Nudniks

Attention Hungry Brockton Christian RapDad Starts Online Witchhunt On The Hub After Accusing Pastor Of Slapping His 5 Year Old Son In Rambling Broken English Rant, This Wouldn’t Be His First Time Using His Kids For Attention Online

"I Am Turtleboy" now available on Amazon

Attention Hungry Brockton Christian RapDad Starts Online Witchhunt On The Hub After Accusing Pastor Of Slapping His 5 Year Old Son In Rambling Broken English Rant, This Wouldn’t Be His First Time Using His Kids For Attention Online

 

Follow and like the Turtleboy Sports Returns, and Clarence Woods Emerson to keep up with the hilarious turtle rider commentary.

Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information.

If you like free speech and want to support what we’re doing, feel free to donate to the Turtle fund:




 

 

 

 

 

 

Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship.

 

Thanks to the internet and the gullible, hysterical people who use it, it has never been easier than it is today to ruin a business, career or reputation over some bullshit than it is today. Now we get to add “place of worship” to that list, too.

This is Vernon Ford, one of the fine, upstanding citizens of the city of Brockton.

Vernon is alleging that his son was hit by a…umm…pastor or something, in God’s house no less. I think. That’s about as much as I could gather from the word diarrhea he splattered all over the Brockton Hub:

What in the Nigerian prince email happen to yo’ baby?

 

My head was spinning just trying to get through that broken English essay. Of course he posted this to The Brockton Hub, because as is often the case in internet sob stories, the police did nothing to help. They just shrugged and said, “Go on social media.”

Naturally, though, because he wisely chose to go to the Brockton Hub instead of the authorities, people lost their goddamn minds, and all the hardos came out to yell AINT NOBUDDY GON WALK AGAIN IF THEY DO THAT TO MUH BEHBEES

 

Yeah, totally believable, guys. Let’s drag this Kachi dude through the mud, maybe show up to his house with torches and pitchforks. Because he totally, definitely, without a doubt went slaphappy on a little kid in a church. No doubt. This guy from the Brockton Hub says so, therefore it must be true.

 

It’s not like he’s ever tried to use his kids for attention before, by like, living vicariously through forcing them to make shitty rap music on the internet or anything.

 

 

  1. “Yung Tai” sounds like noodles I would order at a shitty strip mall Chinese restaurant drunk at 12am. Pick a better rap name for your little money grab, Dad.
  2. The fact that you made your kid make this awful music and posted it to the internet is the real child abuse here.
  3. I didn’t believe your story before, now I really don’t.

This guy obviously wants the attention. He wanted a rap “career” but ended up an abjectly poor barely-literate living in Brockton, Massachusetts, because he sucks, just like every other wannabe “MC” that ends up on here. Newsflash Vernon, your kid sucks, too. Why do you want him to get bullied? If this is how you want to raise your kids, fine. Labor Ready will always be looking for help. But then you don’t get to bitch and moan on the Hub whenever they get slapped. Thems the rules, sorry.

11 Comment(s)
  • deflateddoritodinks
    November 16, 2018 at 4:31 pm

    I believe my cat actually has a bona fide degree in journalism more than I believe these TV hacks do.

  • Da'Shiqi J'a'mai Ri-Nebzu'Fa Miriquan Ri'KEYbobi J'uanTac Mai~L'quan Jones
    November 16, 2018 at 11:32 am

    Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet consectetur adipiscing elit Maecenas pharetra semper nulla in efficitu Ut a finibus nisl Sed ullamcorper ipsum ac porta congue erat libero auctor odio vel ornare metus eros vitae tellusuis vel orci quis sem faucibus lobortis dignissim ac antesed sodales rutrum enim at suscipit Proin eget eros eu turpis fermentum facilisis in in ligula Maecenas venenatis leo non cursus euismod ligula urna cursus est sed rhoncus mauris ipsum eget rises Morbi dignissim felis sed tellus cursus a imperdiet leo accumsan Nunc vehicula sollicitudin ipsum Pellentesque interdum tempor mi ac pharetra nisl luctus ut. In hac habitasse platea dictumst Mauris luctus magna non orci consectetur fringilla Morbi ac ante quam Praesent sit amet libero vulputate tincidunt orci ac hendrerit purus In convallis nunc sit amet sagittis congue Vestibulum eget posuere tortor Pellentesque dui nisliaculis a tellus nec porta sagittis dolor BITCHES

  • Hey, hey, we're the Monkees
    November 16, 2018 at 9:51 am

    Simon Hessler would like to order the Yung Tai.

    Hey, hey, we’re the Monkees
    And people say we monkey around
    But we’re too busy singing
    To put anybody down

  • Revrun Fishknuckle
    November 16, 2018 at 9:16 am

    Yo Vernon, ya’ll needs to chill.

    I spoke wiff da Revrun Kachi and he told me dat lil Jay’Nel done blasphemed in da House of the Lawd so he slapped him back into da spirit an sheeit..

  • The Vorlon
    November 16, 2018 at 8:22 am

    All I can think about is that great line from ‘Airplane!’

    “Excuse me, I speak Jive…”

    • Lola Bunny
      November 16, 2018 at 11:04 pm

      Lmao! That’s hilarious

  • Al Sharpton's bank account
    November 16, 2018 at 8:13 am

    Can anyone on the Brockton Hub put a legible sentence together? Did any on them ever get beyond 5th grade. These ramblings make Ebonics look like Shakespeare. Jesus Christ, I wish Africa would call and ask them to return.

  • Wun Hung Lo
    November 16, 2018 at 4:35 am

    ‘ Young Tai”, does that come with crunchy noodles?

    • Hugh-Bo Mont
      November 16, 2018 at 10:50 am

      Kum Of Sum Yung Gai was too long.

  • Dr. Wilby Rockinitt, MD
    November 16, 2018 at 1:05 am

    I love the Brockton Hub.
    It is the everlasting gobstopper of dysfunctionality on parade.
    Never any shortage of the “I would of done blah blah blah…” commentary. (It’s would have or would’ve, I know.)
    Isn’t Kachi one of those earthy crunchy cereals that Birkenstock wearing Subaru bumper sticker display pilots love to munch on when the rug isn’t filling enough?

    • Rockets Redglare
      November 16, 2018 at 5:42 am

      ” When the rug isn’t filling enough?” Good one!

Comment on this Post

*

RELATED POSTS
Nostalgic Facebook Commentators Are Really Pissed Off About Snow Days For Kids
Guy Who Tried Hiding In Tree To Flee Cops on I-290 Earns Moron of the Week Award
Auburn Fan Who Refused To Bet On Florida State Loses Chance To Win Free $25,000 Is Giant Moron