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Assumption College Bomb Threat Dude Might Be Worst Terrorist Ever

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Telegram and Gazette — A former Assumption College student who was expelled earlier this year for disciplinary reasons was ordered held without bail Friday on charges of making a bomb threat that shut down the Salisbury Street campus Wednesday. 

Mohammed Braimah, 21, of Hyde Park, was arrested early Friday morning on warrants charging him with making a bomb or hijack threat, making a bomb or hijack threat causing serious public alarm and witness intimidation. Court records state that Mr. Braimah was expelled from Assumption May 12 “for several incidents” at the school, including one in which he was charged with receiving a laptop computer stolen from a fellow student. Mr. Braimah was also charged in April with two counts of assault and battery after two women who said they had dated him reported to campus police that they had been assaulted by him, according to court records. Assistant District Attorney Joseph A. Quinlan told Judge Paul L. McGill at Mr. Braimah’s Central District Court arraignment Friday that the bomb threat, which was communicated by email to a college employee Tuesday night, was a “retaliatory measure.” 

Mr. Quinlan said Mr. Braimah used the telephone number of the owner of the stolen laptop to create an email address from which the bomb threat was sent, in an effort to focus suspicion on that individual as the author of the threatening message. Natalie Rose, the lawyer appointed to represent Mr Braimah at his arraignment, said he is suffering from mental health issues that include depression and that his expulsion from Assumption caused a great deal of stress in his life. Ms. Rose noted that no one was injured as a result of her client’s alleged actions and that no bomb was found.  She asked the judge to set $5,000 cash bail on the new charges against Mr. Braimah and not to revoke his bail on the earlier charges. 

“Jail is not the appropriate place for him,” Ms. Rose told the court. 

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Bro, do you even bomb? Worst bomb threat ever. Hey here’s a piece of advice – if you’re gonna threaten to bomb an entire school via an email, make sure your name isn’t Mohammed. Seriously, anything but Mohammed.

Here’s the thing with this kid – at first I KIND OF felt bad for him. He’s obviously borderline mentally handicapped. He wanted to get a rise out of some people, and he went way, way, way too far. I’ve done dumb shit when I was 21 too. Nothing quite like this, but still, I’m willing to give any 21 year old a pass on account of being a dumbass.

But not this dingleberry. Dude, you got kicked out of Assumption college with like two weeks to go in the school year. Do you understand how much of an asshole you have to be to get kicked out of school with two weeks to go? They could’ve easily just waited you out and said you can’t come back in the fall. But they wanted to get rid of you immediately, because you were simply THAT much of an asshole.

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And here’s another idea – when you’re on the hook for not one, but TWO counts of assault against girls you used to make out with, don’t threaten to blow up the school. Maybe keep a low profile for a bit till the heat dies down.

This is what kids do for revenge these days? Pressure cooker bomb threats? What ever happened to just ordering five large pepperoni pizzas to your ex-girlfriend’s house, or a drive by egging? Those always have hilarious consequences, and no one ever investigates them because they assume it’s some punk kid that’s not worth the police’s time.

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But a bomb threat? What the fuck is you thinking boi? And of all the types of bombs, you chose to go with the pressure cooker? Ummm, kind of a sensitive topic around these parts Mohammed. How did you think this was gonna end? The school would just throw up their arms and say, “those damn kids with their pressure cooker bomb jokes again!!”

My favorite part about this is his court appointed lawyer chiming in at the end. “Jail is not an appropriate place for him.” Yea, definitely not. My man Mohammed is a model citizen. Sure he beats the shit out of women, steals lap tops, and forces an entire campus to evacuate for 48 hours over a terrorist threat. But that doesn’t mean he belongs in jail!! That’s for bad guys!! Does this look like the Facebook profile picture of a bad guy?

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I think not. #FreeMohammed

Feel free to share your thoughts to keep the conversation going.

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4 Comment(s)
  • Frogshit
    October 18, 2014 at 8:31 am

    A real fuckin’ scholar here! Of course a “court appointed lawyer”.

  • October 17, 2014 at 7:57 pm

    I hear there are a few empty suites down in Guantanamo.

  • Mike
    October 17, 2014 at 7:31 pm

    What a fucking bonehead

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