How Badly Will The Patriots Beat The Ravens?

patriots 41, ravens 7

Follow us on Twitter and on Facebook

Check out more hot takes from Dubsism


I don’t know about you, but I’m fired up for the New England Patriots next week because the Baltimore Ravens are coming to town. Think about it, this is exactly what we need to cement this team as the greatest in NFL history. Beat the Ravens, Broncos, and Packers on the way to Brady’s fourth ring. Avege, avenge, avenge. The Ravens are just so remarkably unlikeable. Every time I hear Ray Lewis talk now I wanna kill myself. We should make the terrorists listen to his post game analysis with Trent Dilfer. I know he’s not on the Ravens anymore, but he still won a Super Bowl there two years ago under the auspices that he may or may not have participated in a murder. If only he could find that suit and prove his innocence. Shucks.

What happens when you do kill someone while employed by the Patriots? You get cut and Bill Belichick testifies against you. What happens when you murder in Baltimore? You play out your career with the team before becoming the worst person on television.

And guess what? This isn’t the same Baltimore team as 2012. For anyone who is naive enough to be worried about this team, I’d just like to remind you that the last time we played the Ravens this was how it ended up:

patriots 41, ravens 7

The Ravens aren’t some family club that keeps the same people. They’re a business – a company. They have the same logo and uniforms but they don’t employ the same people. Ray Lewis isn’t gonna be there and neither is Anquan Bolden or Ray Rice. Speaking of Ray Rice, after the Patriots beat the shit out of him we should make him apologize for provoking us. That would be fitting.

Newsflash – this is not the same Patriots team that lost to Baltimore two years ago. Guess who’s playing cornerback? Darrelle Revis. Guess who’s not playing  cornerback anymore? Julian Edelman. Guess who’s playing tight end who wasn’t there in 2012? This man:


The bottom line is that I’m not at all worried about this game and neither should you. If the Patriots don’t win by two touchdowns I will be thoroughly disappointed. I’m sick of hearing about Terrell Suggs already. You know what happened the last time Suggs crossed Gronk? This:

Pancake city. Expect to see a lot of that next weekend. Super Bowl train coming through get out of the way or you will be creamed.

Follow us on Twitter and on Facebook

Check out more hot takes from Dubsism








2 Comment(s)
  • Finnish Goalie
    January 4, 2015 at 3:09 pm

    So, we need a score prediction then. Two touchdowns? So what, 14-0?

  • Anthony
    January 4, 2015 at 4:41 am

    THANK YOU!!! Finally someone agrees. All I hear about is how the Ravens have beaten them in the past even from PATS fans. I’m glad at least one person agrees.

Comment on this Post


Who Did A Better Job Of Cheating: Jason Kidd or Mike Tomlin?
Cleveland Browns Backup QB Is Best Kept Freak Show In NFL
Priceless Fan Reactions to Alabama-Auburn Game As BCS Fails Again In It’s Final Season