Attention Seeking Meatwagon Claims Fat Guy Beat Up And Kidnapped Kid With Bag Over His Head In Fitchburg Big Lots Parking Lot

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Attention Seeking Meatwagon Claims Fat Guy Beat Up And Kidnapped Kid With Bag Over His Head In Fitchburg Big Lots Parking Lot

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There are two reasons to make up a huge lie on the Internet:

  1. Scamming people out of money
  2. Desperation for attention

At least when you’re lying for the first reason your motives are understandable. You’re trying to make a couple bucks because you can attain tangible good and services with currency.

But I’ll be damned if I’ll ever understand why people do stuff like this:

Here’s video surveillance of what trasnpired:

Oh yea, this definitely happened. Just to review:

  • Kerrie Adams’ “friend” witnessed a fat guy with long straggly hair kicking the shit out of a 7 or 8 year old boy in the Big Lots parking lot, on the heavily trafficked John Fitch Highway in Fitchburg.
  • The man put a bag over the child’s head and twisted it closed around his neck.
  • A woman was with him and allowed it all to happen.
  • They drove away in a car that said, “keep the faith” on the driver’s side rear number (whatever that means).
  • The car was either a beat up four door sedan. Like a Ford Explorer. Which is an SUV, not a sedan.

Oh yea, this story checks out.

The best part is that nowhere in the post does it mention calling the cops, which makes it even more believable. Because lots of people would see a 7 year old boy being kidnapped by some laardvark ISIS style on the John Fitch Highway, and their first instinct would be, “better post this on Facebook.”

Oh right, Kerrie wasn’t the one who witnessed it, it was her friend. So she’ll likely hide behind the “I’m not the liar” card. Her imaginary friend, who shall go unnamed, is the liar.

But if you hear a story like this, and it’s clearly made up, and you still post about it on a community Facebook page, then you’re no better than the person who first told the tall tale.

Nevertheless, many people actually wasted valuable time in their day debating what the witness should have done:

Other smarter people knew better:

Some actually called the police who confirmed to them that no one reported anything about this:

Although Kerrie herself insists that the cops are all over this one:

Meanwhile CSI Fitchburg vowed to use his skills of fixing ATM machines in order to solve the crime on his own:

Yea, I can’t believe people still fall for stuff like this. Kids don’t get kidnapped in Big Lots parking lots. Life is not a Lifetime movie. It’s real life. When you see a story like this on Facebook your initial reaction should always be, “that’s a lie.” If it’s true then they’ll prove it’s true. Like I said, I have no idea why people do stuff like this, but they do. Usually they just want attention and maybe a pat on the back for being a hero. But this woman didn’t even lie right, and she ended up looking like the lady who stood by and did nothing as a little boy got kidnapped.

Be a better liar next time Kerrie.

21 Comment(s)
  • Turd Reversalist
    December 23, 2017 at 2:46 am

    Oh, that old familiar tingle is back.
    Naughty girl, telling lies.
    Roll over, the plunging rod of justice will balance the scales forthwith.

  • Lookout
    December 21, 2017 at 11:30 pm

    Anyone else think she looks like a muppet in the zombie photo pose?

  • Lookout
    December 21, 2017 at 10:25 pm

    Fitchburg and Big Lots…two things bad enough on their own. The fact that there is a Big Lots IN Fitchburg…it is a sign of the end times.

  • Finn
    December 21, 2017 at 9:48 pm

    Dear Ian Kimmel,

    The snark and bullshit is strong with you. The cops know what they’re doing. I’ll doubt they’ll need your “evidence”.

    I did my “due diligence” too.

    DeVry University
    Associate’s Degree, Network and System Administration/Administrator, College
    Started Jan 1, 2013 and ended Dec 31, 2013

    Unmanned Aircraft Systems Training Battalion — Army Reserves
    Started Jan 1, 2008 and ended Dec 31, 2009

    YCP High School — Boot camp style GED school for “troubled youths” – hence the Army Reserves (they *strongly* advise that as “next steps”)
    High School, GED, 12+
    Started Jan 1, 2007 and ended Dec 31, 2007

    Good for you Ian! But you can find this guy – right?


    • SVU
      December 22, 2017 at 8:13 am

      ^^ lol always love your posts!!

