Sports

Arizona, Latest School To Copy UMass Riots After Really Good Call By Refs Gives Wisconsin Game

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The Dayton-Florida game turned out to be a dud. Those bastards out in Vegas really know what they’re doing. Florida was a ten point spread, and they won by ten. They’ve officially had the easiest trip to the Final Four in tournament history. That’s what will happen when the committee purposely puts all the good teams in the UMass-Wichita State-Louisville-Duke-Michigan-Kentucky-St. Louis-Tennessee bracket of death.

But the Wisconsin-Arizona game was another ESPN classic in the making. Fantastic game start to finish. Arizona tied it in the final minute, and Wisconsin missed a chance to win it at the buzzer to force the overtime. Back and forth, low-scoring Badger basketball until things got really controversial in the final ten seconds. Zona had the ball, down one. Either they’d score and win the game, or miss and head back to Tuscon. That’s when this happened:

Now when I first saw that happen my initial reaction, like that of most Americans, was “The refs ruined another great game with a bad call.” After all, these guys have had a miserable, miserable year. They’re actually coming close to achieving NBA ref status!!! Do you realize how legendary that is? Gish Jen villain legendary!!

Yesterday’s Tennessee-Michigan game was a disgrace too. For whatever reason Michigan gave up and completely stopped trying against the Volunteers like I thought only a Derek Kellogg coached team was capable of. Somehow they couldn’t figure out how to inbound the ball, while clinging to a one point lead with nine seconds left. Then Michigan found a way to step out of bounds and immediately gave the ball back to Tennessee for a chance to win the game. That’s when this debauchery ensued:

Wussification of America right there. Stokes is a beast. He was being penalized there for the crime of having girth. He literally just turns around. That’s not a foul. Should’ve been nothing and seen what happened to that ball. It was cleanly hit out of his hands. Instead of seeing if he could save it before it went out of bounds, the ref ended the game right then and there. He did nothing illegal, and it didn’t give him any sort of advantage. Obvious no call if I’ve ever seen one.

But, upon further review, it turns out the offensive foul call in the Arizona game was a really, really great call. I only know that become some idiot from Arizona put the video on slow motion on youtube, trying to prove that it should’ve been a blocking foul:

You couldn’t see from the first angle that he pushes off, causing just enough separation to hit a wide open bunny that Derek Gordon hits ten times out of ten. Sorry kid who made this really terrible video, but that’s a foul. You can’t push away a moving defender with your hand in order to get a clean look at a game deciding jump six foot jump shot. Obvious foul. You wanted contact called because the defender was moving his feet? Look kid, your boy obviously pushes the defender away. And also, offensive charge isn’t a real thing. It’s called a player control foul.

And unlike the Tennessee-Michigan game, this one had ZERO implications. The shot was missed. Wisconsin’s big boys grab the rebound. A no call there and it’s over anyway. A no call in the Tennessee-Michigan game and things get real interesting, real fast.

Well basically everyone’s copying UMass now. In Tuscon it’s going down like you read about. Good ol fashioned riots. Bunch of lugnuts yelling and throwing beer at the POlice and getting arrested. Has the Blarney Blowout turned UMass into the de facto leader of the Arab Drunken College Students Spring? We’ve been following the tweets from Daily Wildcat, and it’s like watching a Van Dam movie.

Screen Shot 2014-03-30 at 2.03.07 AM Screen Shot 2014-03-30 at 2.01.56 AM Screen Shot 2014-03-30 at 2.01.40 AM Screen Shot 2014-03-30 at 2.03.28 AM Screen Shot 2014-03-30 at 2.04.01 AM Screen Shot 2014-03-30 at 2.04.26 AMScreen Shot 2014-03-30 at 2.08.03 AMYou gotta love the “They can’t take us all” chant. LOL. Hate to break it to you guys, but they totally can take you all. You’re all drunk and overconfident. They’re sober, pissed off that they had to work instead of watching the game, and they’re in no mood for your shit. Trust me, I went to UMass. We invented the post game riot.

But it wouldn’t be a riot without Junior Smokeshows taking selfies:

Screen Shot 2014-03-30 at 1.23.39 AMYea, sorry Arizona but I can’t feel bad for you. You guys lose and you go back to hanging out with those women of the night. Wisconsin loses and they go back to cow tipping.

Awesome riot. Awesome games. If Michigan and Michigan State both win tomorrow it will set up one of the epic Final Four’s of our generation. Three Big Ten teams, and an SEC team who has won a million straight games in a row. I NEED that to happen tomorrow.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3 Comment(s)
  • John
    March 30, 2014 at 11:15 am

    I’d rather a no-call there. It was minimal contact on both sides. The shot missed though…no riots necessary.

  • President
    March 30, 2014 at 2:54 am

    They’re going to have fun with the CJ system ran by none other than Springfield, MA native Joe Arapio

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