:

“We are allies.”

Nah, you’re just dumb white people with too much time on your hands who are destroying private property, and tying up firefighters and police who could be protecting and serving the community.

“We’re peaceful, non-violent.”

Nah, you’re actually putting people in danger by blocking access to exits.

“Sorry to inconvenience you guys, seriously.”

If you were sorry then you’d get up and leave.

“We don’t want to inconvenience the employees. We made sure there’s a side door for them to leave.”

Because you own the bank, and that was your decision to make.


It’s funny because they think they’re making a difference. In Amherst. As if a bunch of CEO’s are meeting right now and deciding whether or not to change the way they do business because of a bunch of granola eating college students and perpetually unemployed hippies chained themselves to one of their smallest branches in the country.

Look, I don’t pretend to know the first thing about the Dakota Access Pipeline. I know a lot of people are talking about it, but I just can’t bring myself to give a shit. It’s a pipeline in North Dakota. I give about as much of a shit about a pipeline in North Dakota as North Dakotans care about ratchets in Brockton pulling a chew and screw. I have no opinion on the matter because I’ve never spent a single moment researching it and never will. I’m just that disinterested in whatever the hell they’re protesting.

All I know is, these idiots need to get the hell out of the way. That police officer in the video should be commended for trying to be nice to these criminals who were intentionally creating a dangerous situation, wasting taxpayer funded first responder resources, and denying civilians the right to do business with whatever bank they choose to do business with.

If you wanna hold signs outside of TD Bank then more power to ya. But these are the same kind of morons who block highways, using the same kind of tactics. They know if they hold a regular, peaceful protest then we’ll all just ignore them and go on with our day. This makes them upset because in their minds what they’re doing is wicked important and they just can’t fathom why we don’t care. So this is how they make us care – by being assholes. And the officer was absolutely right – this is a great way to make sure people aren’t supporting you. I’m already a TD Bank customer, but this protest would make me switch to them if I wasn’t.

Loved this quote from the 22 year old Smith College student who already has a hyphenated last name:

“I’ve been out flyering. We’ve been shutting down TD Banks all across the country and nothing has changed.”

It’s almost as if your method of protesting is proven to be ineffective. Perhaps you should reconsider your strategy? Nah, fuck that. Just keep doing what you’re doing. Things have been going great since November 8!!

P.S. How bout this guy acting like he’s freaking Ghandi:


Bro, you had a fun little time playing social justice warrior. You chained yourself to a door in a small town and got bailed out for $50. #Brave


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27 Comment(s)
  • TrueStory
    December 20, 2016 at 7:58 am

    “We’ve been shutting down TD Banks all across the country ”

    Funny, they’re not all over the country, just parts of the east coast.

  • whatevuh
    December 20, 2016 at 5:45 am

    A more effective strategy would be, cut the chains, drag them to the parking lot, re-chain them around a lightpost with new locks , and everyone goes about their business. Come back tomorrow to see how they are holding up. Let’s start getting creative with these little assholes.

  • Justice
    December 19, 2016 at 9:19 pm

    Get a full time job…stop wasting time….take a shower….move out of your parents’ basement….and get a life. Protest all you want, but don’t inconvenience and danger the public.

  • Elizabeth Pedistone
    December 19, 2016 at 5:51 pm

    I have taken the time to read some of the articles and comments on this blog and although it is entertaining in a depressing morbid sense I believe maybe some of you could do more than just complain.

    Your commenters like Turd Bugglstein and BobnMic could chain themselves to a Bank of America entrance for a few hours instead of just sitting on their butts posting rude comments on this blog 24 hrs. a day 7 days a week.

    Stand up, get out and make a difference. You could go from zero to hero with a little effort!

    • bigdaddy
      December 19, 2016 at 6:49 pm

      they do have small nipples that was what you were saying right/

      • Elizabeth Pedistone
        December 19, 2016 at 10:15 pm

        No Bigdaddy I’m not talking about the size of their nipples. My point is from what I’ve read Turd and Bob are very successful and wealthy DJ’s and drug dealers who obviously made so much money in the 80’s and 90’s that all they do now is post here when they could be out in the outside world using their wealth and influence to better the community.

        Wealthy DJ’s like Turd and Bob who probably created the whole ‘House Music’ phenom most probably still pursue their craft so why not have a charity rock festival to help the homeless?

    • Jack Handey
      December 19, 2016 at 11:14 pm

      Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
      -Jack Handey

  • Elizabeth Pedistone
    December 19, 2016 at 5:15 pm

    They are heroes for standing up for something they believe in. It takes great will and character to do what they did. Big banks believe they are so high and mighty but it only took a few gutsy people to make a stand against the capitalistic greed machine and disrupt the bank from collecting more blood money.

    Their stand off may have just been a small ripple on the surface of a large pond but that ripple will spread and grow to a Tsunami sized portion of truth and justice for humanity and mother Earth.