      • Becky Blueline
        December 22, 2017 at 1:13 pm

        Same here, SVU! #FinnFan

  • A Toast to Titties
    December 21, 2017 at 6:05 pm

    Christmas Spirit

    • vicxh
      December 22, 2017 at 4:25 pm

      I would jingle them. Both.

  • ElJefe72
    December 21, 2017 at 5:53 pm

    Sometimes I wish I was part of the 47%. Nothing to do but post on social media all day.

  • Uncle Skid Mark
    December 21, 2017 at 5:48 pm

    Dammit kids does uncle Skid Mark have to splain everthing to you dumbasses.

    If she’s the blonde at the top with living dead guy, I would totally bang her.

    Nice looking, the story isn’t the kid with a bag on his head. The story is hot chick who isn’t too much of an obvious slut to show up with in public and she is insecure or dumb enough to post this crap. Why is that important?

    It’s important because it means she is up for all kinds of sexcapades, anal acrobatics, kuma ultra slutra. She needa the attentia because she not getta fucka enough, kapiche.

  • The Rant Queen
    December 21, 2017 at 5:18 pm

    Turtleboy, lifetime movies are usually based on true events lol

    This idiot’s story is obviously a lie, but to say things like “Kidnappings dont happen here” is kind of…ignorant. This is the 2nd article where it’s stated that kids dont get nabbed in a certain place, (the other was Toys R Us in a shitty town, I believe). They can be nabbed anywhere there is a creep, a negligent parent, and an opportunity. Might not be common but absolutely possible.

    Just saying.

    • festivus
      December 21, 2017 at 7:20 pm

      he’s being flippant/tongue in cheek, not literal

    • Finn
      December 21, 2017 at 10:13 pm

      Rant Queen,

      This is going to be kinda weird, but I’m going to quote myself from another thread, statistics and numbers to “prove” unrelated claims. What you’re doing is called “Misleading vividness— The mere fact that an event is particularly vivid or dramatic does not make the event more likely to occur, especially in the case of significant statistical evidence.”.”.

      It’s like saying, there was kid kidnapped in Boston, Dracut and Lowell, therefore kids are being stolen EVERYWHERE. A small number of dramatic and sometimes events (think 9/11, murder, kidnapping, bombings) are taken into consideration over a surmountable amount of statistical evidence that proves otherwise.


  • Officer Barbrady
    December 21, 2017 at 5:10 pm

    I’d like to know what that 7 year old did before hand to force this heavy man to wrap his head in a plastic bag. Nobody ever shows the video before the beating, you know this “kid” did something to deserve this.

    If the “kid” didn’t do anything wrong then why isn’t he telling his side?

    If you’re not doing anything wrong you have nothing to worry about… nuff said!!!

    • too true ;)
      December 21, 2017 at 7:17 pm


  • vicxh
    December 21, 2017 at 4:42 pm

    I would. Even in the Big Lots parking lot.

  • TJB
    December 21, 2017 at 4:34 pm

    Hey fellow turtle riders, be advised DOO doo smelgado has her minions reporting FB members. I just got 7 days for a pic I posted many times before. Fire it up, report any time this hosemonster makes a post. The one thing I’m thankful for this Christmas; I’m not a fat, black chimp looking Ape who is a militant lesbian and Man hater, who collects thousands in Massachusetts benefits while receiving hundreds per day from guilty White women. Since when is being a fat, black whore a disability?

    • Kimk
      December 21, 2017 at 4:52 pm

      I am starting to think i will pretend to be a poc or well wtf i will just post pics of my lilly white self on fakebook and say I identify as a poc and pull a didi

      I am in serious needs of funds ugh things are rough and being disabled sucks and now diagnosed with of all things MRSA!!

      Any guilty white chicks wanna donate? My 23andme shows i am a huge mutt

    December 21, 2017 at 4:09 pm


  • Kerrie Adams
    December 21, 2017 at 4:05 pm

    Never was kid napping mentioned or did I or my friend say the guy was fat! Your info is wrong!

    • Goose
      December 21, 2017 at 5:19 pm

      Hey Kerrie? Kerrie. Listen.


      Show us the police report, and I will eat boiled crow.

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