    • Jack Handey
      December 19, 2016 at 11:13 pm

      Heroes run into a dangerous situation to save the lives of others.

      These people are legends in their own minds…well, and also in yours, apparently.

      How about they go stand in front of a mosque and protest people running vehicles into German Christmas markets instead? Still not heroic, but definitely more gutsy.

      After all, as I like to say, “If you’re in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it’ll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.”

  • TomBrady'sSoftBalls
    December 19, 2016 at 5:04 pm

    Easy comment for ya right here…LOSERS!

  • Paul Larson
    December 19, 2016 at 4:54 pm

    The frailest woman will become a heroine when the life of her own child is at stake. And only the will to save the race and native land or the State, which offers protection to the race, has in all ages been the urge which has forced men to face the weapons of their enemies. He who would live must fight. He who doesn’t wish to fight in this world, where permanent struggle is the law of life, has not the right to exist.

    Paul Larson

    • Jack Handey
      December 19, 2016 at 11:10 pm

      Deep thoughts man.

      Here is one of my own: ” It’s funny that pirates were always going around searching for treasure, and they never realized that the real treasure was the fond memories they were creating.”

  • Reddog
    December 19, 2016 at 4:47 pm

    I would love to toss a five gallon pail of cold water on them. F them. Why was the cop being so nice? Cut the chains and arrest them. He was talking to them like they are children. I’m pro cop but my god. When I get pulled over for speeding the cop never sympathizes with me,well,maybe one time,but just arrest the hippies.

  • Big fat tony
    December 19, 2016 at 4:07 pm

    This was the lamest protest ever

  • Give the chicks, the Woodstock line.
    December 19, 2016 at 3:51 pm

    Seems like there’s almost always, one old man with the chicks. Was that way a lot of years ago too, with the hippies and protesters. Maybe he’ll finally get some ?

  • Mediocrity
    December 19, 2016 at 1:16 pm

    That was a bitter, cold day. I hope they wore depends and froze their a$$ off. — literally.

  • Clark Livingstone
    December 19, 2016 at 12:20 pm

    This is the most pathetic protest there is. Agree or disagree, the people protesting in North Dakota are putting themselves on the line amid water cannons and frigid weather. These people are sitting outside of a bank in Massachusetts. Pathetic

    • Wabbitt
      December 19, 2016 at 1:00 pm

      Nobody ever claimed hippies were well thought out.

  • Talisman
    December 19, 2016 at 12:20 pm

    Too bad a nice juicy burrito fart didn’t find it’s way into their little circle jerk. I’ll pitch in for new pack of skivvies to the person that dumps their drawers in the faces of these fucking hookworms.

    • Turd Burglestein
      December 19, 2016 at 12:48 pm

      Had I been in the area, I would have stepped into their circle and dropped a giant deuce right in the middle of them and then watch them try to get away from my steaming load while they’re all chained together with those stupid pvc pipe things they have. Wouldn’t it be nice if I could take a dump inside one of those pipes before they locked together so they could hold my hot squishy turd between them in a real act of SOLIDarity?

      • Talisman
        December 19, 2016 at 3:41 pm

        Turd, I truly hope you doo happen upon some SJWs in this shituation one day, fire up your ass lathe and produke an ornate table leg masterpiece they’ll never forget. Please, pics and or video.

  • bigdaddy
    December 19, 2016 at 12:12 pm

    Glad they were able to get the day off from work to protest

  • Kenny Powers
    Kenny Powers
    December 19, 2016 at 12:08 pm

    Oh man, if I saw that I would just get back in my car and go to the drive thru …….Protest averted.
    They really didn’t think this out very well. No one ever accused libs to be very bright.

  • paul
    December 19, 2016 at 11:55 am

    It would have been great to see a customer step over them and kick one or all in the face

  • Neighborhood Cleanup Company
    December 19, 2016 at 11:39 am

    I’d like to kick you right in your cunt with my steel-toe workboot, Marc Osten, you fucking waste of oxygen.

  • Cis white male
    December 19, 2016 at 11:30 am

    The entire pipeline is on private property not owned by the Indians. That’s all you need to know. Even the protestors website map shows this. They don’t even deny it. That’s why this entire thing is an utter embarrassment of a protest. I don’t even need to get into the other shit about how there’s already another pipeline there, or how pipelines are safer than trucks/train for transport, or how the Natives blew off planning boards for 3 years, or how the protestors are causing violence and destruction and then falsely blaming police, or how the protest site was completely trashed and littered when the so called ‘environmentalists’ all left… Nope, don’t even need to go there. Because the pipeline is on private property and all the owners approved it. Who is violating who’s rights now? FUCK the DAPL protestors.

    • Tom
      February 23, 2017 at 12:02 pm

      Awesome post. Truth always hurt these leftist douche canoes.

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